by S M Mala
‘Now?’
‘I think we should speak about what happened the other week.’
Ed kissed her very quickly, holding her face in his hands, before darting back out from where he came.
Flora looked down at her vest. Her nipples were sticking so far out it looked like she’d grown two horns.
Though she currently had a very big one.
The curtains were being shuffled. She sat down and pressed her top half into the table, so he couldn’t see her erect bosoms.
Something made her shiver when she thought about what Ed had done even though he knew not to touch her there.
But it was the surprise which didn’t make her flinch or turn away.
Matias stepped in and she looked at him.
He seemed sheepish.
‘Before you say anything,’ he said, sitting down opposite her. ‘I know you’re very angry with me. Your friend pointed that out again. I realise your reaction the other week was down to knowing I’m moving on.’
Flora sensed the same old feeling she had about him. The instant dislike because he was assuming so much but knew so little. She couldn’t look at him in the eye.
‘I’m engaged to Ramona and she wants to set a date for the wedding. Obviously we have to be divorced before that can happen,’ he continued then looked at her sympathetically. ‘I do worry about you. When I see the people around here, I know you’re very lucky to be alive. I just didn’t appreciate it at the time.’ Matias smiled. ‘I do care about you, you know that, don’t you?’
She smiled and nodded, which was expected. Still the contempt and disappointment she felt about him was burning in her chest.
‘I’d like to see the children this weekend and maybe take them away to an adventure park for a few days,’ he said, still smiling. ‘I know it’s short notice but I want to spend time with them.’
Immediately she knew he was up to something but waited.
‘You see, when Ramona and I get married, I’m toying with the idea of setting up a business in Argentina as well as running the one over here.’
Flora suddenly clicked.
‘You want to see the kids as much as possible before you abandon them for your child bride and think that by taking them away, they’ll love you just as much. You really are a selfish fuck, aren’t you? That’s why you wanted to get the place sorted,’ she said, shaking her head and looking furiously at him. ‘And they’ll be alright with this? Being abandoned by their father?’
‘I know you have issues about that but-’
‘They’re not toys or things, they’re little people. Don’t you care about them?’ she asked, raising her voice. ‘Personally, I don’t care if I never see your face again but they love you. You can’t just up and leave because you feel like it. You have responsibilities!’
‘I’d never shirk my financial obligation to them,’ he said, looking like he was getting angry. ‘I know what responsibilities I have.’
‘To love them. To be with them. Not to let them down!’
‘You’re obviously very emotional right now,’ he said standing up. ‘I think it’s best I do this through my lawyer.’
Matias turned and bent down to leave.
It was too good an opportunity.
Flora got her foot and kicked him hard right up the arse, watching him fall forward.
She knew he’d do her for assault this time.
The curtains were flung back and Ed was standing on one side, Paulette on the other and, to her utter astonishment, Faith, Gaynor and Priti.
‘On his hands and knees like he should be!’ hissed Gaynor walking up to Matias and Flora knew she’d try and put a boot in too.
‘He tripped,’ Flora lied.
‘You’re such a bitch!’ he hissed at her. ‘I think you have a mental illness problem as well as a physical one.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with her, either way,’ Paulette diplomatically replied.
‘He’s the father of my children, unfortunately, so please don’t humiliate him in public,’ Flora said, standing up straight before seeing him jump angrily to his feet. ‘That’s my job.’
‘Why you-.’
‘You go to your lawyers! Tell them what you want to do and then I’ll make sure you have no custody or rights to see them when you want. Believe me, you can’t let my children down!’
‘They can come and see me in Argentina.’
‘No fuck way!’ she shouted loudly, stepping forward noticing Ed flick her a concerned glance.
‘You lay another finger on me and I’ll get you locked up!’
‘Well, I know you’d never lay a finger on me because you’d simply pass out from disgust,’ she hissed back, looking to see where the kids were. They were sitting with Lisa and Nathan, their backs to her, eating candy floss. ‘You shouldn’t be here. You never supported me when I was ill. You’ll probably go home and disinfect yourself in case you think you can catch germs.’
‘Is he that thick?’ asked Priti and Flora realised her two friends were quite piddled.
Then she looked at Faith and could see the intensity of her sister’s anger.
‘Go away Matias and leave Flora alone. You’ve done enough to make sure she’d never recover from her illness. All you ever wanted was her to worship the ground you walked on but you know what? You were never good enough and you know it,’ her sister said calmly, in a voice Flora had heard very rarely. Matias looked horrified at the comment. ‘In a few weeks you’ll be divorced and it’s over.’
‘Can I have the kids next weekend then you can take them the week after?’ he said calmly, brushing himself down and flashing a false smile.
‘What about my mum’s party?’ Ed said, moving closer. ‘You’re invited. It’s a week on Friday.’
‘I’ll babysit,’ hissed Faith, flashing Matias evil stares. ‘You go Flora and enjoy yourself.’
‘I can have them. I’m not abandoning my children,’ he said, giving her a filthy look.
‘Faith can have them on Friday and you can pick them up on Saturday morning. They start school on Tuesday so I want them back early Sunday afternoon.’ Flora swallowed hard but looked at Ed and something melted. ‘Is that alright?’
‘Why can’t I have them on Friday as well?’
‘I want to spend time with them,’ said Faith glaring at the man. ‘Why did she kick you?’
‘Because he’s going to leave the country and go to Argentina, leaving my children.’
‘Our children,’ Matias corrected and she saw him glance at Ed and roll his eyes, as if Flora was being unreasonable.
‘Are you really going?’ Ed asked, looking at Faith then at Flora. ‘You never said.’
‘She has a habit of getting violent recently so it’s best I leave the country,’ smirked Matias.
Flora was tempted to punch him really hard.
It was then she realised Paulette was holding her arm.
‘Say goodbye to your children and go,’ Flora said, Matias’s words now sinking in. She knew how devastated the kids would be. It was like history repeating itself and she felt sick. ‘And don’t come round to the house to speak to me ever again. I’ve got nothing more to say to you.’
She turned and walked back into the tent, closing the curtains behind her and burying her face in her hands.
‘I knew that’s why he wanted to pay for the place to be decorated after all this time!’ she screamed into her palms. ‘He’s such a deceitful fucker!’
Only Matias could take something nice and turn it bad.
Her heart sank.
A warm hand was placed on her shoulder. It was Paulette.
‘Let him go if that’s what he wants,’ she said quietly. ‘He’s trying to get a reaction from you. Thing is, he thinks you’re still in love with him. His vanity won’t accept that you’ve fallen in love with someone else. Let’s be honest Flora, did you ever fall out of love with Ed?’
‘Can anyone hear us?’ she whispered, not wanting to turn around.
‘Let go of your anger and fear about being abandoned and disappointed. Have confidence in you. You have to let Ed in.’
‘I’m trying.’
‘You have to show him who you are, not be afraid.’
‘Is this psychic Paulette or smart Paulette?’
‘This is your friend talking who loves you and wants to see you happy.’
Flora suddenly started to well up and this time she couldn’t stop the tears. Even when she did the breathing exercise it went wrong and she choked instead.
‘Listen to me,’ Paulette said, holding her shoulders. ‘There’s nothing wrong about being afraid. But you don’t have to be. Let Ed guide you and you’ll be alright. Trust me. And if he lets you down, I’ll scare the living shit out of him when I come back from the dead.’
‘Grandma seems well,’
… Amelia said, sitting with Ed on the pavement outside a French bar on the High Road. It was a warm evening but you could feel the hint of a chill as the summer days were now drawing to an end. They’d just been to see his mother and his daughter was now rushing off. ‘In fact she seems pretty perky.’
‘Her party’s in a week’s time,’ he smiled, noticing the light bounce off her shimmering hair. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Do I have a choice?’
‘And who is Jerome?’
‘Dad?’
‘Your grandma mentioned him and how come I don’t know?’ Ed watched his daughter frown then stare back. ‘Is he a nice guy?’
The road was buzzing as he saw an array of people walk back from work and head out for a Friday night drink. He was going to meet Flora round her house soon but he wanted to catch up with Amelia first.
His daughter was turning into a woman and he was at a loss on how to question her about boyfriends.
‘He’s five foot ten like you and has dark brown eyes. His mother is Jamaican and his father is Polish, which means he’s of mixed ethnic origin. He’s studying to be a mediator and I fancy the arse off him as he’s hot,’ she said deadpan. ‘I’ve been seeing him for fourteen weeks and I’m very happy. Grandma said I can bring him to the party. Is that okay?’
Ed sat back in his chair and started to laugh, seeing Amelia was going to smile.
‘I’m too young to have a grown up child,’ he sighed and looked at her cheeky grin. ‘But you are the most beautiful girl in the world.’
‘What about you? Are you seeing anyone?’
‘Yes I am and I’m not going to tell you who she is.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I need to cross a few hurdles with her and when she’s ready, then I’ll let everyone know.’
‘Is she that special?’
‘She’s amazing.’
‘No!’
… Flora said when Max spotted Ed sitting outside a bar on the High Road. ‘He’s with someone.’
‘We can say ‘hello’. You’re always saying it’s rude not to.’
She couldn’t think and knew they were going to walk past. Flora had agreed to drop the kids off at the Italian pizzeria a few doors away. There was no way she could turn around and avoid what was going to happen next.
But her heart sunk to the bottom of her gut seeing Ed touch the girl gently on the face. He looked totally in love.
Flora realised she’d jumped to the wrong conclusion about her and him.
Ed was still with his younger woman and Flora was… she couldn’t fathom it out but she knew it wasn’t how she hoped.
‘Ed!’ shouted out Max and Flora noticed Lola was looking up at her.
‘Are you okay?’ her daughter asked. ‘You look a bit odd.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said, seeing Ed’s startled expression.
Hoping her total disappointment wouldn’t show, Flora smiled brightly as Ed stood up and hugged Max.
‘Hello,’ he said and started to blush. ‘What a surprise! Where are you off to?’ Ed’s cheeks had gone bright red and Flora knew he was probably embarrassed to be caught out. ‘This is-.’
‘We have to go,’ Flora said, turning to look at the beautiful young woman who reminded her of someone but she couldn’t fathom out who. ‘We’re going to be late. It was lovely to meet you. Have a great evening!’
Grabbing Max’s hand, she marched the pair down the road.
‘Why are you pulling me?’ he asked, when all the time Flora wanted a hole to swallow her up. Ed had just made a complete fool out of her and she didn’t know what to think. ‘Mum!’
‘Your dad will go mad if I’m late.’ Flora then stopped when they were out of sight and wanted to cry. But she held it all in and smiled brightly. Lola looked at her and could see through it. ‘I annoy him enough as it is.’
As they approached the pizzeria, she noticed Matias was by the window and frowned in her direction. She kissed the kids and let them go in to see him before she ran all the way in the opposite direction of her home.
She was stumped on how to cancel Ed so waited a few moments before composing a text.
‘Got a headache. We have to rearrange for another time. Have a lovely evening.’
Closing her eyes, she sent it and waited for a reply.
There wasn’t one.
She waited and waited but still nothing.
That’s when she knew he knew he’d been rumbled and he was doing what Ed did best.
Stay strong and very silent.
‘It’s her!’
… laughed Amelia when they walked towards the tube station. ‘That’s the one.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
Ed was now feeling his face go redder by the second.
‘Oh, you’re so funny!’ she said, grabbing his arm. ‘If you blush even more, people are going to think you’re having a heart attack. Her kids are sweet.’
‘Why didn’t she stay to say ‘hello’,’ he asked, puzzled by her behaviour then reached for his phone.
Flora had sent a message. He blinked when he read it.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, stopping dead in her tracks. ‘Dad?’
‘She’s got a headache.’
‘Who has?’
‘Flora.’
‘Who’s Flora?’
He was stumped. She looked fine to him. More than fine.
‘That was Flora? The Flora? Oh, my god, she’s gorgeous. And you’re seeing her? Are you sure you’re not boxing above your weight?’
‘Why would she say she had a headache and tell me to have a lovely evening?’
He was met with a roar of laughter from Amelia, who then started looking in her bag.
‘Maybe, just maybe, based on your chequered past, she might have thought we were together?’
‘Flora wouldn’t think...’ Amelia grinned at him before getting her travel pass out. ‘Oh my god!’ he said, knowing what Flora was like when she got something into her head. ‘It’s taken me weeks to convince her that I didn’t just dump her all those years ago.’
‘What do you mean? Were you and she together?’
Ed stood still.
It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with his daughter there and then.
‘I fell in love with her but we couldn’t be together. Pretty simple,’ he said, trying to think of a text to send Flora but not being able to fathom out what to say.
‘Your first love?’
‘The one I fell in love with but…’ He squirmed knowing it might sound bad. ‘Listen, it’s for another time.’
‘The one mum said you never got over.’ He looked at Amelia standing perfectly still. She didn’t look at him accusingly but more puzzled. ‘If you liked her so much, why didn’t you ever go and find her?’
‘Because…’
‘You stuck with mum because she was pregnant with Eddie and me, is that why?’
‘I didn’t think Flora would have understood. She had so much going for her and it would have put her in a difficult situation.’
‘So you gave her up, just like that?’
&n
bsp; A rush of people came out of the tube and he didn’t know what to say.
‘I had obligations and I cared very much about your mother,’ he replied, feeling uncomfortable. ‘When we broke up, it wasn’t down to Flora. I didn’t even know where she was. Any reunions or school reunion websites, there was no mention of her name. She simply disappeared.’
‘And now you’ve found her again, what are you going to do?’ Amelia started to smile before pulling him down for a hug. ‘You’re a silly lump, do you know that?’
‘Why?’
‘Because even now you’re wasting time explaining something when you should be explaining me to her. Go round and tell her who I am and maybe just…’ Amelia stopped. ‘She had cancer, didn’t she? Is she better now?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘Grandma said her husband didn’t want her when he found out.’ She hesitated and looked at Ed. He knew what she was thinking. ‘Dad, you know that sometimes the scarring isn’t very-.’
‘Your grandmother saw her breasts. She said they were beautiful.’ He now went crimson. Amelia laughed. ‘And Flora’s scared to commit to me.’
‘Then make her feel safe and she will.’
‘Flora!’
… Ed shouted, knocking on the door.
She was sat at the kitchen table, deep in thought.
‘Flora!’
It was possible to pretend she wasn’t in but she had music on and he’d have heard it.
There was only one alternative.
To hide under the table until he went away.
Taking her glass of wine, she slowly crawled under because she knew her heart had been turned into rubble once again.
‘I can see you,’ he said and she looked up. Ed was peering at her through the letter box. ‘That’s an interesting way to cure a headache.’
Closing her eyes, she got up and walked towards the door, taking a deep breath before practising her winning smile.
‘Hello,’ she said, standing with the door only opened a couple of inches. ‘I’ve got a headache.’
‘That’s why you’re drinking wine and hiding under the table?’
‘It’s an alternative cure.’
‘Can I come in?’ he gently asked. ‘I won’t make your headache any worse.’
