“No! Please stop!” I lurched away, scrambling to the foot of the bed and leaping off.
“Deva, what’s wrong?” Rohan came toward me and I backed away, the farther I got from him, the more the pain faded. When Rohan stepped off the bed and reached me in a quick stride, I recoiled from his touch, fearing that the stinging sensation would return.
“It hurts when you touch me,” I said, terrified by what could be wrong. I had them both now—dragon and ursa, fire and earth—yet it was pure agony to be touched by either of them.
Rohan held up his hand. “I can feel your fear, baby. I won’t hurt you if I can help it.” He eased closer and I tensed when he lifted his hands, hovering close to my shoulders. Gently, he rested one hand against my skin. “Does this hurt?”
“No,” I said, exhaling a heavy breath. “It doesn’t hurt, oh thank Gaia!” I fell into his arms, unable to suppress the tears of relief and confusion over what just happened.
Rohan held me tight and I drank in the comfort of his embrace. But a moment later, the pain lanced through my body once more and I jerked back, eyes flying wide. Keagan stood inches away, his hand poised to touch me. His face was stricken with hurt and confusion.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening!” My voice shook with panic as I backed away again until my back hit the door. I fumbled with the handle behind me until the door opened. With another apology, I slipped through, shutting the door—and my shocked pair of mates—behind me.
I stood there, confused and still hurting because I could feel them on the other side of the heavy wood. I stumbled backward away from the door, eyes welling with tears. My soul was theirs, irrevocably bound, yet for some reason being near them both was pure agony. What had we done wrong?
They called my name through the door but thankfully didn’t try to open it again. All I could do was stand there and cry and say “I’m sorry” over and over again.
“Deva?” I jerked at the voice behind me, only to turn and see Bodhi standing a few feet away, his brows drawn together in concern. He held the TV remote loosely in one hand and Blaze sat at his side, head tilted with curious interest. The other hounds weren’t around, and I only abstractly remembered that I’d commanded them to guard the outside of the hotel.
“Bodhi! Oh Gaia, I don’t know what happened.” I flung myself toward him, and he let out a surprised grunt when I wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t hesitate to return the embrace. In his arms, the pain dissipated entirely, as if it had never existed, and I sighed, clinging to him and sniffling.
“I’m here,” he murmured. “Did they hurt you?” He kept one arm around me as he urged me across the suite to the long sofa in the center. When we settled down side-by-side, the other three hounds appeared, circled the low coffee table and settled onto the floor beside Blaze. They appeared alert, but not the happy gluttons they’d been after Rohan and I had mated. At least Jewel’s magic tether to Keagan had disappeared. His soul was healed, but what had we broken in the process?
“They didn’t mean to. I don’t know what happened. I was with Keagan. He—he did it. He gave me a piece of his soul when we made love. I can feel it inside me now.” I sniffled and pressed my hands to my midsection, just beneath my breasts where the low thrum of power seemed to live. “Then Rohan joined us and when they touched me everything hurt.”
Bodhi left the sofa for a moment, strode swiftly to a closet and returned with a fluffy white robe that he draped around my shoulders. I slipped my arms through the sleeves and huddled into its warmth. He sat again and wrapped his arms around me. I sank against him, grateful for the contact, and stared at the closed door to the bedroom, hating the dread I felt for the pair of men who waited on the other side. Men I loved.
“Did anything feel off to you when you were with Keagan alone?” Bodhi asked. “Tell me what happened.”
I tore my gaze away from the door and looked at him. “Nothing felt any different than when I was with Rohan the other night.” My skin heated at the memory and I couldn’t help but smile. “I mean, it wasn’t the same. It was good. Better than good. Keagan’s amazing.” I let out a long sigh.
Bodhi blinked at me, his lips twisting into a smile. “Yeah, the man is unforgettable, that’s for sure.”
“I’m sorry—” I began, but Bodhi shushed me with a shake of his head.
“You didn’t steal him from me, I promise. It was always you he wanted and I knew that. Besides, as much fun as I had with him, I’m still pretty sure we both like you more.”
Beyond the door, a pair of auras lingered, slightly overlapped, and deep voices carried with low murmurs, though I couldn’t make out what they said.
“Something’s wrong with me, Bodhi. It has to be my fault, whatever it is. Maybe I should never have tried.”
“Hey, we’ll figure it out. It sounds like it was all good with each of them, so let’s test a little theory I have. Sit tight, okay?”
I nodded, grateful for someone else’s intervention. He went to the door, knocked softly, then opened it a crack and poked his head in. A moment later, Keagan followed him back through, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, probably conjured by Rohan for him.
I pulled my legs under me and tugged the robe tighter around my torso as he came close, his eyes filled with worry. “I don’t know how to take it back,” he said.
“Dude, nobody’s taking anything back,” Bodhi said. “Just humor me.” He gave Keagan another nudge and the big ursa moved closer, eventually coming around the coffee table in front of me and settling down on it, a foot away. I retreated back into the sofa cushions.
“How do you feel?” Bodhi asked, standing several feet away. To Keagan he said, “Touch her.”
Keagan frowned and sat there unmoving. “I don’t want to cause her pain.”
“I don’t think you will,” Bodhi said.
Keagan reached out slowly, then rested his big hand on my knee. He looked at me, his eyebrows raised.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I said.
“Didn’t think so.” Bodhi moved toward the closed bedroom door again. “Stay there.”
Keagan exhaled slowly. “Fucking hell, you terrified me. I didn’t know what the hell happened.”
“I don’t know what happened either. I’m sorry I ran away.” I shifted forward on the sofa until my knees were between his, my feet on the floor. He cupped my cheek and bent his head. I accepted the kiss, savored it, simply grateful for the pleasant rush it gave me, with no trace of the earlier pain. On the floor beside me, all the hounds perked up and began to hum softly as if purring in contentment.
Bodhi cleared his throat and we parted. He stood in the open door with Rohan behind him. “Can you go over there somewhere?” He gestured to Keagan, directing him in the vague direction of the bedroom at the other end of the suite.
Keagan nodded and gave me one last peck on the lips before rising and walking to the far side of the room opposite where Rohan stood.
My beautiful golden dragon looked anxious when he approached. He’d also clothed himself again in faded jeans and a white t-shirt. I braced myself as he drew near, then relaxed when he settled down in front of me where Keagan had been, his hands coming to rest lightly on my thighs.
“It doesn’t hurt,” I said, sighing in relief. “It doesn’t hurt when I’m with either of you.” I looked over at Keagan who still didn’t seem convinced.
“Good,” Bodhi said. “We’ve at least established that. Deva, close your eyes and let us know when you start to feel something. Keagan, come closer.”
I did as Bodhi asked and sat with a death grip on Rohan’s hands. I could hear Keagan’s breathing, quick and filled with uncertainty. His footsteps came slowly across the floor. After only a few steps, the first twinge spiked and I hissed, pressing one hand to my midsection.
“Stop there,” Bodhi said. He stepped in close and tapped Rohan’s shoulder. “Your turn.”
Rohan silently obeyed, retreating to the bedroom door he’d come through
earlier. Keagan came back to sit in his place, I closed my eyes, and we repeated the experiment. Just as before, Rohan made it a few steps toward us before the first twinge of pain hit.
Bodhi let out a sigh and sank down onto the sofa beside me, elbows resting on his knees. “Well, guys, I have good news and bad news. It looks like you both can touch her, just not at the same time. And when one of you is with her the other’s got to stay at least six feet away or she starts to hurt.”
“Fuck,” Keagan said. Beside him, Jewel whined softly, a strangely melodic sound that reminded me of a clarinet. Blaze stood and joined us, nuzzling Bodhi’s hand with his ethereal snout. Bodhi absently petted the fate hound, stroking its ruff as if it were a solid creature. I was too distraught to comment on the surreal nature of the interaction.
Rohan exhaled, his aura tinged with both relief and frustration, a mirror to Keagan’s. “So we have to take turns being with her. Not ideal but we can make it work, right?”
I shot him an apologetic smile. “We can make it work,” I repeated, mostly trying to convince myself that we could. I turned to Bodhi. “Thank you for that.”
“Anytime, angel,” he said, reaching out and giving my hand a squeeze.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the moment he touched me, the pain of Rohan’s proximity completely disappeared. Even more confusing was that I’d felt this discomfort before today, only Ozzie had been the cause.
16
Ozzie
“We found them. They were under attack when we arrived. I sent the hound off with a message for its master. Don’t come. We’re driving Bodhi’s truck back tomorrow. We will meet you at home.”
Deva’s message from a few hours earlier kept replaying through my mind. “Don’t come,” she’d said, which left me with an odd emptiness. When I’d relayed the message to Llyr it had provoked a broodiness even darker than I’d seen in him since his arrival. I should have felt gratified by his disappointment, yet despite his manipulative nature, we were in this together so I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it.
Of course, if I were being honest with myself, Llyr’s predicament was almost entirely my doing. Okay, maybe that gave me a sense of grim satisfaction, but I’d never admit as much to him. It was my carefully concealed lie that had caused Deva to keep Llyr at arm’s length, and was likely the biggest reason she didn’t want us to come to San Francisco. She’d found Keagan and Bodhi, and for all I knew was in the process of sealing their fates with hers. No wonder she didn’t want either of us there—the man who refused to let her close and the one she rejected over a lie he hadn’t told.
“You ready?” Llyr asked.
We’d halted our search in San Diego, atop one of the tall buildings overlooking the harbor. Sandor wasn’t responding to my whispered messages, so I had to just trust that the wind had reached him wherever he was, and he and Willem would meet us back home. They’d gone inland and the last message I’d received from Sandor said they’d tracked a hound to Tahoe and were on its tail in case it led them to our boys.
“Yeah, let’s get back.” I took Llyr’s proffered hand but before I could even brace myself for the drift, we were yanked into the swirling maelstrom of whatever force the nymphaea used to travel long distances.
Fuck, I hated this part.
I landed on my hands and knees, stomach clenching and vertigo making the world tilt around me. Beneath my hands was the familiar warm stone of my patio in Malibu, the sensation grounding me just enough to keep the contents of my stomach firmly in place. When I finally stood after a few minutes, Llyr was gone, but I caught a glimpse of him through the glass doors to Keagan’s room, probably hunting for clothes to keep his thin-skinned ass warm.
There was a small chance the satyr was throwing a jealous tantrum in there, but I doubted he’d go that far. He seemed as resigned as I was to our status with Deva. Of the five of us, his history with her went back the furthest so I had no doubt his feelings ran deep. Whether they were deeper than mine, I couldn’t speculate. I’d watched her grow up, but he’d been linked to her since before she was even born.
I grunted to myself and flopped down into one of the wooden Adirondack chairs, too exhausted to go any farther. Maybe we were just a couple of creepy old pervs who couldn’t get Deva’s sweetness out of our systems. I had no doubt our mutual need for her was as physical as it was emotional, especially after that night in the studio when he’d sucked me off while shifted into a perfect replica of her.
Fucking hell, I did not need that image in my head again.
He pushed through Keagan’s door, coming back outside, clad now in a pair of Keagan’s old jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt that likely had the Fate’s Fools logo on the back. He stopped short when his gaze dropped to my crotch. The brooding look faded just enough for an interested smirk. “Want another go to kill time?” he asked. “I can be any woman you want.”
The breeze caught his thick, black waves and tangled in them like invisible fingers. My own fingers tingled in sympathetic communion. He slinked toward me, and it wasn’t until he got close that it registered how very naked I still was and that my fucking traitorous cock was hard as a goddamn rock.
“I don’t even look like her and you’re hard,” he commented. “Maybe you’re done with women?” He’d stopped about a foot away, thumbs hooked into his pockets. He gave my dick an amused glance.
I sneered at him. I was too fucking tired for his bullshit. “I guess it’s just the thought of you on your knees that appeals to me.”
He surprised me by slowly sinking down to kneel in front of me. “Like this? I’m game to play if you want. Anything to get my mind off her.” For the first time I caught the hint of desperation in his voice and knew his behavior had nothing to do with tormenting me and everything to do with forgetting her.
“We’re fucking pathetic, you know that right?” I rested my hands on the arms of the chair, relieved that my hard-on finally decided to ease up enough for me to think straight.
Llyr’s shoulders sagged and he rested back on his heels, arms hanging limp at his sides. “Man, you have no fucking idea.” His brows twitched, and he added, “Actually, you probably do. Why don’t you take this time to enlighten me on what you did to her? I’ve been over and over it in my head since we left LA the other night. I just can’t fathom why you’d fuck her and make her forget if she’s your One. She deserves the truth, whatever it is.”
The subtext to his little speech was as clear as day: “I deserve a chance to prove she can trust me.”
But I couldn’t tell Deva the truth without endangering her. The piece of my soul she carried was dormant, and needed to stay that way, our soul bond hidden. Unless we mated, it would remain so—unrequited, but also hopefully invisible to Fate’s vengeful sight. Her strange aversion to me that had appeared out of the blue the day before had been troubling but was ultimately a blessing.
I would do everything I could to keep her safe, ensure her happiness. Everything but consummate that bond. But my secret weighed heavily. Llyr’s unwavering partnership had earned him some honesty, hadn’t it?
“If I tell you, you need to promise not to tell her, even if it’s the only way to make her trust you again.” Fuck, what the hell was I thinking? There was no way in hell he’d keep this secret. He wanted her too much.
Llyr frowned, his jaw twitching with tension. I hoped he’d say no but I knew better. Now that I’d made the offer there was no taking it back.
He slowly shook his head. “You don’t trust me enough to tell me, yet you make that offer. Are you really that desperate to share the burden?”
I exhaled sharply through my nose. The fucker was still in my head three days after seducing me into a half-meld and tasting my essence. “Fucking forget it, asshole.” I rose and strode past him into the house, my neck burning with humiliation. Nobody got into my head that deeply. Not even Deva.
I fell onto my bed, the last two days of no sleep catching up to me. But the second I closed my
eyes, I was inundated with images from that night more than a year ago. The night I’d taken Deva away from the war and the seeking mind and magic of Meri who would have turned Deva into her own personal, permanent flesh suit if we hadn’t intervened.
I didn’t know all the details of Meri’s history—the nymphaea and the dragons were really fucking cagey about a lot of it—but the gist was that Meri had once been a Thiasoi like Llyr. One of the dozen nymphaea soldiers who protected the Haven. She’d somehow become corrupt—popular opinion was that she’d been rejected by a lover and sought revenge, but her craving had morphed into an all-out hunger for power and immortality.
At one point in my life, I’d blamed one particular dragon for all the torment wrought by our enemy on the higher races. One dragon and Deva’s father, who had loved that dragon. Belah Blue was her name and Nikhil’s love for her had all but destroyed our kind. History could be twisted so easily, misshapen until the truth wasn’t recognizable anymore. I knew enough of it now to trust both Nikhil and Belah, even though I knew better than to get on their bad sides. But everything I’d done from the very beginning of my relationship with Deva had been for her alone, and I believed that had to count for something.
Protecting her from Meri had come first. Our true enemy, the psychotic nymph, had experimented on our kind for thousands of years with a singular goal. She’d failed over and over at creating an immortal vessel for her own spirit, at least until Deva came along. But the higher races managed to steal Deva away at the end, and once learning her importance to our enemy, we did everything in our power to protect her.
While everyone else went to fight that final war against Meri and her Ultiori puppets—and ultimately win—I offered to be Deva’s chaperone into the realm of the gods, the only place where Meri’s mind and magic couldn’t reach her.
Fate's Fools Box Set Page 48
