“We’re heading back to our room, kiddo,” Iszak said, pulling me out of my maelstrom of regrets. “Everything will arrive at dawn. I’m sure if Belah learns anything in the meantime, she’ll tell you. Sandor’s one of ours. Fate can be a cruel bitch, but she hasn’t pulled anything this bad in my lifetime. Something has to give, so you can bet we’re going to keep working on finding him.”
“Thank you, Papa Iszak,” I said, accepting his warm, strong hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and when he released me, I found myself pulled into his brother’s arms.
Lukas squeezed me tight. “Don’t let your dad scare you away from getting what you want, Deva. These are all good guys who I’d trust with my life. If you want all of them, go for it. We can handle Nik.”
Not that he’d need to trust anyone with his life. The glowing blue dragon mark on the side of his neck told the world he belonged to an immortal dragon. He couldn’t die unless Belah herself took his life with her fire.
The thought thrummed inside me as they departed. Had my power just rendered Rohan and Keagan immortal too? Or did I need all my power before that could happen?
4
Deva
Everyone’s eyes were on me once Iszak and Lukas left, the door clicking softly shut behind them. These five men whose lives had somehow become irrevocably entwined with mine all wanted me to tell them what to do.
Exhaustion from the weight of that burden sank into me. We’d agreed that leaving tonight was a bad plan, so barring that, my first impulse was to retreat back into Bodhi’s arms. I felt balanced when he touched me, even though he wasn’t technically mine and could never really be mine without it destroying him. Something about his easy acceptance made me gravitate to him for comfort now that everything had been turned upside-down.
Keagan was too demanding, his very demeanor filled with the expectation of action. Despite his claims of being a rebellious Sundance, I could tell he wanted me to call the shots in the relationship, and it was all just too new for me to have the hang of it yet.
Rohan I adored. He was the embodiment of happiness, except when I wasn’t happy. His empathetic nature reflected my emotions back at me like a perfect mirror. Though he was capable of shifting that flow of emotion to lift mine rather than let himself be dragged down, at the outset, he felt every raw feeling of mine. My weariness and fear showed in his eyes now, and I would have gone to him to comfort him if he and Keagan weren’t sitting side-by-side, and I wasn’t about to drag Bodhi over just so I could be close to them.
I let out a weary sigh. “Can I take a break from any more decision-making tonight? All I know is that I don’t want to sleep alone, but I don’t want to have to choose between you guys. Keagan and Rohan can’t both be with me. Is it too much to ask that the five of you work it out between you? I promise, I’m fine with whatever you decide.”
I locked eyes with Llyr for a moment, then Ozzie. Despite the deep hurt I felt looking at either of them, they were the ones who made me feel safest.
“You got it, princess,” Keagan said, ever the accommodating ursa now that he no longer had a chip on his shoulder. “Go on to bed. We’ll figure it out.”
I smiled with gratitude and shot one last look through the doorway where Maddie had gone with Willem. They sat side-by-side on the big bed, huddled together. Maddie’s hand rested lightly on the back of Willem’s head where he sat bowed over, hunched into himself. It would have been so much simpler if the hounds had chosen Willem for her, but at the same time, I doubted Willem would have been in any way comforted. I’d seen him and Sandor together. They’d been mated in all but name for centuries. That wasn’t something they could easily let go of.
Slipping into the other bedroom, I left the door open, retreating farther into the big, marble-tiled bathroom and closing the door behind me. The bathroom was a replica of the one on the opposite side of the suite where Keagan and I had showered earlier in the day. It had the same enormous, glassed-in shower and a Jacuzzi set into marble on one side, with a low step up into it and encompassed by wide ledges. I’d simply wanted to clean up before bed, but the idea of soaking in a hot bath appealed to me more.
The ledge behind the tub was littered with a row of new, unburned candles along with an assortment of containers filled with colored salts and soaps. At the end of the tub was a mesh basket with fluffy white cloths and towels. I let my conjured outfit dissolve away as I climbed up and sat on the edge of the big tub, turning on the tap and waiting for the water to become steaming hot. Then I dangled my feet in as it began to fill.
With the barest thought, I commanded fire into being atop each of the candles. The act was effortless now, whereas before that little trick would have burned a good chunk of my reserves. I hadn’t had the sense of empty, aching hunger signaling a diminishing supply of magic since Rohan and I had marked each other, despite shifting and flying for several hours, followed by healing Keagan. Making love to and marking my beloved ursa mate had only increased my capacity, though I hadn’t had time to fully top off while with him. One round of lovemaking with Keagan apparently wasn’t enough to fill me up any more than it had been when we’d worked together to keep Rohan from going feral.
It wasn’t until later, when that strange, primal need had taken hold of me after Llyr’s kiss and all four of them had shared me, that I finally felt sated. Whether that was simply a product of my increasing need for power along with my ability to command the magic, I wasn’t sure. Llyr’s explanation was the best answer I had—my nymphaea nature responded to him now that I had an ursa soul.
It seemed counterintuitive at first, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Earth and water were simpatico, as were fire and air. Of the four, the powers of the ursa and nymphaea were linked more closely to their primal nature. They were wild, primitive, instinct-oriented creatures, while the dragons and turul were more self-aware in their true forms.
The wildness of my ursa nature awakening must have sparked a need in my still-dormant nymphaea aspect, triggering carnal stirrings that had threatened to throw me into estrous if they weren’t sated.
I couldn’t let that happen, even with a pair of proper mates. I still had no idea how powerful I would be, and an ursa estrous brought with it incredible amounts of power requiring at least two male partners to channel, or a seriously powerful spell to spend it on. Otherwise, the energy—if left uncontrolled—could consume me. While that wouldn’t kill me, it could hurt anyone who happened to be in close proximity.
The five males weren’t all mine, and I wasn’t sure if, unmated, the others would be enough to deal with whatever energy built up were I to hit estrous. Just that brief loss of control was enough to humble me, because despite my better judgment, I’d been ready to mate Llyr then and there. If he hadn’t held back, I may have done it without thinking.
I reminded myself to thank him again for that when we had a moment alone. The fact that he’d accepted the credit for allowing Keagan and Ro to make love to me at the same time spoke volumes too, and now that I’d learned what my power could do to Bodhi, I was even more grateful the others didn’t know how Llyr factored in.
Belah’s warning lingered at the back of my mind. I’d never known my father without the glowing bands at his wrists and around his neck. Those marks were the shackles binding him to her. Sometimes it wasn’t clear who held the real power, but if what Belah said was true, and if her oh-so-subtle dismissal of my father tonight was any indication, she still had serious sway over his will. Whether that was magical or simply born of love and mutual respect, I wasn’t sure. Their relationship was an enigma, though the strength of their soul bond was blindingly bright.
Perhaps the inability to merge my powers would give me time to understand them better individually.
As the tub continued to fill, I held out my hand, palm up, and let my fingertips sprout into leafy twigs. Impulsively, I waved my hand and fragrant flower petals floated out of thin air, landing on the surface of the water.
I smiled at the pretty mix of colors and slipped into the tub, swirling the petals into twisting patterns until the water reached my neck. Then I hit the lever to turn off the flow.
With a sigh, I sank back against the contoured side and let my body float beneath the surface. I turned my attention inward to the flow of energy through my veins and the strange mix of magic within, more potent than what I’d had access to before mating Rohan and Keagan. It was stronger when I was near one of my mates, and I could only imagine how strong it would become if I could mix the two together, or like Ozzie had suggested, draw on one source to power the spells of another, like channeling the Earth to supply a fresh dose of power to a dragon who was depleted and on the verge of madness.
I was so deep within my own thoughts that when I heard my name, I jerked and sat up, heart racing.
“Sorry, angel. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Bodhi.” I relaxed again with a sigh, settling beneath the water once more. I smiled up at him where he was crouched at the edge of the tub, barefoot and in a pair of jeans and a plain white T-shirt that offset the colorful ink covering his arms. “Did you guys decide?”
“I think so. We wanted to give you veto rights, so I came to pass it by you first.”
“Did you draw straws, or what?” I asked.
He smiled. “Nothing as random as that. We counted the available sleeping options in the suite and broke it down by need. Llyr says he doesn’t sleep, so he’ll be standing guard with the hounds. Ro and Oz are going to share the sofa bed. Apparently, Mom and Willem have already claimed the other bedroom, though I really don’t want to dwell too much on that right now.”
“That means I get you and Keagan.” I gave him a half-smile, some of the tension in me easing now that I knew Llyr was on guard duty. “How did he and Ro decide which of them would sleep with me?” I didn’t really need to ask why Ozzie hadn’t been in the running. I’d expected him to bow out anyway, which stung.
“Because Ozzie flat-out refused to share a bed with Keagan. Said he snores like a bear.”
I giggled. “Of course he does.”
“Nah, actually, he slept like a baby the other night. And last night, we didn’t exactly get time to sleep. But you tell me, angel. You knocked us out pretty good earlier. Did you hear him make a sound while he was unconscious?”
“You were all as silent as the grave, but I think Llyr had more to do with that than any propensity for snoring.”
Bodhi frowned. “About that . . . what you said earlier about the meld . . . could he be fucking with my head? My feelings? Because I distinctly remember licking his cum off your tits and loving it. If he can mind-control me from that, how do I trust anything I’m feeling?”
His gaze lingered on my breasts and he licked his lips, the sight of his pink tongue sending a pleasant wave of warmth cresting deep in my belly before it settled between my thighs.
“You can trust him,” I said.
“I believe you, but you still didn’t answer my question.”
“Yes and no. First, it’s his eyes you have to watch. They’re more dangerous than his essence. And second, you’d need to exchange blood with him for him to get into your head deep enough to control your thoughts and feelings or actions. He encouraged the sharing as a precaution. Being melded with the three of you just means he can see through your eyes if he needs to, but you’d know he was there. He’s honorable; he’d ask first.”
He gave me a dubious look. “You mean the way he ‘asked’ before doing it in the first place? I have a feeling that guy cuts a lot of corners where you’re concerned, but if it’s to protect you, I can deal with it for now. If you trust him, so do I, especially after whatever he did to let you be with Ro and Keagan at the same time. Not that watching you three wasn’t mind-blowingly hot, but it looked like you needed that.”
I darted my gaze to the candles and sank a little deeper into the water. “I did,” I murmured, a little ashamed at letting the lie persist. I’d only intended to wait until he was ready to be with me before I told him the truth, but it would be too hurtful to both of us to share that detail now if we couldn’t act on it.
He idly dipped his hand in the water then jerked it back with a hiss. “Jesus Christ! This is practically boiling. How the hell are you not blistering up in there?”
“It’s perfect. Dragons have a pretty high tolerance for extreme temperatures. My mother’s on fire half the time, but I can still hug her. Here, let me see your hand.”
He stretched his hand out and I rose from the water and took it, blowing an iridescent breath over the reddened skin. I kept hold of him, comforted by the contact, and he didn’t seem inclined to release me either. If I could hold onto him forever, I would, but his soul was still damaged and the effects of those scars would catch up to him eventually. I’d have to convince him to let go of me, let me find him someone who could make him whole again. Until then, was it selfish to want to keep him close?
“I have a feeling you mean that literally—that your mom is on fire. I take it you aren’t referring to Belah?” he asked, turning our hands over and caressing my damp knuckles with his thumb.
“No, my biological mother, Neela. She’s a phoenix.”
Bodhi’s mouth dropped open. “No shit? So are you part phoenix?” His gaze tracked down my breasts above the water, his pupils dilating. It was another effect of satyr essence, but I didn’t have the strength to fend off those feelings, especially since I was just as drunk on Llyr as Bodhi was, even hours after tasting him.
“It’s kind of a long story,” I said, settling back into the heat. “But the short version is that she was mostly human when I was conceived. She didn’t change until after Meri captured her and killed her. In his grief, her soul mate, Zorion, breathed dragon fire into her blood. He was a little too overzealous and wound up burning her to ash, but somehow she didn’t die. Instead his fire resurrected her and made her what she is now—a mom you either need to be a dragon or have fire-proof skin to hug. I’m lucky I have the heat tolerance of a dragon, because her hugs are the best.”
Bodhi chuckled, his eyes lighting up. “Yeah, my mom’s hugs are pretty amazing too.” He darted a glance at the closed door, his expression growing troubled. “Should we worry about her and Willem? He’s pretty messed up, and that kind of desperation can lead to . . . things. Would he cheat on Sandor? Does he even like women?”
I swirled my hands through the water, injecting magic into it to try to cool it off. I wanted him naked and in here with me.
“He’s a dragon,” I said.
“You guys act like that explanation should make sense, but I still don’t get it. My aunt Mel is bi, but she’s married to a woman. The fact that she’s enjoyed men in the past isn’t an excuse to go fuck one now. She made a commitment.”
“Dragons are—”
“Different. I know.” He scowled and stared down at the surface of the water. I felt him drift away from me a little. Eventually, he lifted his gaze back to mine and gave me a sideways smile.
“Sorry, I’m still trying. Sex is one thing. It’s a fun adventure, and watching you come never gets old, even if I’m not the one giving you the orgasms. But love . . . that means more, you know? Once love comes into the mix, everything changes.”
His expression was serious, but I didn’t have the strength now to examine his meaning. I wanted a distraction and knew he could be as distracting as he was complicated.
“Well, I would love it if you’d take off your clothes and get in with me,” I said.
He lifted an eyebrow. “You seriously think I’ve got the endurance to even dip a toe into that scalding shit with you?”
“I cooled it off. Please?”
He tentatively dipped his fingers back into the water. “That’s more like it.”
5
Deva
Bodhi rose and stripped, the colorful ink on his chest and arms even more beautiful in the golden candlelight. The heat was getting to me, making me lethargic and
relaxed, and I let out a soft sigh when he sat back down on the ledge at the other end of the tub, swiping his hand through the water once more.
He glanced at me and smiled, tilting his head and causing a thick strand of hair to fall across his cheek, obscuring one eye. “What was that sigh for?”
“I like looking at you. You’re different from the others. Your tattoos are like a story. Will you tell it to me someday?”
Dipping one foot in, he seemed to concentrate for a moment allowing his other foot to join it. At length, he sank into the water across from me with a groan.
“Someday, maybe after I know Mom’s going to be okay.” He slipped in deeper until his shoulders were beneath the surface, head resting on the edge of the tub. The water lapped at the hollow of his throat, the warm glow around us highlighting musical clef tattooed there. He closed his eyes, and with a soft exhalation, his body gradually relaxed.
“There’s more to sex for our kind than physical release and intimacy,” I said after a moment. Bodhi’s eyelids cracked open and his aura brightened, making it clear that despite his relaxed state, his attention was fully on me. “It’s about survival for almost all of us, in some way or another. There’s no question that Willem and Sandor are committed to each other. They’ve been together for centuries. But they aren’t soul mates, and they know it.”
Bodhi lifted his head to look at me. He licked dewy condensation off his lips and nodded for me to continue.
Fate's Fools Box Set Page 58
