Bruce unfreezes first. “Hey, Cooper! What’d you get?” His voice is casual, but as I look over, I can see that he’s carefully examining both mine and Cooper’s reactions from behind the refrigerator door.
This is bad. Unbelievably so.
Mitigate. Mediate. Deescalate.
“Hey, honey! Yeah, what’d you get?” I echo, knowing my voice is too high-pitched.
Cooper’s looking from me to Bruce, though. He’s a smart kid, which scares the bejesus out of me right about now, especially given the question he asked before my date. “Did you come over for breakfast, Coach B? Uh, why don’t you guys have clothes on?”
Michelle comes in right then. “Oh! Shit! He’s quick, got out of the car and was running before I even got it in park,” she says apologetically. “Allyson, Cooper got you something . . .” She tilts her head, urgently pointing with her thumb like she’s trying to give me a topic to address other than the near-naked state Bruce and I are in.
I give Michelle a ‘duh’ look because I obviously already tried that, but I try again. “What’d you get, Cooper?”
I guess the third time’s the charm because he blinks and brings his hand out from behind his back to show me a teddy bear. It’s pale blonde and fluffy with a heart on the white belly. “I won a bear for you.”
“Oh, my gosh! It’s adorable!” I squeal, dropping to my knees beside him. I hug him, turning him slightly so he’s not waist-level with Bruce. “Thank you so much. Have you named him yet?”
Cooper smiles, giving me a slight reprieve from the horror of being busted. “Not yet. I thought we could name him together. I got the lightest one they had so he’d match your room.”
Tears pop to my eyes. “That’s . . . that’s so sweet, honey. Thank you.” I hug him again, but the moment’s gone as far as he’s concerned because he’s doing that infamous kid shrug-cringe combo to let me know I’m overdoing it on the affection.
“Want me to put him on your bed?” Cooper asks innocently.
“NO!” My voice is too loud, too sharp, but I cannot have Cooper going in there when the bed is still mussed from Bruce and me having sex, last night and again this morning. I’ll need to wash the sheets or at least make the bed before he goes in there. That’s normal, right? I make a mental note to read up on that.
I adjust my voice to a more normal manner of speaking, correcting myself. “I mean, let’s just set him right here on the counter while we eat breakfast, okay?” He nods and points to a place by the coffee pot.
Bruce clears his throat, his back going straight. “Uhm, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a leak.”
I blink, not used to the crassness, but I guess it’s better than saying he’s going to go get dressed. I definitely don’t want to call any more attention to our lack of clothing.
He steps toward the doorway, but Michelle doesn’t move, instead daringly staying right in his way. Bruce looks down at her, one brow raised, and greets her with a cocky smirk. “G’morning, Michelle.”
“It is a rather lovely morning, Coach B. Even with the chill from the fridge, a quite lovely morning indeed.” She’s fighting back laughter, and I swear Bruce turns the faintest shade of pink, but to his credit, he doesn’t slink away down the hall.
No, he damn near struts like a peacock. He’s got the right to because Michelle’s not wrong. even with the cold of the fridge shrinking things, Bruce is well-endowed enough that those boxer briefs don’t hide much.
Michelle’s eyes follow him, even going so far as to lean back so she can catch one more glimpse. “Hey!” I snap.
She looks back at me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as she mouths Huuuuge. Pervert.
Cooper’s voice interrupts the talking to I want to give Michelle. He’s trying to drop it down lower than his little boy tenor, quoting near-verbatim. “Excuse me, Mom. I’m gonna take a leak.”
And with that, he runs off down the hall.
I freeze, and then slowly, my head turns to find Michelle’s mouth hanging open too. Then we both burst into giggles.
“If he teaches Liam that, I’m blaming you,” she says through her laughter. And then her eyes go wide and she grabs my shoulders, shaking me. “Oh, my God, Allyson! I texted you like thirty minutes ago so you’d be ready in case you had company. Guess you were too busy to see the message?”
I think I may have to get a new phone because I never heard it make a peep. No text message alert, not even a buzz. Once is a glitch. Twice is a problem.
“I never got it. This is bad, isn’t it? I mean, Cooper’s probably scarred for life and I’m going to get the Worst Mom award. I think the only thing worse than your kid walking in on your mostly-naked morning-after would be his walking in on your actually having sex.”
I’m panicking, verging on hysterical. But I’ve never done this, never even thought about doing this, and have not read the handbook on introducing your kid to a new guy. But I’m sure it recommends not doing it with the guy in his underwear and you in his shirt.
“He’s fine, or he will be. Just talk to him. He didn’t care at all that you were going on a date. Allyson, remember that he’s got friends whose parents are married, divorced, and dating. Kids are flexible and accepting. If you don’t treat it like a big deal, he won’t either.” She seems pretty sure of herself and it’s helping me calm down.
I nod. “Okay, that sounds good. Kids are flexible,” I parrot, engaging the fake it ‘til you make it methodology. “Act like it’s no big deal.”
She nudges my elbow, asking the million-dollar question. “It is, though, isn’t it? A big deal? Inquiring minds want to know.” She looks so hopeful, her hands folded beneath her chin, begging for details.
I take a big breath, knowing that saying the words to her will make it so. It’s the truth, but admitting it is major, especially when it’s all so fresh and new. I’m not even sure what label I’m slapping on this, but it’s more than I thought it’d be. “It’s a big deal,” I say on a blissed-out sigh. “And not just his dick, which I don’t appreciate your staring at,” I admonish her. Even to my ears, I sound possessive. I might as well be grunting ‘don’t look—mine, mine, mine.’
She doesn’t look the least bit remorseful. “Like you wouldn’t have looked.” She leans back, checking down the hall. “Do you want me to take Cooper for a bit longer? I can if you need me to, but just for a little bit. I got called into work and Liam’s already at the sitter’s house.”
I shake my head, wishing I could have a few more minutes in this fantasy with Bruce but knowing it’s time to face reality. “It’s fine. Go to work and I’ll handle this . . .” I wave my hands around, indicating the now cold eggs and the two guys down the hall. “I have no idea how, but I’ll manage.”
She kisses my cheek, gleefully dancing around a bit with a silent squeal of delight, and then the door closes behind her. I turn to the stove, splitting the two servings of eggs into three and putting them in the microwave. It’s not the best way to eat them, but I suspect breakfast is going to be awkward enough that I won’t taste them anyway.
I set the three plates on the table and then realize it’s presumptuous. Maybe Bruce won’t want to stay? He might want to get the hell out of here after getting caught unaware this morning. Or maybe I should have him go so I can do this on my own? I don’t know if that’s the right thing, either.
The decision’s made for me, though, when both Bruce and Cooper come back into the kitchen together, both in jeans. At least everyone’s dressed now. Well, I’m not, but I can pretend this is a regular nightgown. It’s certainly long enough, reaching halfway down my thighs. “Breakfast is served.”
As they sit down, I look between them. Do I deal with Cooper or Bruce first? I mean, obviously, Cooper is my priority, my number-one always, but what do I even say to him when I don’t have any real clarity from Bruce?
As my mind races, they both look cool as cucumbers, though. Dare I say zero fucks given? Well, about Bruce. I wouldn’t cuss, not even in
my head, about Cooper. But he does seem fine.
“Where’d you get the bear, Cooper?” Bruce asks, shoving an entire slice of bacon in his mouth.
Cooper grabs one too. “Ms. Michelle took Liam and me to the arcade and I played skee-ball. I got four 462 tickets. The bear was 450 so I had plenty.” He sounds so proud of himself, which makes me inordinately happy too.
My mom mode kicks in, glad for the distraction from the elephant in the room. “So 462 tickets minus the 450 for the bear left you with how many?”
He quickly does the math in his head, his fingers not moving at all, and answers, “Twelve. Come on, Mom, that’s too easy.”
His sass is strong, letting me know how easy that was for him. He’s getting so big. But is he mature enough to handle this thing between Bruce and me? Am I?
“Thank you again, honey. That really was so sweet.” He smiles at me and then looks over to Bruce for approval too. Bruce smiles and even winks at him, so fast I think I imagined it. It’s only the glow on Cooper’s face that lets me know it was real.
Cooper looks up to Bruce so much, as a coach and as a role model. Admittedly, there’s a tiny sliver of me that feels left out of that, but I know this is one of the reasons I signed Cooper up for football in the first place. He needs that positive male presence in his life, even as I try to be everything he needs.
And Bruce . . . a boy could do a lot worse, and not much better, in having him as a role model.
“So, are you two like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” Cooper asks as he carefully spreads jelly on his toast.
I’m glad Cooper’s eyes are on his task so he doesn’t see my gaze lock with Bruce’s across the table. He smirks, popping his brows like he’s interested in the answer to that question himself.
“Well . . . you know how I told you that Bruce and I were going on a date yesterday?” Cooper nods, licking sticky grapey goodness from his fingers. “We’d like to do that again, maybe have dinners and hang out together, all three of us too. How’s that sound?”
Did I do that right?
Shit, I wish I’d had time to read this chapter in the parenting books. Not that I had time to read any of those. I’ve been winging this gig since day one, but so far, that’s worked mostly okay.
Cooper finishes his jelly spreading and his head swivels left and right, from me to Bruce. I feel like I’m awaiting a judge’s verdict on a major case, but this is way more important. He shrugs. “M’kay.”
That’s it.
It’s a bit anticlimactic. No drama, no muss, no fuss, no tears. He’s better about this than I am.
Bruce smiles and reaches across the table to take my hand, soothing my nerves with his touch and silently telling me that I did well. It feels like a major step . . . for me, for us, even for the three of us.
Holy shit. I’m dating Bruce Tannen.
The pleasant soreness between my thighs says I’m doing a hell of a lot more than that, but my decision to slap a label on it is even more important than what we did last night. This is me moving on . . . finally.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Bruce says, crunching another slice of bacon.
“It’s Sunday, so it’s ‘bless this house’ day. All cleaning and grocery shopping. Ugh.” Cooper groans as he rolls his eyes.
I laugh, even though he’s right. That is our routine so we can start the week fresh and prepared. “Maybe we could do something a little different today, just this once.”
Bruce shakes his head. “No way. If that’s what you do on Sundays, then point me to the vacuum. I can make some mean lines in the rug, just like driving a tractor through the fields.”
I shouldn’t be surprised that Bruce is willing to clean with us, but it warms me that he’s comfortable doing such mundane things with us. It makes it feel more real, more like . . . family.
I search my body for those telltale signs of panic but find none. No tension in my muscles, no clenching in my jaw, no bees buzzing in my chest. I just feel . . . good. Such a bland word, but the feeling is powerful.
“Chore day it is,” I tell them with a smile.
Chapter 23
Bruce
It’s somehow been the longest and the shortest week of my life all at the same time.
As far as planning a campout, I could use another couple of days. We’re not doing anything too fancy, but I want it to go well and have spent some time dragging logs up to a clearing so we’ll have a place to sit around the campfire pit I dug up.
On the other hand, the week’s dragged on because I haven’t had a single real moment alone with Allyson.
By the time I got home on Sunday afternoon, Bobby was running at near-Brody levels of grunts, obviously mad at me because he knew my absence could only be because of one person. I ignored him for the most part, too happy to let him bring me down with his cynicism.
Happy? I’m this close to belting out in song, and my voice is worse than shit. Bobby got one hundred percent of that talent in our family, though I might beat that gift out of him if he doesn’t quit glaring at me every chance he gets.
He kept up the pissy mood on Monday too, even as I smiled ear to ear while I worked, looking forward to every ding of my phone and praying that Allyson got every text I sent on her piece of shit phone. We’ve spent hours talking on the phone at night, about the past and present, and even carefully about the future, until we both have to hang up, knowing our morning alarms will go off early.
Tuesday, I’d called her on the way to the practice field to be sure she was coming. Not because I thought she’d gotten cold feet—she seems to be done dancing away from me now—but she’d had a busy day at work and I’d wanted to be sure something hadn’t come up that’d keep her stuck there. She’d said I was being sweet while I felt like a possessive fucker who just needed to lay hands on her.
But she’d shown. With a smile for the boys and another more meaningful and private smile for me.
After Tuesday’s practice, the three of us had gone to the grocery store because we never got around to it on Sunday. For such a mundane outing, we’d actually had fun, giggling as Cooper had tried to worm his way into something sweet on every single aisle, even in the produce section where he found some caramel dip he wanted for the apples he’d already agreed to. We’d escaped with minimal sweets when I reminded him to ‘whoa’ on the sugar while managing to buy hamburger buns and hot dogs fixings in preparation for the campout.
Allyson had left me at the back door that night, though, because Cooper needed to eat, bathe, and hit the hay. It’d been hard to leave, but I understood. Still, when she’d sent him to get cleaned up, I’d made the most of the few minutes we had alone and kissed every inch of her mouth right there in the doorway of her kitchen. If I’d gotten one step further in the house, I would’ve leaned her over the table and had her coming on my tongue before Cooper could get his hair washed, but she’d gently pushed me back, saying she didn’t want him to walk in on us.
I respect that. She’s responsible and caring, things I can appreciate. But fuck, do I want to sweep her away for a little bit.
Thursday, we’d at least gotten a family dinner in before Cooper’s early bedtime had kicked in. Al said she’s trying to start inching him back to his school-time bedtime from his later summer hours. All I knew was that it meant we had an extra half-hour alone before I needed to head home for the sunrise chores.
We’d made the most of it, waiting impatiently until Cooper had sufficient time to fall asleep and then escaping to the back deck. I’d hoped that once I was in her house again, I’d be inside her in no time, but it seemed the devil-may-care attitudes of our younger days had grown up slightly because I’d held back from taking her out in the open where the neighbors could see. That doesn’t mean we didn’t make out like high school kids again, kissing and grinding and squeezing each other, but our clothes had tragically stayed on.
I jacked off twice when I got home, once when I took a shower and then later, to my delight, on FaceTi
me with Allyson. She said she’d never done anything like that, and I could tell she was nervous, hiding out in her bathroom and biting her lip to be quiet even as she wanted me to talk to her. But she’d done it for me, for herself. She was so fucking beautiful coming on her own fingers. I just wished they’d been mine.
But somehow, we’ve made it to the big day. Campout day, just this morning’s practice to go.
The boys deserve this for how hard they’ve been working. They’re doing great, really coming together as a team, running plays like a well-oiled machine, and we’re ready for our first game.
As the boys high-five after their successful play, my eyes are drawn to Allyson again. It’s all I can do to root myself to the grass and not take her in my arms. Now that I’ve held her, tasted her, possessed her, I want to live inside her, learn her every nuance, and tease out every smile I possibly can.
Finally, we do our team cheer, and I make a waving motion to gather the parents over. I move the group closer to Killian’s grandparents so they don’t have to walk too far onto the uneven grass, and we progress to the planning part of the practice.
Allyson addresses the gathered parents. “Thank you again for signing up to help with the campout. I know the boys are really looking forward to it.” The boys find renewed energy, dancing around a bit beside their parents, and I hear one oh, yeah of agreement. Allyson smiles, looking down at Cooper.
I continue her speech, heading off an issue I know Mom would’ve had with me and my brothers. “Showers between practice and camping are required. We’re gonna get messy and muddy and end up smelling like the animals at the farm, but we should all start not smelling like a locker room or one of my sister’s goats.”
I sniff my own pit, making a disgusted face, and wave the air in front of me. The boys all laugh as intended and a couple of the parents give me grateful looks.
Rough Love Page 23
