There was no denying what I was any longer. I was fae.
Along with the physical changes came the mental and magical ones. I was no expert, by any means, but my affinity for water had my skin constantly feeling like I had goosebumps no matter where I went. Water was everywhere, and until I had a real handle on everything, Stryx said I would be on constant overload with my senses, but the crown would keep it from being completely overwhelming.
Unfortunately, he was right.
The only time I took the crown off was when I slept and only because Stryx sealed me in my room. As mad as I wanted to be at him for doing so, he only started locking me in when I ended up accidentally calling water to me in my sleep from the fountain on my parents’ porch and flooded the guest house.
Later that afternoon, I had my last test before we headed to the Otherworld, which was scheduled for the following day. I was nervous, but also eager. While the books hadn’t done crap to help me understand my erratic powers, they were useful in understanding the other races and history.
“You know, I’m going to have to stop calling you Chuck if you begin reading more than you train. It’s ruining your cred,” Jordan teased as she plopped down next to me on the couch, making me lose my place. “The crown isn’t helping much, either.”
Glaring at her, I reached a hand up to touch the titanium metal, but in my attempt to look cool, I ended up pricking my finger on one of the sharp points. There were six of them, apparently one for every main race within our two worlds, past and current: Fae, Arvaytans, Shifters, Witches, Vampires, and Demons.
When demons were mentioned, I instantly pictured grotesque beings with leathery skin and horns, but apparently most of them were just descendants from demons and kept a human form like succubus, incubus, djinn, and more I really didn’t care to ever meet.
“Yeah, well, shove it. You might know more about your magic than me, but I could still kick your ass,” I said as I dabbed my finger against my jeans.
“You think so? Tonight, after your final test, let’s see just how true that statement is.” She smirked, and something told me I was going to regret agreeing, but I did anyway.
“You’re on.”
“I need to run to town. Do you need anything?” she asked as she stood back up.
I waved my book at her. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”
Her eyes rolled. “Get a life, nerd.”
Ignoring her, I waited until the door shut to begin reading again. It was a section on past fae with water affinities, and I was mentally taking note of several things I wanted to try that evening. Maybe even against Jordan.
The door opened just a few minutes later, and I let out a sigh. “You ready for your ass-whooping now instead?” I said before looking up to see who was walking through.
Ryland raised a brow at me. “Bestie problems?”
His use of “bestie” had me snort-laughing. “Not exactly. What are you doing here?”
His feet shuffled side-to-side before he finally grabbed one of the two chairs at the table and brought it over to sit in front of me. He was visibly sweating, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so nervous.
“Is everything okay? Did something happen to my parents?” He was still technically their assigned guardian, but they’d been so busy communicating with the higher-ups in the Otherworld, and he was so busy helping me train that Ryland hadn’t spent much time with them.
“Sorry. Yes, your parents are fine. So is everyone else for that matter,” he answered gruffly.
“Then, I’ll ask again. What are you doing here?” I wasn’t trying to be rude, but we weren’t exactly friends. Even though we had formed a sort of truce we never talked about, any communication we’d had over the last week was strictly related to my training.
Irritation flashed on his face, but he managed to rein it in quickly before answering. “I wanted to speak with you privately if you were willing.”
“About what?” I asked. I was definitely willing, because ever since the day he’d carried me to the falls, my body hummed whenever he was close. As much as I hated it, I also loved it, which made me hate it even more. My emotions were putting me through a vicious cycle I hoped would end sooner rather than later.
“Well, as awkward as it is, we need to speak about us and the bond.”
Taking a deep breath, I sighed. “It’s only awkward for you. I mean, does it bother me that you’ve shunned me and been a jerk a majority of the time? Of course. But I won’t let it stop me from moving forward and doing what needs to be done.”
He ignored me and began speaking again. “When we’re young, our parents tell us about what it means to find a Meraki, how special it is and how it should be cherished for life. As a boy, I laughed at that stuff. As a teen, I did my best to stay away from new women, afraid my life would be forever changed in the worst ways.
“After a couple decades? Well, you start to look for that special bond, and when I did, I found it. Not with you, but with another. Someone who stole my breath away the moment I saw her and changed my world for the better when I needed it most after losing my parents and everything I ever owned in a house fire. Her name was Sara, and I loved her more than anything in all the worlds.”
This was not at all going how I thought it would. I really wanted to interrupt him, but he seemed to be lost in his own story as he stared past me and out the window, so I let him continue.
“She was mine for only a few years, and then she was killed. I found her body, and it ruined me. Arvaytans live long lives, but yet, the one I was supposed to spend mine with was gone when I was only in my forties. If it hadn’t been for Jordan and Oliver, I might have willingly gotten myself killed and searched for her in the afterlife.
“But as time went on, I focused on work and taking care of your parents, because I owed them a great debt for taking me in after my own had died. I’d lost the three most important people in my world within a few short years of each other, and it was another decade before I was even close to the man I’d been before they were all taken from me.”
Reaching out to him, I said, “I’m really sorry for your losses.” His pain was real, and I felt it in my own soul. My eyes brimmed with tears as he spoke, and I wanted nothing more than to take the agony away from him.
Though, before I could grasp his hand, he pushed away. “I’m not here for your sympathy. I’m here so you understand. I’ve already loved another, and I can’t do it again. I don’t know how this happened, and honestly, a part of me wonders if there is a dark magic at work here, but I can’t prove it. I lost my life book in the fire that took my parents, but if you’re willing, I’d very much like to see yours.”
Pain rocketed through me. He still didn’t believe that we were meant to be soulmates. Him asking to see my book made me feel as if he thought I was lying to him in some way. As much as I wanted to snap back at him, I decided to just ignore the hurt and get it over with.
I’d actually forgotten about the book my parents had given me on my birthday and never even opened it. Apparently, I wasn’t questioning things enough.
Getting up, I didn’t say anything to him as I headed toward my room and opened the dresser drawers until I found what he wanted. As my hand closed around the book, a shock ran through my body and buckled my knees.
Catching myself on the dresser, I checked to make sure my crown was still in place, then slowly took a few steps until I was steady again.
When I made it back to the living room, Ryland was pacing, and I threw the book at him without thinking. It hit him in the chest and fell to the floor, and he actually looked appalled I’d done such a thing. So much for ignoring the hurt.
“You want to see it, go for it,” I bit out before taking a seat back on the couch.
He reached down for it, but the book zapped him, too, only much harder. “I can’t open it. Only you can.”
Sighing, I reached toward the ground and grabbed it with ease that time. “What am I looking for?”
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He hovered over me. “Find the index and see what page ‘Family’ is on. It should be there.”
Family was only on page five, right after a section called “Before Arvayta”. Apparently, my prior life wasn’t really worth documenting since it had been spent on Earth. Turning the few pages, I stopped and shoved it toward Ryland. “Look at that. Meraki: Ryland Grey. Guess I’m not a voodoo witch playing tricks on you after all. Or wait, do you want me to prove the book is real, too?”
“Kali, that wasn’t what I was implying.”
Standing, I pushed him away. “Really? Listen, I get it. The situation sucks. Was I happy about being told who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with? Absolutely not. Would I have grown to accept it? Most likely. But I won’t be made to feel like a burden. If you don’t want to be here, or don’t want to help stop Alaryk, then don’t. Stay away from me and let the bond break or whatever it does when it’s not accepted. I don’t care anymore.”
His hand reached for my arm, and the moment our skin connected, power flared between us and drew us together instead of pushing us apart, just like it had when we’d been in the water.
Ryland froze as my body pressed against his, and I glared at him. This whole situation was screwing with me, and I didn’t like it one damn bit.
My soul kept telling me I wanted Ryland, but my mind was screaming at me that I didn’t need him. The two parts of me were going to ruin any progress I’d made if Ryland stuck around much longer.
“Please, just go. Leave me alone,” I said softly.
He nodded, and the magnetic pull between us finally fizzled out. When he stepped away and closed the door behind him, I allowed myself a few minutes of tears falling freely for a love I was destined to have but never would.
If I ever saw the Fates, I’d be the first to tell them what a bunch of assholes they were.
When my allotted time was up, I headed for the shower, washed away the evidence of my heartbreak, and got ready for my final test.
It was time to shed away the hurt and do what needed to be done. Most importantly, I was going to do it proudly without a man by my side.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryland
Walking away from Kali was harder than I thought it would be. My plan had been to tell the truth, hopefully dissuade her, and it would be a mutual understanding, but the sympathy I’d seen on her face told me the bond was in fact very real. She had truly only wanted to heal the hurt within me.
Only, it had made me angry and I’d insulted her by forcing her to show me her book of life. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for her. My soulmate had already walked our worlds, and I wouldn’t disrespect her memory by accepting another, not even when my heart had been telling me it was the right thing to do from the start.
Kali couldn’t be mine, or so I kept telling myself. Except there it had been in black and white, proof that none of this was a ruse. I’d really been given two Merakis in one lifetime. None of it made sense. I was furious with the Fates for doing this and not sending a heads up.
I knew they couldn’t interfere in most things, but with an abnormality like this, it would have seemed pertinent for them to do so. Considering Kali was the key to everything we were trying to prevent, I would have assumed they wanted things between her and me to go more smoothly than they had been.
When her eyes met mine, they told me she wanted to give things a shot and accept what had been forced upon her. When I really looked at her and was honest with my feelings, I was overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt for wanting the same things but knowing my first love had been murdered. There was no way I could move on like she had never existed.
I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t disrespect her memory by taking another Meraki. Instead, I’d been rude and distant and angry, all things Kali hadn’t deserved or put up with. When she’d retaliated, a part of me had been grateful she wasn’t taking my crap. She deserved better.
Porting to the only place that brought me peace as of late, I arrived at the falls and settled myself against the rocks at the edge of the grass. I closed my eyes, focused on the roar of the water, and felt the vibrations beneath me while the magic within the core of our world eased my pain.
My body warmed, and I felt a presence before me. Deciding I wasn’t in the mood to speak with anyone, I kept my eyes closed and hoped they’d get the point and move along.
When a foot slammed into my shin, my eyes flew open. “What the hell?” was my immediate response, but I quickly realized my mistake and bowed before the man in front of me.
“I’m sorry, Fate. I didn’t expect your company,” I said reverently.
The Fates very rarely made an actual appearance in our worlds, so I’d either royally screwed up or whatever they had to tell me was so secret they couldn’t even send it in writing the normal way.
“Stand, Ryland. You don’t need to bow to me. We are all equals here.” His voice was angelic, and there was an ethereal glow around his russet skin and ocher hair.
When I stood, I averted my gaze, because I had no clue what I was supposed to do. Usually, only council members spoke with the Fates. I was way out of my comfort zone.
“Take a walk with me,” Fate said.
None of them had names. We simply called the group of them Fates. Since they worked so cohesively, it was as if they were one person anyway.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? People will question your presence,” I said.
“Nobody can see us. You’re still sitting on the ground.” Fate grinned as I whipped my head back.
Sure enough, it appeared as if I was sleeping next to the falls, completely at peace. What I wouldn’t give to actually feel the way I was seeing myself.
Trusting Fate was right, I followed him down the dirt path. “Have I done something wrong?” I asked.
“Not at all, child. I’m here because we made a mistake and we need to remedy it.”
I knew it. Kali wasn’t really my Meraki. Thank the Fates I hadn’t actually done anything to lead her on. She didn’t deserve that.
“You have it wrong, I’m afraid,” Fate said, interrupting my thoughts.
“What do you mean? What other mistake could you have made?”
“We kept something from you when we shouldn’t have. We thought you would work through it on your own, but we underestimated your loyalty. For that, I am very sorry for the grief we’ve caused you.”
I was very close to cussing out a Fate who could very well end me where I stood. I didn’t understand anything he was saying.
“Sara was never your Meraki. I am deeply regretful we let you believe it for so long, but I need you to know we thought you’d figure it out yourself when you managed to move on with your life without completely losing yourself.”
My head shook. No, they had it wrong. Sara had been mine in every way. She knew me soul deep, and our love…it couldn’t have been fake.
“You’re wrong. Sara was my perfect match in every possible way. Kali is the one who isn’t my Meraki,” I responded with so much hate, my hands shook at my sides.
Fate reached for me, but I backed away.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t take away my memories. Don’t take Sara from me. I won’t let you.”
I knew the Fates were capable of pretty much anything, and I wouldn’t bend to their will and accept Kali just because they deemed it necessary for whatever was going to happen with the dark fae. They needed to figure out another way.
“Ryland, I’m not trying to take anything away from you. I want to show you something we should have shown you long ago, but at the time, we didn’t see it pertinent to interfere.”
He snatched me before I could port away, and I was locked within his grasp. His fingers pressed against my temples as the world around me faded and images began to assault me.
Sara with another man. Them laughing and pointing at pictures of me with my friends. Sara kissing this other man and whispering into his ear.
Then, Sara the day
I met her.
She was positively stunning in a white summer dress, sitting peacefully on a swing in the Otherworld all by herself. Her presence had called to me like a siren. A need to go to her had been so strong, I still vividly remembered it even all these years later.
The image skipped forward to our first kiss and the hug that followed it. Her face was scowled when my past self couldn’t see it, as if she was repulsed.
My body flinched at the image, and I tried to jerk away, but Fate wouldn’t let me.
The last thing I saw was so real, I felt like it was playing out right in front of me. Sara was back with the man in the first glimpse.
“He’s fallen hard and fast. It was almost too easy. I’ve even won the admiration of the Queen and King. It’s disgusting, really. Why couldn’t we have postponed this until she was pregnant? Being nice is so draining,” Sara complained.
The man cradled her face. “I know, love, but we need there to be no doubt of your loyalty to them. If you can’t get me that child, I won’t be able to get the vengeance my ancestors deserve. I was made for this, and you were made for me. Together, we will make them pay.”
Sara pouted. “It could be years before that happens. You’re going to let another man touch me for years?”
He snarled, then captured her mouth with his before Fate cut the image and released me from hell.
“We really are sorry. We spent months trying to avoid you meeting her, but there was only so much we could interfere without repercussion. Our hope was that you’d heal and move on when Kaliah came home, but Alaryk’s spell had been stronger than we thought.”
My eyes narrowed. “Alaryk? What does he have to do with this?”
“The fae you saw with Sara. That’s Alaryk. He has been trying to get Kaliah since before she was even born. He believes they’re meant to be together and he can convince her to become a dark fae. He was told from a young age that the only way to true power was to be stronger than anyone else. For some reason, he believes Kaliah will be the partner he needs to fulfill his greatest wants.”
Of Dreams and Sorcery (Royal Fae Guardians Book 1) Page 10
