“You should probably check with your mom before offering her services to strangers.” He was kidding, but her mouth pulled tight for a moment.
“I don’t have to check. She’s a natural born worrier. If she doesn’t have something to fret about, she’ll find something. Look at it this way—you’d be doing her a favor.”
He laughed. Humor swelled inside him and lit up all the places that had been so dark for so long. He defied anyone to spend time around this woman and not smile. It was healing. Exactly what he’d hoped for when he’d heard about a ranch in Rust Creek Falls that offered a place to stay for someone looking to make a fresh start. Luke’s invitation was making it possible for Brendan to take back the life he’d had before his father got sick.
“If I need to be worried about, I’ll let her know,” he promised.
“I would hope you’d let me know first,” she said.
“Sure.”
“Really?” She didn’t look convinced.
His response had come automatically and he wondered now if it really was true. She’d given him an opening to talk about his battle baggage, but he’d brushed her off. Partly because he didn’t want the hell of war to touch her in any way and partly because only someone who’d been through it could understand.
“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time,” he finally said. “As a soldier it’s my job to take care of other people.”
“But you’re not a soldier now,” she said quietly.
“Right.” It was hard to shake the military mind-set when that was the only place he’d ever felt he belonged. “I guess fixing things for folks is still taking care of them.”
“Can’t argue with that. Not only is my mother over the moon that you fixed Grandma’s waffle iron, the whole family will reap the rewards of a pumpkin spice waffle breakfast tomorrow. Ranchers around here are ecstatic about your skills with fixing tractors and backhoes. Rumor has it that there’s a waiting list for your services. You have so taken care of us.”
“Understood.” That made him feel good, and Brendan wondered if his father had ever been able to find that perspective about the service he’d provided.
They were quiet for a while as their horses plodded along a crude trail carved through prairie grass. In the distance mountains stood tall and rugged. Straight ahead, just beyond a line of trees, he spotted a stream.
He pointed to it. “That’s a good place to rest and water the horses.”
“Okay.”
Closer to the river bank they stopped, dismounted, then led the animals to the water. When they’d finished drinking, Brendan drew them to nearby grass and secured the reins to a sturdy bush before joining Fiona, who was leaning against the trunk of a ponderosa pine tree.
He stopped beside her and breathed in the clean air—no desert dust, fear sweat or smell of gunpowder anywhere. Peace was taken for granted by anyone who’d never been to war, and Brendan savored this moment, memorizing everything about it. He studied the mountains that seemed closer and bigger from here than they were from Sunshine Farm.
Fiona followed his gaze. “I hear Texas is flat.”
“A lot of it is. But there are some mountains in the western part of the state. Somehow this is different.”
“In a good way?”
“Yeah.”
“Won’t be long until there’s snow on them,” she commented, nodding toward the towering peaks.
For some reason the words made him feel empty and he was filled with longing. To be in the same place from season to season, year after year. Long enough to know when the leaves would change and the snow would come.
“I look forward to seeing snow. Maybe for the holidays. I’ve never had a white Christmas.”
“Really?” When she looked at him, her eyes sparkled with happiness. “I wasn’t sure you would be staying that long.”
“The truth is that I haven’t figured out my future yet. I can’t make you any promises.”
“I never asked for one.” Her eyes were flashing now but not with anything good. “What makes you think I want a commitment?”
“All I said was it would be nice to see snow. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing tomorrow, so—”
“I’m not saying you have to decide. I made an innocent comment and you pushed back as if I suggested we elope next Sunday. I’m a big girl, Brendan—”
“Yeah. I noticed.” Things would be less complicated if he hadn’t.
She pushed away from the tree and faced him, standing just inches from him. This was not a good time to finally figure out what it meant that a woman was beautiful when she was angry. And Fiona was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her.
“I can handle the truth, Tanner. Stop sending mixed signals. You ask me to dinner then give me no good-night kiss. You kiss me in the moonlight, then ignore me. If you don’t want more than friendship, I—”
“Of course I do,” he interrupted.
“Well, you’ve got a funny way of showing it.” She must have seen something in his expression because she poked her index finger into his chest and said, “Don’t you dare tell me it’s complicated.”
“You said you could handle the truth,” he reminded her.
“I can. But it’s really simple. Either you feel something for me or you don’t. Clearly you don’t. And I’m leaving before this gets even more weird.”
“Don’t go.” Brendan took her hand to stop her. He stared into eyes so clear and blue and innocent they could wash away all the bad he carried inside him. He took a lock of her fiery hair between his fingers and breathed in the sweet, flowery scent of her skin. He’d used up every last ounce of willpower he had resisting the urge to have her. “Do you really not know that I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?”
Her smile was slow and sweet, but she wasn’t quite sure of herself. “You do?”
“Seriously? Yes.” He stared at her flawless face, cute little turned-up nose, full lips. “You’re killing me here, Fee.”
“So, what is it you want?” She studied him, searching for the answer on his face. “I don’t mean the future. I’m not talking about tomorrow or the next day. What do you want now? Right this minute.”
“You.” The single word came out on a whisper as his heart pounded.
She moved closer so that their bodies were touching from chest to knee. Turning her face up, she asked, “Then what are you waiting for?”
Brendan knew he had good reasons for holding back, but right this second he had no idea what they were. He touched his mouth to hers and eagerly took what she offered. Her lips were soft and every bit as sexy here with the sun shining as they’d been in the moonlight.
He traced her mouth with his tongue and she opened to him without hesitation, offering everything. He explored slowly, thoroughly, and it wasn’t nearly enough. He tugged her cotton shirt from the waistband of her jeans and slipped his hand underneath, settling his palm on her bare back. Her skin was even softer than he’d imagined and his imagination had gone wild. He moved his palm to her waist and slowly slid upward, brushing his thumb to the underside of her breast.
“Oh, Brendan—” Her breathing quickened and she pulled his shirt free from his jeans, then reached underneath, skimming her hands over his abdomen and up to his chest.
She seemed frustrated, in the cutest possible way, and tugged his snap-front shirt open. Pressing her body to his, she put her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him until he was sure his head was going to explode.
Brendan was breathing hard when he cupped her butt in his hands, then slid them to the backs of her thighs and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he braced her against the tree, letting his forearm shield her back from the rough bark. If they didn’t have their clothes on, he’d be inside her right now. He would—
Then the truth smacke
d him upside the head. Reality was a bitch. It was in the top ten hardest things he’d ever done, but Brendan pulled his mouth from hers.
“Fiona—”
“What?” Her voice was a breathless whisper, but there was wariness, too.
“You know I want you more than anything, right?”
“A second ago I thought so, but now I’m not so sure.” She pressed her kiss-swollen lips together and there was a bruised expression in her eyes, as if she was expecting to be disappointed.
“It’s the honest to God truth that I want you so much it hurts.”
“But?”
“I don’t have a condom.”
She blinked at him as the consequences of that sank in. “Oh...”
He could almost see the wheels turning in her head and had a feeling he knew what she was about to suggest. He put a finger to her lips to stop the words. “No. I would never risk you that way. Besides, we’re right out in the open. Not that far from Sunshine Farm. There’s no telling who could ride by. I won’t put you in a position like that.”
“You’re a good man.” After blowing out a long breath she kissed his cheek. Then she let her legs slide down over his thighs until her boots touched the ground. “So, we’re not that far from your cabin. Do you have protection there?”
He’d resigned himself to the fact that this wasn’t going to happen. What with blood flow to his brain detoured, it took a second for her question to sink in. When it did, he grinned. “Why, yes, I do.”
“Like I said, good man. I’ll race you.” She gave him a sassy look, then slipped out of his arms and sprinted toward the horses.
“Hot damn.” Brendan was right behind her.
* * *
On horseback Fiona followed Brendan until he stopped in front of one of the seven log cabins built on Sunshine Farm property. It was small, and judging by the speed at which he dismounted, Brendan was in a hurry to get inside.
“I’ll take care of the horses later.” He took her reins and along with his own tied them to one of the vertical log poles supporting the porch roof.
Fiona slid out of the saddle and met his gaze. His green eyes were more intense than she’d ever seen them and all the heat there was focused on her. But there was a question, too. And she didn’t have to ask what it was.
She moved to him and slid her hand into his. “I haven’t changed my mind.”
A slow, sexy smile curved up the corners of his mouth. “It’s been a long time.”
That made her heart happy. Still, she couldn’t resist saying, “I’m sure everything will come back to you.”
With her hand tucked securely in his much larger one, they walked inside and shut the door behind them. It was barely closed before he pulled her into his arms and kissed her as if today was their last day on earth. In a heartbeat her breathing went from slightly elevated to “can’t get enough air.” The ride back had not cooled off her hormones. If anything, waiting made her want him even more desperately. She pulled at the snap front of his shirt, baring his chest to her touch. Again.
“Bedroom—that way,” he said hoarsely, tugging her with him.
In the small room, simple cotton curtains covered the windows but sunlight sneaked in around the edges. There was a bed, a pine dresser and matching nightstands. In a frenzy they toed off boots and yanked off clothes, not necessarily their own. Brendan pulled the bedspread and blanket to the foot of the bed, then lifted her easily into his arms and set her in the middle of it.
He slid in beside her, then drew her to him and claimed her mouth. Her bare breasts were snuggled to his wide chest and she settled her palms on his back, exploring the impressive muscles. He swept his hand down her side and over her hip, the touch setting her on fire everywhere. But that was nothing compared to what she felt when his fingers trailed over her abdomen to the most intimate place between her thighs. If she was on fire before, now her body was an out-of-control blaze.
“Oh, God, Brendan. I want you...” She dug her fingers into the thick muscles of his biceps.
“Understood.”
He rolled away, just far enough to reach into the nightstand and fumble around until he found what he was looking for. He retrieved the square packet and tore it open, then put on the condom.
He took her in his arms again and gently pressed her body into the mattress with his own. After nudging her legs apart with his knee, he slowly entered her and took his weight on his forearms. He was breathing really hard.
“Fiona—” he whispered.
“Yes.” She arched her hips upward, showing him what she wanted without words.
He got the message. Slowly at first, then increasing the tempo, he thrust into her. With every movement she felt the tension tighten inside her until all too soon it exploded in a blaze of exquisite pleasure. He held her until the aftershocks subsided, then started to move again. One thrust, then another and another until he buried his face in her neck as he found his own release. She held him tight while his breathing slowed.
Finally he lifted his head and looked at her, then brushed the hair back from her face. His smile was soft, tender—peaceful. “I don’t ever want to move.”
“Me, either.” She traced a finger over his chest, really liking the masculine dusting of hair. “I hear a ‘but.’”
“The horses are still outside in front of the cabin.”
As the reality sank in, her eyes widened. She’d been in too much of a hurry before to worry about being seen, but that changed in a heartbeat. If no one knew about them, they wouldn’t talk. Or judge. “Holy Mother of God—”
“Yeah.” He rolled away from her and got up, heading for the small bathroom.
She jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. “What if someone sees them? They’ll know we—you—I—”
“Had sex.” He came out of the bathroom still naked and all male perfection.
The extra pounds she carried had never bothered Fiona more than they did right this minute. But that was sort of like shutting the barn door after the horse got out. “I would prefer it if only you and I knew what happened.”
“My lips are sealed,” he agreed.
“I’m pretty sure we can count on the horses not to rat us out, but if anyone comes by and starts asking questions—”
“I suggest we get a move on before that happens.” He came close and gave her a quick kiss before putting his clothes on.
After Fiona tucked in her shirt and finger-combed her hair, she said, “This will have to do.”
“You look beautiful. Like you just came from a man’s bed after—”
“Oh, God.”
“Or back from a ride.”
“Right,” she said enthusiastically. “That would explain the messy hair.”
Brendan opened the door and Fiona poked her head out, making sure the coast was clear for a clean getaway. There was no one in sight and she untied the reins of her horse. Brendan did the same and they started walking the animals to the barn for food, water and a rubdown.
She was rocking a nice little glow now that no one was the wiser about them having sex. The sky looked bluer. The air was fresher. Life was better. But when they were almost to the big yellow barn, Luke Stockton came around the corner and there was a man with him. She recognized Forrest Traub. The hunky former soldier walked with a limp, the result of being wounded in Iraq. He lived in Thunder Canyon, so the question was—why was he here?
“Hey, you two, how was the ride?” Luke asked.
Fiona felt heat creep into her cheeks. Did he know what they’d just done? Surely not. How could he? There was no choice but to brazen it out. “It was good. Beautiful day. Sun shining. Air crisp and clean. I brought over my mother’s waffle iron. It wouldn’t heat. Brendan fixed it.” She was babbling and couldn’t seem to stop. “Hey, Forrest. How are you? How’s Angie?”
“M
y wife is great.” He looked at the man beside her. “Who’s your friend?”
More than a friend, she thought. But exactly what he was, she really had no idea. “Sorry. Where are my manners? This is Brendan Tanner.”
“He’s the guy I told you about,” Luke said.
“Ex-marine.” Forrest nodded. “I was army.”
They talked a bit, and after Brendan told him about his father, the other man looked at him sympathetically.
“Sorry.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and winced from the movement. “It’s tough enough to readjust, but that’s a really crappy thing to come home to.”
“Yeah.”
Fiona waited, but he didn’t elaborate. Didn’t explain that his adjustment didn’t really start until after his dad died, making it feel pretty current to him. What was he thinking right now? He’d told her he hadn’t figured out his future yet. Was he wishing he was still in the military? The subtext of what he’d said was that he hadn’t wanted to resign but was forced to by his father’s illness.
“Brendan is actually why I asked Forrest to come and check out Sunshine Farm,” Luke said.
“Oh?” Fiona wasn’t following.
“From experience I understand the challenges of reintegrating to civilian life,” Forrest said. “Especially when there are physical changes. I had a hard time. Bitter and angry. If not for Angie I don’t know where I’d be right now.” He shook his head. “And I came home with just a bum leg. Some men and women have it really hard. Missing limbs. Traumatic brain injury. Then there are the emotional wounds of PTSD. Mental challenges can often be harder to measure progress.”
“I’m not sure where Sunshine Farm comes in,” she admitted.
“Luke contacted me because he knows I work with returning veterans and groups that help them assimilate to life stateside. He thinks a stay here might help a veteran dealing with all kinds of war-related problems.”
Unmasking The Maverick (Montana Mavericks: The Lonelyhearts Ranch Book 4) Page 10
