Love Me, Crazy

by Laura Burton

  ‘Oh Tom, I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how hard that was for you,’ I said softly, rubbing his arm. The hair on his arms was surprisingly soft under my hand. ‘So, you won't drink because it killed your dad?’ I asked carefully. Tom shrugged.

  ‘He died in a car accident while he was drunk,’ he explained. ‘The hell he put my mother through, not knowing where he was, the aggression, never reliable, the black outs -Well, there were many factors. I just think that living a teetotal life makes things simpler,’ he ended as we reached the road outside Clifton High. Our cars were parked outside the gates. My small Corsa and his Audi estate. I turned to him, he held both my hands in his as I looked up into his grey eyes. They were dark in the street light.

  ‘Is that why you decided to be a Reverend?’ I asked softly. Tom thought for a moment.

  ‘My father was a Reverend, actually’ he said with a slight laugh. I raised my eyebrows and he smiled strangely back. ‘Many of his friends, still have no idea of his… issues with alcohol.’

  ‘They didn’t know he was an alcoholic?’ I replied incredulously.

  ‘No,’ Tom replied simply. Then when he saw that I wasn’t convinced, he added, ‘He hid it well.’ The finality in his tone told me that he was done talking about it. I didn’t push him on the subject and leaned in to hug him instead. I was suddenly choking on Tom’s musky scent as he held me tightly in his arms. His thin torso was bony, and I could feel his ribs through his shirt pressing against my cheek. The flutter in my chest faded. I tilted my head back to look up at Tom’s face and before I knew anything, he was kissing me. His lips were moving awkwardly, and I squinted my closed eyes against his touch, waiting for it to end. Tom leaned back and smiled at me, apparently unaware of my feelings. My eyes didn’t give away that much after all, as I broke contact with him and stood back.

  ‘Well, I’ve enjoyed this,’ I started as I got my keys out of my bag and fiddled with them in my hands.

  ‘Do you want to -’ Tom started to ask but I interrupted him quickly.

  ‘I need to get back home, I have an early start tomorrow,’ I lied. I had nothing to do that weekend, with the major highlight being a good lie in and catching up on my favourite TV Show. Tom nodded.

  ‘Doing anything nice?’ he asked. I tried to stop my eyes averting from his and said the first thing that came to my mind.

  ‘I’m driving to my parents’ house,’ I lied.

  ‘They live in Southampton, right? That’s quite a drive,’ Tom said mildly. I nodded.

  ‘Well, I’ll call you tomorrow night, see how you are?’ he said as I unlocked my car and got in. Tom leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, I smiled in response, and Tom closed the door.

  ‘Bye!’ I called out as I started the ignition. Tom was brimming with happiness, waving at me in a jovial manner as I drove away. My smile melted off my face when I turned the corner and headed towards the main road.

  The drive to my house was fairly long. The dark country roads past Long Ashton towards Portishead were quiet and allowed my mind to race ahead with other thoughts. It was like I had just been on a rollercoaster. My feelings for Tom were all over the place. I was certain that I possessed no romantic feelings for him, yet when he poured his heart out to me, and when he kissed me the first time, I practically swooned at him. Then, it all changed again. Suddenly, his touch, his scent, his kiss - It was all wrong! Now I had found myself in a relationship with the man. At least, it seemed like it. He was so intense and open with me in the coffee shop. I didn’t dare wonder what he wanted to do, but I wasn’t willing to find out. I moaned to myself in the car, ‘What are you doing, Dee? What have you got yourself into?’ I had no idea.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Well, This Is Awkward

  I woke up the next morning with a knot of anxiety in my stomach. Beads of sunlight peeked through the lilac curtains in my bedroom and rested on the silk covers on my bed. My phone was vibrating on the nightstand next to me and I leaned over to see who was calling. It was Tom.

  ‘Hey, Tom! Are you ok?’ I said with a high husky voice, it appeared that my voice box still asleep.

  ‘Good morning Dee, Dee,’ he said in a sing-song voice. The nickname made me cringe, no one called me ‘Dee, Dee,’ not since I was a little girl, anyway.

  ‘How did you sleep?’ he asked. A yawn escaped my lips as I climbed out of bed and walked out of the bedroom to the lounge across the hall.

  ‘Quite well, thank you,’ I replied. ‘Are you ok?’ I asked again, wondering what prompted this early call. Tom sounded enthusiastic.

  ‘Yes, yes, I was thinking I could come with you today, it’s a long drive after all, you may enjoy some company!’

  ‘What?’ I asked blankly. Tom took a moment and then said, a little unsure now, ‘You said you were driving to Southampton today -to visit your parents?’ The knot in my stomach tightened. Well, it looks like I’m going on a drive today then, I thought to myself as I quickly agreed. ‘Oh, sorry I’m half asleep, yes! That would be…lovely,’ I stuttered.

  ‘Excellent, text me your address and I’ll come over right now,’ he said, excited.

  ‘Oh, well I don’t live in Bristol,’ I said slowly as I drew back the curtains in the lounge letting the morning sun pour into the room. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the kettle.

  ‘Where are you then?’ Tom asked, jumping me out of my silence.

  ‘Hmm? Oh, I live in Portishead, it’s about 40 minutes drive,’ I explained. I heard a car door slam on the other side of the phone and the rumbling of an engine.

  ‘I’m leaving now, do you want me to pick something up for breakfast?’ he asked, his voice a little serious.

  ‘No, no,’ I replied quickly. ‘I’m eating now, then I’ll send you my address for your Sat Nav and expect you’ll be here within the hour,’

  Tom agreed, and we ended the conversation. I placed my phone on the countertop feeling dazed and with a sudden gasp, realised that I was taking Tom to meet my parents. How did that happen? The kettle whistled and clicked, I poured the boiling water into a mug and took out a Chamomile tea bag and stirred a little overzealously. First thing I needed to do was call my parents. I looked at the clock on the microwave; it was just after 7am. Did Tom sleep at all last night? I wondered, as I dialled the number into my phone. It went to voicemail.

  ‘Hi Mum and Dad, I thought I would come over for a visit today? I’m leaving in the next hour so should be with you sometime before lunch. Call me back on my mobile if you want, otherwise I guess I’ll see you later!’ I rambled as I put a couple of slices of bread into the toaster.

  I stood there, listening to the hum of the fridge as I contemplated my situation. My parents don’t know I’m coming to visit them, Tom is now coming with me and what are we supposed to do? All go out for lunch? Like a nice happy family? What am I supposed to say? Tom is my friend? After the previous night, I got the impression that we had left the friend territory. But how could I call him my boyfriend when I recoil every time he holds me close? What is wrong with me?

  My phone started to vibrate. I looked at the screen to read ‘Mum Calling’.

  ‘Hi mum, sorry to call you so early in the morning!’ I started. A bright and breezy voice came jabbering down the phone to my ear. ‘Oh darling, it’s always lovely to hear from you, your father and I would be thrilled to see you! And we have someone we would love to meet you! He’s our accountant actually -’

  ‘Mum!’ I interjected, horrified. She was setting me up on a date with her accountant! This was mortifying. ‘I don’t need a set up-’

  ‘- Oh no, no! It’s nothing like that, Jack is just a friend, I promise you it’s no set-up my dear,’ she continued, unfazed. ‘He’s coming over this afternoon to discuss some changes we would like to make in our company, and as you gave us no notice about visiting us - and we would so love to see your beautiful face - we will just have to enjoy a lunch together!’

  ‘Oh,’ was all I could say in return. Then Tom’s fa
ce came to mind. ‘Mum,’ I started hesitantly. ‘I’m bringing a friend from work, do you mind?’

  ‘Oh no, darling! That would be marvellous!’ she cried.

  ‘Well, that’s good then. I need to get ready to leave; I’ll call you when I’m close by,’ I said as I started to butter the toast.

  ‘Yes, yes, speak to you soon, love you,’ she replied, sounding far too pleased.

  I hung up the phone and stuffed a slice of toast in my mouth, my mind was full of thoughts as I chewed. What an interesting day this was shaping up to be.

  After a quick, uncomfortably cold shower, I dried my hair with a hairdryer and sat on the double bed facing a mirror on the wall. The sunlight streamed in through the windows across my face as I peered into my reflection. My eyes had dark rings underneath them and my fair skin was pasty white from tiredness. I dragged a brush through my long hair, working out the knots and dusted some bronzer on my face to make me look a little less like the living dead. After adding a touch of mascara and lip-gloss I looked a lot more presentable. This was the best I could do, considering the little time I had to get ready. Next thing to worry about, was what to wear. I walked over to the white double wardrobe and opened it to find very little clothing hanging inside. Of course, I had nothing to wear -that would be perfectly normal on a Saturday morning. It was laundry day, after all. I pulled a pair of dark jeans out and yanked them up my legs and over my thighs. The zip went up with some force on my part, and the button fastened tightly over my bloated stomach. ‘I’ll have stomach ache in a few hours,’ I said aloud to myself. But there was nothing I could do. Everything else was dirty. So, they would have to do. I reasoned that I would undo the top button if the jeans got too uncomfortable, as long as my top was long enough to hide it. The only clean top hanging in the wardrobe was a red chiffon blouse. It was a little formal for a lunch with the parents, but again, I was just grateful to have something clean to wear.

  The doorbell rang suddenly. I grabbed a pair of black boots and hopped on one foot as I pulled one on my right foot and did the same with the other. ‘Coming,’ I called out quickly, dashing across the hall to the stairs leading to the front door of my coach house. I grabbed my handbag, threw a phone and some lip-gloss inside and hurried down the stairs. After peeking through the eyehole, and seeing Tom’s pointy Adam's apple on his neck, I turned the keys in the lock and opened the door. Tom’s thin lips curved into a smile as he looked at me, quickly followed by a ‘Wow, you look absolutely stunning,’ I blushed genuinely as I struggled to take the keys out of the door and pull it shut. I took a breath and turned to him, ‘Thank you,’ I said, embarrassed. Compliments were not given to me every day, in fact it was a rare occurrence that anyone said anything nice to me. It was uncommon to find people in Bristol who would openly express their positive emotions. Sarcasm on the other hand, was not in short supply. Tom leaned in to kiss me on the lips, I gave a bashful laugh and turned my face slightly to receive the kiss on my cheek. A look of surprise washed over Tom’s face, but he soon shrugged it off and took my hand as we walked around the garage beneath the house to my car.

  ‘I couldn’t sleep last night, I’ve been giddy like a schoolboy, replaying everything over in my head,’ Tom said as he bounced on the balls of his feet, waiting for me to unlock the car. I smiled, feeling an uncomfortable lump in my throat as I did. ‘Oh, I really enjoyed our date last night too,’ I said kindly. We climbed into the car, Tom on the passenger side and closed the doors. I went to put the keys in the ignition, but Tom put his bony hand onto my knee and gave me a serious look.

  ‘You have this effect on me, it’s difficult to explain, but it’s powerful and I can’t get enough of it,’ he said as he leaned in to kiss me. The intensity of his words were overwhelming and too much for my tired mind to cope with. I planted a peck on his lips and started the car quickly to avoid any more contact. Tom sat back in his seat and fastened the seatbelt, never taking his eyes off me.

  It was the longest drive of my life. Tom talked endlessly about how beautiful I was, the funny things that I do that make him smile -he absolutely fawned over me. ‘I just want to cherish you every moment that I’m with you,’ he said as we pulled up outside my parents’ house. I sighed heavily, feeling a great weight on my chest. Tom was suffocating me; his sentiments were sickly sweet, and I was drowning in them. It was starting to make me feel like that high school girl all over again with the swooning ‘Tomas’-

  ‘Well, we’re here!’ I announced, motioning to the three storey house across the road. The rose bushes were in full bloom and covered the front of the house completely.

  ‘Wow, what a garden!’ exclaimed Tom, eyeing the vast foliage out in the front lawn. I smiled fondly as I looked at the different flowers lining the path up to the blue front door and the birdbath standing on a circle of slate paving stones.

  ‘My parents run a landscaping company,’ I said absent-mindedly as I got out of the car. Tom followed suit and started singing its praises. I half-heartedly listened as I stared at the BMW 5 series sat on the driveway. That car did not belong to my parents. It must mean that the accountant was already there.

  Tom walked around the car and took my hand. After a brief moment, I moved my hand away and smiled shyly at him,

  ‘Tom, I haven’t told my parents about you yet, can we just tell them that we’re friends?’ I asked quickly. Tom’s eyes looked hurt, but he nodded quickly and said,

  ‘Sure we can, no problem.’ We walked side by side down the brick path and stood at the door.

  I was about to ring the bell when the door opened suddenly and a middle-aged man, with dark bushy hair, and chunky black glasses stood before us and gave me a beaming smile. ‘Hello Dee!’ He said as he pulled me into a hug.

  ‘Hi Dad, it’s nice to see you well,’ I said as he kissed my cheek. He eyed Tom with slight suspicion and formally shook his hand.

  ‘Hello, I’m Dee’s dad. Mr Williams,’ he said. Tom gave a good-natured smile, as always, and introduced himself.

  ‘Hello, I’m Thomas Pembleton, a friend of Dee’s from work,’ he said. His eyes briefly flickered over to me as he said “friend”.

  We walked into the house and a short, skinny blonde woman, with narrow features, came bounding towards me and gave me a warm hug.

  ‘Oh darling Dee! I’m so glad you got here safely,’ she cried. I hugged back with a big smile, soaking in her familiar scent. She smelt like warm spices and the flowery perfume she always wore on special occasions.

  ‘It’s nice to be here, mum,’ I said but she had already started talking at great speed.

  ‘Well, everyone is a little early today, but as we are all here, we could do “brunch”, I’ve got some scones in the oven,’ Then she looked up at Tom, who towered over the three of us, and she stopped in her tracks. ‘Who is your – friend?’ She asked me; giving me a severe look as she did. Tom cleared his throat and offered his hand to my mother. She hesitantly took it and they exchanged quick pleasantries. I could sense my mother’s voice was a little strained.

  ‘This is Reverend Pembleton,’ I announced to mum. She looked surprised.

  ‘Reverend?’ she repeated, giving me a quick look, her smile was betrayed by the confusion in her eyes. I wondered if my eyes were so expressive, and that was what Tom referred to the night before.

  ‘Please call me Tom,’ he said politely. My mother was lost for words for a moment, giving my father an opportunity to lead us all through the hallway to sit in the lounge. The front lounge was just a small room with a circle of comfortable chairs and a small coffee table in the centre. It was formally the ‘entertaining room’, where guests were greeted and where my parents questioned former boyfriends. I sensed that Tom would be subject to the same treatment, that was until I noticed someone sitting in the corner.

  ‘Dee, this is our accountant, Jack Roberts,’ my mother announced, her voice now confident and pleased. She had a devilish look in her eye as she grinned back at Tom, who was watching me, search
ing my face for a reaction. The man stood up and strode towards us. He was slightly shorter than me, with my high heel boots on. His legs were stocky, and he had a muscular physique. His jaw was strong, and his left cheek dimpled as he smiled at me. Then I saw his eyes. Those blue, piercing eyes, under his dark fringe. My jaw dropped as I felt his rough hand in mine, and he shook it firmly. He was smiling broadly, apparently amused at something.

  ‘It’s you!’ came flying out of my mouth before I could stop it. It was the mystery man with the laptop bag. I looked past his shoulder and saw an Oakley laptop bag sitting beside the armchair he was seated in. There was no mistake, it was him.

  ‘Yes, it’s me!’ he said, humoured. His voice was incredibly low and sent soft vibrations through my entire being. Our hands were still clasped together. I blushed and took my hand away, looking around the room to see that my parents had seated themselves on a love seat by the window. Tom stepped forward and gave Jack a polite handshake, but his eyes were glaring. ‘I’m Reverend Pembleton. I’m with Dee,’ he said curtly. I shot him a look.

  ‘We work together,’ I added quickly. Jack looked at Tom and back at me and smiled to himself. The look of shock on my face, and intense possessiveness on Tom’s must have been amusing. He turned to me,

  ‘have we met?’ he asked. I shook my head quickly.

  ‘I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was saying,’ I laughed. He laughed back. His laugh was steady and pleasant, my heart leapt at the sound.