Love Me, Crazy

by Laura Burton

  ‘That’s a bit creepy,’ Josh remarked. I nodded anxiously in agreement.

  ‘He admitted that he has been following me since the first day that we met at work,’ I swallowed the ball of nerves in my throat as Jack stood up and started pacing the room.

  ‘Well, how long ago was that?’ he asked.

  ‘Over two months ago,’ I replied, trying to work out the dates.

  An uncomfortable shiver washed over me at the realisation that Tom had been watching my every move, perhaps managing to listen to the conversations I had with my parents and with Jack. Though, for the most part, I was reclusive and spent my spare time speaking with Tom in the coffee shop or talking on the phone. I couldn’t get my mind around the thought that Tom and reverend Pembleton were the same person. When Tom was a reverend, he was polite, jovial and so easy to get on with and open up to.

  When he admitted that he wasn’t really who he said he was all this time, everything between us changed. I was mourning the loss of a friend, someone who I enjoyed seeing every day and even looked forward to spending time with. Then suddenly, feeling betrayed and treated like a fool. His scent, his kiss, everything physical left an imprint of guilt on my soul. It was like his hands were covered in filth, and whenever he touched me, the filth was passed onto me, and I was dirty. The filth was his deceit and betrayal; it was unforgivable. Yet I was willing to get to know him, to understand why it was that he decided to live a false life. Then he got me fired, and he became intense, over-powering and possessive. He wanted me as his possession, and nothing I said would change the way he felt. In his mind, I was his property, and he was entitled to stalking me, he was allowed to be angry with me seeing Jack, and there was nothing wrong with him picking the front door lock and entering my house.

  Because I was his precious little trophy and he could do whatever he wanted with it.

  Well, not anymore. I thought to myself, my jaw clenched with anger. Jack and his brothers were in discussion over harassment law and if there was any benefits in requesting a restraining order from the police.

  ‘Thing is, this guy has forged a death certificate, personified at least two different people that we know of, with probably more in his past, and he’s capable of breaking into a house,’ Josh explained, his heavy eyebrows knitted together as he spoke. ‘This guy won’t be put off by a restraining order, especially as we don’t know what his real name is, and there’s the matter of finding him and making him aware of the restraining order. We need to find him, undoubtably, but my point is, how do you track down a man who doesn’t even exist?’

  The room was silent in response to the heavy question. It was a valid point. What could be done? He seemed invincible and dangerously obsessed with me. But why me? I was not the only woman who gave any attention to Tom; I remembered the female teachers at school were talkative and complimentary to him. The brunette at the counter in the coffee shop was besotted with him, from the many times we sat in the shop, and she stared at him adoringly and gave me assertive glances and looks of disapproval, why did he not go after her? I was pretty certain that she would not have taken issue with him showering her with every compliment under the sun and worshipping the ground she walks on. Of course, I enjoyed those things about Tom after first. But his sickly-sweet sentiments left a bad aftertaste, and his over the top loving attitude was suffocating. Though, he was just not ‘the one’ for me. If Jack had been the one who lied about being an accountant, I wouldn’t have cared at all. If he asked me to be a stay at home wife, I’d think about it, not become offended by the idea. If he kissed me, I wouldn’t cringe away or feel repelled by him. I looked at Jack as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had dark rings under his eyes, and his usually tanned skin was pale. He needed sleep. I shut off my thoughts and finished the story.

  ‘He broke into the house, came up the stairs while I locked myself into the bathroom, then he got into the bathroom and said that if I called the police, he would convince them that I was a raving mad girlfriend who needed her medication.’ Cries of indignation responded my account.

  ‘That’s disgusting,’ Joe said, who had been sat quietly in the corner until that point. His narrow face was similar to Jack's but less defined and more boyish.

  ‘I can’t believe this guy, what a coniving, sick con-artist,’ James ranted. The brothers murmured in reply.

  ‘You gave his ring back then,’ Jack said, looking at my bare hand.

  ‘It was horrible,’ I started, reliving the moment when he walked into my personal space and slid the ring off my finger using his teeth.

  I recounted what happened, ‘- and then, he looked at me with this crazed facial expression and swallowed the ring,’

  ‘He swallowed the ring?’ Jack repeated, stunned. Joe laughed.

  ‘He’ll regret that in the morning, ouch!’ Jack glared at him, now was not the time to be making jokes.

  The room was silent once more as the men thought about what to do next. Everyone looked like they were losing energy and focus. I looked up at Jack, in a pleading manner.

  ‘Please can I go to sleep,’ I begged. ‘I’m so drained, it’s been the longest day, and I just need to go to bed.’

  Jack hesitated, staring at his brothers as they slowly got to their feet.

  ‘Well bro looks like you’ve got this under control. We’ll regroup in the morning. I’ll get these boys back home, and you give us a call if you need us again,’ Josh said, clapping his hands together. He turned to me, his face concerned.

  ‘I’m glad you’re alright, love, but be careful yeah? This scum bag isn’t worth your time,’ he advised. I gave him a hug, he was soft and smelt of stale sweat.

  ‘Thank you so much,’ I said, as I hugged each of them. They all said their goodbyes and tailed out of the room, down the stairs and through the front door. Jack watched them go and shifted his weight on his feet awkwardly.

  ‘I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here,’ he began, his eyes scrutinising every part of my lounge, probably working out how many ways Tom could break into my house.

  ‘Then don’t leave,’ I replied, picking up his hand and giving it a squeeze.

  ‘You saved me today,’ I said fervently, ‘who knows what Tom had planned for me, where he was going to take me and what -’ I hesitated ‘What he was planning to do to me,’ my voice broke. Jack took my arm and draped it around his strong neck and lifted me into the air. Like a groom would carry his bride over the threshold of their marital home. It was a contrast to the way Tom carried me before, he held me close to him, I rested my head against his chest and listened to the steady thump, thump of his heartbeat. He carried me all the way down the hall and into my bedroom, he stopped in the doorway.

  ‘Do you want me to put you to bed?’ he asked carefully. I nodded, almost asleep in his arms, as my body relaxed into his embrace and my mind slowed down. Sleep was threatening to come at any moment. Jack walked inside the room and helped me lay down onto the bed and pulled the covers over my body. He stroked the hair away from my face and kissed my forehead; his lips were warm on the cold sweat gathering on my brow.

  ‘Stay,’ I whispered, my eyes closed now, utterly exhausted and emotionally drained. I couldn’t bare the thought of waking up in the cold, empty coach house, with the knowledge that my house locks do not keep me safe from a person who dedicated to breaking into the house. Jack sat on top of the covers on the bed and silently watched over me, as I took my final breaths and fell into a deep and troubled sleep.

  Tom was running towards me at a phenomenal speed, he bared his teeth to expose his giant fangs and morphed into a snarling dog, foaming at the mouth and snapping at me. I screamed, and shook and tried to run away, but my legs refused to move. My neck was stiff and sore, and my whole body would not cooperate with me. Jack shushed me from a distance, which sent me into a bigger frenzy.

  ‘Where are you?’ I tried to cry out, but instead, a drugged moan escaped my lips. Jack’s calm voice entered my mind,

  ‘It
’s alright, you’re having nightmares, ‘he said softly. Stroking my hair. I blinked open my eyes, allowing my body a few moments to realise that I had woken up. Jack was sat up next to me on the bed, typing away on his laptop which was sitting on his lap. He looked down at me with a smile,

  ‘Good morning,’ he said in a pleasant voice. The room was light as the sun streamed in through a gap in the curtains. I yawned and arched my back, stretching out my arms and legs like a cat waking up after a nap.

  ‘How did you sleep?’ Jack asked softly. I yawned again, sitting upright. The covers fell down revealing my t-shirt that was bloody from the night before. The horrific memories of the night came flooding back to me and made me wince against it all.

  ‘I slept ok,’ I replied, Jack was staring at me with a look of concern and another expression – one that was difficult to read. I couldn’t quite tell if he was admiring me or mildly amused by something. I made to get out of bed, but Jack stopped me. He leaned in and gave me a soft peck on the cheek.

  ‘You look adorable by the way,’ he said, his dimple showing as he gave me a grin. I automatically smiled in return, then I got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When I entered the room, the shaggy rug was folded over on one side and reminded me that Tom was stood there. A huge sense of panic filled my entire body and built up in my chest. I struggled to breathe, and huge wracks of sobs sent my body into convulsions.

  ‘Jack!’ I cried, feeling like I was being choked to death. I fell to my knees and let the tears flow endlessly as I gave into the panic. Jack came running into the bathroom and held me tightly in his arms. He sat on the floor with me and cradled my body.

  ‘You’re alright, you’re safe, nothing is going to happen to you,’ he said in a calming voice. He rocked me back and forward like a baby and gave me light kisses on the top of my head. I felt my chest loosen up and my breath came back to me, he was the antidote for the negative reaction I had to Tom. It was remarkable that Jack and I had only known each other for a couple of weeks, it felt like years, yet I didn’t really know much about him. I did know his heart though, and it was kind and made of gold.

  ‘Audrey,’ he murmured into my hair, I looked up at him, his face was extremely white now, and the circles under his eyes were darker. He must have stayed awake the entire night, watching over me as I slept. Funnily enough, the thought was not disturbing to my mind, as it would have been had Tom been the one sitting next to me on my bed, watching me sleep. I pushed away the thought, as the image in my mind stirred up feelings of anxiety in my stomach.

  ‘We’re going to sort this out,’ he said, hopeful. I gave a small smile in return, hardly able to believe how we could solve this impossible riddle. How can we stop Tom from coming back again? How can we expect him to give up when he has already shown how fixated he was on getting to me and keeping me as a possession? I wondered where he was at that moment, was he laying in a hospital bed after having treatment for his jaw? Did he think that would be too risky to do and decided to stay somewhere close by to work out his next move? Or did he truly leave and go to his house?

  ‘I’ve been thinking about our plan,’ Jack’s words broke into my thoughts. I leaned into his chest and relaxed, listening to his voice. His chest rumbled against my ear as he spoke, it made me feel the urge to fall asleep again.

  ‘What have you come up with?’ I asked through a yawn, closing my eyes and cherishing this moment with him. I was in the safest place I could be, in the protective arms of the only man in the world that I loved and trusted deeply.

  ‘You won't like it, but it has to be done,’ he began. I yawned again, only half-listening now.

  ‘I need to get a few hours sleep first, but I’m going to drive you to your parents’ house, where you’re going to stay until this is all sorted out,’ he said quickly. My head shot up, and I looked at him again, alarmed.

  ‘I can’t stay there, Tom knows where they live as well, and if I told them what happened last night, they would feel like they would have to babysit me day and night. They won't give me a second of privacy,’ I almost whined.

  ‘I need to track him down, find out where he’s working at the moment, who he is walking around pretending to be, and where he’s living,’ Jack explained evenly. ‘Then I need to get the authorities to work with me in getting this guy locked up, we can get somewhere with harassment, but that will only result in a warning and a restraining order – though truth be told, I haven’t looked into that yet, a friend of mine is a barrister at the crown courts in London, I’ll see what he says about it all,’

  ‘Can we just leave it? Can we not just let it go, and move on? Maybe… maybe we could run away together and change our names’ I asked wildly, pleading with my eyes. Jack cradled my face in his shaking hands.

  ‘You are amazing, for even thinking that,’ he said honestly, his blue eyes were timeless, sparkling pools of emotion. I could feel myself becoming lost in those eyes.

  ‘Right now, I can’t think of anything I would want more, I feel this urge to protect you, and I want to be there for you day and night to keep you safe and make you happy,’ he said softly stroking my tangled hair. His face grew serious and brooding.

  ‘But will he let it go? Will he stop, just because of a little confrontation with me and the lads?’ he shook his head darkly, irritated by the situation.

  ‘No, we need to get rid of him, somehow. Or give him something else to become obsessed with. I’m also determined to get your job back; your headmistress needs to understand that she has been conned. She was wrong to let you go, I’m not going to sit here and let your career be ruined just because of this dodgy, so-called reverend’ He said intensely. My heart swelled and softened. He wanted to take care of me, how many times had he saved me already?

  ‘It’s too dangerous now, to try and use you as bait,’ he started, I felt a little relief at his words, knowing that I was not part of his plan to catch Tom.

  ‘I’ve got people looking for him as we speak, and hopefully, they will find something. In the meantime, you are going to stay with your parents, don’t tell them what’s going on if you feel uncomfortable bringing them into this, but you must stay with them,’ he said firmly, his eyes locked onto mine. I nodded quietly. He was right; I needed to get away and go somewhere I felt safe. The fact that I felt safe with Jack didn’t mean I should stay with him, me and my panic attacks were enough to drag the strongest man down. And Jack needed to rest.

  ‘I’m so sorry about all this,’ I said, tears welling up in my eyes. ‘You don’t have to be part of any of this, you could be dating any other woman and not deal with any of this drama,’ I said sadly, Jack gave a slight laugh.

  ‘In my experience -not that it is vast when it comes to women- but the many people I have met through my work, I have come to learn that everyone has drama in their life. A lot of it is hair-curling. This is more common than you might think,’ I gave Jack a look of disbelief at his well-placed lie.

  ‘Oh, and I’m sure you’ve heard about loads of girls who are stalked by a guy who then tries to kidnap them,’ I said dryly. Jack raised his eyebrows at me.

  ‘Are you kidding? Possessive, controlling boyfriend who can’t let go when the girl wants nothing to do with him? Oldest story in the book!’ he said trying to sound light. We both averted our eyes, sighing heavily.

  ‘What would we be doing now, if Tom didn’t even exist?’ I asked, hoping to coax some happy thoughts out of Jack. He smiled to himself and looked at me again. ‘You know that date I planned, that was ruined by your ignorant headmistress and psychotic boyfriend?’ he asked, I shook my head with a frown.

  ‘He was never my boyfriend,’ I said hotly. Jack gave me an incredulous look.

  ‘You came back with a ring on your finger, and what was that all about anyway? That seriously messed with my head,’ he said, suddenly serious now, the hurt and confusion showing in his eyes. I bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders.

  ‘Tom is very sweet when he wan
ts to be,’ I began in a timid voice. ‘And I was scared and confused, he didn’t give me any information that could be of use, at least, I figured they were more lies anyway, he rambled on about his mother for a while, trying to justify his actions in the past weeks, he wanted me to be a stay at home mother to our six children,’

  ‘And you didn’t want to run away screaming for your freedom at that point?’ Jack butted in a look of genuine surprise.

  ‘No! I mean, yes! Well, I don’t know!’ I said, confused.

  ‘I was angry that he wanted to control me like that, the fact that he didn’t take my feelings into consideration was hurtful, and at that time I just thought he was mad, his logic was skewed by his incomprehensible perception,’ I explained, impressed by my own words.

  ‘I honestly thought I could pose as his fiancé and he would be able to open up to me, showing me something that I could use for my advantage,’ I said, thinking aloud.

  ‘Then why did you change your mind?’ Jack asked, ‘I mean, it’s wasn’t a bad plan,’ he reasoned.

  ‘I spoke to my mum,’ I offered in a small voice with a shy smile. Jack nodded.

  ‘I bet she went mental,’ he said, amused. I laughed in response.

  ‘My mother doesn’t go mental,’ I countered humorously. ‘But she did tell me to call it off and stay away from the guy, little did I know that he was standing on my driveway the whole time I was speaking to her on the phone,’ I said, a sickness coming over me as I thought about it.

  ‘Well, I guess that makes sense now, I just thought things were going well between us,’ Jack started, his eyes avoiding mine.

  ‘I mean, I feel this… I don’t know; I just feel like you feel it too… and I just can’t help it; I want to be there for you, I want to kiss you and hold you and-’ Jack reeled off and stopped short with colour rising in his cheeks as he smiled. He looked back at me; I was grinning at him, soaking in his words.

  A silence fell over us like a warm blanket and the room became very still. The stress of the events leading up to that point, and the intensity of my emotions towards Jack overwhelmed me. I caressed his face, starting at his forehead which jutted out over his eyes and down his temples and soft cheeks. My fingers hovered over his lips, and I stared at them, licking mine instinctively. Then, Jack lurched forward and captured my lips in a passionate kiss. It was explosive with emotion as he fiercely moved his lips over mine. I grabbed his back, holding him close to me as we kissed and feeling bolts of energy charging through my veins. I moaned into the kiss, and he grunted as he rubbed his hands up and down my back, holding the back of my head gently. Cascades of passion flowed down my body and rose again to my head. I felt dizzy and out of breath as we parted. He looked at me, his face flushed and eyes bright, smiling. I smiled shyly at him, my face burning.