by Kat Zaccard
Jack touched my arm and nodded toward the exit. When we got outside, we turned up the path that led between the coliseum and orchards and into the college campus. He pointed out the dorms and the dozen or so college buildings. The campus was lovely, with large lawns and giant trees dotted here and there. Beyond the campus more paths led off to staff housing and the small village of Dryden. We took another path off into the woods and hiked in silence for about half an hour. I was thoroughly lost by the time we’d stopped at the edge of a small clearing.
“Okay,” Jack said, “this is where we will practice. We are still a territorial species by nature, and this spot is part of the land behind my cabin and is, technically, mine. Non-student adults are permitted about five acres each. We are a pack species, but with so many werewolves from all over, it helps keep the peace if we each have a little space to call our own.” I probably had a question or two, but I tried to ignore the image of Jack the wolf running around marking trees. I swallowed a laugh, and Jack cleared his throat, ignoring it.
I spent an hour trying to change into a wolf before I screamed in frustration as Jack changed effortlessly in front of me yet again. The tawny-gold wolf tilted his head, then trotted toward me. His muzzle bumped my hand, and I stared into his golden eyes.
I can’t do it! I thought angrily.
Jack turned back into a human. I quickly looked away.
“Yes, you can.”
My head jerked back to him. “What did you say?” Thankfully, he wore pants.
“I said of course you can!” He pulled on his T-shirt, muffling the last few words.
“But how do you know what I’m thinking?”
Jack’s brow wrinkled, then, with a shrug, he laughed. “Alice, I can see it all over your face. Now, the first time you shifted, what was your motivating feeling?”
I flopped my arms with a sigh. “I don’t know. I wasn’t trying to turn into a wolf. I barely believed it was possible before.”
“Hmm, and now you know it’s real. I get it.” He tapped his chin.
“Hey, Jack, I know what’s wrong!” called Kulani. She jogged toward us, her long, black hair waving behind her. She sped up as she drew closer and tackled Jack into the dirt with an “oomph” from him and a laughing ball of purple-and-green skirts from her.
She tumbled over him, giggling, then sat up with a smile. “You’re taking it way too seriously,” she said to him. “And you’re embarrassed to be naked,” she added, matter-of-factly.
I blushed, knowing she was right. She stood, brushed off her skirt, then offered Jack a hand up. “Now, you go off to the cabin and see about marinating those steaks. I have a raspberry tart in the fridge you can pull out. Maybe put on a kettle for tea in a bit? Let me and Alice here have some girl time. Now, shoo!”
“Well, I know when I’m not wanted.” Jack smiled and, picking up his flannel, headed off to the house.
Kulani turned back to me. “It’s really all mind games, I think.” she smiled, and I wondered if she meant “shifting” or “mates,” but didn’t have the courage to ask.
Instead, I grumbled, “I’ve been trying for an hour.”
“Yes, but you already know you can do it. You know you have done it. You know the moon is there, even though it’s day. You weren’t raised knowing you were a wolf, and stripping down in front of others isn’t part of your culture. That will be your biggest hurdle. Trust me. You can do this. Tell me about your first shift.” Her eyes were a deep purple, and they held my gaze steady as I told her the story. I felt nervous and unsure, rubbing my shoulders awkwardly. I looked away when I was finished.
“Okay, take me through it again.” And again, I recounted my first transformation, as Kulani watched my facial changes intently. She was thoughtful for a moment before she spoke. “You were running.” She’d said it almost to herself. “Survival instinct, escape and fear. Fear can be a powerful motivation to change. The goal here is to tap into that instinct without needing the fear trigger. Sit quietly and listen to your breath. Clear your mind. Now see yourself shifting. Try to recreate as much detail in your mind’s eye as you can. Smell the water and the woods, see the light through the trees, notice the feeling in your heart. See the wolf inside you.”
I felt a shimmering swish of air and opened my eyes to see Kulani in wolf form before me, sleek black with the same purple eyes. She lowered her head to the ground and growled playfully at me, kicking her skirt off of her hindquarters. I smiled and tried to hold onto that feeling of the shimmer, the almost-sound it made, the rush of the wind through the woods as I ran. I stared into Kulani’s wolf eyes, concentrating. I’d seen it, I’d done it, and I finally believed it.
The world seemed to fade and disappear, I blinked, and in that moment, a rush sizzled through my nervous system. My entire being sang. I opened my eyes, and the color of the world had changed, sounds and scents sharpened, and a wolf yipped excitedly nearby. She was bigger than me in wolf form. I growled at her, the wolf in me threatened, and she ducked her head in submission. Whoa. She covered her violet eyes with her paws. If a wolf could laugh, that’s the sound I made.
I heard something inside me say, Hold onto your humanity.
My eyes widened. I can hear you. Kulani the wolf gave me a wolfish grin.
Now we are pack, my queen. Then she nipped at my front paw and chased me around the clearing. I feinted left, then whirled right to catch her off guard. Soon, I was chasing her. I started to tire and gave one last leap towards Kulani, catching her hindquarters and sending us both rolling over each other, landing in a heap. We each got up and shook head to tail. Kulani shimmered and was a woman again.
I looked at her violet eyes, then shook my body again, remembering the feel of my hair on my human skin. The colors of the world squeezed through a prism. I blinked, then opened my eyes, a girl once again.
“That was great!” exclaimed Kulani, jumping up and down excitedly. “Let’s get dressed and head back for a snack.” I averted my eyes, embarrassed again.
“Wait. Explain the whole telepathy thing!” I insisted. Pulling on my mangled T-shirt, I was grateful my flowy yoga pants were still intact.
“Oh, that. Yeah, well, that was only a little unexpected, but probably another thing you should keep quiet about, actually. I’m impressed you have the skill, though I had wondered if you’d inherit the alpha power from your mother. And we will have to work on your shielding, because you are kind of a loud broadcaster.” Rolling her eyes at my modesty, she also dressed. I noted the benefit of wearing a sarong as she easily wrapped the green-and-purple skirt around her waist.
“Kulani, what are you babbling about?” My mother was a telepathic werewolf? What the hell?
She laughed, pulling back her long, black hair into a ponytail. “Okay, here’s the thing. Only a true alpha can gather a pack. Your mother was such a queen. She invites the telepathic communication, and through her, the pack can communicate while in wolf form. In this way, the queen is the general, so to speak, and can send out troops without speaking wolf.”
“Speaking wolf?” There was too much to catch up on. We were fully dressed now and heading back to their cabin. The picturesque cottage had an assortment of flowering potted plants and trellised vines winding around the wrap-around porch. It had a swing and everything. I could smell the raspberry tart from here and assumed Jack must have warmed it up in the oven.
“Yeah, you know, that’s how we communicate with each other. The growls, yips, and tail movements all translate into language in your wolf mind. Not actual words, exactly, but you can communicate and move as a pack. Whereas, what you do is totally different. You’re an alpha; a True Alpha. You’re not just speaking wolf, you’re literally transmitting thoughts.” Kulani opened the cabin door and invited me inside. Jack jumped up from his seat to greet his wife with a kiss. He barely glanced at me as he pulled out a chair and offered Kulani a cup of tea. He seemed to pick up our thread of conversation easily enough.
“Okay, so in wolf form,
I can hear you in actual words in my mind,” I clarified one more time.
“Yes, at close range. And over time, you can develop a stronger connection with trusted pack members that allows you to send and receive messages from a greater distance. It’s all relative to the leader,” Kulani confirmed.
“But, we will have to work on shielding you,” Jack jumped in.
“Why?” Kulani had said the same thing earlier.
Jack had that look again like when he realized I could change without the full moon assist. “Alice, the actual reigning queen has no telepathic power. Her supporters deny the necessity, but those who oppose her reign call her the False Queen. No one says that out loud, of course. Those who do tend to disappear.”
I was getting angrier at this queen. “So corruption is everywhere, huh? Why don’t people object? Isn’t there a vote or something?”
“Anxious to wear the crown?” Kulani teased. She sliced large pieces of tart for each of us, and scooped whipped coconut cream over the top.
“God, no. But I would vote for someone other than Queen Christina,” I said as I accepted my piece. Taking a bite, I almost missed what Jack said next. The tart was heavenly.
“Well, you actually could,” said Jack. “Only members of the High Council are allowed to vote on laws. The head of each royal family is allowed a seat by ancient law. In recent years, other seats were added to reward non-royal supporters of the crown. Members of the High Council voted in new seats for various reasons. Some did so to allow more fairness in Court, others for political clout. It’s an age-old scheme.”
“And some of the royal families have died out, so their seats were bought by families that are old and have money, but aren’t technically royal,” added Kulani.
“Let me guess, that’s how the Reynolds family got a seat.” I took another bite of the raspberry tart, and for a moment forgot all of my worries. Kulani could seriously bake.
“Exactly. And with Christina acting as Queen Regent, the Reynolds family actually has two seats on the council. Her mother, Barbara Reynolds, is seated on the Reynolds’ chair, while Christina holds the throne. The throne is technically the Luna chair,” Kulani said between bites.
“Your father in his brief reign as King Regent tried to petition a seat for Clan Winterstone and later for a publicly elected official,” said Jack. “He was unsuccessful both times and some fear that his assassination was a direct result to his pro-inclusion policies.”
“Wait, my father was assassinated?” I put down my fork. Kulani scowled at Jack, quietly reprimanding his lack of tact.
“Well, there’s no proof. The official story is a hunting accident, but I knew your father and had hunted with him. I have a hard time believing a wild boar took him down.”
Kulani’s face softened, and she grasped Jack’s arm as if she felt his pain. Her eyes mirrored the cloud that crossed his.
“A boar?”
“That’s the official story, but then you went missing. I fear that your father’s accident so soon after your mother’s death was too coincidental.”
“There’s no proof of that,” Kulani reminded me again. She gave Jack a pointed look, then said to me, “I knew your father, too. He was brave, kind, and honorable. He loved your mother deeply. He used to bring her fresh-cut roses from the garden every morning. She bragged about it in her letters to me.” Kulani laughed, a faraway smile dancing across her features. I appreciated that she was trying to give me a pleasant image of my birth family, since all of the others were bathed in blood.
“It’s weird hearing about my birth parents,” I said. “Before I knew anything about them, I resented them and longed for them at the same time. Now that I know they’re dead, well … I guess I feel the same way, but …” I sighed. I didn’t know how to explain the churning in my guts when I heard about an action or a characteristic that made them more real to me than the abstract picture I had formed in my mind.
“Hey, it’s okay, Princess.” Jack put a brotherly arm around my shoulder. “It’s going to take time. And you should know, whatever else, your parents loved you.”
“Did you know them well, Jack?”
“I did,” he said quietly, looking down. After a moment, he looked up with a smile. “Harry would never admit it, but he cheated at cards.”
Kulani gasped and pinched Jack’s arm, but the red in her cheeks confirmed Jack’s accusation. She claimed it was habit after losing to my mother for years. “She could read his mind and knew what cards he had. He could pick up on her smug self-assurance, then quick-pull a card out of his sleeve to throw her off.” She laughed. “It never worked.”
“It worked on me all the time!” countered Jack. They were both smiling at the memory of my parents’ younger days. They traded stories about my parents for my benefit. My mother could run faster. My dad worked intelligence operations with Jack before their marriage.
The somber mood had lifted as clouds played tag overhead. We finished our dessert and spent another hour practicing shifting. I tried to send then censor my thoughts to Jack and Kulani. I tried not to worry that they were perhaps getting a deeper glimpse into my head than I wanted. Vague images of my parents acting like real flesh and blood people skipped through my thoughts. When we were heading back to the school, they assured me I could only send the information I wanted to send. However, with people I trusted, I might subconsciously send more thoughts than I realized. But they reassured me that if they saw more than I’d intended, it was a subtle acknowledgement of trust. Jack and Kulani promised my secrets were safe with them. I believed them, and I was grateful.
Chapter 6
That evening at dinner, Den Mother Grissle was especially hawk-eyed as she patrolled the tables. The chatter flowed in a steady din, but a hush seemed to follow Ms. Grissle as she wove around the large banquet tables, picking up again more quickly as gossip swirled in eddies around the girls leaning in closer. Everyone assumed the Den Mother had heard about the altercation between me and Jillian the other day, regardless of the attempts to keep it quiet. I guessed gossip would flow no matter what, but at least we avoided punishment. Shea and I were determined to ignore the looks from Jillian and her friends and hadn’t noticed another werewolf approach our table until she gave a soft cough. We looked up to see a thoughtful expression on beautiful dark face with a few freckles scattered across her nose, and two wide round eyes as black as night.
The girl put a hand on her hip, the barrettes at the ends of her tightly woven braids of twisted black-and-purple clacked together as she tilted her head and asked, “So is it true you decked Jillian Reynolds, or what?” I looked around to see where Ms. Grissle, was hoping she hadn’t overheard. The girl laughed a little. “You can punch the queen’s daughter, but you’re afraid of the Mizz Grizz?”
“Hey, shush. Be quiet, Hayley,” Shea scolded, pulling her into an empty seat next to her.
“Hi, I’m Alice,” I said, sticking out my hand.
“Hayley Rhodes,” she replied with a smile and a firm squeeze. Her black eyes sparkled and seemed to refract a rainbow as they danced. “So, you don’t look like the scrappy type. Is this because she’s trying to steal your man-wolf? What, did she ask him to the Fall Fling or something?” She laughed again, which somehow softened the direct questions. And to be honest, I’d rather someone flat-out asked me what happened, rather than whisper all around the room about me. I was starting to feel just a bit more singled out than the average new girl. Other than Shea and Sara, Hayley was the first girl in the dorm to show me any direct interest. I shrugged, then said as much to Shea and Hayley.
“Well, that’s because everyone else is scared to piss off Jillian and her potential, though increasingly unlikely, future court,” scoffed Hayley with a dismissive hand to the table of debutants surrounding the queen’s daughter.
Shea looked down at her lap and muttered, “It doesn’t help that I hang out with you, either.”
Hayley caught the gesture out of the corner of her eye and qu
ickly turned her annoyance on Shea. “Now don’t you go listening to any of that garbage coming out of Jillian’s mouth, Shea! You are not a pariah! She’s a bully and a bitch, and you need to forget about any of her pranks.”
Shea looked up angrily and opened her mouth to fight back. Then comprehension dawned on her features, and she laughed instead. “You always do that!” she accused.
Hayley shrugged. “Better to get mad than be ashamed. She has no right to treat you like second-class just because you’re a Winterstone.” She turned to me to explain, “Last year, when Shea arrived, Jillian was just awful to her. She spread rumors and played pranks. She got almost everyone talking about her and, no offense or anything, but it looks like that’s her M.O. with you, too, Alice.”
Shea tried to laugh, but it came out a little strangled. “At least you’ve been warned, Alice, don’t take directions from Jillian Reynolds.”
Hayley looked angry, “Jillian got Shea lost in the mountains beyond the school grounds her first week here. No one knew she was missing until dinner.”
Shea looked mortified. “Jack found me around midnight, crying under a tree.” She swept her rosy-gold curls off her face and pulled her shoulders back. “Anyway, the best you can do is keep your head up and try to avoid her,” Shea advised sagely.
“Yeah, that may be easier said than done for me,” I grumbled and nodded toward Jillian who had pushed away from her table and sauntered toward us.
“Full moon tomorrow night, Alice. Better watch your back.” She flipped her sheet of ice blonde hair over her shoulder and walked off to dispose of her tray. Her cronies were hot on her heels, giggling and oh-so accidentally bumping our table as they passed.
I grabbed my juice before any more sloshed out and tried not to reveal my own secret smile. Jillian assumed I’d never changed before, that I was scared to pieces about my first full moon. Hmm, that reveals a little more about her fears than mine, I thought.
