He’s too everything.
It’s like he can see past all of my shit and down to the scared girl I still protect on the inside.
“Hey, Ash,” Alex calls from behind me. “Food’s up.”
“Oh, okay.” Heading back to the kitchen, I grab the two plates of wings and carry them back out to Ryan and Tyler. Placing them down, I get a smile from Ty, but not Ryan.
What is his problem with me being here?
I can’t keep playing this battle of wills. I know I won’t win. Sighing, I push a few stray curls away from my face and continue on down to another customer.
“Hey, gorgeous, I haven’t seen you here before.”
“Because I’m not from here. What can I get for you?”
“Whiskey. Neat. And you.”
Internally rolling my eyes, I force a smile as I pour his drink. “Sorry, I can only provide the drink. Nothing else.”
“Come on, darling. I can show you around if you’re new. Where’re you from?”
“I don’t need showing around. I’ve been here before. Do you have a tab?”
“You’ve been here before? I would have remembered seeing a beautiful woman like you if you had.”
“It was last summer. Do you have a tab?”
“I’ll start one,” he says, smiling. He’s cute I guess, but my mind is on the man a few seats down. When the guy hands me a credit card, I make sure not to touch his hand as I slip it from his pinched fingers. “I’m Jeff.”
“Let me know if you need anything else,” I tell him, finally making my escape to the computer.
Eventually, Ryan relaxes, and I see him out of the corner of my eye smiling as he talks to Tyler. My God, that smile could make me do anything, no matter what it was, or where I was.
“Ash?” I hear a distant voice call.
“Ash?” Louder now, I snap my eyes back to the drink I was pouring and see that I basically filled the whole thing with vodka.
Shit.
Alex nudges me, and gives me a knowing look. “So, Ryan?”
“What?”
“What’s the story there? He’s been watching you all night.”
“He has?” I ask innocently. “I haven’t noticed.”
“Bullshit.”
“Okay, I have. What’s your point?”
“Nothing.” He shrugs, smiling. “It just seems odd, that’s all. Ry is a private guy. And he’s acting like a jealous boyfriend because you’re working back here where all the guys can easily watch you, and flirt with you.”
“Oh my God, Alex.” I groan, rolling my eyes. “What’re you, a girl? There’s nothing happening.”
Chuckling, he starts to pour a drink for the pretty woman in front of us. “Whatever you say.”
“Yes. It is whatever I say,” I huff, pouring the excess vodka into another glass and putting it aside for later. I’ll definitely be making myself a drink after tonight. First, for helping out, and second, because I need it.
When it comes time for last call, the people remaining sway up to the bar to close their tabs.
“Hello again, beautiful.” Great. It’s the guy from before. Jeff?
“Hi. I’ll close you out.” Printing out his receipt, I hand it to him along with his card, and he grabs my whole hand, pulling me forward.
“Why don’t you tell me your name, beautiful?”
“Because it doesn’t matter.” I force myself to not jerk my hand away and call him a bunch of names. I need to stay calm.
“It does to me.” He winks, rubbing his thumb across my skin.
Ugh. No.
“I’m not really looking for anything right now,” I say, trying to gently pull my hand away, but he won’t budge. He just tightens his grip.
“What a coincidence. Me either.” He flashes me a smile I’m sure usually works ninety nine percent of the time. Too bad I’m in that one percent that’s not falling for it.
“I mean, at all. So I’m going to need my hand back.” I again try and pull it away, but he doesn’t budge.
“We could just grab drinks.”
“She said no,” a deep, angry voice says next to the guy. I didn’t even see him walk up.
“Oh, Ryan, dude. Hey, how are you?”
“Let go of her and I’ll be fine.” He gives Jeff a hard look that would make any man wither.
Releasing me, I rub my hand to get the blood flowing again. I hadn’t realized how hard he was gripping me.
“You okay, Ash?” Ryan asks, his eyes still on Jeff.
“Yeah.”
“Get out of here, Jeff. And listen when a woman says no.”
Nodding, he grabs his card, and leaves a twenty on the bar for me. “Sorry,” he mumbles, walking away with his head down.
“Get your shit, Ashley. You’re done for the night.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” His voice is barely concealing his anger as he moves his hard gaze from the back of Jeff’s retreating figure to me. “Grab your stuff.”
“It’s fine, Ash,” Alex says, coming up next to me and nodding at Ryan. “I can handle the rest. Thanks for the help tonight.” He hands me a wad of cash and I shove it in my back pocket.
“Sure. It was no problem. See you soon, I guess?”
“Yeah.”
A low growl sounds next to me and I know Ryan is losing his patience.
Good, so am I. With him.
Heading back into that small room off of the bar, I put my sweater back on and shove my arms inside my coat. Looping my scarf around my neck loosely, I grab my purse from the cabinet below, and sling it over my shoulder.
The second I open the door that leads back out to the main part of The Rusty Anchor, he’s right there, waiting for me. “Let’s go,” he says, placing his hand on the small of my back, pushing me towards the front entrance.
“What’s your problem?”
“Just walk,” he says, growling in my ear.
I can feel the searing heat of his touch through all the layers separating us, and my steps hurry, even though all I want to do is defy him.
It’s a reflex to want to do the opposite of what he says.
The few people left milling around pay us no attention as I’m all but pushed out the door. But he doesn’t stop there. Leading me over to his big black pickup, Ryan opens the passenger door, and practically lifts, and throws, me inside.
“Ry–” I start, but I’m cut off by the slamming of the door.
What the hell?
When he gets in behind the wheel, he doesn’t even look at me as he starts the truck and throws it in drive.
Staring at him wide-eyed, I can’t hold back any longer. “Ryan, what the fuck is your problem? I drove here, and I can drive home. Turn around.”
“No,” he says harshly. “Why were you working there tonight?”
“That’s what this is about?”
“All the men in there wanted you, Ashley. And you started a fight last night. Why did you go back?”
“I was hungry, if you must know. Which, by the way, you have no right to know.”
“And how did food turn into bartending?”
“Alex had a call-out, so I offered to help. I didn’t want to just go back to an empty house.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“I don’t know why I’m here,” I mumble.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Why did you come back?”
“Am I not allowed to visit my friend? Did you think you’d never have to see me again? You’re a little full of yourself if you think me coming here has anything to do with you.”
A small, sarcastic smile plays on his full, sexy lips, and I want nothing more than to slap him, and then kiss him. “I didn’t think you came back for me. I’m not that self-centered. I just meant, why did you run away to Pine Cove in the dead of winter?”
“I didn’t run away.” Looking out the window, I swipe my finger through the foggy condensation.
; “That look on your face says otherwise.”
“There’s no look.”
“There is.”
“Ryan, please. Just drive.” I sigh, and then it hits me. “Wait. What am I saying? Take me back to my car. I’m not leaving it at the bar. How am I supposed to get it back?”
“I’ll take you tomorrow.”
“What? No. Turn around.”
“Nope,” he says, shaking his head.
“Why are you being so weird?”
Silence. He doesn’t answer me. He just keeps that sly smile on his lips as he drives down the dark roads towards the cottage. Crossing my arms over my chest, I watch the wall of black whirl by.
Turning into the driveway, the air in the truck starts to change. The static charge makes the hair on my arms stand, and I keep darting my eyes over to Ryan to see if he can feel it too.
He shifts in his seat, and tightens his grip on the steering wheel.
The crunching of the gravel beneath the tires is the only sound filling my ears, and the driveway starts to feel like it’s miles long. When we finally get to the end and he parks, I look around in the dark to see if anything is out there. But all I get is black.
“I’m tired from tonight. So, I’ll see you around. And don’t worry about my car, I’ll just ask Ally to take me.”
“I don’t mind. I’m the one who made you come with me.”
“Yes, you did. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t matter. Goodnight.”
Reaching out, Ryan grabs my arm before I can open the door. “It matters,” he says, his voice low. Meeting his eyes, I can see that he’s waging some sort of battle on the inside. “And you know why.”
My mind is blank. I can’t think straight when he’s looking at me like this. “Why what?”
“You know exactly why I’m driving you home. You know exactly why I’m mad that you had men all over you last night, and tonight. And you know exactly why I want to carry you inside right now and push you up against the wall.”
“I really don’t,” I whisper, my heart racing, my skin hot.
“You’re pretending it didn’t affect you, but I know you’ve thought about me. I know you’ve been thinking about me.”
“You’re not the first man to think that I’m just pretending not to like them,” I tell him, then mumble under my breath, “At least you didn’t force yourself on me.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“Who forced you?” His one hand tightens on the steering wheel, and his jaw ticks.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, pulling my arm free. “Bye, Ryan.”
“Ashley, wait!” he calls as I slam the door shut on him, quickly walking up the porch steps.
Fumbling around with my keys, my hands shake, and they fall, clattering against the wood.
“Ashley.” Ryan’s voice floods my ears, and I jump when I feel him grab my arm and spin me towards him.
When he takes a step forward, I take one back, trying to maintain a safe distance. But he follows me, the look in his eyes like that of a cheetah stalking its prey.
“Ashley,” he says again, and my eyes lift to his. Big mistake. His blue eyes are glowing, the battle he’s waging on the inside starting to show. “Don’t be afraid.”
I flinch at his words. “I’m not.”
“You are. But you’re safe with me.”
“I’m not, and you know that. Just let me go.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You know why. You just keep denying it.”
“I can’t deny something that I have no idea what–”
His lips crash down on mine, silencing the rest of my words. The excuses I had at the ready all fly out of my head as the heat of Ryan’s lips sear mine.
The tiny electric currents I felt being near him turn into full blown synapse malfunction. My body feels like it could power the whole town.
Ryan pushes me up against the door, and I melt into the kiss. His hands cradle my face like I’m precious, but his lips mold to mine like he wants to break me.
My hands grip his coat, pulling him towards me further, the below freezing air doesn’t even faze me anymore with the heat being given off by our bodies.
It’s even better than I remember.
His lips. His kiss.
I feel like I’m both floating on air, and drowning in the deepest of waters.
Ryan Taylor knows how to kiss a woman.
When his tongue slides against the seam of my lips, I moan, and tighten my grip on his coat to the point of numbness. Groaning, he slips his tongue past my lips and sweeps into my mouth.
If I wasn’t already pushed against the door, I would be melting into the porch where we stand.
Kissing Ryan feels like the first time all over again. I feel like I’ve never been kissed before this moment.
Tilting my head, Ryan moves me how he wants me. He takes this kiss from me–he takes everything–and I don’t mind. I want him to. I need him to.
Every fantasy I’ve had over the past seven months don’t even come close to the real thing.
But Ryan pulls away just as quick as he took me. Panting, the white clouds of our mixed breaths in the cold air fills my vision, and I catch glimpses of his blazing blue eyes in the hazy mist.
“You felt it then, and you feel it now. I’m not letting you pretend anymore.”
“I’m not,” I pant, still heaving my breaths in and out.
Chuckling, he shakes his head lightly and smiles. “I can read you better than you think, sweetheart.” Releasing me, he bends down and picks up my keys. Reaching for my hand, he turns it over and places them in my open palm, brushing his fingers against my sensitive skin, sending shivers up my arm. “I’ll see you soon.”
Nodding, I close my hand around the keys and watch as he takes a step back, and then another, before he turns and walks back to his truck.
What just happened?
Did I dream that?
Pressing my fingertips to my swollen lips, I can still feel Ryan’s heat, and his taste.
It was real.
Fuck. I’m screwed.
Chapter 6
Waking the next morning, I stretch out in the bed and yawn, loving the feeling of soft sheets against my skin. Curling back into the covers, it takes my foggy brain a few seconds to remember what happened last night.
Groaning, I flop onto my back and stare at the ceiling. Why did he have to kiss me like that? Why did I even come here? I have to leave soon to go back to my real life, and I don’t need the feeling of Ryan’s lips on mine flooding my brain every second of the day for the rest of my life.
Throwing the sheets off, I slip my feet into my slippers, and shuffle down the hall to the kitchen. I need coffee. I can’t process this without caffeine.
While it’s brewing, I take a nice hot shower to warm my body, and wake me up further. I hate to admit that I hate the idea of washing off any trace of Ryan, but my chilly bones demand warmth.
Dressing in sweats again, I throw my wet hair up into a bun and I pour myself a mug of coffee, adding a little cream and sugar. Shuffling back down the hall to the living room, I settle into the couch. I don’t feel like going anywhere today.
Oh, shit. My car! Damn it!
Groaning, I go in search of my phone, but something catches my eye outside the window. What the hell?
Opening the front door, I find my little Toyota parked right where it was last night before I went out.
Did I really dream all of that then?
No, I couldn’t have.
Did Ryan bring it back?
Shaking my head, I close the door before I freeze to death, and go and find my phone. Messages from Ally are blowing it up, and I laugh, swiping her name to call her.
“Ashley!” she yells, answering right away. “I’m so sorry I missed your texts last night! I, uh, got a little distracted with Jake.”
“Gross. And yeah, I figured. It’s fine. I just went to grab
dinner at The Rusty Anchor, and then ended up helping Alex out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I bartended. It was fun, actually. Until Ryan walked in and sat with his brother at the bar the rest of the night.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes! And then he got all mad when some fuck-tard wouldn’t take no as an answer when he was hitting on me, and got all chivalrous and shit. Was it hot and sexy? Yes. But super unnecessary. I can handle myself.”
“Of course you can, Ash. You know guys get possessive, though, and feel like they have to pee a circle around what’s theirs so all other guys know to stay away.”
“But I’m not his to pee around.”
“Don’t you want to be?”
“Ally, I live six hours away in New Jersey! I may want to jump his bones, and we have this intense chemistry I can’t explain, but I don’t know anything about him.”
“Wow, you’re as good at lying to yourself as I was.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Do you want me to come over today?”
“No, it’s okay. I think I’ll just read or watch TV again.”
“Okay, well you’re meeting me for dinner then. Seven o’clock at Anthony’s, okay?”
“Fine, bitch, whatever.”
Chuckling, she says, “See you then.”
“See you.” Hanging up, I sit on the couch and grab the remote, but my phone buzzes with a new message.
Morning, sweetheart. I brought your car back for you, so you don’t have to worry.
Something flares in my chest when I read his words. I don’t know if it’s the ‘sweetheart,’ or the fact that he’s being nice.
I didn’t ask you to do that. I was going to figure it out.
Now you don’t have to.
I don’t need your help, Ryan.
Why can’t you just say ‘thank you?’
I don’t know! Tossing my phone over to the other end of the couch, I throw my head back against the cushions. What’s wrong with me? I’m acting so unlike myself and I hate it. Why does it feel like defeat if I thank him for doing something nice for me?
I never let men get to me. It’s usually the other way around. I’m the one in control. I’m the one to say when and where it happens, or doesn’t. But Ryan has blown all of that out of the water.
He’s in control. He’s slowly stripping me of everything I’ve known for the past eight years, and I both love it, and don’t.
Her Maine Reaction Page 6
