by K. C. Cross
I kick him with my hoof. “Dude. Nothing is that funny.”
But this is when I realize that both he and Pie are still in their chimera forms.
I should’ve been paying attention to this. Because Pie is still topless. Her long hair is pretty much covering all the good bits up top, but now that I watch her, I don’t think she understands she has no pants on. And no fur down there.
Suddenly I’m laughing too. Guffawing like an idiot. Because this is why Tomas thinks everything is so funny. He’s got a perfect view between her legs. And Pie is not being ladylike as she sits. Her gangly legs are all over the place.
“For fuck’s sake. You two are like children. Play the game with me!” Then she pulls her knees up and balances the iron machine on top of them so she can play with the knobs.
Tomas loses it again.
“Pie.”
She glances at me, annoyed. “What?”
I point down. “You do realize that you have no pants on.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “I’m wearing fur.”
“Yeah, but…” I grin at her, all teeth. “Not down there you’re not.”
She looks down, realizes she’s been giving Tomas pussy shots all day and that’s why he’s so happy, and then blushes so bright, it turns me on.
“Ooops!” She rearranges her legs so she’s sitting on her butt, knees together. Then she casually arranges her long hair over her breasts, and looks at me. “Truth or dare?”
“I don’t get it.”
She squints at me. “You’ve never played?”
“No. How’s it go?”
She rubs her hands together. “Oh, this is gonna be fun. You have to choose truth or dare. Do you want to answer a question that we ask? Truthfully.” She holds up a finger, like this is a sticking point. “Or do you want to do a dare?”
“A dare?”
“Yeah. Like… I dare you to… go over to the window and yell, ‘I have a small penis!’ to the people down below.”
Tomas loses it again.
I also chuckle. “Pie.” I point to my package. “It’s not small. You know this. It’s been inside you.”
Pie gasps, but Tomas sits up. “Fuck. I forgot about that!” He falls back onto his pillow. “Aww, man. I miss out on everything.”
I reach over and pat his dragon-scale leg. “Sorry, friend. You snooze, you lose.”
“The point is,” Pie seethes, “it’s a dare, you jerk. And if you choose dare, then you have to do it. Even if you don’t want to. And stop talking about our sex life. It’s rude.”
“I have to say things like that? Even if it’s a lie?”
She nods. Smugly. “Not just say things. I could make you…” She shrugs a little, blushes a little too. “Kiss my toes, for instance.”
Tomas is paying attention again. “Can I dare you to kiss my toes?”
We all look down at Tomas’s toes. Which are nothing close to toes, they are claws. “In my defense,” he says, “you two have hooves. So fuck you.”
Pie and I both laugh. “Forget the toe thing. Dare is just a dare. And new rule.” She side-eyes Tomas. “Since you’re gonna use the dare to please yourself.”
Now I laugh and take another smoke. This is getting fun. And that hazy high feeling has settled into something else. Happiness, I think. Though it’s been so long since I’ve had a day like this, I’m not sure I trust my recollection.
“New rule is… you cannot dare someone to do something to you or for you. Agreed?”
Tomas and I both agree.
“OK, here’s how it works. You pull this lever”—she demonstrates on the iron machine in her lap—“and then that dial thingy spins and lands on truth or dare. If it’s truth, the person who just went gets to ask you a question. If it’s dare, then the person who goes next gets to make up a dare. Who wants to go first?”
Tomas scrambles around the hookah, grabs the little machine, and is back on his pillow before Pie or I can say anything.
She looks over at me and laughs.
I like her laugh.
I like her, actually.
And today was pretty fun. It’s not even the sex, either. It’s that wood nymph body she’s wearing. I’m not mad at her. I’m not even frustrated with her that she’s not understanding things right. I wish we were kids together. I bet she would make a really great best friend.
Her smile is still bright. And she winks, then looks at Tomas. “You do realize that going first means you’re in the hot seat?”
“Huh?” Tomas is smashed out of his mind. “I go first. That means I’m in charge!”
“No.” Pie laughs. “You spin the dial, then one of us gets to truth-or-dare you.”
Tomas looks down at the game. “Fuck. I read that wrong.”
“Oh, my God.” Pie fakes exasperation. “You’re so stupid, Tomas!”
She likes Tomas. I know she likes Tomas. And he likes her too. A lot. I want to like Tomas. I’ve literally known him forever. It’s just… he’s a dangerous guy. At least out there he is. In here, he’s different. Fun and easygoing. Happy and carefree.
But when he’s his true self, you can’t trust him. Not even a little bit. That’s the mistake people always make with his kind. Well, what used to be his kind. He’s the last. But when they are in their base form, they are not anything close to human. They don’t recognize faces or scents. They will kill you and not think twice about it until they change back into another form and realize what they’ve done.
Tomas, not me, is the true monster of Saint Mark’s.
Hell, he might be the whole reason this cursed sanctuary exists.
Fine. Probably not. I pause my introspection to chuckle. But he’s definitely part of it.
“I got a truth.” Tomas turns the machine around so Pie and I can see it.
“OK, that’s you, Pell.”
“Wait.” I point at myself. “What’s me?”
“You have to ask him a question. You always pass to the right, so I go next. Which means you have to ask the truth question for Tomas.”
I spend a moment trying to sort those words out into something that makes sense, but then I just give up. I actually do have a question for Tomas. I would not say I’ve been wondering this, but I’ve been wondering this. “Have you ever had a woman, Tomas?”
“What?” That’s Pie. “Pell, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“What? It’s a question I have. I’ve never seen him with a woman. Or a man, if that’s what you’re into.”
“I’m not into men,” Tomas huffs. “And it’s hard to meet a woman when you’ve been stuck in a cursed dungeon for two thousand years.”
Pie looks at him. “You’ve never—”
“It’s not a big deal,” Tomas says. “I’m fine.” Pie is about to object, but he puts a hand up. “I’m not even human. And if you think this is me?” He points down at his dragon chimera body. “It’s not.”
“O. Kaaay.” Then Pie glares at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that? It was a legit question. I am curious.”
She shakes her head, takes the machine from Tomas, pulls the level to spin the dial. “Oh, great.” Her shoulders slump. “Dare.” Then she side-eyes me. No, glares at me. “You better not make me do anything stupid.”
“Wait, now I have to dare you something? How come I have to do all the work in this game? Am I the only one playing? What is happening?”
The rules come spilling out of her mouth again. “If it’s truth, the person who went before you gets to ask you a question. If it’s dare, then the person who goes next gets to make up a dare.”
“Fine. Whatever. Give me a minute.” Honestly, I’m really not in any condition to think and this makes me laugh.
“If you’re plotting something evil, I swear to God, Pell, I will—”
“Calm down. I’m not capable of plotting anything right now, let alone something evil.” But just as those words come out of my mouth… I get an evil idea.
And then,
because I have no filter at the moment, I actually say it out loud. “Pie Vita—Pie is Life—” Tomas and I both fall over laughing.
“I’m going to let Tomas do your job if you don’t stop it right now!”
“She’s cute when she’s mad, huh, Tomas?”
Tomas is lying down on his side, clutching his stomach again. “She’s so fucking cute.”
“What is the dare!” She screams it.
“Fine! I dare you to give Tomas his first kiss.”
“What?” She blinks at me.
“What?” Tomas sits up, suddenly keenly interested in the game. He cocks his head at me. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you telling her to kiss me?”
“Because you’ve been stuck in a cursed dungeon for two thousand years, she’s pretty, she’s funny, and she’s mine to command at the moment. And I would like to dare her to kiss you.”
“Whoa!” Pie puts up a hand. “I’m so not yours to command.”
My tone is deadpan. “You literally are. How many times do I have to remind you? Forget never being fucked, he’s never even been kissed, Pie. Kiss the man. Make it good, too. It might be the only one he ever gets.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - PIE
It’s not the dare that has me thinking. I will gladly kiss Tomas. I’m a little bit attracted to him. Have been since I first saw him on that second-story balcony the day I arrived here.
That’s not it.
It’s not that in Pell’s mind, this request falls more along the lines of a my-wish-is-your-command kind of thing instead of a dare in a game.
It’s not even the surprise of learning that Tomas has never been with a woman. Certainly, never been kissed is a little bit of a shock, since he’s so very handsome. But he’s cursed. It’s really hard to meet people when you’re not allowed to leave your monster sanctuary.
None of that is what makes me pause. It’s just Tomas himself.
He looks… scared. Which makes zero sense because it’s me. But before the words are even out of Pell’s mouth, Tomas is shaking his head and waving his hands and saying, “No. No. It’s not necessary.”
And Pell is saying, “This has nothing to do with necessary, Tomas. We all know you’re infatuated with my slave.”
My head swings over to Pell to shoot him a disapproving look regarding the slave comment, but we’re all kind of high on this hookah shit and I’m way too stoned to put any kind of effort into correcting him, so I’m willing to write this comment off as an in-the-moment faux pas instead of malicious ignorance.
“Pie,” Tomas says. I look back over. “It’s not you. I swear. I think you’re hot. I’d… you know. But I don’t want to do it like this.” But here is where it gets interesting. He looks over at Pell then. And it’s a weird look.
“Wait.” I feel like I’m a little bit behind here, but now I’m finally catching up. “Why are you looking at Pell like that?”
Tomas puts on that smile. I might be new here, but I recognize that smile. He’s a good-natured guy. He’s not moody and difficult like Pell, even though out in the real world, that’s the kind of guy Tomas probably would be. He’s far too attractive—like, supernaturally attractive—to be one of those aw-shucks guys.
Tomas has a darkness in him. Though he hides it well. Because I’m only just now noticing it.
“What?” And now Tomas is showing off his innocent smile. “What look?”
I point at him. “You’re hiding something. And if I wasn’t so shit-faced high, I’d figure out what it was.”
Pell groans. “Just kiss the man. I’m dying for my turn.”
I can’t help it, I laugh at Pell. At some point while I was not paying attention he changed position so he’s lying down on the floor, on his back, with his head on the pillow. But he’s backwards. So his legs are pointing out of the circle instead of inward. And his hooves are kicked up on the seat of a red velvet chair.
He’s not even looking at us. In fact, I’m pretty sure his eyes are closed.
This annoys me. “You’re not even gonna watch?”
Pell snorts. Like actually snorts. Then he turns over and sighs, resting his head sideways on his hands, one eye open and looking at me. “Do you want me to watch?”
“This was your idea.”
“Guys,” Tomas says. “There will be no kiss.”
“It’s my dare. I can’t not do it.”
Pell opens his other eye. “Are there penalties?”
“Of course! If you refuse, you are a loser. I’m not a loser.”
Tomas raises his hand. “I’ll be the loser.”
I look over at him. “Why don’t you want me to kiss you?”
And finally, his smile falls. His whole face changes. He’s still hot as fuck. Especially in that dragon chimera body. I’m not totally on board with the claws instead of feet—they look pretty sharp. But overall, I kinda love this look.
“What?” I ask him. “Just tell me what the problem is. Am I not good enough for you?”
He laughs. “No. That’s not it.”
“Then why don’t you want me to kiss you?”
“Because he likes you,” Pell says. “Wake me up when we’re ready to move on.” Then he yawns. A huge, cavernous yawn that shows all his sharp teeth. “I’m bored with this game and at the rate we’re going that door will never appear. All because Tomas is too scared to be kissed by a pretty girl.”
I smile, because he called me pretty, but then frown. “Wait. We have to play the game to make the door appear?” Did I know this? Maybe. I can’t remember. But when I look around, sure enough, there is no door. And this room is not big the way the others were. If we didn’t see the door right away, there were hallways or forest paths to follow and eventually it would be there. But there is nowhere to go in here. It’s just this room and that’s it.
“You better get comfortable, Pie is Life.” Pell chuckles. He likes that stupid joke. “We’ll be here for months the way this is going.”
I look back at Tomas. “You really don’t want me to kiss you? Because if you really feel that way, then I’ll be the loser.”
“Tomas is the loser here. He’s just afraid you’ll figure out what he is.”
Tomas growls. “Shut up, Pell.”
“What he is? A kiss can tell me that?”
“No.” Tomas huffs. “The kiss isn’t gonna tell you anything. It’s not the kiss. I would love to kiss you, Pie. But…”
“But?”
“But it’s not fair. And Pell knows this. He’s setting us up.”
Pell laughs. “Like I care.”
“That’s the problem,” Tomas snaps. “You don’t care. But I do. I’m not going to kiss her. And I’m not going to let her kiss me. Not like this.” And then he points to himself.
“Not like… what?” I ask. Then it hits me. “Not in this body? What’s wrong with that body? I like it, Tomas. I think you’re super sexy.”
Pell guffaws.
“What?” I look at Pell, then Tomas, then back at Pell.
Tomas finally sighs. “There’s nothing wrong with this body.”
“I mean, you are kind of a dragon,” I say. “So there’s that. But all in all, it’s a good look for you.”
Pell is laughing again. But Tomas looks crushed.
I crawl over to him, realizing that I’m giving Pell a pussy shot when I do this. I quickly push that thought out of my head and sit down next to Tomas. “What did I say? I don’t understand. Did I hurt your feelings? Tell me.”
Tomas stares straight ahead, looking at the window. The curtains are still billowing, but there’s no light passing through them, so it must be night time wherever we are. “You know what,” he finally says. “Fuck it.” Then he looks straight at me. “Fuck it. I’ll just tell you.”
“Fuck it. Yeah. Tell me what’s going on.”
He sucks in a deep breath and holds for a moment, then lets it out. “I’m not human.”
“Mmhmm. OK. I mean, hello? I
think I knew that.”
“No.” He’s shaking his head. “You don’t understand. I mean… I’m not human.”
I don’t want to look at Pell for clarification, but I can’t stop myself. He’s sitting up again, but he puts both hands in the air. “Don’t look at me.” Then he points at Tomas. “And don’t you look at me either. I was trying to do you a favor, friend. And”—he shrugs—“fine. I thought watching you two kiss would be hot. I swear, it wasn’t a setup. I just wanted to see her kiss you.”
“Wait.” Did I hear that right? I think I did because this entire conversation is a total buzzkill. “You wanted to watch us kiss? So you could… what? Jerk off?”
Pell’s eyes are dancing. “Do you want me to jerk off while I watch you kiss him? Because that might be hot.”
This makes Tomas laugh. And when I look back at him, his frown is gone. “You’re a sick freak, Pell.”
“Just let her kiss you, Tomas.”
“No.” Tomas looks at me. “It’s not fair, Pie. You think I’m this hot human-dragon chimera. And I’m not.”
“Well, what are you?” I ask.
He sighs. “Haven’t you guessed yet? I mean, look at me.”
I look at him. “Yeaaaah. OK. I don’t get it.”
“This isn’t me. That guy I look like downstairs isn’t me either. I’m a dragon, Pie.”
“A big, scaly, red, smelly, blood dragon,” Pell adds. “And in case you’re not all up on the different kinds of dragons, the blood dragon is the worst. They are—”
“Fuckin’ A, man,” Tomas protests. “You will never be my wingman again.”
“You’re my wingman.” Pell laughs. “And let’s just get it all out there because I’m tired of this conversation. It’s not a big deal. He lives in the dungeon. This”—Pell waves a hand at Tomas—“this body—all the bodies he’s in—they’re just shells he walks around in every now and then. Didn’t you notice he was missing for days? That’s because he used up all his magic and had to revert back to the blood dragon in the dungeon to rest so he could make another shell. That’s why he’s never been kissed. He’s not even real. He’s an animal.”
Tomas says nothing. And when I look at him, he’s just looking down at his hands in his lap. His fingers are playing with a misdirected scale over his knee. And this distracts me, so for a while I just say nothing.
