by K. C. Cross
Not a literal one, of course. A magical one.
Someone—maybe Grant, maybe not—has put a spell on me the way he put a spell on the town.
I have been made to forget things. Or unsee things. Or maybe just not know things.
And this conversation with Grant—who is most definitely not a human boy called Grant—has broken the spell.
So I already know what he’s talking about when he starts explaining it.
“You’re a joke, Pell. Don’t you get it? Satyrs? Are you fucking kidding me? No one takes you seriously. You’re entertainment. We made you for parties. So we could parade you around with your giant, always-erect cocks to amuse guests. That’s all you are. Just a fucking joke. Do you really think I need your help to get that book?” He nods his head towards the cemetery. “Pie is getting it for me right now. And the best part of that? You sent her in there!”
“You.” I don’t say it, I growl it. “You did not make me.”
His face goes still. And suddenly, all of the sunlight in the sky is gone. There is nothing but darkness over the lake. His voice booms with anger. “I made her. She made you. Therefore, I made you.”
“I see the logic,” I say. Because he’s talking about Ostanes. “Saturn.” I snarl the old god’s name. “That’s who you are, right? And that’s fine. I give no fucks at all who made me.” I hike my thumb over my shoulder and his eyes once more dart to the cemetery. “And you might be in charge of shit outside, but this place? This place belongs to me.”
The sun is still shining very bright in the sanctuary sky.
He has no power here.
And now it’s my turn to laugh. “I didn’t figure it out. So maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am a joke. But you spent fifty fucking years in here and still you had to finally walk out with nothing.”
“Nothing?” He guffaws again. “I didn’t walk out with nothing. I took what was mine. And in my stead, I left Pie. She is mine too, didn’t ya know?”
I don’t answer him. Of course I didn’t know. There was a magic veil over my eyes. But I should’ve seen this coming. Especially after that romp in the hallway forests.
A wood nymph chimera.
My type. Hell, I practically spelled it out for her that day in the apothecary.
I’ve always been partial to the nymphs. Willowy girls with evil intentions lurking in the forest.
You like bad girls?
I do.
I’m not bad enough for you?
Not even close.
And there it is. Well, she’s bad enough now, I guess.
“Sorry for that,” Grant says. Saturn. Whoever the fuck he is. He shrugs again, another mea culpa. “If it makes you feel any better, she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She really does think she’s some poor, crazy girl from Philly who conjures up imaginary friends and stumbles into monsters and curses because of one bad decision to party on Halloween.”
“Wait.” I think I stop breathing. “What?”
Grant sighs. Then frowns. “She’s not real. She thinks she’s real. She thinks she lived that life. She thinks she is that girl. But her life started the moment she woke up in the Grotto Our Lady of Lourdes at Mount Aloysius College. She’s a phantom, Pell. Just one of my magical ghosts sent in to do a job.” He nods his head in the direction of the cemetery. “And that’s exactly what she’s doing.”
My own words come back to me again.
It’s a paradox.
I can enter, but can’t see the doors.
You can see the doors, but you can’t enter.
And none of them can come out. Trust me. I’ve been here two thousand years and not a single monster has found his way out of those tombs.
He sent her here to trick me. To make me send her into Tarq’s tomb to get that book.
The book he needs.
The book that will redistribute power and change everything.
But not just the book.
He needs more than that book.
He needs Tarq.
Did I just create a hole in the paradox that could allow Tarq to escape?
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - PIE
For a moment, I am confused.
I look over my shoulder. Nope. That’s all how it should be. The cemetery. The daylight. The top of the cathedral just over the hill.
But when I look forward—yeah. That’s where things stop making sense. Because I’m not in a tomb. I just walked into the lower level of the cathedral. Except this is not my cathedral.
There are dozens, possibly hundreds, of people walking around. Going up steps that look familiar, going down steps that don’t exist, passing by me and going into other rooms on either side of the lower great hall that are not supposed to be there.
But here’s where it really gets interesting. None of these people are Tarq. They are not even monsters. They’re just… people. Like… office workers. In fact, this place looks like it could be the interior of a downtown Philly office building. And in the space between the many, many, many people bustling about, I can even see a reception desk.
“What the actual fuck?”
There’s a man at the desk. A very well-dressed young man. Neat, dark hair. Clean-shaven face. He’s slight. Slim, but not skinny. Just one of those naturally trim people who can wear anything and look amazing. Right now, he’s wearing a black suit. Not just any black suit, but the kind they call bespoke.
He spots me through the crowd as well, and his smile becomes even bigger and brighter, if that’s even possible. He swiftly comes out from behind the reception desk and the crowd almost parts for him. So he’s right up in front of me before I can properly prepare myself for what comes next.
“Hello!” He beams. He clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels a little. “You’re a new face. How can I help you?”
“Um.” Yeah. I don’t have a plan for this. “Well.” I sigh. “OK. I’m looking for a mon—a man,” I correct, thanking my lucky stars I didn’t just blurt out the word ‘monster.’ “A man called Tarq.” I look around, doubtful. “You don’t happen to know him, do you?”
The slim guy smiles at me. But it’s not beaming anymore. It’s a little tight-lipped. “Of course, ma’am.” He chuckles. “Tarq is…” He pans his arms wide. “The boss.”
“Right. Yes. I knew that. So… so I’m here to see him. I have a message from a mutual friend called Pell. Can you point me to Tarq so I can deliver this message?”
I am an idiot. This whole thing is stupid. I have to be stuck in a dream. Or maybe I really did die the morning after Halloween? Nothing in my life makes sense anymore.
Did it ever?
I don’t know.
“First, let’s introduce ourselves. Then we can get to the bottom of this.”
“Sure. I’m Pie,” I say. He makes that face everyone makes when they hear my name. But I just keep going. “Pie Vita. Nice to meet you…”
“Luciano.” He shakes my hand. “Luciano Giordano. And do you mind if I say your name is quite lovely?” Then he kisses my hand.
I might blush a little at that gesture. But I quickly pull myself together. “Luciano Giordano. That’s… interesting. In a nice way,” I add quickly. Because I know what it’s like to have someone say your name is… interesting. But his is very mob. And I don’t get it. “It was just a little… unexpected.”
“We all love the unexpected, don’t we?”
“Do we?” I don’t, I can say that for sure. But right now, I just want to play the game, get what I need, and get the fuck out of here. I feel like I just walked into an alternate reality and I don’t like it. Of all the things that have happened to me over the past week or so, this is the most unsettling. Not even the orgy room or realizing I have horns and hooves shook me the way this place does.
Luciano smiles at me like he might be following my internal monologue. “You say you have a message. And I don’t mean to pry. But, pray tell, can you give me more than that? It’s none of my business, so I don’t need details, but Tarq
likes a heads up when people like you show up.”
“People like me?”
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry. That came out wrong. People who come from…” He nods his head towards the back door. And when I look over my shoulder, the tomb is gone and in its place is just a city. Like… all those tombs that should be there are now buildings in a bustling downtown.
My mouth just drops open. “Where did it go? The door? Where did it go? How do I get back!”
I’m panicking. It’s not a good look for me.
“Calm down, calm down. You came from the tomb, right?”
I nod. Swallow.
“It’s there. But it’s glamoured. You’re one of them? The monsters?”
“No! Do I look like a monster?” And that’s when I look down and realize I am. My hooves! My fur! My… no pants or shirt. I quickly rearrange my hair to make double sure this well-spoken mobster can’t get a peek at my nipples. Then I reach up, and sure enough, there they are. My horns. “Shit,” I say.
“It’s OK,” Luciano says. “We see lots of confused people come through the tombs. They get over it after their first time, but I’ve never seen you here before, have I? Because you, my dear”—he takes both of my hands, then steps back so he can see all of me at once—“you are ravishing!”
But now he’s patting my shoulder and I realize that these words are platitudes. And we’re walking, so he’s trying to get me out of here without any more fanfare. No one seems to be paying attention to us, even though my hooves are clip-clopping across the black marble floors. And it echoes.
“Tarq is this way, Pie.” I can hear the smile when he says my name. “Let’s get the two of you reunited so you can stop feeling so unsettled.”
He’s got manners, I’ll give him that. And I do feel better having him take care of things. That realization isn’t very empowering. But. Whatever. I’m losing it. Like seriously losing it. And if I have to work out a single detail about this trip into the tomb that is not a tomb, I might not recover.
Luciano ushers me through a door, then down a hallway, then through another door, a room, another hallway and I lose track. I suddenly wonder if this place is the twenty-first-century version of the Labyrinth and I’m about to meet the urban Minotaur.
We stop in front of a glass-walled office and there he is. Right on the other side.
And he looks like the urban Minotaur. He is sleek, jet-black fur. Glossy hooves. Brown skin. Long, silky black hair flowing over his hard, muscular shoulders and tied loosely at the nape of his neck. And his horns. Cheese and fucking rice, those horns. They are the horns you picture when you think monster. Nothing like the ones on my head. They scream power. And they are sharp and polished. His horns look like obsidian. Smooth and lustrous. Like this man gets a hornjob daily.
He’s in profile when we walk up to the glass door and pause, but his mouth is moving like he’s in the middle of a conversation. I can’t hear a word. The glass is thick. His office looks like any billionaire’s corner glass office. Massive wooden desk. A view to die for—and how did we get up in the air? I don’t know. We didn’t go up any stairs or take any elevators, but we are like a hundred stories up. Large birds are floating past, circling out over an ocean like we’re in New York. But none of the buildings are the iconic ones even poor people like me could recognize.
This is not New York.
There are no billionaire monster CEO’s in New York.
Well. They are all probably monsters. But not in the literal sense.
Tarq turns, sees us, then smiles. And good fucking God. That smile is… wow. Even his sharp fangs are sexy.
I don’t know what to make of this guy. He’s nothing like Pell. And while I can appreciate this stunning, god-like, A-type personality, corporate-raider monster that is Tarq—this dude’s attention scares the shit out of me and we haven’t even spoken yet.
Nope. I like my Pell. I like him shaggy. I like his tousled fur, and his striped hooves, and his glowing horns that don’t look like they were made to knock giants into another universe. Pell’s horns are just… nice. He’s just nice. This guy?
He’s still smiling at me.
I need to leave. He’s going to eat me. Or attack me. Or something worse.
But then he’s walking towards us and a glass door that was not there a moment ago is now opening right in front of my face.
“Sorry to bother you, Tarq,” Luciano says. “This is Pie Vita. She came through the tomb a few minutes ago.”
Tarq looks me up and down slowly. Like, I’m talking his eyes take their sweet-ass time traveling down my body to the tips of my hooves, and then back up—briefly resting on my mostly hidden breasts—before they find my face again. “Of course she did. Pie. Vita.” He says my name like it is two words. And his voice is deep and… wow. There’s a vibration there. It’s distracting. “I have been wondering when you’d show up.”
“What?” I want to appear as in control as this monster man in front of me, but there is no chance. And even though all I did was utter a single word, my voice trembles and I suddenly have a stomach ache. “What do you mean? When I’d show up?”
“Oh.” Tarq glances at Luciano. “She doesn’t…”
“Yeah,” Luciano says. “Yep. Nope. She’s got no clue.”
“Wait.” I put up a shaky hand. “What are we talking about here?”
“How did you get here?” Tarq is studying me again. God, I wish he would stop doing that. “Hmm? Do you remember?”
“Yes.” I squint at him. Because I feel like I’m just about to fall into a trap. But I’m here. There’s no going back. I might as well just get what I need as quickly as possible and go the hell back where I belong. “Pell and I made—well, he mostly did all the work. But I did help him get the dragon’s scales from Tomas—”
“Pell!” Tarq’s entire face lights up at the mention of my new better half. “Pell!” He’s even more delighted the second time he says the name. Then it’s like I caught him off guard. Of all the things I could’ve came here to say, the name of his old friend wasn’t in the top billion. His mouth actually drops open.
“So, we got the scales, the blood… blood… what the fuck was it called again? Oh.” I snap my fingers. “Bloodhorn. We got that flower, and then Pell did some magic shit. And, well”—I look down, look back up while pointing to my chest—“my lucky charm dragon’s bloodhorn scale is supposed to be right here. But it’s not, so… I don’t know what to tell you. I walked into your tomb and boom.” I look around and sigh. “I feel like I just fell into that old Michael Douglas movie. You know that one where he’s playing a game and shit goes all crazy?”
Tarq points at me, chuckling. “You are delightful.”
“Thank you. So. I’m just gonna get to the point because I’m feeling uncomfortable here. I don’t really look like this.” I pan my hand down my body. “I’m just a human on the other side of that tomb door. Though I’ve been told I’m a cute human. I don’t normally walk around naked except for my fur. And I never—almost never—have hooves and horns. So. I would just like to make that clear so we’re all on the same page. I am not actually a wood nymph chimera. I’m just a girl with an imaginary friend who spent a lot of time with crazy people until I learned how to lie.”
Why did I just say that?
Tarq looks at Luciano, who is once again beaming a smile, hands clasped behind his back, rocking on his feet. Tarq points at him and laughs. “You did well, my friend.”
“What? What did he do? I’m so confused.”
“What did I tell you?” Luciano says. Then he and Tarq high-five each other.
Tarq turns his attention to me. “You answered the ad.”
I cock my head in confusion. “Well.” Then I hold up a finger. “I answered an ad. Yes. But, it has nothing to do with here.” I make a little circle in front of me with my pointer finger.
Once again, Tarq looks back at Luciano. “She really doesn’t know anything, does she?”
“It’s
amazing, isn’t it.”
“OK, that’s enough!” I yell this. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I have a purpose, OK?” I clap my hands for each of those syllables. “I’m here to get the book. Pell said you would know which one I was talking about. It’s a super-powerful, fucking whatever book. And I need it to banish the sheriff of Granite Springs because he’s a cupid, or a bloodline person. I don’t know what the hell his problem is, but he’s suddenly gained the ability to enter our sanctuary and this will not do. I will get you out of here. Or something. Pell’s real sorry you got stuck inside the tomb and he was on the outside, so he said to…”
Tarq is staring at me so hard, I swallow down my words and shut up.
“Luciano,” Tarq says. But he’s not looking at Luciano, he’s looking at me. “I’ll take it from here. I’ll send her down when I’m done with her.”
“What? Done with me? What… what are we doing, exactly?”
“Yes, sir,” Luciano croons. Then he turns and walks out of the office. I watch him through the glass walls until he’s out of my sight.
Tarq clears his throat. “So. You’re here for the book?”
I force myself to turn and look up at the sleek, jet-black monster in front of me. I try not to look him in the eyes. It’s too much. And I can’t look down at his feet or I might accidentally see his package. So I concentrate on his horns. “I’m here for the book. We need a banishing spell.”
Tarq makes a noise that might be a huff or an actual laugh. I’m not sure. “That’s so… wow. It’s just… it’s been a really long time, Pie, since anyone has said the words ‘banishing spell’ in front of me. And”—he shrugs—“it was just a simpler time, I guess.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“Let’s have a drink and sit down.”
“I can’t. I need that spell. There’s… there’s… there’s a time constraint. And, and, and… the townie people and shit. And Tomas!” Man, I am not handling this well. At all. “I need to get back. Quickly.”
“Pell is waiting for you?”
“Yes! Exactly.” I let out a breath of relief. “Yes, he’s watching for me. He’s waiting a safe distance from your tomb. So I can find the door out, obviously.”
