by C. A. Rene
Our silence feels deafening in the room and just as I think she’s fallen asleep she speaks, “Vin, I remember everything that happened to me. I’ve never forgotten.” I rub circles into her back and feel like a weight has lifted off my chest. I know I can get her back.
“I know, baby.”
The next day I watch as Ember and Adri sunbathe on the beach. She seems a bit lighter, her small smiles look more genuine and I’m hoping her sharing what happened to her really does help bring her out of her shell.
“Do we have a plan?” Travis asks. He’s standing beside me drinking a beer.
“For?”
“Figuring out what happened to her. We have to help her.”
“You think I’m not doing that?” I turn to look into his shade covered eyes.
“I think you need help.” He looks back out at the girls, “the four of us need to stick together.”
“Fuck that,” I growl.
“I know you hate me, but it’s Ember.”
“I hate your father. You, just grate on every nerve I have.”
“So, we’re getting somewhere.” He chuckles.
I don’t say anything and continue to drink my beer. He’s right we are getting somewhere; I don’t fucking hate him anymore because I see he genuinely loves Ember.
“We’re going to New York next weekend, to find some answers about Tommy.”
“Yeah, Adri told me what happened.” He nods, “where are you staying?”
“I don’t know, I’m leaving it all to Ember.” I shrug, “if I push too much she’ll go without me.”
“Dad has a condo in the Upper East Side. You guys could stay there.”
“No thanks.” My answer is quick.
“Look I’ve been to New York plenty, Dad has a business there. So, we go like once every few months. You should let me come or at least take the condo.”
“Your father wouldn’t be happy to hear the Mutt is staying there.” I grit between my teeth.
“Our father has been trying to see you, since that terrible fucking dinner all he’s talking about is having you take over some family business.” He sips his beer, “he’s trying to right his wrongs.”
“He’s still going to hell.”
“Fucking right but doesn’t mean you shouldn’t benefit from years of neglect first.” I look at him with surprise. “Look, I know what happened to you was fucking filthy, and I never wanted it to be that way.” He looks at me, “I don’t expect us to be brothers right away, but we are brothers regardless and it’s something we should work towards. So, I want to help you and I want to help Ember.”
“I’ve hated you for years.”
“I know.”
“I fucking beat your ass as sport for so long.”
“I know.”
“And you still want a relationship with me?”
“Yes.” He answers, no hesitation.
“Are you like a masochist? Into pain for fun or some shit?”
At this he bursts out laughing, the sound making it difficult to keep the grin off my face.
“Fuck, maybe I am? I’m also chasing a chick that’s just so fucking impossible.” He says with a chuckle.
“I’ll talk to Ember about the condo, she says the gang runs Hunts Point, mostly.” He whistles under his breath and gives me a raised brow look. “What?”
“That’s a really rough area.” He whispers.
“That’s where they found her, man. Covered in blood and holding a gun.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“No wonder she’s so fucking tough.”
I don’t answer because that’s just a fucking given. We watched Ember single handily take out two grown ass gang members when they were following her before the school year ended. Tough doesn’t even begin to describe her.
“The business Dad wants you to take over is in New York, he described it as export/import.” He says, “if you had stuck around until the main dish you would’ve learned more.”
“I’m not interested.”
I agreed to dinner the week after Ember came back. I was waiting to see her and was constantly being hounded by the sperm donor. He broke down my mother before me, and she convinced me to go to dinner. To say it was explosive would be an understatement. He kept trying to push his business on me stating it would be generational, something I could leave for my children-a legacy if you will. I basically told him to eat shit and die. You’re probably thinking ‘a little insensitive’, you must have forgotten I was referred to as a mutt.
“It’s up to you.” He shrugs.
I watch Ember with Adri, baking out in the sun, her golden skin becoming darker and the mahogany in her hair more prominent from the sun exposure. All I ever want to do is keep her safe and make sure she knows I’m here for good. Last night, after I told her something I hadn’t told anyone else she started to open up, I need to do more of that but just the thought of letting her in on some of my darkest moments makes me nervous.
When my mother and I moved out of Whitsborough and into Toronto it’s sufficient to say my life went into a downward spiral. I had made myself promise to never tell anyone the depths I had to go to survive, because it was deep. Then my mother found out a few little things and flipped her shit. We moved back to Whitsborough within a week and my mother armed herself with a lawyer in case the fucker threatened to take the mutt again.
It goes without saying that when I came back and saw Travis in all his privilege, really living the best and easiest life, I lost it. He really did become my personal punching bag. But I know it was wrong, the real person who deserved that was my douche-bag father.
I hear a laugh clear through from the beach and my heart starts hammering in my chest. It’s been a while since I heard it and I’m so fucking glad I agreed to Adri and Travis coming here because to be honest I feared I was losing my girl for good.
That just cannot happen.
6
I’m still reeling with anger after learning about Robert and how he spoke about Vin when he was just a child. Mutt! If he wasn’t already dying I’d add him to my list, actually I haven’t totally decided not to yet, dying or not maybe I need to pay him a late-night visit. The more I think about this the more I like it.
“Embs!”
“Shit.” I shade my eyes with my hand, “my bad. What’d you say?”
“I was saying you look as happy as a pig in shit,” Adri says. “What were you thinking about?”
“Honestly that saying is just gross.” I smile at her, “and you probably wouldn’t want to know.”
“You seem a bit better today.”
“I feel it.” I nod, “it’ll just take some time.”
“Shay is having a party next weekend. Her parents are away on a trip.”
“You’re still talking to her?”
“Yeah, she seems legit. Her and Marlana unfriended each other on IG and Facebook.”
“Hmm.” I don’t care either way. I still don’t trust either bitch.
“Shay says a lot of people keep asking for you at the gym.”
I had literally taught two MMA classes before all the shit happened in New York. I did talk to Andrew and he’s willing to take me back whenever I’m ready. I just don’t know when that will be yet.
“I’m famous bitch, men lock up your wives.”
Adri lets out a good cackle which in turn makes me laugh. It feels good to let the dark anger go for a while.
“Travis and Vin have been conversing for a good ten minutes now.” Adri says lowering her voice.
“I know, it’s amazing really.”
“Did Vin tell you about going to dinner at Trav’s?”
“He touched on it.” I nod, “his father is a prick of epic proportions.”
“He tried to offer Vin a business. It feels too much like a pay off. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry for being a cunt here have a business.’” She states mockingly.
> “A business?” A shiver runs down my back, a feeling of foreboding.
“Yeah, I think maybe it’s in New York.”
No fucking way.
It can’t fucking be… if this motherfucker is grooming Vin to take over drug running for The Rampage, I’ll lose it, that’ll be the final fucking straw.
“Interesting,” I mutter.
“Yeah, but Travis told me Vin raged out and his father looked like he might shit himself.”
I snort at that because I know how intimidating my man can be.
“How’s everything with Travis?” I ask, “you did drive for two hours together.”
“I slept with him again last week.” She says moaning into her hands, “I’m a horny idiot.”
“Nah, he’s hot and you care about him.” I snort.
“He’s not going to buy the cow if I give the milk for free!” She says.
“Fuck that.” I grin, “no one wants milk more than steak, make him want steaks.”
“He asked me if I’d want to have a threesome,” she whispers.
“Guy or girl?”
“What?” She looks at me mortified.
“What? Does he want to add a guy or a girl?”
“I didn’t ask! Obviously it’d be a girl.” She crinkles her brow, “right?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug, “you should ask.”
“Would you do it for Vin?”
“It’s hard to imagine that because Vin is so possessive. He doesn’t even like me kissing you for fun.”
“True.” She nods.
“But honestly? I don’t see a problem as long as your relationship with him is strong.” I look at her, “and don’t look at it like you’re not enough.”
“Yeah, that’s what I have to work on.”
We’re silent for a while watching the waves on the beach and soaking up the sun. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Adri breaks the silence.
“Fourteen, and it was terrible.” I chuckle, “you?”
“Last summer,” she hesitates, “with Danny.”
“What?!”
“Shhhh!”
“How did that happen?” I whisper harshly. She cocks an eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes. “Never mind.” I fake a shudder, “I don’t want to know.”
“Travis is my second.” She whispers.
“Wow, that’s special.” I nod. “Talk to him about his kinks, fuck Adri maybe you’ll fucking like it.”
“Yeah, I will as soon as I figure out what I want.”
“Girls!” I hear Travis call out, “let’s figure out lunch.”
“I need to pee first!” I say while getting up and running inside the house.
I go into our room to get to the bathroom and I hear the pinging of my phone. I grab it out of my bag and head for the toilet. I open my messages and see about ten from Carm. I quickly add him into my contacts and see what the fuck he wants.
OffspringDelDiablo: We need to talk more.
OffspringDelDiablo: When ur done ur lil excursion let me kno.
OffspringDelDiablo: Feliz Cumpleaños
Me: Thanks I need you to get a gift to me by tmr afternoon.
OffspringDelDiablo: …. okay?
Me: There was a knife in our father’s desk drawer, it had those skulls on it, I want it
OffspringDelDiablo: Is that the one you flayed him with?
Me: Tmr afternoon
I close my messages and put the phone in the back pocket of my shorts, if he wants anything to do with me, he’ll come through. It is indeed the knife I used to flay some skin off my father. The thought of it makes a shudder wrack my body, and not the bad type. I actually enjoyed the shit I did to him, especially when I think about what he did to my mother and all the things I made him admit while he was under that knife. No one deserved the things I did more than him. I honestly wish I could somehow bring him back so I could do it all again.
My breathing accelerates and I have to start counting to bring myself down. Thinking about causing someone pain and suffering especially those deserving really gets my heart pumping. Maybe becoming a vigilante wasn’t such a bad fucking idea.
I leave the bedroom and head downstairs; they have the music blaring and I smell meat being grilled. Adri is in the kitchen bopping around to Monster by Lady Gaga with Travis eyeing her from the corner. Creepy fuck. I raise my eyebrow at him as I pass by and he shrugs with a smirk on his face. I find Vin outside at the barbeque and my heart stutters when I see that he’s taken off his shirt and his low-slung basketball shorts are dangerously close to his ass crack. He’s wearing a backwards New York baseball cap on his head and I can see his curls around the front edges.
His back muscles bunch as he flips the steaks. “You gonna stare at me all day or come over here and kiss the cook?”
I snort and press up against his back, pressing a soft kiss between his shoulder blades. He smells like coconut lotion and it takes me back to what we did last night. “The lotion on your skin reminds me that I had your dick in my ass.”
He chokes out a laugh and lifts his arm to drag me beside him. “I’m never sure what’s going to come out of your mouth.” He chuckles.
“I’m like a Kinder Surprise.”
He laughs and kisses my temple. It’s a long weekend so we don’t have to be back in Whitsborough until Monday. The parents have been really accommodating and had no issues with me coming here with Vin, as long as I check in each day. Speaking of which I should do that now.
“I’m gonna call my parents.” I tell him and walk off the deck.
“Steaks will be done in ten.” He says.
I dial my uncle’s-Dad’s-phone and wait for him to pick up. It takes about a ring and a half. “Ember?”
“Hey.” I say trying to push some happiness into my voice.
“Everything is okay?”
“Yes, it’s great here.”
“Why do you sound like a cheerleader on crack?” He asks.
I burst out laughing and internally thank the stars I have him in my life. It’s always his humor that breaks through to me. “Crack is wack.” I chuckle, “How’s everything over there?”
“We miss you. Your Ma is cleaning and I’m searching for rare wheels.” He finds old cars and fixes them up. Our garage is stacked.
“I miss you guys too. How’s Shelby?” Shelby is my Mustang convertible.
“I gave her a wax job this morning, she’s waiting for you to come home.”
“We’ll take her for a spin when I get back.”
“Sounds good.”
“Tell Ma I love her and I love you, too.”
“Will do, young lady.” He says, “you remember my one rule?”
His one rule was not to have sex in the instance I make him a ‘Grandpa-Uncle’.
“That’s still a thing?” I say teasingly.
“Just be safe.” He snorts.
“See you Monday.”
“Bye Kiddo.”
I spend the rest of the day swimming and hanging out with the three people I knew from the very beginning were going to be important to me. When I’m here I can almost pretend that what happened to me was just a dream, that I still live the life of a carefree teenager with a rough past and a bright future.
7
“Let’s talk about my mother for a bit.” I pause and pull my finger through his blood on the blade.
“What about her? She betrayed me.” He moans as his head drops to his chest.
“Why would she do that if she loved you and had your child in her belly?”
“Because she’s a puta.” He spits out a wad of blood.
Before I can even form thought my fist flies out and catches him at his left eye. I watch as his head snaps to the side and the blood that was running down sprays all over me and his desk.
“She hated what I did here and she wanted to go back to her life in that shit town.” He groans.
“That can’t be right, we stayed here in New York, right under your nose.”
“I don’t know why she stayed here.” He shrugs and winces from the pain in his shoulder. “It wasn’t one of the questions I asked her the night I killed her.”
My body becomes rigid and I stop any movement. He spoke to her the night he killed her and he is telling me this? Does this motherfucker not have one ounce of self preservation?
“You spoke to her?” My voice is deadly calm.
I watch as he swallows, his Adam’s apple moving against his skin. He avoids my eyes and looks over my shoulder. His slight nod sends my heart into overdrive, if I had any reservations before about torturing and murdering him, they are all fucking gone now.
“I asked her if she knew where you were,” he chuckles dryly. “She had no idea you were in this very place, decimating my best fighter and paralyzing him for life. She told me you were working.”
“That was work, you bitch.” I snarl into his face, “the money I made by ‘decimating’ your fighters helped us to survive.”
“She didn’t know how bad you were, how far gone you were. If she did, I’m sure looking at you… she would’ve seen me.”
‘What else did you speak about?” I grab his chin and force him to look at me.
“I offered her an alternative pero I didn’t want to kill her.” He jerks his head out of my hand, “I asked her to come back into isolation. To live here like she did before and we could raise you together.”
“You kept her prisoner here?” I whisper.
“In the very room you were in. I couldn’t let her out of my sight after the stuff she had witnessed. Your mother was weak and I knew she could never be a part of this. So, I kept her here. Then you were born and I didn’t want her to leave with you. But of course, she seduced a guard and he helped her escape.” He grits his teeth. That’s why he kept changing my guards, he didn’t want history repeating itself.
