“Half, Cole?” I squinted at him.
“I’ve decided I want to actually look at the list, then you’ll get more.”
I gasped. “That’s mean.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m curious to see what’s on there.”
“No…”
“Why not?” he pressed.
I stared at him and the thought came to me that maybe he had some inkling that there could be a few things on that list about him. The knowing look on his face was a tell that he knew.
So when he reached for the list in my hands and his fingers brushed over mine, craziness came to get me and robbed my brain of the resistance I should have kept up, and I didn’t protest.
As he looked at the list I just waited for my skin to go red, especially when his gaze lingered at the top of the first page.
I knew for certain my number one would grab his attention but number two and three would tell him the way I truly felt about him.
* * *
2. Make it my duty to tell Cole how I feel by the time I’m twenty-five if I still feel the same way.
3. If number two goes well, kiss him.
* * *
My skin didn’t just go red as I watched him stare, my blood heated too, making me bolt upright when the seconds of silence that ticked by felt like eons.
“I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m tired…” I couldn’t say that without the emotion heavy in my tone.
I took one step to go and his large hand clamped down on my arm, pulling me back.
Even in my heels, he towered over me with his height. Cole gave me a long, hard stare, barely blinking. I had no idea what was on his mind and torture was the only word I could find to describe the roil of emotion brewing inside me.
“Twenty-five?” he said and instantly had my attention. “Why…why would you wait till then to tell me how you feel?”
My gaze intensified on him as shock stole my mind.
“It’s like a cutoff point. I figured if I could feel that way for so long, I’d have to do something. Say…something…”
He approached me with caution and reached out to touch the edge of my jaw.
“Laila…” He breathed with the same carefulness filtering through his voice. “I…”
My throat constricted and I was certain I would stop breathing at any time now from the tension and anxiety brewing inside my body.
What is he going to say?
Or…do?
He bent his head low and leaned in closer to me. That was all it took for the pull of desire to ripple through me. I moved to him too and that seemed to give him the push to come to my lips.
I always knew kissing him would feel like something else entirely.
I was right.
As his lips slanted over mine, a blast of electricity pulsed through my body, taking me whole with a wild buzz of heat that left every nerve tingling.
He cupped my face to draw me closer and deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue over mine. That made me melt and my knees caved. The movement made him step back, away from me.
“Shit…I can’t.” He shook his head. “Laila, I can’t. And I can’t stay here. I have to go.”
When he tried to move past me, I grabbed onto his arm and stopped him. “No…Cole, please don’t go.”
“Laila, I should know better than this. I’ve brought you to Vegas, got the fucking penthouse suite, and we’ve been drinking…maybe too much. It looks like I just brought you here to…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head. “Laila…I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
It must have been my desperation for this man that put me in fight mode because I knew deep down if I didn’t fight for this moment, we’d go back home to Pittsburgh and that would be it.
“You won’t…not if I want you to.”
His hand returned to my cheek and he brushed the underside of my jaw.
“Laila, I’m…” He didn’t finish. Instead, his lips returned to mine for a kiss that turned hungry in nanoseconds.
It was the kind of kiss that spoke of what would come next.
What I wanted to come next.
He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him.
With my lips still glued to his, he carried me to his bedroom.
Laila
Present day…
* * *
“I now pronounce you man and wife,” said the priest.
My eyes filled with tears, even though I willed myself not to cry.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry today and especially not at that part.
It was always that part of a wedding that got me. To me it felt like the seal on the deal for a couple.
The part where they belonged to each other .
As I looked at Brad and Andrea, the love they shared was practically beaming from them.
My brother and his wife just got married!
Watching them take their vows was beautiful. Especially when I noticed Brad’s eyes tear up.
I’d been sitting in the front row of the church with my parents, watching on.
“You may now kiss the bride,” the priest added with fervency, and Brad and Andrea kissed.
Everyone clapped and of course I couldn’t help but cast my gaze over to Cole.
He was Brad’s best man. That was a given.
I never failed to notice that throughout the whole service he either avoided looking at me directly or there were times when I felt his gaze on me.
I was grateful for the sound of everyone cheering and that my Aunt Lavern, who always cried at weddings, was bawling because it made me look a bit better.
What was also good was it diverted attention away from the other reason the tears flowed down my cheeks.
I was momentarily distracted from the memory of the horrible marriage I had to a man I should never have gotten involved with. Pretty sure he was on a cruise somewhere with his secretary, or it could have been one of his students. His track record showed there was always someone willing to jump in his bed.
While my ex-husband was wherever he was enjoying himself, I’d had to start over.
Starting over by yourself was hard but starting over with a three-year-old-boy was harder.
I dabbed my eyes and pulled in a deep breath to keep the rest of my tears at bay. Enough crying today. I didn’t want to stir raw emotions up at my brother’s wedding.
And not when I felt Cole’s gaze on me again.
This time I looked to him. He surprised me by not looking away.
I hadn’t seen him in eight years.
We had Vegas…he took my virginity in Vegas, took my heart in Vegas, and by the time we got home…he broke me.
Maybe that was why I made poor choices in men and never said no to Porter—my lying, cheating ex-husband.
Porter was my college professor. We had an affair while I was doing the first year of my PhD. I got pregnant before the year was out and never finished the program.
I thought he was serious when he asked me to marry him.
He seemed to love me, he seemed to care. I, however, got a very rude awakening when I discovered the whole affair thing was something he did on the regular.
It wasn’t just me he was sleeping with. It never ended when we got married and it was always going to be shit with him. Not sure why he married me, even if we had a child.
He was the second person to break me and here I was looking on at the first.
Cole broke eye contact. I was glad he did because since Vegas I hadn’t been sure which I should do…love him or hate him.
“Hey, you okay?” Piper asked, leaning over the bench. She was sitting in the row behind me.
I smiled at her and nodded. “Yes, I’m just so happy for them.”
“Me too, they’re beautiful. Been through so much too,” Piper reminisced, and at the mention of what Brad and Andrea had been through I took my focus back to them.
Andrea had leukemia and she fought it. She fought hard and won and Brad was there for her every st
ep of the way.
Brad and Andrea had been together since college. She got sick a few years ago. The cancer took her violently at the onset but I swore it was his strength and love for her that made her pull through. It made me prouder of him for being the man he was.
I definitely missed him while I was away.
I’d stayed in LA with Porter and remained there when it didn’t work out between us. That was a span of five years. I moved back to Pittsburgh four months ago when I realized I couldn’t hack it in LA.
Moving back to Pittsburgh was an attempt to get my life back on track.
The flower girls started to move back down the aisle first, sprinkling confetti on the path.
Andrea reached for me in her sweet way when she got to me and gave me a hug.
“Congratulations,” I told her.
“Thank you, my new sister.” She beamed, her bright green eyes sparkling with delight. Brad gave me a hug too and did his habitual tap of my cheek. He’d been doing that since we were kids so I definitely didn’t expect him to stop now.
I laughed and they walk by. Next followed the bridesmaid and groomsmen.
Cole didn’t look at me as he walked by.
That was fine. It was better that way.
So much the better since I would prefer to keep things professional between us.
In a month we’d be working together at the research center so I should get used to it.
Business…that’s what it would be. Not even the friends we were way back when.
I didn’t know what happened after Vegas and it was best not to think about it. We actually spent that whole weekend together in that penthouse suite, went crazy drinking the next day, and I crossed several things off my bucket list. I truly believed we were going to be together after, but…it was a case of what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.
My parents and I were next to follow the procession out to the grand marquee on the grounds of the manor home Brad hired for the wedding.
It too was beautiful, suiting the couple.
Piper and I took our seats at a table set aside just for us and our dates. Since we both came solo that worked perfectly for us because I was glad to finally be away from all the people surrounding us in the church.
Mom and Dad were seated at the head table with my grandparents and while everyone was glad to have me home, I was certain the happiness of the day would gloss over my presence there.
My parents and grandparents still loved to treat me like their little girl, not remembering their little girl now had a three-year-old-son who had a very bad cold this morning and had to stay with a sitter at the last minute.
“Please tell me you’ll stay until later,” Piper bubbled. “I haven’t seen you in forever. It’s just great to hang out.”
It was. “I missed you too.” I laughed, thinking of all the craziness we used to get up to. Everything with us was always so crazy. It still was. “But I think it’s best if I leave after dinner.”
Her brows knitted together as she frowned. “Oh come on Laila, Peter is with a babysitter, he’ll be fine. I was hoping to have some fun with you. Like old times.”
“I better get back to him. He’s sick. He should be here.”
“Ughh, honey he’s not gonna remember today. You did right leaving him to rest.”
“Sure, but I’m thinking pictures and he’ll be missing from them.” It was a sacrifice I had to make earlier. My poor little guy was screaming and crying, exhausted because he didn’t have enough sleep. It would have been a nightmare bringing him here.
“Oh Laila that’s okay. Don’t worry about that. Come on, stay for one dance. I’m sure I know at least one guy who’ll want to dance with you.” She cut a sideways glance, signaling for me to look to my left.
I did and found myself looking at Cole, who was talking it up with the bridesmaid he was assigned to. He was handsome, more handsome than when I last saw him, which was saying something since the man was drop dead gorgeous then.
Now at thirty-six he looked like perfection. No matter what I felt I couldn’t knock that so I couldn’t blame the woman if she was trying to hook up. After all, that’s what people did at weddings.
I looked back to Piper and found she was already gazing at me with curiosity.
“Sugar, I saw him looking at you throughout the service. Have you spoken to him yet?” she asked.
“No, I don’t really have anything to say.” I didn’t. Whatever I had to say wasn’t going to be good so it was best I left it how it was and we just start working together.
No drama, no fuss.
“You haven’t got anything to say to Cole Dawson?” She chuckled and tucked a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear.
“I don’t. What do you think I should be saying to him? It’s just so awkward.”
She was the only person I’d told about Vegas when Cole and I went, and she was the only person who knew what happened there and after.
“Maybe so, but if I was you I would break the ice. A man like that doesn’t just look at a woman the way I saw him looking at you for nothing.”
Nothing. That was the key word here and the thing I needed to remember.
Nothing was what I could expect from Cole.
“Also, he’s coming over…” She raised her shoulders in a sassy shrug while my heart stilled in my chest. “Just for the record, he’s single. I checked.”
I didn’t get to answer her. As I was going to I became aware of his presence and glancing over my shoulder confirmed it. He was in front of us before I could get a word out.
“Hi ladies,” he greeted.
“Dr. Dawson. Look at you sugar, haven’t seen you in a while.” Piper beamed, giving her megawatt smile. I had to give her credit for being the southern charmer and when she charmed, her southern accent came out heavy.
In true southern belle style my best friend put out her hand just like her mother taught her so Cole could kiss her knuckles.
He did and laughed. His laugh was a deep rumble of masculinity that reminded me of the past.
“Hello Piper. I forgot I’m supposed to greet you in the proper fashion.”
“That’s okay good doctor, your sins are forgiven.”
I tried to bite back a smile and failed miserably. She was really pouring it on.
His attention turned to me and I almost became the girl I was eight years ago. It was funny because it wasn’t that long ago, but so much had happened since that it felt like several lifetimes had passed by.
“Don’t worry, I won’t make you kiss my hand,” I stated with a nonchalant smile.
“Do I get a hug? Haven’t seen you in years.”
I tried not to hesitate, but I did and instantly saw the flash of hurt in his eyes. The flash nearly sparked my anger because I saw no reason for him to feel hurt. He was very clear when he told me he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be together. That day I embarrassed myself further by running away in tears.
“Of course,” I answered, rising to my feet to give him a hug—which hands down had to be the most awkward hug ever, and quick.
Touching him stirred the emotions I’d always felt for him. Those damn emotions I thought would have left me.
“Well,” Piper said as she gave me a crude stare, “I’m gonna grab some drinks. I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do. Cole, maybe you can convince our girl to stay past dinner.”
I loved Piper to bits, to the damn moon and back, but did she ever get on my last nerve when she did things like this.
The stiff look on my face was enough to show her how pissed I was.
In typical Piper style, however, she ignored me and sauntered away, hips swaying like she had a tune stuck in her head.
I looked back to Cole and found he was already looking at me.
“You’re leaving after dinner?” he asked, narrowing his gaze.
“My son’s sick.” It sounded so weird to be talking about my child with him.
“Is he okay?”
“It’s just a cold, but it would have been a handful to have him here screaming. He gets like that for the slightest thing. I didn’t want to spoil anyone’s fun with the noise.”
“I’m pretty sure a bunch of people would have helped out if you needed it.” He inclined his head to the side and widened his smile, revealing dimples. The same gesture that used to have me swooning over him.
“Yeah, probably,” I answered, and sat back down.
It was true, there would have been people here that would have helped if I needed it. My parents were the first to suggest that, but I just didn’t want the hassle.
He sat opposite me in the chair that was reserved for my nonexistent plus one. I was sort of hoping he’d just leave me because I had nothing to really say to him and since I didn’t believe in being a hypocrite or faking anything, I found it hard to act now, so I couldn’t help the stare fest. It just made the tension between us more uncomfortable.
“Was there something else you wanted?” I asked. No matter how gorgeous he was, I’d rather we didn’t just sit here staring at each other for the time I had left.
The question threw him. He wasn’t used to me being so abrupt.
“I was just seeing how you were. Mainly, that…” His bright blue eyes searched mine.
“I’m fine. Do I look like I’m not?” I arched my brows and settled my arm onto the table.
He grinned at the question. “You look beautiful. Eight years looks good on you princess.”
My stupid body betrayed me with a blush. I could never control that no matter how hard I tried. And definitely not around him.
Not when he made comments like that.
“Thank you, you too. Eight years looks good on you too.”
“Thank you. So…looks like we’ll be working together.”
“Yeah. Good to get back in the game.” It was, especially since I’d been off work for close to eighteen months trying to patch things up after Porter left.
“Sure, well there’s a lot in store for you there. I think you’ll like it.”
“Well I hope to please the powers that be.” I smiled a smile I definitely didn’t feel.
I got the job as a neuroscientific research associate, but there was going to be an intense six-month trial period before I could truly call the job mine.
Cole Page 2
