“Yes, of course.”
“Sure you don’t have any more questions? Anything else you want to know about me?” It sounded like a challenge and thank goodness Kirk had the good sense not to push him any further than he had. What I saw coming next would have been a fist down his throat.
“All good. I’m clear.”
“Wonderful,” Cole answered and straightened up. “Have a good day. Laila, can I see you in my office please?”
Here it was. The part I was waiting for eagerly.
“Yes, of course.”
I followed him out and neither of us looked back to Kirk. But I could feel his scathing glare burning a hole in me.
Cole opened the door for me to go inside his office.
It felt like that time when I had to go to the principal’s office at school when I punched Amanda Taylor straight in her face then pushed her into the fishpond. She was being mean to me and deserved it. That landed me a month in detention, which I happily accepted because it was worth it. She was jealous because Kevin Garret asked me to the junior prom and not her so she made up a rumor that I was going around giving all the guys blow jobs. That was supposedly why he’d asked me.
All my life people always tried to screw with me in some way.
Like Kirk earlier.
But this wasn’t the principal’s office. I was in trouble with my heart.
Cole closed the door and turned to face me.
“Laila…we need to talk,” he began, and my knees just turned to water.
My heart sped up so fast it was like it was going to beat right out of my chest. It was like déja vu.
This was exactly what happened before, only he came to my house that last night and popped the bubble that I’d bounced in while we were in Vegas.
Different time, different us, so much had happened in the spaces between. Same guy though, and I knew what he was going to say.
I just didn’t know if I could stand hearing it from him, as right as he would be for saying it. Working and screwing around was a no for us. And not when Kirk the prick already thought I was a slut who lured men with my body to get ahead in life.
Look at what just happened. Look what Kirk just said to Cole. He had no regard for who Cole was or that he actually owned his ass. Kirk only looked scared of Cole when it was clear he was pissed off.
My head felt light, like I just might faint.
Cole walked to his desk and stared at me.
“Laila. We should…” His voice trailed off and I found myself shaking my head.
I held up my hand and willed the stupid tears to stay away but one ran down my cheek.
“Don’t say it. I get it.” I couldn’t stay here and have history repeat itself. I just wanted to get away from him and get upstairs to the labs, to the people I was supposed to be working with, and do my work.
“Laila…please, let’s just talk.”
“I don’t want to. I can’t do this again with you. I can’t have that memory. Not again.” I pulled in a sharp breath to clear my head and rushed to the door.
He stopped me.
Cole reached for my arm and pulled me back, pulling me flush against him, and his lips came down hard on mine. Hard and searching, more needy than last night. It held the same wild possessive air.
The idea that this was wrong entered my head for a fleeting second, but that was all. My need, desire, and want for him hit me hard with a vengeance. This morning I had told myself that last night was all I would have with him.
My want was here now, telling me to steal, take, claim what I could from him.
So, when he ripped at my blouse I allowed him, and tore his shirt so hard the top buttons flew off and clattered when they hit the floor.
He moved with me to the wall, shoved me hard up against it, and moved my skirt up to my waist, all the while his lips never leaving mine.
They only did when he pulled away to undo his pants and shove them down low enough to unleash his cock, which was perfectly erect and ready for me. Just like last night.
I gasped when he picked me up and moved my panties over the side so he could plunge into me. I responded by wrapping my legs around his waist so tight my heels dug into his back.
As his cock filled me up I savored the feel of him. Skin to skin inside me with no barriers. We’d never done that before and he felt amazing. So amazing, control slipped from me in an instant.
I couldn’t help myself nor the moans that hummed from my lips when he started pounding into me. All I could do was hold on to him. Hold on tight, never let go, not even when he sped up and started fucking me harder and pinned me against the wall so he could truly take all of me.
I moved against him too, bucking and thrashing hard, writhing against him as we both got lost in the rhythm that took us again. The sound of us filled the room, filled his office, and I was certain that anyone walking by would hear us.
Damn me for not caring.
Damn me for not caring if it was Kirk himself standing outside or even if he came into the room and saw me. Saw us.
Damn me, because I needed this.
My body was preventing me from doing anything else besides giving in to temptation, no matter where we were.
It wasn’t that many hours ago that we were just like this. It was like our bodies needed this moment again, for fear of what we might decide that would keep us apart. To keep us not touching. Keep me away from him. And him away from me.
Cole started speeding up and that was when I lost my mind completely.
I allowed the vicious orgasm to come for me and take me whole.
I had to hold on to him tighter as I cried out into my climax. Seconds later he sped up even faster and rocked my body as he jackhammered into his release.
His hot release that flowed into me, coating my walls.
It felt amazing. I savored it, relished it…and then clarity filled my mind.
Cole and I just had wild uncontrollable sex in his office. Wild, uncontrollable…unprotected sex. I was on the pill so I wasn’t worried about it, but he didn’t know that.
It was like we’d lost our minds and now that my mind had returned to me I recalled Kirk’s words.
I rarely allowed anyone to get under my skin, but his accusations and what was actually happening was enough to send me back to that dark place I’d been in last year.
Cole pulled out of me and I slid down him, instantly fixing my clothes.
* * *
I glanced up at him and saw that all too familiar look of uncertainty in his eyes.
I couldn’t stay here.
Not today.
I made a move for the door.
“Laila, wait,” he said, coming after me.
He caught my arm once again and stopped me.
“Cole, please just let me go. Don’t make it worse than it already is.” I shook my head and he released me.
I took the moment then to leave. I wasn’t sure if I’d be going back.
Cole
Make this worse…
It seemed like I had a habit of doing exactly that. What else did losing my mind and having sex the way I had earlier with Laila mean?
At work, in my office, where anybody could have come in with the door being unlocked. No condom…
Damn.
What the hell was I thinking?
That was just the thing. I wasn’t thinking. Not one bit.
I’d reached the point where I knew it was time to man up and stop the shit. And if my recklessness today made her pregnant, I’d do the same. I’d take care of her.
As for now, there was a lot I had to do.
I thought about it and asked myself what I really wanted. The answer kept coming back the same no matter how many times I posed the question to myself.
I wanted Laila and I couldn’t see myself being any other way than how I was with her at the office and at her house yesterday.
So, I was taking my brother’s advice to separate work from emotion. It took me right back to the
place I left this morning, Laila’s house.
She went home earlier and I worked the whole day trying to figure things out in my mind on what the hell to do that wouldn’t create a deeper hole for me to jump in.
The answer that came was to be straight with her. Be truthful about everything, even Brad.
It was night now, and late, but I was here and I was hoping she’d talk to me.
I rang her doorbell and she opened the door a few seconds later.
Her eyes were puffy and her skin pale, all tells that she’d been crying. I hated that she was crying because I hurt her.
“Please, can I come in and talk to you?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she answered, a little above a whisper.
I walked in and Peter, in his usual way, came rushing up to me but he looked a bit pale too.
“Cole, you’re back! I got sick again,” he cooed and shook his little head.
I crouched down and smiled at him. “Hey, you’ll be fine. Want me to tell you a superhero secret?”
“Yes!”
“All superheroes fight off colds and any kind of sickness by eating vegetables,” I told him.
I almost laughed when his little brown eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Vegetables? Like the disgusting peas Mom makes?”
“Yes, but you can’t think they’re disgusting. They give you unimaginable amounts of strength and make you strong.”
“Oh my gosh that’s amazing…” His hands flew up to his cheeks and then they circled around my neck when he gave me a hug. “Thank you so much, you’re the best.”
I hugged him back and only managed to hold him for a few seconds before he leapt out of my arms and started jumping up and down.
“I’m gonna eat my dinner,” he bubbled and took off at lightning speed to the dining room. His little legs carried him so fast I thought he was going to tumble over.
I rose to my feet and looked to Laila, who’d been observing us. Observing me.
“He seems to believe everything you tell him. Maybe he’ll stop getting so sick now. He hates vegetables,” she stated.
“I hope he’ll like them now.”
“Do you want to go into the living room? It’s going to take him awhile to eat all the peas.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and followed her.
She had a different throw over the sofa today. This was a mass of pink fur that reminded me of something that would have been in her bedroom when she was younger.
On the TV in the background was Only You, her favorite movie. She must have watched it a hundred times, at least that I knew of. She’d told me it always cheered her up when she was really down.
I remembered when her uncle died I went to her house and put it on for her, and we both watched it. Like her and Brad, her uncle was into medical research.
If I was here under better circumstances I would have made a comment about the movie.
She sat down first and I sat opposite her.
“So, today seemed like another one of those days. The kind of weird out of place days that no one can explain,” she began.
“You think we can’t explain it?”
She shook her head. “I actually don’t know. It feels like I never knew. It feels like I’ve been stuck somewhere for years, always trying to reason out one thing or another. Always trying to explain why something happened. Or how.”
“That’s my fault.” I took responsibility for it.
“Maybe it was both our faults. I knew deep down even from years ago that there would be something to keep us apart.”
I pulled in a deep breath. “I can’t resist you the way I should when I’m around you.” There it was. The point. That was the main point aside from everything.
“You say that but it confuses me. I keep remembering you saying we weren’t a good idea.”
Here was where I needed to come clean. “After Vegas I wanted to be with you but I couldn’t. Something happened that prevented me from being with you the way I’d wanted.”
“What? What happened?” She looked me over with curiosity, eager to know.
“My ex was pregnant and I was led to believe the baby was mine.”
Surprise permeated her face. “Oh…”
“The baby wasn’t mine, but it made me take a long hard look at myself and I realized you could do better than a guy like me.”
She shook her head. “That happened and you just thought it was best to decide for me?”
I always knew this conversation was going to be hard. “It wasn’t just that.” I paused and thought about the best way to explain without making Brad look like he interfered. Although he did. “It was best for you and it wasn’t just me who thought that. It was Brad too. It was him who found out about my ex before I did and it made me look so bad when I went to him and told him I wanted to be with you.”
She held my gaze, staring deeply into my eyes. Her lips parted and understanding filled her face. “You did that?”
“Yeah.”
“You told Brad you wanted to be with me?”
“Yes.” Now that the truth was out it actually felt good, even if it achieved nothing. It at least made me look like less of an ass.
“And he stopped you?”
“It wasn’t like that.” It was, but that was delving into different territory and digging deeper into the warning Brad gave me. “He’s your big brother and he loves you. He’s not going to allow someone—anyone, even me—to take advantage of you. He wanted you to make better choices and I can’t claim to feel the way I do about you and tell you I didn’t agree.”
A tear ran down her cheek and she caught it. “You have no idea what I went through after. You have no idea what I believed all these years. Vegas was real for me.”
“Vegas was real for me too, Laila.”
“Well, maybe if I’d known that I wouldn’t have made the choices you guys hoped I wouldn’t make when you thought I could do better. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with my college professor, got pregnant, got married to the man, believing he loved me, just to find out it was all a lie when I caught him cheating on me with one of his students. I was stupid because that was just the one I knew of. There were many more.”
My heart stilled and my chest constricted.
I shook my head in disbelief. “What are you saying to me?” I knew nothing of that. “That’s what happened?”
Brad just told me the divorce happened because it didn’t work out. I never even knew about her ex-husband being her old college professor. What the fuck?
“Yeah. That’s what happened.”
“Did Brad know about the cheating?” I had to ask because I was so shocked to hear it now.
“Yes.” That shocked me more. “I’m surprised you didn’t know. Kirk knows.”
“How the hell does Kirk know?”
“Small world. A friend told him. He knows and he thinks I’m some slut that just uses my body to get ahead in life. That was why he was like that this morning. That was the reason for his weird questions. He thinks I’ll try to seduce you to get the job.”
Shit! What an asshole.
I had to stand now. Kirk was one breath away from having his teeth knocked out.
“Kirk? What did he say to you?”
She looked down at my balled fists. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I guess it’s good to know the truth of what happened to us, but it doesn’t change anything. I think this morning you were going to say that we shouldn’t be together. And you’re right. We shouldn’t be. I can’t. This job means more to me than just having it. I put my career on hold for years, went through so much shit, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I hate that I wasn’t told about the whole job competition but it is what it is and I accept it. I accept Kirk’s disgusting challenge to undermine me. So yes, you’re right. We shouldn’t. If we do and it goes to hell I won’t have the strength to pull myself out of it like last time. I don’t have the strength for anything that’s confusing. I have a child to think about. H
e needs me.”
What I heard was strength, and it broke me because this was my fault. I should have fought harder for her in the past.
Now I had no choice but to step back and respect her wishes.
I dipped my head and nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone. But don’t expect me to stop caring, or to not help you. I promised I would and I am.”
“I’m…grateful.”
I moved back to her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
One last look and I left.
Leaving this time, I knew it was best if I didn’t go back any time soon.
What was on my mind as I drove away was Brad. He seriously must have wanted me away from Laila. He apparently had that big of an issue with me being with her. We used to tell each other everything. I couldn’t remember a time when we didn’t know what was going on in each other’s lives. He’d know stuff about me and I’d know stuff about him.
I get that he wouldn’t have wanted to tell me about Porter Thomas being Laila’s college professor, and the whole thing about the affair and her pregnancy. That was private and not really his news to tell.
But hearing that the guy cheated with one of his students would have sent me straight to LA.
One punch to my face six years ago told me Brad’s answer to I want to be with your sister.
How come he didn’t do shit when he knew the reason for the divorce?
Cheating like that was reason enough for Brad to get me and the two of us go out to LA and beat the crap out of Porter.
But no. I wasn’t told.
That silence spoke loud enough for me to listen and know we weren’t the friends I thought we were.
Laila
My phone buzzed again on the nightstand. That was the fifth time now.
It was Brad.
I didn’t know why he was calling and I didn’t want to.
Cole Page 8
