I hadn’t failed to notice that he and Cole hadn’t exactly been close over the last few months. Part of me thought it could be about me but I hoped it wasn’t.
It didn’t matter now.
What mattered was right before me and I was absolutely taking whatever chance I had with him.
I wanted it.
Badly.
We got home late and Peter was wiped out. He was already falling asleep by the time he got in the bike.
When we got home it was just to lift him out and get him changed for bed.
Cole stayed downstairs and when I got back to him, he was in the living room looking at pictures of Peter when he was a baby. I’d had them displayed on the mantelpiece and the wall above it.
He was focusing on the picture of me when I’d just given birth to Peter.
Peter was so tiny against my chest. I looked a mess but I wanted to capture the memory no matter how I looked.
“This is beautiful,” Cole stated when I came up to him.
“Even though I look like I just got run over by a truck?”
“Baby, you could never look like that. I see happiness in your eyes and your love for him,” he observed.
“Yeah, that was the happiest day of my life.” I pulled in a deep breath. “When I first found out I was pregnant I freaked out and for months I just didn’t know what I was doing. It was funny…as freaked as I was, I felt this love and it was different. It probably made me say yes to Porter when he asked me to marry him. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”
When I looked back now I realized it was fear again that made me say yes to him.
I wouldn’t deny though that part of me was fascinated with him when we started sleeping together. I wouldn’t be a liar and not say that at one point I did love him and I thought it would work.
“Did he take care of you while you were pregnant?” Cole asked.
I shook my head. “No, he was always away on some trip. Teaching conferences, he called it. We got married when I was three months pregnant and the rest of the time was just me trying to do what I could before Peter came. All those times he was away he was with someone else. He even…he missed Peter’s birth.”
I swore I wouldn’t hold that against him because that day there was an accident on the road and he got stuck in traffic for hours. The part that got me was I’d told him I felt that the baby was coming from the night before but he insisted on going back to campus to grade his papers. His explanation was he didn’t want to worry about work when the baby arrived. He’d planned to pull an all-nighter. I never knew if he was truly grading his student papers or in someone else’s bed.
He never answered the phone when I called him, never answered either when the hospital called.
“I was by myself,” I added, and the spark in Cole’s eyes vanished.
“I’m sorry. I can’t believe that. Baby…if it had been me, if I’d been there, I would have been with you every step of the way,” he stated, and held my gaze. He took my hand and brought my knuckles up to his lips to kiss. “I’d hold your hand just like this and make sure you knew I was there and you wouldn’t have to be scared.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes as I imagined it, and knew it for truth. He would have done exactly as he said.
“Mostly, I’d make sure you know how crazy I was…am…” His voice trailed off and he ran a hand through his already ruffled hair. “I’m crazy about the two of you. You and Peter. I would have been back then and I am now.”
“We’re crazy about you too,” I told him with a firm nod.
That made him smile. He lowered and slanted his lips over mine, reigniting the kiss we shared from earlier. Just as we got going, he pulled away.
“What?” I asked, surprised he stopped.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m doing all this to get back in your bed, as nice as it was. Today was about spending time with you and Peter. So, in your own time. I want you to choose me in your own time, Laila. I get that you need to find yourself and I hope the job has helped you do that. I don’t want to interfere. Just know that I choose you.”
His eyes were so open and the purity of his words reflected in his gaze.
I’d never looked at someone before and just knew beyond any form of question how they felt about me.
It wouldn’t have happened with anyone else besides him because he was the only man to ever look at me the way he was now.
Like I was everything.
Like I meant everything to him.
As I returned his stare I thought back to how we were growing up. He was always in my life, always there for me.
Always showing me how important I was to him.
Always showing me I had his attention.
It was truly time to push fear far, far away.
“I choose you…I choose you too. Always.”
“Always for you too Laila.” He cupped my face again, looked me over, and the spark returned in his eyes, making the deep blue hue more vibrant.
“Cole…stay with me tonight, don’t go. Don’t.”
“I’ll stay.”
We moved to each other at the same time, falling into the kiss that took us.
It held a sensual flame of passion that cascaded through my soul and made my body come alive.
He picked me up and we went upstairs to my bed where he lay me down.
He took his time to peel off my clothes layer by layer, kissing me all over. When I took his clothes off we lost ourselves.
I lost my mind and everything that wasn’t him faded into the ether.
Pressed together, we consumed each other with hot wild kisses.
He kissed my lips like he wanted to consume me, then worked his way down to my core, leaving a fire of desire burning over my skin. Parting my legs, he guided the fat head of his cock to my entrance and my body welcomed him when he slid inside me.
Passion guided us tonight. Raw, bone-tingling, soul-shaking passion that shook my body with his wild and relentless thrusts.
Trapped in the wave of ecstasy, we moaned and groaned into the wild rhythm that possessed us. It took us higher and higher, and the drop down was like nothing I’d ever felt in my life.
As we climaxed and surrendered to passion’s call I knew I’d never feel this way with anyone else. Just Cole Dawson.
He lowered to me and pulled me into his arms, breathing hard against the drumming in my ears.
Once again he cupped my face but pressed his forehead to mine.
“I love you,” he breathed, and I fell for him a million times harder. “I love you and you are mine. My girl and my kid. That is how it’s going to be for me from now on.”
It sounded like a vow. A vow my heart wanted. My heart, mind, body, and soul. I wanted it badly.
“I love you too, and you’re mine. Ours,” I promised back.
One more kiss sealed me to him. One more kiss pulled me back into the bubble of love we’d created.
I hoped to never leave.
Laila
“Cole, we can’t. Not in here again,” I chided, jumping out of his arms.
I’d only come down to his office to see when he was taking a break.
He reached for me and kissed me rough and hard, reminding me of this morning.
This morning when we had wild sex on his desk.
I’d just gotten in to see him and that’s what happened.
The crazy way we devoured each other would have been fine and understandable for people who hadn’t been together in weeks, but we’d had each other all night last night.
He just left early in the morning because he had to get some work done.
Look at us again.
Realistically we were asking for trouble being as wild as we were this morning in the middle of the workday, and with his door unlocked. Again.
“I can’t get enough of you baby,” he spoke against my lips.
Feeling myself melting into temptation, I moved back and held my hands up.
“Cole, I’
m not going to get us in trouble.” I chuckled and sighed.
The sigh came on the realization that we’d been doing this for the last three months. Secret here and to our families, but outside of that a couple.
“I want to show you off to the world as mine,” he stated, reaching for me again. “I don’t want to hide anymore.”
Neither of us said it but we just kept our relationship quiet at work. It just felt like we needed to. Now so much time had passed, it seemed harder.
“Me neither.”
“In just one more week I plan to tell Brad we’re together.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Are you sure?”
“It’s not about sure baby, it’s a must. I’ve been quiet only for you. I don’t want anyone here making you feel any kind of way because you’re with me. That is the only reason why I haven’t said something before,” he explained.
“I know.”
Things were still very much the same with him and Brad, and Brad had gotten worse with me. He was mean and it made me uncomfortable. I hated it and was always tense when I saw him or when he asked to speak with me. He hadn’t been my brother in months. He’d just been the boss from hell.
Next week was also going to be another meeting with Nick and I wasn’t looking forward to that. I’d know then if I got the job or of I’d be job hunting. The research project was due for submission at the end of this week. It was what Nick would be using for the final assessment.
“Cole, I know you haven’t been speaking to Brad. I haven’t asked you too much about it because it felt delicate.” I was being sensitive now about it because the last time we resembled anything like what we were now, Brad disagreed.
“It is but It’s nothing for you to worry about.” He smiled but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“I know it is. Please be honest with me. It’s about me, isn’t it? I should know if Brad has something to say against us. Please don’t keep something like that from me.”
He looked away and then back to me. “He doesn’t want me seeing you. Never has and never will, no matter what I say or do. We’re not talking because of that.”
I winced. I didn’t know it was that bad. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Believe me when I say it actually doesn’t matter. I know how badly you wanted to work here and I didn’t think you needed to worry over nonsense. Because that’s what it is. Bullshit and outside of his ability to control us.”
I’d never heard him speak about Brad like that before. Even when they’d argued or had a massive fallout in the past they’d always been able to resolve it.
Months had passed with them like this.
“Do you think he knows about us?”
“I think he might suspect, but you know him. He’ll only say something if there’s something to be said. So while he might suspect it, I think he thinks we’re just keeping it professional.”
“What a mess.”
“Don’t worry, focus on the project. Make sure everything is on point with that and if it’s not send it over to me and I’ll look over it.”
“Like you have the last ten times?” I giggled. My project was finished. I completed it last weekend and had it edited. It was ready to be submitted and I was happy with it. I might possibly go through it one more time but no more. Cole had combed over it for me as well.
To me, as badly as I’d wanted the job, I didn’t think I could make any more improvement to something my brain told me was perfect.
“Laila, like hell am I going to allow Nick to call you out on something I could have spotted and fixed if there was anything to find. When I read, I read with scrutiny. Like an asshole out to get you. If you can shut the asshole up then you know you did good.” He laughed and I felt grateful for the way he’d helped.
“Okay. I will do that. I’m going now. I have a meeting with the team.”
“I’ll come by later and make you dinner and that crazy mountain pie Peter likes,” he beamed.
“I look forward to it.” I kissed him again and skipped out of his arms before I got lured into committing more sexual badness with him.
I made my way back to my office and sat down. The meeting was in ten minutes but I had some files I had to get together for it.
So much had happened in the last three months.
Cole and I felt like a couple who’d been together forever. It was like Vegas happened eight years ago and this was what happened straight after. Us like this.
I was only pulled back to reality on occasion, like having to deal with Porter.
Cole helped me deal with what could have been an acrimonious disaster.
With Porter’s two-year absence and what the judge deemed as abandonment, the ball was in my court. More so in my court because of the great team of lawyers Cole came armed with, and the fact that I’d been able to show without question that my child was happy living with me, and in a stable environment. He had family around so it showed we had support and my job played an important part too.
I had showed sympathy, not wanting to keep Porter completely out of Peter’s life, when I agreed to a visit of the last weekend of every month. And when he was older we’d discuss holidays. As for right now, Porter was to see Peter in Pittsburgh. He could have him for the whole weakened and I was supposed to know where they were going and what they were doing, who they’d be seeing. Everything.
My baby wouldn’t be traveling with Porter or staying in LA. But I did agree to revise that when he got older. I was just careful in my agreement of what I was willing to allow but also mindful of how Peter might feel in the future. I basically put my feelings aside to open the door of possibility so I wouldn’t stand in his way if he wanted to know his father.
The agreement happened last month so the first visit was scheduled for the next few weeks. It was left to be seen what would happen then.
A little knock sounded at my door and I lifted my head.
“Come in,” I called out, and Brad came in.
As usual he had that stern face, and as usual I tensed at his presence.
“Hi,” I said, trying to act like he didn’t faze me.
“Hey, I know you have a meeting. I just wanted to grab you before it to talk about your project. I want to look over it before you submit it.”
I narrowed my eyes, feeling my blood boil. “Why would you need to do that?”
“Really Laila? What kind of question is that? I’m offering my help. You’re supposed to take help when you need it, especially if it helps you secure a job.” He was just a notch from shouting at me. “Obviously, I’m trying to make sure your project doesn’t contain any shit like flights of fancy that will make both me and you look bad.”
I stared at him. I couldn’t even swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.
I would have never stood for this shit in LA. No way. I would never have allowed anybody to speak to me the way he was. Like a child. Or actually like an incompetent idiot.
He shook his head at me and frowned. “Send it over by close of business today. If I don’t get it, I’ll assume you want to take unnecessary risks.”
He stormed out and slammed my door in the wake of his departure.
I wanted this job. I did. A few months back I thought it was the answer to finding myself.
Now I wasn’t so sure.
“I didn’t send it to him,” I told Cole. “I sent it to Nick.”
Cole came to see me last night and left early again this morning. I purposely left Brad out of our conversation until five minutes ago when I stepped into Cole’s office.
“I sent in my full project to Nick,” I added.
“Damn baby, you’re on fire.” He beamed, sitting on the edge of his desk.
I released a deep sigh and ran a hand through my hair, loosening it from its ponytail.
Maybe it was crazy and I should have taken the few days I had before the submission deadline to do the millionth run-through.
That was just the thing though, it didn�
��t need the millionth run-through. It hadn’t even needed the hundredth.
“I just wanted to get it out of my sight and mind. It was more than ready.”
“I agree. And Brad? What are you going to say to him?”
“He makes me feel like shit, Cole. I can’t see how I can get in trouble for choosing to take the risk. Why does he need to check it? He wants to rip it apart. Rip me apart and make me feel bad. And for what? It’s not fair. If he wants to look over my project then Kirk’s should be looked over too.”
I was glad when Cole nodded, agreeing with me.
“Don’t worry. To be honest, when I checked it last time, I thought it was more than perfect. You documented everything perfectly and I could see the pressure here made you step up more than you needed to.”
“Thank you, that’s exactly what it felt like. Me stepping up above the bar and stressing myself out way too much. I could have enjoyed the project and the journey heaps more if Brad hadn’t been so horrible. He still thinks I’m his kid sister. I really wanted to work here so badly and I just feel like he’s ruined it.”
“Hey, come here. It’ll be fine.” Cole pulled me into his arms and held me. “Don’t worry. Worrying will bring on nerves you don’t want. To put your mind at ease I’ll tell you that I sent a glowing reference for you this morning.”
That made me smile. “Thank you so much.”
“You deserve it and you deserve the job too and I’m not just saying that because I love you. You absolutely deserve it.”
I really needed to hear that right now because the hollow tension had returned to me.
“Thank you so much, I love you too,” I said, and kissed him.
He cupped my face and then the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat made us move apart.
My luck in the past had always been terrible so I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Kirk standing by the door with a smug expression on his face.
Of all the people to catch us kissing, it had to be him. Even if it was Brad it wouldn’t have been good, but Kirk…I had no words.
“When you two finish checking each other’s tonsils I’d like access to the Archive room please.” He smiled wide and walked away.
Cole Page 14
