Back to Us (Cameron Falls: A Small Town Romance Book 2)

by TC Matson

  I wanted to wait to tell my parents tonight at supper, but Momma saw something was off with me. All it took was her asking if I was okay and I broke. I cried when I told her, cried harder as I watched her heart break in front of me. She nodded and walked away. I knew she went to her room to cry. I listened to her as I stood outside of the door, debating whether I should knock. I decided against it, unsure if she tried pleading I would have the heart to deny her. So I kept my distance. When she came back out, she said she understood because work called to Daddy all the time and she loved me regardless of where I was.

  Now I’m outside on the back porch feeling numb, barely able to register the heat from the cup of hot tea Momma fixed me. Blake texted me and said he was on the way over, that he had a surprise for me. It’s only been ten minutes when I hear his truck rumble down the driveway and cut off. The ache in my chest begins to tighten. My heart, what’s left of it, thunders.

  A smile plays on his lips when he swaggers out of the house, but the moment his eyes hit mine, concern drenches them. I’m sure I look like a hot mess. I’ve cried most of the day and as I sit here, I’m fighting to keep the tears at bay.

  “You okay?” he asks, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead before taking a seat beside me on the swing.

  Blowing out a breath, I swallow. “Yeah. But we need to talk.”

  He’s back on his feet in an instant, jerking out of the swing. “You know I hate that phrase.” He rips off his hat, rakes a hand through his hair, and then his entire body freezes. His eyes snap back to me. “Let me guess. You’re leaving?”

  “I have a meeting I can’t miss,” the words feel like fire in my throat. “The project has hit a snag and since I’m—”

  “Can’t you do one of those video conferences?”

  “The city is causing problems. It’s pretty messy.”

  “You coming back?” he asks thick with despair.

  My watery gaze meets his.

  “Just like that? After all this, you’re still leaving?”

  I don’t respond. I can’t. All the words are stuck under the mountain of emotions in my throat.

  “The fuck, Dakota? Move back. Come fucking back to me,” he pleads with a bite. “Don’t do this.”

  “Blake…” I choke out.

  “We can make this work. Make a life here. With me.” His eyes are wild, filled with desperation, hopelessness, and fear.

  I shake my head. “I can’t do that. My job—”

  “Fuck,” he growls, the hurt turning into anger.

  “We knew this was how it ended,” my whisper shakes, my chin quivering.

  “No.” He shakes his head. “I fought like hell. I tried to show you, did my damnedest to prove to you that you belong here… with me. Dammit, Kota. I still fucking love you. Never stopped. Don’t do this. Please.”

  A sob wrenches from my throat. “I… I’m sorry,” I choke out.

  Defeat. Rage. His face hardens and his eyes turn icy. Cold. All the love slithering away. He straightens and lifts his chin indignantly. “Yeah. Me too.” He storms off the back porch and slams through the gate.

  “Blake!” I shout, scrambling to catch up. “Wait.”

  But I don’t catch up to him. All I’m left with is watching the dust kicking up behind his truck as he barrels out of the driveway. My knees feel weak, my head dizzy. Momma appears at my side and wraps her arm around my shoulder, guiding me back into the house where I break apart.

  Daddy didn’t take the news any better than Blake. The only difference being he didn’t storm off, though I’d much prefer that over seeing the hurt in his eyes, even though he said he accepted it. He did try talking me out of it, but Momma nudged him to leave it alone, so he did.

  This morning I woke up desperate to talk to Blake. For two days, I’ve called and texted him with no response. I even went to the ranch but he’s not been there. Davis says he doesn’t know where he is. I called Willow yesterday and she wasn’t quiet about her opinion. Matter of fact, she reamed me for leading Blake on knowing I was leaving again. I tried explaining that it was never like that and just before she hung up on me, she asked a question that’s been rooted deeply into my thoughts— “If you knew you were leaving, then why the hell did you give him hope?”

  Ashley gave me a hard time too when I called her, except she was nicer, even when she said that I deserved it. It’s like Karma came around and bit my ass. Delaney’s words weren’t too far off from Ashley’s except she did tell me she was sorry and she knew this time hurt a whole helluva lot more because this time I broke my own heart.

  She’s right.

  I did this to myself. I allowed the walls to crumble. I allowed myself to feel again. But what’s worse is I shattered Blake’s heart… again.

  I go by Blake’s house and even though his truck isn’t in the driveway, I still knock and call his name through the door. Spotting Rhett’s truck as I drive away, I pull into his house. Before I can get up the stairs, Rhett steps out. Compassion swirls in his eyes and it gives me hope.

  “Blake here?” I ask.

  “No,” he shakes his head.

  My shoulders slump. “He’s not answering my calls.”

  Rhett scratches his jaw before shoving his hands into his pockets. “He won’t.” He takes a seat in the rocking chair and leans on his forearms. “I tried talking him out of it, but he was so certain that what you two felt would keep you here. He put his heart and soul on the line, tried showing you who he is, and what he’s become hoping like hell it would be enough. Didn’t matter who told him not to, he was hell bent on trying to convince you.”

  “He knew… We knew. I told him I didn’t know how long I’d be here, that my life was in California.”

  “You gave him hope.”

  “I love him, Rhett. I really do. But I can’t just uproot my life I’ve worked so hard for. All the accomplishments. All the success. I can’t just throw all of it away on something I don’t even know will work out.”

  He takes a moment before he responds, staring out in front of him before his gaze finds mine. “This is twice, Dakota.”

  Unable to meet his stare, I drop my view to the ground. “I know and I feel awful, but I need to see him. To talk to him.”

  “Sounds like a pretty selfish move to me. His heart’s been ripped out again. But this time is different. At least he has some closure. You too. If you’re not planning on staying, let him be. Let him get through this his way.”

  I nod. “Presley and Hadley home?”

  “No. They’re doing girl things. Nails and shopping.”

  “Let them know I stopped by. Okay?” My voice shakes at the end. “It was good seeing you, Rhett. I promised Momma I wouldn’t be a stranger anymore. I’ll be back sooner this time.”

  The corner of his lips tic but never pull up into a smile. “Yeah. It was good seeing you too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Dakota

  Home doesn’t feel quite like home anymore. It’s stale. Black and white compared to all the colors I experienced in Cameron Falls. My smile is fake. I’m empty again, numb down to my soul. I’m moving but things seem to blur past me.

  Leaving this time hurt far worse than the first time. I have no one to blame but myself.

  Momma has FaceTimed or called me every day since I left three weeks ago. The first time we video chatted, she and Daddy thought they had to yell for me to hear them since the phone was away from their mouths. After we established I could hear them just fine, they prefer video over regular phone calls. And I don’t mind. At all. I used to live for my job and loved burying myself in it, but now I rush home to talk to my parents.

  We talk about everything, just like we did while I was there. The only difference is I’m not in the kitchen or on the back porch. I’ve asked about Blake a few times, and the only thing they say is he’s okay. I’ve thought about calling or texting him, but Rhett’s words—just let him be—ring loud.

  I ran into Seb
astian the week after I got back. We talked for a few moments… that’s all I could give him. He was so emotionless, so monotone, and so damn self-absorbed, I just couldn’t stand it. What the hell did I ever see in him?

  All this numbness and hurt has made me think of Ryan and how much I really miss his smile. Last week, I took the three-hour road trip just so I could sit at his gravesite and talk to him again. I told the gray stone about how I found out that everything that happened between Blake and me was just a huge misunderstanding. Blake never cheated on me. I told Ryan about how Blake came to the school and thought we were dating. I filled him in on everything I experienced when I went back home. And then I fussed at him, telling him how I’m still so mad at him for not talking to me when he needed me the most, although I understand he couldn’t control it. I let him know that I miss him, and that I love him so much and think of him often.

  After a good cry—one that I know if Ryan was here, he would’ve let me use his shoulder and get it all out before saying something that made me laugh—I went home feeling better.

  And…as usual…I’ve buried myself back into work.

  “Good morning, my sunshine!” Izzy pops into my office wielding a coffee cup. “White chocolate mocha.” No cinnamon. Only Blake would know that.

  I smile, knowing it’s not reaching my soul. “Thanks,” I chirp, trying to sound legitimately happy.

  She sits in the chair across from me, flipping her auburn hair off her shoulders and narrowing her eyes at me. “Alright, Dakota. Spill it. Don’t tell me nothing. Every time you do, you’re lying and I hate lies.”

  I take a sip of my coffee before placing it on my desk and tapping my fingers on the side of it. “I miss it,” I admit for the first time out loud.

  “Miss what?”

  “Home. My parents. Blake. Cameron Falls.”

  “Then what’s keeping you here?”

  Resting back into my chair, I spread my arms at my office, the very place I found solace not too long ago. “The fact that my life is here.”

  “Is it, though?” She switches her tea to her other hand. “You can make a life anywhere, Dakota. Before I settled here, I spent several years in different places. I’ve made this my life. This is where my heart is, where I want to be. You should ask yourself—is this where you truly want to be?”

  I gaze at her, unblinking, thinking.

  Is it where I want to be now?

  “If work is stopping you from living a life, open up a shop. You’re more than capable of being a business owner.”

  “The behind the scenes bothers me and you know it. Payroll. Taxes. Legalities. I just prefer to work for you. To let you handle all the hard stuff while I make your name prettier.” I flash a true smile.

  She grins, the green in her hazel eyes seeming to sparkle against the lights above us. “I like that you make me look good, but just to remind you, I also won’t hold you back. I’ll guide you if needed.”

  My day was short although it felt exceptionally long. I had to meet with Greg and his architect to go over the new plans because no one could agree on the original ones. I set my things down on the recliner and pull open my sliding glass door, allowing fresh air to fill the space.

  My phone rings, a distinctive sound to let me know a video call is coming in, and I can’t help but cheese as I answer it.

  “Hey, Momma!”

  “Hey, baby.” The picture moves all around until she sets it on the kitchen counter. “How was your day?”

  “Good,” I tell her and then recount my day, filling her in on the headache. “Where’s Daddy?” I ask.

  She rolls her eyes, taking a sip of her hot tea. “Hunter messed up. He forgot to put a piece of equipment in park or something and it rolled into a building. Your daddy said it jammed something. I don’t know what. I don’t understand what anything is, but he stayed behind to help fix it and the building.”

  I laugh. “It almost sounds like Rhett needs to find Hunter a job at a pillow-stuffing company.”

  Momma cracks up, shaking her head. “Don’t tell your father I said this, but when he first started a hundred years ago, he had his fair share of mindless mess-ups.”

  “What? Daddy did?”

  “If you tell him I told you, I will disown you,” she jokes with a stern look.

  “I won’t say a word. Have you decided what you’re going to do with Granny’s house yet?”

  “Actually, that’s another reason I called. Your dad and I have discussed a few ideas and I wanted to run them by you.”

  Grabbing a glass from my cabinet, I pour some wine and settle into the corner of my couch, tucking my feet under me. “I’m all ears.”

  Before I visited this last time, we didn’t have daily talks. Hell, we only talked once a week and usually it wasn’t about anything important and never a video chat. But now, although I’m seventeen hours away, it’s like I never left…sorta.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Blake

  The heat is blistering today—unusually warm since normally this time of year, the summer air is being pushed out by the autumn breeze. Soon my days will be full of keeping the animals warm instead of cool, coats and wool caps instead of t-shirts, and coffee all day instead of just in the morning. I’m a fan of winter, though it’s rough.

  I love seeing fresh snow on the ground, the way everything smells fresh and crisp, and how everything around us seems more peaceful. When the mountains are covered, it’s the most breathtaking backdrop.

  Since Dakota left, I’ve been keeping myself pretty damn busy. The first week, I was a recluse. I took a few days off to lick my wounds and pull myself back together. I was in no shape to be around anyone. I was mad—at her, at myself, at the entire damn situation.

  No one has spoken to me about it—not Ma, not Rhett, not Pops—and I couldn’t be more grateful. I don’t want to talk about how I gave it my all and it still wasn’t good enough to keep her. And that shit? That messes with my head. But I don’t regret it. Second chances don’t come around often.

  This heartache is just as painful and destructive as the first, but it feels even shittier. To know I couldn’t convince her to stay with me only proved that I wasn’t in her heart and soul like she is mine. But this time there’s closure, and when I get my head screwed back on right, I’m moving on with my life. I refuse to be stuck in limbo anymore. No more wasting my time on what-ifs.

  Hunter and Davis are chuckling when they come strolling through the barn but stop in their tracks when they see me.

  “Why are you doing the grunt work?” Hunter asks looking confused.

  I stand, leaning my forearm on the handle of the pitchfork. “You’d rather do it?” I push the handle toward him. “Be my guest. At least if you’re mucking, you ain’t fucking up something else.”

  In the past three weeks, the kid has messed up more than he is good for.

  Davis stifles a laugh but loses it at the end.

  Hunter throws his hands up in mock surrender grinning as he shakes his head. “Nah, man. You’re doing a fine job.”

  I give a sharp nod and chuckle. “Thought so.”

  Davis slaps me on the back of the shoulder. “He might not appreciate it, but I do.”

  They both take off in the direction of the shop and I almost feel the need to warn Richard. Instead, I get back to work.

  Ten minutes later, my phone rings, displaying Ally’s name… again. I’ve learned something about her. She feeds off vulnerability. Since Dakota left, Ally’s been trying to force herself back into my life, figuring there was no competition anymore. This time, though, she’s been different, saying more endearing things, wanting more permanent things. She’s turned desperately clingy—a huge turn-off. She told me that seeing me with Dakota again made her realize she wanted to give us a try. She even went as far as telling me she thinks we could make a great couple. Although it’s time for me to move on from Dakota, Ally forcing herself into my life is not the way it’s going to happen.

  I
nstead of answering her, I send her to voicemail… again. I’ve told her during the day I’m busy, but that doesn’t stop her from calling constantly.

  I shove my phone back into my pocket and get back to work.

  “You always did grunt work when you were mad.”

  That voice has my head snapping in her direction. Dakota. She’s at the end of the aisle, her shoulder dropped to the post and her arms crossed. She’s wearing a smile and those stupid fucking heels, and it pisses me off.

  “Got a lot to be pissed about,” I gruff. Ignoring her, I grab the shovel and start loading the wheel barrel. Whatever she’s here for, I don’t give a damn. We all know it won’t be for long.

  “I’d be pissed this place isn’t air conditioned and has nothing pretty to look at,” she says and I want to roll my eyes. It’s a damn barn. “You should talk to Rhett. I know an interior designer he could call. She’s new in town and looking for new clients.”

  Now that catches my attention. I lean the shovel against the stall and turn toward her. “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah.” She grins, pushing off the wall and coming toward me. “I mean, she’s really new. Hasn’t even opened a shop yet. Crazy, I think. Big designer living in a little town.”

  Skeptical, I just watch her. Unsure. Hating how hope is causing my heart to thunder in my chest.

  She looks around. “Rumor has it she’s madly in love with a guy from here and she realized she didn’t want to live without him anymore. Also heard she broke his heart a time or two, so she’s got a helluva lot of making up to do. A lot of things to prove to him, but I’ve got faith in her.”

  I’m fucking dreaming. “Oh yeah? How do you think she’ll do it?”

  “For starters, I think she’s going to apologize. Possibly beg for forgiveness.” She moves closer to me.

  I take a couple of steps away from the stall and toward her.

  “Then she’ll tell him how she feels. He deserves to know.”