by Brenda Ford
“Rachel,” I gasp out as I pull her face towards me. I need to kiss her again more than anything in the world.
As our lips bash together, I tug on her until she crashes on the bed and I spin around till the weight of my body is on top of her. A small, gorgeous moan flies out of her mouth showing just how turned on she is by this, which of course makes me dizzy with desire. I can’t stop my hands as they slide down her body and I cup the stunning curve of her butt. She really does have the best voluptuous body I have ever seen.
She arches her back, rolling her hips against me, showing me that she wants more. My thundering heart pumps boiling hot blood around my body, encouraging my itchy fingers towards the waist band of her tight black leggings. I slip my hand in to her panties and stroke her soft pubic hair. I feel the same curl that she has in her hair which makes me wild and animalistic. I want to tear her clothing off and to just devour her already… but I’m trying to make myself a little more behaved than I want to be.
“Oh fuck,” I groan as I slip against her soaking wet slit. She’s so turned on and it’s all for me. It’s almost like she has been wanting this for years, like she has experienced lots of tortured foreplay and it’s all been leading up until this very moment. That probably isn’t the truth, but the idea is incredibly exciting for me. “Oh, Rachel.”
She pushes herself against me, edging my fingers passed her clit and towards her core. Instantly, I’m drawn deep inside of her where I can massage her and send her wild. She grips on to me so tightly that I’m sure she will be leaving dig marks in my skin, but I don’t care. In fact, I want more. The delightful little mewing sounds coming out of her mouth as I thrust my fingers in to her are incredible, so is the stunning slack jawed expression on her face as I push her towards the brink of orgasm is wonderful. I want to snap a mental picture of this sight so I can commit it to memory forever so I can always remember what this is like.
“Oh Angelo,” she hisses as I trace my thumb over her clit, trying to see how quickly I can tip her over the edge. Judging by the way she is bucking and shuddering already, it won’t be long. “Oh my God, Angelo.”
She lets out a scream as I finally send her in to the oblivion and in that moment, I can honestly say that I feel more for her than I ever thought possible. I’m in trouble here. I’m risking everything and I could lose it all… yet I wouldn’t change what’s happening right now for anything in the world.
Chapter Fifteen
Rachel
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I jump to a standing position rapidly once the orgasm has shattered through me. Kissing was one thing, but that was a step too far. Now, we’re real cheats and I don’t like that at all. It doesn’t matter at all that we aren’t the first ones to do something wrong, it shouldn’t have happened.
“How is this helping?” I whisper to myself, angry and sad. “What are you doing, Rachel?”
“What are you talking about?” Angelo asks me. Sadness taints his tone and I’m sure it’s my behavior right now. I’m not exactly acting the way that I should be doing. “Are you okay, Rachel?”
“We just shouldn’t keep doing this,” I reply sharply. “It’s wrong. I am supposed to be helping you not making it worse. It seems like I’m just complicating things when I’m around you. I don’t want that…”
Angelo grabs me on the shoulders and stares in to my eyes. He hasn’t got the same wild-eyed panic that I feel. “Rachel, don’t worry,” he tries to reassure me. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“How though? Because you’ll go back to Mandy and act like it didn’t happen again…”
I’m sure this isn’t something that I should be saying, but I’m too panicked to keep it inside. Now me and Angelo have really gone too far, and I know that there’s no turning back. What I think we have actually done is wreck any chance that we might have had with one another by moving far too fast.
“I don’t want to be with Mandy anymore,” he tells me with a serious confidence that I wasn’t expecting. “We already pretty much broke up and I will be honest with you, neither of us have been in it for months now. I’m sure that we’re still together out of habit more than anything else. Because we’re too scared to break out of our comfort zone and to see what else might be out there for us. But it’s time.”
I suck in a breath and hold it for a moment, trying not to get my hopes up too much from that one comment. That doesn’t mean he wants to be with me. What it could mean is that he wants to explore every woman out there. He’s been with the same person for too long and now he wants to sew his wild oats. He also could be just saying this without really meaning it. it could be another heat of the moment thing and he will be back with Mandy tomorrow morning. My heart really needs to stop racing and getting carried away.
“So, you’re… you’re going to break it off with Mandy then?” I gasp, still needing this answer.
“Yes. I’m done with her. You have made me see that she isn’t what I want.”
“And what do you want? Or do you still need time to figure that much out?”
“I want you.” He tells me with too much terrifying certainty. After all these years of pining after this man, it’s so scary to think that he might actually want me now. That he might be willing to give everything up for me. I’m used to this being unrequited. I don’t like it, but I’m used to it. I don’t know how to take that changing, if I will even be able to accept it at all. “I want you and no one else. There is something about you, Rachel. Like I said before, you fascinate me. I am intrigued by you and the connection we have. The bond, the chemistry. All of it. I don’t know about you, but I really want to see where this thing with us could go.”
It’s everything that I have ever wanted to hear, all of my fantasies coming true at once. Yet it doesn’t feel like I expected it to. When my happy ever after arrived, I thought that it was going to be perfect. But this isn’t. Not yet anyway. Maybe when things improve and he is fully away from Mandy, I can relax in to it.
“I will go,” I whisper while rising up on to my tip toes to give him one last kiss. “I will leave for now so we don’t end up doing anything else to make this more problematic, but once you are single, I would love to see where this goes as well. I think that me and you might really have something special here.”
He brushes his lips against mine, stroking my nose with his as he does, and in this moment, it really does feel like he might be falling for me. I don’t know if he can ever be as deep in to it as I am since I have wanted him forever, but to have anything back from him is incredible. Now, I just need to stop worrying that the reality won’t be as good as the fantasy and that everything will fall apart as quickly as it began.
Perhaps this is destiny, and everything has happened the way that it has for a reason. For me and Angelo, this could be the beginning of our happy ever after. We just need to make sure that we really start it in a way that’s right. I have to walk away now so when we reunite it will all be perfect. I just hope that he comes to me.
“Goodbye,” I whisper against his mouth, my breath heating up his face. “For now, anyway.”
“I don’t want to let you go.” His eyes fall closed. “I want to stay like this forever. But I know that I have to. Just for now. Then the next time I see you, things can really begin.”
It takes every ounce of self-restraint and will power that I have to walk away from him knowing that for the first time in my life I really have him. But this won’t be the end of us and that’s what I need to remember. If anything, it’s just the beginning of me and Angelo, together at last.
“Okay, what is going on with you?” Sheri demands, her eyes narrowed suspiciously at me. “You’re all weird.”
“I’m not.” I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. The excitement is building to boiling point.
“You are. You’re all excessively happy and it’s creeping me out. Tell me what’s going on already.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, wondering if this is a good ide
a or not. I have been keeping this away from Sheri for a reason. Because she’s going to kick my ass for this however much I explain it to her that things are good now. That we have a plan, and everything is going to turn out okay. But I need to. Someone has to know what’s going on with me and Angelo before I lose my damn mind over this.
“It can’t be the date, can it?” Sheri demands. “Because you vanished in the middle of it.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I just got sick, that’s all. I tried to tell you, but you were all over Luke.”
“Did you tell Tom? Because I don’t think he knew what was going on either.”
Guilt flows through me. I really didn’t mean to upset Tom. He’s such a nice person. “I’m sorry about that.”
“He liked you, I think. I mean, I don’t know if there was a massive spark between you…”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. I’m glad that somehow, Sheri managed to notice it as well even through all of the kissing. I didn’t know that she even peeled herself away from Luke for a second. But it must have been so obvious even from where she was sitting. There just weren’t any vibes there at all.
“No, I don’t think there was either. I just didn’t think anything of it.” I dart my eyes downwards. “Thank you for all of the effort you put in, I do appreciate that, it just didn’t quite work out.”
“But not every date has to work out. It’s all about meeting new people and getting to know what you like. Tom was a nice guy to ease you into the dating world, wasn’t he? He was easy going, wasn’t he?”
“Oh yes, he was great.” I nod and smile. “I liked him as a friend. But there will never be anything more.”
Sheri looks regretful. I’m sure she imagined all kinds of scenarios when we would be on double dates all the time. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to happen. Especially if me and Angelo are going to make things work. I should just tell her to put her out of her misery. It’ll stop her from setting up any more dates.
“You know…” I start, but before I manage to get the sentence out, Sheri continues.
“It’s just good to see you getting out of that rut with Angelo and starting to date someone who is more suitable for you. I mean, Tom might not have been the one for you, but he definitely isn’t either.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say now. She looks really determined that he isn’t right for me.
“You couldn’t hang around forever for some guy who isn’t ever going to look your way.” I part my lips again, but still nothing comes out. “And even if he does look your way, it’s going to be weird, isn’t it? It certainly can’t happen for a long time, can it? He will need plenty of time to get over his long-term relationship and to heal from any baggage that has come with it. You don’t have time to stick around and wait for that. There are so many men better out there for you and I really think that you should spend some time finding him.”
Okay, that’s it, she definitely isn’t going to be pleased that me and Angelo have been fooling around while he has a girlfriend. I’m going to have to keep it inside until I know what’s really happening.
“Hmm, yes.” I lean back and look away, needing to change the subject now. “So, I guess it’s more dating then. But I will have to take a little time first to get over the last one. While Tom was a nice guy, it was a shock to the system. I think that’s why I felt ill and left really, because it was a bit much.”
I feel terrible for lying, especially when Sheri apologizes and blames herself for pushing me in to a situation that I wasn’t comfortable with, but I guess when you do bad things that’s the consequence of it. You have to lie and do terrible things to cover up the initial lie. It sucks. I won’t let it happen again. I don’t do well with lies. This life isn’t good for me.
“Anyway, what’s going on with the band,” Sheri asks, changing the subject for me. “All good?”
“Gary thinks that he spoke to someone who might push us in the right direction. So, things might be going well. But as usual, I don’t want to get my hopes up because you know what it’s like. The music industry is filled with people who will promise the world and not deliver. Alex will get carried away, but not me anymore.”
“No, you’re much more sensible these days.” Sheri smiles knowingly. “I bet you’re a bit excited.”
I let out a little laugh because I know that she’s right. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
It’s nice to think about that instead of Angelo because now, even without her knowing, Sheri has put all kinds of doubts into my mind. Are we moving too quickly? Will it be problematic because he will have baggage? Are we going to end up being torn apart because we haven’t been sensible? I knew this was going to be messy, but now I’m really concerned.
Chapter Sixteen
Angelo
I raise my hand to knock on the door, but I don’t quite have the courage to do so just yet. I’ve been here for eight and a half minutes already and I still haven’t made it happen, but that needs to change soon or I’m going to lose my mind. I absolutely have to say what I need to, or I’ll complicate things even further.
“Come on, Angelo,” I hiss to myself. “Just knock already. Think about Rachel.”
The thought of Rachel is enough to have me melting into a puddle. She’s amazing, I really want to be with her, which is why I absolutely need to have this damn conversation already. With her face on my mind, I work up the courage and I bang a few times on the door, drawing Mandy and her terrifying mood towards me.
“Oh, Angelo,” Mandy says with a smile as she swings the door open. She looks happy like she has completely forgotten that we argued the last time we saw one another. “Good, you’re here. Come in.”
I step inside, my heart thundering painfully against my rib cage as I do. It’s all well and good being brave when I’m outside and thinking about Rachel, but now with Mandy right in front of me, I’m freaked out all over again. I know what her temper is like and I’m one hundred percent going to unleash it today. I don’t stand a chance. I just need to remember to hold my head up high and to keep strong no matter what.
“You want a coffee?” She glances at her watch. “I’m supposed to be meeting my friend in a bit, but…”
“Mandy, we can’t do this anymore,” I blurt out a little too loudly. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
“Huh?” She spins and stares at me, her eyes wide with shock. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t… I can’t be with you.” I shake my head slowly. “This isn’t working. It hasn’t been working for a long time. Six months probably. Maybe even longer, I barely know anymore. It’s hard to keep track.”
“What the hell do you mean ‘hasn’t been working’? It’s been fine. We’re fine.”
“No, we aren’t. Are you serious, Mandy? You know that it’s been bad. You are cheating on me; I know that you are. And you know what, it doesn’t even bother me. I don’t care because my heart isn’t in it anymore.”
“You are kidding?” she screams. “You have to be joking me. I am the best you are ever going to get, Angelo. I mean, look at me. I’m beautiful. And look at you. I am better than you could ever hope for.”
Her words leave me breathless. I wouldn’t ever expect her to be so cruel to me. I know that she has a nasty streak, I have been on the wrong end of it a few times, but never quite this bad.
“Okay, well even if that’s the case, I don’t think this is going to work out any longer. I don’t want this to turn in to a tit for tat. I certainly don’t want to call each other names, I just want to have an adult discussion…”
“You are a fucking asshole,” she yells, ignoring everything that I just said. “You’re a fucking asshole who doesn’t know what he has. Do you know what I have sacrificed for you? What I’ve given up? Huh, you have no idea. You don’t have a damn clue. And now you are the one breaking up with me? I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that you are saying any of this to me. I’m stunned. I don’t even know what…”
; “Mandy, please. Please don’t do this. Please don’t turn this into something nasty.”
“Me turn this into something nasty? You’re breaking up with me. I don’t even know what to say.”
I stare at her, wondering how I will ever be able to get through to her. I know that our communication is bad, it always has been which has been part of the problem, but this has to be the worst time ever.
“You don’t need to say anything. Nothing at all. I have said my piece now. I think that this is just the end of the matter. If you don’t have anything else to say, then so be it.” Tears fill my eyes. I do feel a little bad for all of this. I don’t like ending it with Mandy in this way, but it has to be done. “I will leave you now.”
“I have so many more things that I want to say, but I don’t see the point.” She tosses her hands in to the air in frustration. “I want to understand you completely. But if you’re fucking off and ending our relationship in this way after so many years of us being together then so be it. I’m disgusted with you but that’s how it is…”
“Disgusted? Because I’m finally standing up for myself? Fine, you’ve made this easy.”
“Easy? Wow. You really are horrible, Angelo. Horrible. I’m glad this is over and yes; I have been cheating on you. Is that what you want to hear? That I found happiness with another man? Well, now you know. So, you haven’t really broken up with me because I haven’t ever really been in this anyway.”
With a nod and a crack forming across my heart, I take a step back away from Mandy. It’s horrible to lose her this way, but it’s definitely the right thing to do. She isn’t lying when she says that she didn’t give a shit and I believe that despite not caring, she would have stuck with us forever, leading me on even knowing that I wasn’t the one that she wanted. I am glad to have cut ties with her. Thank goodness Rachel gave me the strength.
