by Brenda Ford
“You taste nice,” Oliver whispers, his words tickling over my lips. “Like strawberries.”
Before I can answer him, Oliver’s hungry lips move off mine and cascade down to my throat. Flames dance all over me, each kiss ignites a new set of butterflies, flapping my legs completely turn to jelly. I tilt my head back further and expose more of my throat to him, which Oliver takes full advantage of. He sucks and licks hard, probably leaving a mark and claiming me. Luckily, I want to be claimed by him. Especially when it feels like this. I want him to claim every part of me because he makes me feel safe.
“Get on the bed,” Oliver suggests. “I don’t want you to fall. You feel all shaky.”
“That’s what you do to me.” I smile and do exactly as he commands, scooting my ass backwards over the sheets. I have to admit that it does feel better to not have to try and hold myself up.
Oliver runs his eyes all over me as I lie backwards and stare up at the ceiling. His gaze is hungry and open, he definitely wants me, but it doesn’t seem to be just an animal lust. I’m not a piece of meat for him. He takes my shoes off carefully, followed by my socks, stroking softly over my skin as he does. My fingers curl around the bed sheets as desire grips me, and I desperately need something to hold on to.
“Oh wow,” I whisper as the electricity flows up my legs. “Even this feels good.”
I immediately snap my lips closed because I don’t want to say too much. I don’t want it to be too obvious that this is my first time because that will make me look young. Rosie’s comments about my immaturity are still affecting me and I don’t want Oliver to feel the same way about me. I’m more grown up around him anyway, I feel it and I behave like it, so I need to keep that up in any way that I can.
Once my feet are bare, Oliver edges his fingers slowly up my legs to the waist band of my leggings. Even with the material separating us, making sure that he can’t fully connect with me, the intensity is so much I almost want to snatch away. He’s like a predator, hungry for my body, ready to devour me, and it’s hard for me to remain still to just let that happen. But there also isn’t any fight in me at all. I want him to take me.
“You are beautiful,” he murmurs into my ears as my leggings slowly slip down. I have to admit there is a little part of me that’s absolutely terrified, even with a man as great as Oliver, because it’s my naked flesh on show again, exposed to the world, but it’s combined with a happy excitement because he won’t make a fool of me.
Once my leggings are off and his fingers dip just under my top, a dizziness swims through my brain. The breath is completely stripped from my lungs making it impossible to get anything like enough air in, making me all messy and raw, drunk on him and desperate to take another sip.
Goose bumps pop up and down my arms as he lifts my tee shirt over my head. My bra remains, but it’s the only thing left between me and another human seeing my breasts. They rise and fall heavily with each deep breath. Even more so when his hands hook around my back and he pings my bra free.
Everything freezes and for a split second I’m sure that panic is going to claim me. I fear I will show my immaturity by running out of this house half naked, unable to go through with anything, and proving Rosie right. If I can’t do this now, if I can’t let Oliver see me, then I will truly be scarred. The past event will affect me, but this will damage me so much more. I don’t think I will ever recover, then my brand new life will be over for good. I won’t ever be able to have any kind of romantic relationship ever again.
“Oh wow,” Oliver gasps. “Everything about you is incredible, Ellie, you have no idea.”
His lips then connect with my nipple which is standing to attention for him, needing him more than I knew. His mouth covers me, his tongue flicks over me, and damn it feels good. Something related to my breasts actually feels amazing which is a wonderful news for me. I arch my back, pushing more of me into him, and he loves it.
“You like it when I taste you?” Oliver whispers. “You want me to taste more of you?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I nod and make agreeable sounds. Since this feels so phenomenal, I am willing for him to do whatever the hell he wants now. I will give myself over to him willingly.
His lips slide down my stomach, leaving a sparkling trail of space dust behind. By the time he reaches the waist band of my panties, I’m ready to let out a loud scream of bliss, regardless of who may or may not be in the house. It doesn’t even matter if everyone hears, this is something else.
“I like these cotton panties,” he mutters as he dips in the waist band of my underwear, twirling his fingers through my pubic hair. “They feel really good but is it okay if I get rid of them?”
“Oh yes,” I gush back. “Take them off. I need them gone.”
He yanks them down and thankfully tears his own tee shirt off. As he does so, I get a glimpse of his body. He looks better without clothes actually. His muscles are surprising and sexy. He even has one of those V’s that travels from his stomach down towards his boxers, leaving me curious as to what is at the end of that rainbow.
His hands grip on to my legs and slide all the way up until he finally connects with my core. I’m hot and wet for him, needing to be explored, so it tips me over the edge as he plunges two fingers in, sending gorgeous shock waves through me. The pleasure filled expletives that fly wildly out of my mouth even shock me.
As the rhythm of his pumping fingers picks up, his lips edge towards me, blowing hot air all over me. I stiffen as the anticipation floods me, if he can make me feel that good with my nipple then my clit is sure as shit excited to know what that wonderful tongue of his can do to me. I can’t wait to find out.
“Oh shit!” I can’t stop myself from screaming as his tongue circles and traces wonderful patterns over my most sensitive area. If this is what he meant about tasting me before, then I’m glad that I agreed. “Fuck, Oliver.”
His mouth is shoving me violently, pushing me along the tracks, sending me towards the station already. I almost want him to stop because it’s too much, it’s too intense, I feel like my head is going to explode, but I can’t. He’s a mad man on a mission, consuming me until I can’t take it anymore. Until I’m completely filled with pressure… but a good kind of pressure. One I want more of…
“Oh no, what are you doing?” I demand as soon as he whips his mouth away. “That was…”
He silences me by slamming his lips against mine. I can taste myself on him and weirdly it’s a nice sensation. Especially because his rock hard cock has been freed from its material prison at some point and it’s teasing my entrance. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to have him nearly inside of me, but a very welcome one.
“I want you,” he whispers. “I just want to check that you want me too.”
I don’t answer with words, instead I buck my hips upwards, slowly sliding him inside. He’s absolutely massive, so there is a bit of a pinch, but the pleasure over shadows it completely. I grip on to his back and scratch my fingers over his skin, trying to pull him in deeper with every single intoxicating, mind blowing thrust. There’s no stopping it this time around, the deep abyss of pleasure is more than ready to swallow me up whole and I’m content to fall hard. There isn’t any pulling away from me either, Oliver is in this as well.
“Shit, Oliver!” I call out his name like a prayer as I swirl through the pleasure, as I tumble in to the most incredible orgasmic sensations ever. I thrash as the pleasure shatters me violently, “Oh, Oliver…”
This isn’t how I thought I would lose my virginity, not that I had a plan, but I’m really glad it’s happened because this is incredible. This man is everything that I could possibly want and so much more.
The good feeling lasted for a while. In fact, as we lay next to one another panting, I didn’t think it would end, but ever so slowly a cold sensation began to settle through me, and it’s now claimed me completely. I pull my clothing on desperately, needing to cover myself up, because I absolutely ha
ve to get home now. I need to be by myself to process this, to drink it all in and to be sure that was the right thing to do.
Now, I’m not certain that was right. I don’t know if I’m acting out or not, trying to get over my past at high school, distracting myself from losing Mom, needing to get back at Rosie. All of it and none of it maybe.
By coming over here and having sex with Oliver, I have proven something to Rosie, but I don’t know what it is. That I can have him? That she can’t? That I can do what I want? I don’t know, my mind is spinning, I’m all over the place. Nothing really makes sense. All I’m certain of is the need to escape Oliver now so I can think because if I don’t there isn’t any telling which way I will go, what I will do. I don’t know if he’s looking at me now, wondering what the hell is going on, and I’m not sure that I care. I just need to be with me…
Chapter Eleven
Oliver
Why isn’t Ellie talking to me? I wonder as I stare out of the window at the Clark’s house. It’s been two days since we had sex now and then she just ran out on me without looking back. I haven’t even had the chance to see a glimpse of her. Sure, I have been at work a lot, but while I’m at home, I wait for her. For nothing.
I just want to see her for a second, not to put any pressure on her or anything, but because I want to check that she’s alright. She took the lead yet again, it really did seem like she wanted to have sex with me, but now I’m scared that she’s regretting it. It might have been one of those heat of the moment things and now she hates me.
God, I really hope that she doesn’t hate me. That’s the last thing that I want. Since she’s the first person that I have felt any kind of attraction to in a very long time, I really can’t lose her. Plus, if she’s going to continue living next door to me, then it could end up getting very complicated very quickly.
If only I had her cell phone number… then I could talk to her without seeming like I’m pushing her. That would be the ideal solution, but I don’t. Going over there would be too much as well. After all, I can’t forget that the Clark family are suffering through grief at the moment. Plus, a big life change. I need to make sure that Ellie has plenty of space to figure out what she wants to do. I have to be patient.
I hope she realizes that I will be around whenever she is ready to talk. Even if it isn’t the news I want.
“What are you doing?” Brad asks me cautiously as he steps in to the living room. “Who are you looking for?”
“Er…” I don’t want to answer that, so I turn the conversation around. “You look nice. Where are you going?”
“It’s date night.” He smiles and winks. “So, don’t expect me to be home early.”
“Say no more.” I hold up my hands in a surrendering gesture. “You have fun, okay?”
“Sure, sure.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and refuses to meet my eyes. “I know I say this a lot and you never take me up on my offer, but I am always here if you want to talk, okay?”
This is the first time that I really do want to talk because I need to know what he thinks about everything. But I can’t find the words about my sticky situation, so I simply shake my head no.
“Thank you, Brad, I really do appreciate it. But I’m good, thanks. You have a good night.”
Brad stares at me for just a second before he exits the room, sensing that I’m really not going to say anything else, but before I can let out a sigh of relief, he’s yelling me again.
“Oliver, you have a visitor here. Someone that I’m sure you’ll want to see.”
Instantly, I assumed that it’s going to be Ellie, finally coming to have the much needed conversation with me, but as I bound over to the door I see a different face. One who isn’t pleased to see me.
“Rosie?” God, she’s pissed. I can see it from here. She’s going to tear my head off. I did wonder why she hasn’t screamed at me about Ellie before and now I’m going to get it. Perhaps she’s just found out.
“Well, I’m off,” Brad continues brightly, not seeing the issue at all. “See you guys later.”
Now there isn’t even going to be a witness when Rosie kills me. That’s just perfect. I smile at him though and let him go before I step aside and let Rosie inside. I try and brace myself for the onslaught that’s about to come, but I don’t know if anything will be able to prepare myself for it. She is going to destroy me.
“Rosie… are you okay?” I stammer. “You… you look a little stressed out.”
“No, I’m not. Do you have anything to drink around here? Something strong?” I shake my head no. “Urgh, you are useless. I really just want to block this shitty day out and you can’t even do that.”
She flops on to one of the chairs in the living room, making herself feel at home like always. I want to try and relax with her, but I’m too tense. I perch on the edge of another chair and watch her. I wait for her to start this conversation because I really need to know where her head is at before I put my foot in it.
Of course, all I can think about is however bad this is for me, it will be a million times worse for Ellie. She and Rosie would have been arguing even more, ever since she found out. No wonder Ellie hasn’t been in touch. Despite my best intentions, I did get in the way and make things worse between them. I’m an asshole.
“You are being quiet,” I half laugh as I force myself to break the silence. “What’s up?”
As soon as those words fly out of my mouth, I regret it. The bear is already here, why am I poking it? Now I have basically just invited her to rip me apart. I’m sure that she will jump at the chance. I need to come up with an answer to everything that she says. Not an excuse, just something to calm her down.
“I just can’t believe it, Oliver, this is all so crazy, isn’t it? How has this happened?”
“Wh… what?” Shit, what can I tell her? That it just happened? No, that would be a lie. Can I tell her that I’m really into Ellie or will that only upset her more? “What’s going on, Rosie?”
“It’s Tristan.” She slides her eyes closed and tosses her head back. “He’s cheating on me again.”
It takes me a couple of seconds to realize that I’m not about to be in trouble after all, that this has nothing to do with Ellie and only to do with Rosie’s troubled relationship. I must be silent for a beat too long because she gives me a curious look like I should have said something by now. I quickly snap back into action.
“He… he is?” I ask. “Again? Is it with the same girl as before?”
Rosie’s face darkens. “I don’t want to remember that, Oliver. And I don’t know for sure that he was cheating on me. Just that he broke up with me to be with her. But he soon realized his mistake, didn’t he?”
I guess she doesn’t want me to mention that it was me and her making him jealous which brought him to his senses. I nod slowly and skip over that part. If she doesn’t want to remember it, then I won’t either.
“So, what makes you so worried? Something must have happened.”
“He’s just being all weird with his phone and he’s out of town a lot. I know that’s a part of his work, but it isn’t all of it. He shouldn’t be away as much as he is…” She throws her hands in the air in frustration. “And, well, I just don’t feel like I am good enough for him. I always feel like he wants more.”
Once upon a time, I would have assumed that I could offer her more. I might have even taken this chance and said as much, but now I just feel sad for my friend because she could do so much better. She doesn’t deserve to be made to feel small and silly. She should be treated like a princess.
“If Tristan isn’t making you happy, then maybe you should leave him…”
“Do you really think that?” She practically leaps on me. “Because I’m so confused.”
“Well, I don’t know,” I admit. “Because there are times when you do seem happy with him. Really happy actually. It’s like a roller coaster of ups and downs. But a lot of relationships are like that. I don’t think you sho
uld make any decisions right now while you are emotional. You should wait.”
“S… stay with him?” I can almost hear the eye roll in her voice. “Wait. That’s your advice?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have any advice for you. I’m not exactly the wisest person when it comes to relationships, am I? I haven’t had anything long term enough to know how it should be.”
“Hmm. But you have known me long term. Surely, you have something to say to me.”
She wants me to say something specific, but I don’t know what, and I really don’t need to be making any wrong moves when she’s all het up like this. All I can do is shrug and apologize.
“I’m sorry, Rosie, I can’t tell you what to do. That’s your choice.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” she pleads. “What do you think?”
Urgh, I’m going to have to give her something, so I might as well be a little bit honest and take her wrath afterwards. If she wants to kick my ass, then she’s going to find a way to do it.
“I think you should break up with him. He isn’t good enough for you.”
“You do?” Weirdly, she seems to light up at this suggestion. “Really?”
“Yes. You’ve been with him for a long time now. It might be time for you to have some space. Be single for a while and get to know yourself a little better. That way you can make sure that the next guy you are with is one who is right for you. One who treats you right. Not another Tristan.”
“But what if I have already found someone I like? Someone else?”
“You have?” Now that does surprise me. “Well, I still think some time alone would be good…”
“Why are you being so negative?” All of a sudden, Rosie leaps up from her seat. The look she gives me could burn holes right into my soul if I let it. Of all the times I have seen her filled with rage, this is the worst.
