by Jen Talty
“We’re never alone,” he whispered, pressing his lips against her ear. “Someone could always be watching.”
“Oh,” she said feeling his tongue rub against her earlobe. A shiver crawled up her spine. “But we don’t have to do this.” Allowing her body to control her mind, she cupped his face and brought his lips to hers. He didn’t hesitate as he slipped his tongue between her lips, past her teeth, and swirled it against her tongue in a hot dance that could lead to only one thing. Trouble. But the thought of stopping him now left as soon as it entered her mind. He shoved her against the door, pinning her body. His hands gripped her hips, pulling her tight against his arousal.
The kiss wasn’t the most graceful or tender one she’d ever received. It was quite messy and very rough. She liked it. That scared her. She knew what it was like to have him inside her, and she wanted that feeling again. It wasn’t just sexual, but something more. He filled her, and not just physically.
That was very dangerous. Getting attached to a man was just something she couldn’t afford. Not now. Maybe never. And never him.
The door rattled, and he shoved her inside his apartment, ripping their bodies apart. His chest heaved up and down with his choppy breath and his eyes dropped to her feet and then slowly moved up her body. A sudden rush of dampness filled her panties. The roar of her blood rushing throughout her body drowned out any other noise around her.
“You’re beautiful.”
At that moment, she felt like the most gorgeous woman in the world. She toyed with her sweater, watching the corners of his mouth tip upward.
“This isn’t right,” she said lifting her top over her head and tossing it to the floor. Right or wrong, she wanted him. “We’re not being watched in here. We don’t have to do this.” She didn’t want to stop, and didn’t think she could stop if she tried.
So, why fight it?
“Yes, we do.” He shook his head and then slammed the door closed. His smile was wicked.
She couldn’t help but smile back as he kicked off his shoes and ripped off his shirt. She’d seen him naked before. She remembered his soft skin and tight muscles. “This won’t be a regular thing. It’s just that…” What? What was this? “I just don’t think we should do this on a regular basis.”
“Whatever you say.” He paused, looking at her. He didn’t say anything, just stared. Waited. “Whatever you want.”
“I don’t know what I want.” That wasn’t entirely the truth. They both knew it, and by the smug look on his face, he was going to have fun with it.
“Yes, you do. Just say it.” He inched closer, whispering. “Say it.”
“I want you.” The words felt like honey rolling off her lips, sweet and delicious. No regrets. Marrying him was the right thing to do for Andy in the long run. Having sex with him would help make the relationship believable.
And if she was being honest, she wanted it.
She wanted him.
“I want you, too.” He ran a finger over her belly, gripping her hips. Something about the way he tugged at her jeans, managing to undo the button and pull down her zipper made her think that she’d be unable to resist him. Maybe this marriage would work after all. No denying the physical chemistry they shared.
He knelt, pressing his hot lips against her stomach just above her belly button. “Say you want me. Say yes.”
“I already did.” She ran her fingers through his soft hair and watched his tongue glide across her skin. This felt too natural. Too normal. She wanted to feel like wanting him should be wrong. But it didn’t.
“Say it again.” He tugged her jeans over her hips and helped her slip out of them.
“Yes,” she whispered.
He pushed her panties aside and slid his finger inside her, stroking gently. His hot breath panted against her skin sending a warm tingle everywhere. She should feel naked standing there in his family room while he brought her body pleasures she’d only imagined before, but she felt as though she’d been set free.
Dropping her head back, she closed her eyes tight and let the sensations take over. His finger was deep inside her as he shifted her with his other hand, leaning her against the couch and lifting her knees over his shoulders. She heard her own faint moans and cries of pure passion. The things this man could do with his tongue should be outlawed.
“Oh, God.” A sudden pang of jealousy surged through her body. She did her best to ignore it and just let the moment of ecstasy stay with her. Nothing in her wildest dreams ever came close to this, but knowing other women had been with him like this, would experience this with him, was too much to think about. “I want you inside me.” She yanked at his head with force.
He blinked at her in surprise, but then licked his lips and smiled. “Okay,” he said, placing her feet on the floor and then stood. “Turn around.”
“Oh, God,” she said again swallowing her breath, but did as he requested, spreading her legs and leaning over the sofa completely exposing herself to him. She was his for the taking.
She heard the faint sound of his zipper being tugged, the tear of plastic, and the rustling of what she assumed was him putting on a condom. She should turn around and look, but didn’t. His hands smoothed up her back, unlatching her bra and she watched it fall to the sofa. Coarse fingers tingled up her spine and around to her breasts, pinching her taught nipples. Biting down on her lip, she arched her back in search of him. All of him.
“Now,” she begged, wishing the need to be filled by him wasn’t so desperate. She felt his tongue trace a path across her back as he pressed himself against her ass and thrust himself easily inside her.
Whispering words she didn’t understand, he pulled out and then started all over again. It was slow, tender, and sweet. It was close to perfect. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes trying to focus on only the physical part. It was just sex, slightly kinky sex at that. It meant nothing to him. He didn’t love her.
She wouldn’t love him.
“What’s wrong,” he said.
Panic set in when she realized he had suddenly stopped. “Nothing,” she said between choking back the tears and trying to encourage him to continue. “Please.”
He kissed her back and ran his hands over her skin. “Let’s move to the bedroom.”
“No. Here. Now.” She didn’t mean to sound so demanding, but if they moved, she wouldn’t be able to continue. She’d lose her control for sure. She couldn’t do that again. Not in front of him.
“Are you sure?”
She reached around and pulled him closer, deeper. Inhaling his rich smell, she once again focused on the moment. “Yes,” she whispered as he continued to make love to her. Lost in the sensations her body was experiencing, she began to relax, letting the outside world disappear from her mind.
When she’d reached her limit, she felt his fingers lace with hers and he squeezed tight. His hot breath panted across her skin. He whispered her name a few times and then slammed himself into her. She could feel his release explode inside her. Crazy thoughts of having this whenever she wanted filled her head. He was a good lover. A good man.
But it was all one big act.
Part of her knew that this scene was about getting comfortable with each other. They not only had to make the social worker, a bunch of lawyers, and a judge believe they truly loved each other, but they had to make Andy believe it. The more intimate they were with each other, the easier that became. Or at least that is what she told herself.
Granted she was attracted to him, but that wasn’t enough. And she knew it. If they could pull off this marriage, then she’d have a much better chance at beating Taylor at his own game.
“You okay?” he questioned.
“Wonderful.” She reached back and patted his cheek. Faking it had never been so important before. Okay, so she didn’t have to fake the orgasm, but faking she cared, or didn’t care.
Oh, God, I do care. Not a good sign. Not for the long haul.
He chuckled. “Me, too.”
“We should probably get back,” she said and then let out a sigh. She wasn’t faking her heavy heart. Frank did things to her on an emotional level. She wasn’t sure what those emotions were exactly since she’d never felt like this before, but she couldn’t let it get to her. Those emotions would only hurt her in the end.
“Yeah,” he said giving her a little pat on the bottom and then he stepped away from her, leaving her feeling naked.
Everything had changed, and she wasn’t sure if it was for the better, or for the worse. She’d be in a marriage that would have great sex with no love and lots of guilt.
Not how she pictured her life.
She wasn’t exactly sure how she’d pictured it when she’d left for Vegas. She wanted anything but trailer park life. When her feet hit the strip, she’d sworn she’d never settle for anything ever again, but this wasn’t about her anymore. It was about Andy and keeping him from his father. This, she’d die for. This, she’d settle for.
Damn, Taylor would have to pay. And big.
10
Stupid shit. Frank twisted the soda can top as he sat at the picnic table outside Lacy’s trailer. The silence on the way to her trailer had been worse than any crying fit a woman could manage. Regardless, he had no idea what to say to her. He shouldn’t have had sex with her in the first place, especially like that. It wasn’t a one-night stand, but wasn’t a relationship either.
Taking her like that in his family room was just plain stupid. And selfish.
He glanced toward the door just as she stepped out onto the stoop. Her hair fell over her right shoulder and moved slightly as she did. She looked directly at him with the corner of her lips turning up in a forced smile.
“You okay?” What a lame question. Of course, she wasn’t okay. Her nephew was with an animal and there was nothing she could do about it. Hell, there wasn’t much her cop fiancé could do about it either. Frank knew he’d taken advantage of her vulnerability even after he promised himself he wouldn’t. He was a number one asshole, and should be shot for his actions.
“Yes and no,” she replied.
“What does that mean?” He watched her shuffle toward him with her arms wrapped around her middle. She didn’t look like a woman who had just been given great pleasure by a man who was supposed to be able to rock her world. Suddenly getting married seemed like a stupid idea, but it was too late to back out now.
“I’m just worried about Andy, that’s all.”
He noticed she fiddled with her diamond as she sat down across from him. It had amazed him that it fit so perfectly. Lucky guess on his part. His heart lurched. The idea that she noticed the ring somehow made things a little better. “Ms. Lazzery is there, so it should be fine. If Taylor gets unsupervised visits any time soon, then we should worry.” If that did happen, Frank would have someone there, watching. Maybe he should tell her that someone was there now.
“But he’s keeping something from me. Something about Hannah. I can feel it.”
“I’d have to agree with you there, but we can’t push him too hard. Whatever it is, he somehow thinks keeping it a secret is best for him. Or maybe you.” A kid with a horrible secret could snap in a second. Regardless of the progress Andy had been making, Frank knew something truly terrifying ruled his actions.
“If Taylor ever gets him alone…”
He reached for her hand. It trembled against his. “With me around all the time, Taylor won’t have a chance in hell to get to him.”
“Speaking of all that,” she paused, glancing down at her ring again, “when will all that happen? The wedding?”
Good question, and the sooner the better. “I really don’t like you guys being here alone, but until we’re married we’re kind of stuck.” Her fingers gently rubbed his skin. He wondered if it was a mindless reaction to holding hands, or something more.
Why did he want it to be more?
“Would you consider staying at my parents’ house until the wedding?”
“I don’t know. That might be weird, and I think I should talk to Andy about moving. I have to make him part of the process.” She let out a long sigh. “This is nuts. We can’t just up and get married.”
“Yes, we can. People do it all the time.” Reaching across the table, he tilted her chin with his thumb forcing her to look at him. “We can get married in my parents’ backyard. Probably next weekend if we want, and I can have you moved in that day. It’s going to be all right. Just trust me.”
“Trust you,” she said. “That’s not all that easy for me.” The slight flicker of pain in her eyes hit his conscience hard. He was lying to her, even if he felt it was for her own good. She should be able to trust him. He would do whatever was necessary to make sure the person responsible for Hannah’s death was put behind bars. He would do everything in his power to protect her and Andy. Trust was usually based on truthfulness, and if he told her the truth, she’d push him away, making her situation even worse.
Making her a sitting duck for Taylor to manipulate, and in the end, destroy.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you,” he said softly.
“It’s not you.” She pulled her hand away. “It’s your uniform.”
“I don’t understand.” He risked his life daily for the people of the State of New York and he didn’t ask for anything in return. It was his job. One he loved. It baffled him that she had such disdain for cops. “Why?”
“You wouldn’t understand and would just take it personally.”
“Maybe. But since we’re getting married, I think I have a right to know why you hate what I do.” Anything to help him understand her better would make their relationship look more like a real marriage, but he truly wanted to know.
“My father was killed by an off-duty cop who was drunk,” she admitted. Normally when she spoke to Frank, even when upset, she had a softness about her. Something feminine and sweet. That soft expression was suddenly hard and cold. “He barely got a slap on the wrist.”
“What happened…exactly?” The whole one bad cop thing was so cliché and stupid. There were bad people in every profession, including law enforcement. They did their best to weed out the not so great candidates, but cops were human. Humans that sometimes were put in extraordinary circumstances. Sometimes they just couldn’t handle it.
Frank knew that first hand. Even though he’d done things to the letter of the law, he knew it had been a mistake to walk away from Hannah that night, a mistake he was paying for every day of his life. A mistake he planned on making right.
“The short version. My father stepped between two men fighting at a bar. One had a knife, the other a gun. The gun went off, killing my father. The cop held the gun and he was drunk. To make matters worse, he was the one who had started the fight in the first place.”
Sometimes Frank wondered if it was better to let idiots kill each other. It was always dangerous to step between drunks with weapons. The best-case scenario would be to call the cops and walk away hoping no one else got hurt. However, if everyone knew the man was a cop, they probably just turned a blind eye assuming he had it under control.
“I’m sorry,” he said for lack of anything better. “Not all cops are bad. Actually, most of us are the good guys.”
“But the cop was never really punished. They just took away his badge. I’m probably still paying for his salary in some way.” She rubbed her hands on her thighs. “I’m not saying you’re like that, but that is part of why I have a hard time trusting you. The police always stick together, always think they’re right.”
“Pretty much,” he admitted. “But we don’t like dirty cops. That really isn’t tolerated.”
“I don’t like how easy it is for cops to use their status to either walk away or not pay for what they’ve done.”
Well fuck me. Nothing like calling the kettle black. Might as well enlighten her, just a little. “That Trooper didn’t know about the restraining order until after your sister died.” For now, he’d give her what
he could. Pretend he’d talked with the cop, or maybe just seen the reports. He didn’t like lying, but she couldn’t know it was him. Not yet anyway. Maybe never. “Since he didn’t know--and she didn’t tell him--legally there was nothing he could do. If he had arrested Taylor, the whole thing would have been thrown out of court and Taylor would still be walking around.”
“And my sister might still be alive.”
To be killed another day. He felt his lungs constrict as though someone just slammed their fist in his gut. He could barely breathe. His muscles tensed and quivered under his skin. The blood in his veins raced through his body in a panic. He could feel a cold sweat start to bead at his hairline. Taking in a short breath, he tried to calm the sense of dread circling his mind. Now was not the time to fall apart. He couldn’t go back to that place.
“No way of knowing that for sure. A lot of what ifs there.”
She scrunched up her face in frustration. “Are you sure the cop didn’t know? Have you talked to him?”
“I did a little digging on my own, digging that could get me in trouble.” Another lie, but he couldn’t have her pushing him. He glanced to the sky and followed a path to the Big Dipper. “If she’d told the cop about the restraining order, maybe he could have done something.”
“If that’s the case, then the system sucks.”
“Parts of the system are a pain in the ass, even for us cops.” He felt as though they were talking in circles and wondered if it was best to be quiet for a while. He wouldn’t be able to change her mind, and he truly believed part of what she was saying was right.
Maybe Hannah would still be alive if he’d done things differently.
Or maybe she’d be dead, but not because of something Frank did.
Or didn’t do.
He shook that thought from his head. Dangerous territory for him. Glancing at his watch, he realized Andy should be home any minute. The thought of leaving them alone didn’t sit right in his stomach.
