by JA Low
I reach out and cup his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”
“Yes, I do. I know that you have a crush on Nell. And I still did what I did.”
“Actually, she has a crush on you,” I tell him honestly.
He stares at me in surprise before shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say.” He looks genuinely confused. I shrug my shoulders because there isn’t anything I can do about it. It is what it is. “I always thought you and Nell had something together?” he says, turning his head in my direction.
“Once a very long time ago, but now I’m friend-zoned.”
“Probably for the best. Can’t imagine Dom would be too happy about that.” He chuckles to himself. “Again, I’m sorry for this messed up situation. Are we good?” he asks sincerely.
“Yeah, we’re good, bro.” I reach out and give him a brotherly hug, which he receives warmly.
“Right, well. I think that’s enough excitement for me tonight. I’m going to head on out.” I give him a nod and a wave goodbye and watch him disappear into the darkness. Shit, what a night.
“Everything good?” Nell’s voice surprises me in the darkness.
“Yeah, it’s all good. One giant misunderstanding,” I explain to her as I shove my hands into my pockets because all they want to do is reach out and pull her to me and I can’t. Nell walks over and stands against the brick wall with me.
“I knew you wouldn’t have done it on purpose,” she whispers.
“How?”
“You are loyal to your family and friends, Rem,” she tells me honestly.
“And yet I fucked it up with you,” I confess in the darkness.
“Yeah, you did,” she answers solemnly.
We both stand there in silence, letting those honest words swirl around us.
22
Nell
Why, after everything, am I still drawn to Remi? Why, after all these years, I still can’t flush him from my system. No matter how much time we spend apart, I still want to climb him like a tree and have my way with him?
“I saw your billboard the other day in Times Square,” I tell him, breaking the awkward silence between us. Remi chuckles as he leans back against the brick wall. “Why do you look so embarrassed about it? It’s a great shot,” I tell him sincerely.
Remi turns his head and looks down at me through his thick lashes, green eyes glowing in the moonlight. “Because my dick’s been blown up to the size of the moon.”
“I don’t think anyone’s complaining.”
“Really?” Remi questions me.
Dammit, I didn’t mean to pay him a compliment. “Oh, how I’ve missed your ego, Remi,” I joke with him.
“Is that the only thing you’ve missed?” he asks flirtatiously.
And here we are back in the same spot I find myself in again and again. Remi flirting with me, me unable to say no. Next thing, we will roll around in the garden with my dress hiked up while I ride Remi on the bench. Not like that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Stop it. You have been doing so well on your Remi cleanse, don’t fall off the wagon now. But he looks so hot in his suit. The black fabric cut to perfection over his muscular body, the palest of pink shirts on underneath with the red tie. What kind of man can pull that combination off? Damn supermodel, that’s who. Which is kind of what he is now, based on all the fanfare over his billboard. He is literally stopping traffic with his billboard. There have been news reports on the increased traffic accidents around his billboard. His dick is distracting drivers. I get it. He’s dickmatizing. And here I am about to refuse his advances when any woman on this plant would give their left arm to be in this situation. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve slept with someone and suddenly, my lady bits have woken up and are screaming, “Do it, do it, do it.” She needs to slow her roll because nothing is going to happen, not with him, anyway.
“Remi,” I say his name in warning.
“Nell.”
This man is exhausting. “Right well, this conversation has taken a turn for the worse,” I say, pushing off the brick wall. “It’s been great catching up again. Like old times, but I’m going to get going back inside,” I tell him before I turn around and leave him in the garden.
“Or you could stay, and I could give you multiple orgasms,” he suggests seriously.
I’m so shocked by Remi’s words that I turn around quickly and stare at him in surprise. The cocky bastard gives me a grin like he’s just told me it’s going to be nothing but sunshine tomorrow, not that he’s just declared he wants to give me multiple orgasms.
“Hear me out.” Remi holds his hands up in the air to halt me, knowing I’m moments away from hauling my ass back into that wedding. “The way I treated you when we were teenagers, I broke your trust in me forever. I get it now. I keep doing stupid shit and messing things up between us.” This is true, but it’s not all him, I’ve done some stupid shit too. “Which just proves your point of never being able to trust me.”
“Rem,” I say his name, but he holds up his hand to pause whatever I want to say so he can continue, which I do.
“These past couple of months of you having me blocked everywhere has driven me crazy. But it has made me reflect on things between us.”
Well, that’s good for him even though I feel as confused as ever.
“We still have this unexplainable pull between us, Nell. You can deny it all you want, but I know you feel it too,” he explains confidently.
“I will not deny it, Remi. I’m sick of denying it. I agree every time we are around each other, I want to rip your clothes off. There I said it. I put it out there. The stupid elephant in the room,” I tell him honestly. Remi’s green eyes widen in surprise at my candor. He wasn’t expecting me to be so honest about our situation.
“I knew it,” he says with a confident smirk.
“Don’t be a dick.” I groan as I playfully swat at him, which makes him chuckle.
“In all seriousness, Nell. There isn’t anyone I want more than you. Hands down, you’re stuck beneath my skin.” Damn him and his heartfelt words. He knows just what to say to pull me back toward him. “But I know I’m not boyfriend material yet, a long way from it. Maybe that’s what growing up teaches you, to dig deep and be honest with yourself,” he tells me honestly. Wow. Wasn’t expecting this turn of events.
“You have the world at your feet at the moment, Rem. You’re on billboards. You’re the number three polo player in the world, soon to be number one. And I know your new rising star brings a lot of benefits. Enjoy everything life offers you in this moment because this life can be fleeting.”
“You mean that, Nell?” he asks sincerely.
“I may not say it often, but I am so fricken proud of you and everything you have achieved in your life. I remember you and Dom talking about your dreams growing up and being the best in the world was your dream. As far as I’m concerned, you are.” Remi’s face softens, and he looks emotional at my words, but it’s the truth. As much as I hate his guts sometimes, I can’t hate on his achievements, his hard work, and dedication to polo.
“That means a lot, thank you.” Remi rubs the back of his neck nervously, not used to my compliments. He caught me in a good mood he better not get used to it. “What about you, Nell? I thought you wanted to work for your mom’s fashion line, not just model for it,” he asks the one question I’ve been too afraid to ask myself.
“It’s complicated, you know that. Mom still doesn’t take me seriously even though I have a degree,” I say, looking down at the stone ground, uneasy about the topic.
“Hey.” Remi places a finger under my chin and makes me look up at him. “Your mom loves you, but she’s a control freak over her business. If this is what you want to do, show her it is. Unless you’re happy being a model?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I question him defensively.
“Babe, nothing. I meant nothing bad by my comment at all. It’s okay if you want to co
ntinue modeling for your mom. It’s the family business.” He tries to backtrack. I know he meant nothing by his comments, but Mom and her business are a sensitive subject for me. I thought after graduating Columbia, that maybe she would take my ideas seriously, but she’s still not interested. So, I fill my time being an influencer, at least there I’m appreciated.
“I know, Rem,” I whisper softly, letting out a long sigh.
“Hey, I get it. Remember, I used to live with your family,” he says, trying to soothe me as his hand cups my face. His thumb slides ever so slowly across my cheek as if trying to help erase my insecurities. “Just know I believe in you.”
Hearing him say “I believe in you” was something I wasn’t expecting but needed to hear. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into a cuddle.
“Hey, baby girl, you okay?” he asks, chuckling at my sudden neediness. I nod as I bury my face in his chest. “I know I don’t show my feelings cause I’m a dick. But you know that no matter what, I will always have your back, Nell.” I nod again because I truly believe him. I stay wrapped around him for longer than is appropriate, but he says nothing. We stand there together in the moonlight in silence. “I didn’t mean for our talk to get so serious. But I’m glad it did,” he mumbles against the top of my head. I inhale deeply, committing his scent to my memory again. “Guessing you really needed this cuddle?”
“Yes,” I mumble into his chest. My body vibrates against his chest as he laughs.
“You can cuddle me anytime you want, sweetheart.”
I let my hands fall from him. I knew it wouldn’t take long till it turned sexual again with him. “You couldn’t let me have that?”
“Not when you have my dick coming to life. Just needed to warn you, otherwise I’m sure I would have ended up with a knee in my dick. And that is not how I envision ending my night.” He gives me a wide grin.
“How did you envision your night ending?”
“You really want to know?” he asks seriously, raising a brow in my direction.
“Yes.” I whimper breathlessly.
“I was hoping it would end with my mouth between your legs to start with,” Remi whispers. His gaze is like a laser directly set on me. I’m finding it hard to swallow after that declaration. What am I meant to say to that? Yes. You’re meant to say yes, please.
“Oh,” is the only sound I can make. The two of us stare at one another, neither one of us daring to break the spell that is weaving between us.
“Fuck it.” Remi curses and grabs my hand in his and starts pulling me deeper into the gardens. Thankfully, it’s a full moon tonight, so there is enough light streaming through that I don’t fall and break an ankle as we make our way across the gravel. Remi stops when he spots a park bench and heads toward it.
“Take a seat, Nell,” he commands sternly. “Then I want to see your dress pulled up around your thighs.” His dirty words send shivers down my spine, and I quickly do as I am told. I’m over fighting this pull between us; it’s exhausting. I just want to enjoy the delicious orgasms that Remington Hartford pulls from my core like he is some pussy whisper. I can’t change the fact he knows exactly how to play my body to perfection. It doesn’t matter how many times I fight it, I always end up the same way on my back screaming his name. Maybe I should just give in more and enjoy the satisfaction that no strings attached sex can give me. What I should say is what no strings attached sex with Remi feels like, because no other man delivers like he does. It’s rather inconvenient.
As my ass hits the cool park bench, Remi is on his knees helping me lift my dress. His large shoulders push my legs wide for him, and I don’t even have a moment to prepare myself before Remi is diving between my thighs and his tongue is running along my slit. He makes a deep guttural growl as soon as his tongue tastes my wetness, and the vibrations send sparks all over my body.
“Oh, God,” I groan as his tongue delves deeper inside of me. Thank goodness there is a back on this park bench, otherwise I would have fallen onto the ground. I’ve missed this so fricken much. I’m done. Remi can take me any way he wants, any time he wants if he keeps doing what he’s doing with that magic tongue. My fingers entwine in his hair as I hold his head in the spot that makes my legs quake. “Yes, there. Right there, don’t move.” I urge with a rough pull of his hair, which makes him chuckle against my lips. My eyes roll back in my head as I rock against the roughness of his stubble, giving me delicious friction against my thighs until he gives my clit a hard suck just as he inserts a thick finger inside of me, which makes me splinter. Not knowing if we are alone in this garden, I clamp my teeth down hard against my lips, drawing blood as I stifle the insane orgasm that he just drew from me. Of course, Remi doesn’t stop he keeps pushing and pushing, trying to pull as much pleasure from me as he can, he loves turning me into a liquid mess of goo. And I’m here for it. Moments later, his thick fingers are hitting their spot, and I explode a second time, clenching hard around his finger. Oh, how I have missed Remi’s orgasms.
The crinkle sound of a condom wrap fills the night air, and when I eventually look up, all I see is Remi sliding the condom along his thick length. I lick my lips as I see my wetness on his fingers as he rolls the latex down along himself.
“Get up, Nell,” Remi states roughly. “And ride me.”
Yes, please. I quickly jump off the park bench and change positions with Remi. Holding up my evening dress, I straddle his thick thighs, reach between us, and wrap my hand around his dick. He hisses at my touch, which makes me grin. I line myself up before slamming down hard against his length, making both of us groan at the connection.
“Fuck, how I’ve missed your little cunt, Nell.” Remi grabs my face with his hands and glares at me intensely. “Nothing feels better than your pussy lips wrapped around my dick.” Dammit, dirty talking Remi has come out to play, and I can feel myself getting wetter with each filthy word. “No one compares to you, Nell,” he confesses before his lips crash against mine in a blistering kiss. As soon as his tongue touches mine, he moves inside of me. I’m his to do with as he pleases, and he does. He takes every ounce of pleasure from my bones until neither one of us can take it any longer and we both scream our climax against each other’s lips.
“Wow. Right. Give me a moment,” Remi asks, panting. Seeing him so spent makes me so happy. “Remind me again why we don’t do this more often?” Remi quips.
“There was a reason, but I’m finding it hard to think of it at the moment,” I answer lightly. He nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, and it feels right, and I know I shouldn’t let it feel right, but I do. We stay there for a moment, enjoying the silence between each other.
“I’m going to ask something, and please don’t hate me for asking,” Remi states as he looks up at me. His hand moves my hair from my face gently. “I want us to be friends with benefits again,” he says the last bit in a rush and squishes his face up, waiting for me to lose my mind because normally I would.
“We tried the friends with benefits thing ages ago. Didn’t work out so well,” I remind him.
“I know. But I think this time it might be different. We’ve had space, time to work on ourselves and I hope enough to put the past behind us?” he asks. Do I forgive him for breaking my heart all those years ago? I have to, I can’t keep harboring this resentment toward Remi for shit he did when we were teenagers. Doesn’t mean I want a relationship with him again, but I need to let it go.
“Yes. The past is in the past,” I tell him. He looks relieved.
“Good start. Now we both know we can’t keep our hands off each other,” he states, raising a questioning brow in my direction. I nod in agreement, it’s true, especially as his dick is still inside of me for this conversation. “Right and to be honest, I don’t want to stop fucking you,” he adds with a grin.
“Okay, I agree,” I tell him reluctantly. He seems surprised by my words then, as his green eyes widen.
“So we agree we continue having sex with each ot
her, but that’s it?” he asks cautiously.
“Correct. No emotions. No feelings. No jealousy,” I add.
“That’s fair. And we can see other people as well.”
“Yes. But you must be safe. Condoms all the time. Sexual health tests updated; you know all that stuff.” Remi nods in agreement.
“You sure about this, Nell?” he asks.
“Sure am. Are you?” I question him.
“Oh, hell yeah,” he replies excitedly.
23
Remi
The Garcia family have their annual polo day in the Hamptons during the height of summer. I’m excited because I get to see Nell today. I haven’t seen her since the wedding. And I know I said that we should be friends with benefits and that whatever we have between each other is super casual. I know I said all that, but in reality, I have been stalking her socials like a creeper all summer. Enjoying her photos in her next-to-nothing bikini on some yacht in Greece with some billionaire shipping heir. Of course, I was jealous seeing his hands all over her, but I knew the next time I would see her she would let my hands do the wandering and I couldn’t wait. I was buzzing with need over the expectation of seeing her again, and I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.
“It looks like an enormous crowd out there today. Let’s give them a show.” Nacho slaps me on the back while we are preparing the ponies for the event. I better get my mind together to concentrate on the exhibition and then, once that’s done, I’ll try to find Nell.
I ride back into the stables on a high—we won, which is always good for the ego, and the crowd was ecstatic.
“Another cracking game, Rem,” Dom states, thumping me on the back. I have spent little time with Dom since he lives in the UK, but it sure is nice to see my old friend.
