by Diane Gaston
Lucien forced a smile. ‘After the weather we’ve both endured on our ships, I doubt a little dampness will hurt me.’
Sir Richard smiled. ‘Well, change into some dry clothes and come have a brandy with me. I’ll be in the library.’
Lucien continued up the stairs to the guest room he’d been given. Cullen was there, brushing one of Lucien’s coats.
Cullen. What was he to do about Cullen?
‘Sir! I am glad you are back at last,’ the valet said.
Lucien started to take off his jacket. Cullen hurried over to assist him.
‘I went to some of the inns in Bath. Trying to find the stranger.’ Lucien felt his waistcoat. It seemed dry enough. He sat and took off his boots.
‘Ella and I saw the man when we were out,’ Cullen said. ‘He knows where Lady Rebecca lives. He was watching the house from the field in front of the Crescent.
‘I saw him, too. Just for a second. He ran off before I could reach him.’
‘Do you think he means Lady Rebecca harm?’ Cullen asked.
Lucien lifted a shoulder. ‘There is a big risk assuming he does not.’
‘That is what I thought, too, sir.’
The young man helped Lucien into a dry coat. He put on a dry pair of shoes and walked down to the library.
‘Ah, just in time,’ Sir Richard said. ‘I was about to pour the brandy.’
This room was a huge contrast to Lord Stonecroft’s library. Books were stacked on tables and laid sideways on the shelves. The furniture was aimed more at comfort than symmetry. Sir Richard spent a great deal of time in this room and it showed.
‘So your valet said our red-haired gentleman has been seen around Lord Stonecroft’s residence.’ Sir Richard handed Lucien a glass of brandy. ‘You have let Lord Stonecroft know?’
‘He knows,’ Lucien said in a tight voice.
Sir Richard’s brows rose. ‘What does that tone mean?’
‘He is more concerned with gossip and reputations than whether some stranger poses a threat.’
The older man nodded. ‘It is you he wants away from her, then.’
‘Because people talk if we are seen together.’ Lucien imitated Stonecroft’s speech.
Sir Richard lifted his glass to his mouth. ‘I am sure people do talk.’
Lucien’s eyes flashed. ‘I cannot control what people think or say.’
Sir Richard leaned back in his chair. ‘You handed her off to him, my boy. You say that is for the best. You have to let go of her, then. She is the responsibility of another man now. Not you.’
Lucien had run out of time to help her.
‘There is nothing you can do except cause her more trouble as long as she is with Lord Stonecroft,’ Sir Richard went on.
Lucien downed his brandy in one gulp. ‘It is a moot point. I had a letter from the Admiralty. I can be given a ship, but I must appear at the Admiralty by September the eighth.’
‘September the eighth!’ his friend cried. ‘That is two days’ time.’
‘I can make it if I catch the mail coach tomorrow.’ Lucien frowned. ‘So Stonecroft will have what he wishes. I will be gone.’
Sir Richard poured Lucien a second brandy.
‘I have one favour to ask of you,’ Lucien said.
‘Ask it and I will comply if I can,’ his friend replied.
‘Cullen. He needs work. I’ll write a good recommendation and leave him enough money to tide him over for a while, but will you help him?’
Sir Richard sipped his brandy. ‘I’ll do all I can. I may even hire him myself, I’m that fond of him. In any event, he may live here until the matter is settled.’
‘I am very grateful.’ At least Cullen would be off his conscience.
He and Sir Richard lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, during which Lucien mulled over his worries about Lady Rebecca. After a time spent staring into his glass, Lucien looked over at his friend.
Sir Richard was sound asleep.
Lucien drank the rest of his brandy and set the glass on the table. He rose quietly and left the library. Once in the hall, he hurried up to his room.
He flung open the door. ‘Cullen! I have a favour to ask of you.’
Chapter Nineteen
Claire sat in front of her bedchamber window, staring out at the sunless day. She wondered if she could beg off from attending dinner and so avoid being in Lord Stonecroft’s company or that of his sister.
There was so much to think about. The stranger. Lord Stonecroft. Ella.
Lucien.
Much less painful to plan her escape.
She did not know the departure time for the coach to Bristol, so the best she could hope for was to be at the West Gate Inn early in the day. Perhaps no one would think to look for her there until she was safely on her way.
She had ink, pen and paper in her bedchamber so she could write her letters without having to ask for those supplies. She’d write to Lord Stonecroft and to Ella, also leaving her a favourable letter of recommendation and instructions of what to do with her belongings. She’d leave Ella money, too, of course.
She must pack. Only what Lucien had purchased for her, though. She wanted none of the dresses Lord Stonecroft wanted her to wear. She would pack a portmanteau for the trip to Bristol and fill her trunk with the rest of her clothes and hope Sir Richard would agree to keep it until she knew where it could be sent.
Her disappearance would cause more talk among Bath society, a situation that would likely upset Stonecroft more than her crying off. Well, Lord Stonecroft and Miss Attwood would merely have to weather that small storm.
She must write to Lucien.
What would she say to him? Thank him one more time. Release him from any further obligation to her. Tell him she hoped he’d get his ship. That she hoped he could again be free and happy once he was back at sea. Be in a place he felt he belonged.
Ella entered the room, interrupting Claire’s thoughts.
The girl looked distressed. ‘M’lady, Cullen is below stairs. He says the Captain wants to see you right now!’
Claire rose from her chair. ‘Has something happened?’
‘I do not know,’ Ella cried. ‘I only know that Cullen said the Captain can’t simply call on you, because of his lordship, so he wants you to come with Cullen and meet him outside in the garden.’
Claire had never been in the garden, had never seen the back door to the house, nor accessed the garden from the outside.
‘I cannot leave by the front without the footman knowing.’ And risking the stranger seeing her if he was watching the house. ‘How am I to reach the garden unseen?’
‘I do not know,’ Ella admitted. ‘Cullen is waiting at the bottom of the servants’ stairs, but if you go out that way, you have to pass the servants’ hall and the kitchen. That is the way I leave the house when I am to visit Cullen and where he comes to visit me.’
‘Then if you go out with Cullen, no one will remark on it?’
‘Oh, they will remark on it,’ Ella said with feeling. ‘But what good will it do for me to go to the Captain?’
‘Not you. Me. We will exchange clothes and they will think I am you.’ Where had this idea come from? ‘I’ll wear your shawl and cap. I’ll hide my face some way. They will think I am you. They know you have my permission to see Cullen whenever you want.’
‘That is why they remark upon it,’ Ella said, but she was already untying Claire’s laces.
They hurriedly changed into each other’s clothes. Claire covered her hair with Ella’s cap and draped the shawl around her head.
‘Cullen is waiting at the bottom of the stairs?’ she asked.
Ella nodded.
Claire had never been below stairs where the servants’ rooms and the kitchen were, but she descended the servants’ narrow and steep stairway unt
il she reached its lowest level.
Cullen turned at her approach. ‘Ella?’ He sounded surprised.
Claire revealed her face.
‘Oh, m’lady.’ He bowed. ‘You fooled me. That is good. I was puzzling how to get you to the Captain.’
‘If I fooled you, we should fool the servants.’ She looked up at him. ‘Do you know what has happened? Ella made it sound urgent.’
‘I don’t know.’ He looked sheepish. ‘I’ll have to be askin’ you to take my arm, m’lady. I hope you don’t mind.’
She smiled at him. ‘I do not mind at all.’
She wrapped her arm though his and walked close to him, as Ella usually did. He led them down the hallway to the back door.
When they passed the kitchen, he called out, ‘I’ll be having her back in time for dinner.’
‘You had better,’ the housekeeper shot back. ‘Or she’ll not eat.’
When they reached the outside he stepped away from her.
‘The Captain will be by the outbuildings back here.’
She and Cullen crossed the garden to where the outbuildings stood and where Lucien could be seen pacing back and forth. When he spied her he strode over to her.
‘Lucien, what has happened?’
He took her hand and led her to a relatively private spot between two small storage sheds. Cullen waited a short distance away.
All her senses were on alert. ‘Tell me, Lucien, what is wrong?’
His expression was as serious as she’d ever seen it.
‘I could not call at the house, not after that encounter with Stonecroft.’ He was unsettled.
Her Lucien was never unsettled.
‘Was he dreadful to you?’ she asked.
‘I care nothing for that.’ His face filled with anger. ‘He is an abominable man. Everything I abhor in an aristocrat.’
‘I know,’ she said quietly.
‘But never mind that. I am—’ He faced her, holding her upper arms. ‘I am leaving. Tomorrow. I heard from the Admiralty. I will get a ship if I can reach London in two days’ time.’
This was what he’d counted upon.
This was really and truly goodbye.
‘That is wonderful, Lucien,’ she managed to reply. ‘I am so happy for you.’
Inside her heart was breaking. She might never see him again.
He released her. ‘I promised I would say goodbye.’
She reached up and touched his face. ‘I appreciate that.’
‘If you need me, though—’
She placed her fingers on his lips. ‘Do not say it. You must have your ship.’
‘But there is the red-haired stranger.’ His brow furrowed. ‘And you need to go to Bristol.’
‘I’ll go to Bristol. Perhaps I’ll hire Cullen to come with me.’ Although she wouldn’t. Because when she went to Bristol she wasn’t coming back.
‘There will be other ships,’ he went on. ‘I will stay if you need me.’
Oh, how she needed him! But even more she needed him to be happy.
‘I will do well enough,’ she said. ‘You must go.’
‘You will marry Stonecroft?’ He spoke the name with scorn.
She skirted around the truth. ‘That is the plan.’
‘But earlier you seemed distressed by the idea,’ he protested. ‘You did not want him to have the banns read.’
She still did not.
‘That was because I want to wait until my memory comes back.’
‘He cares nothing for that.’ He raised his voice.
‘I know.’ She fought to keep her emotions under tight control. ‘He does not understand.’
His expression turned earnest. ‘Lady Rebecca, he cares nothing for you.’
‘And I care nothing for him, but at least I’ll gain a home of my own to manage. Children. Comfort and security. Status—’ She stopped herself. It felt like she’d spoken such words before.
He looked as if she’d struck him across the face.
‘What about the stranger?’ he asked stiffly.
‘I’ll be careful, Lucien. No more running out alone.’ Except when she made her escape.
‘Then this is goodbye,’ he said.
She put her arms around him and hugged him close to her. For the last time. ‘Goodbye, Lucien,’ she murmured.
His muscles were taut, as if he were anticipating an attack, but he relaxed and hugged her back. They remained in that embrace for a long time, reluctant to let go.
But let go they must. Claire released him first.
He stepped back. ‘I have not told Cullen yet. You are first.’
‘I will not say anything.’ Her throat constricted. And her heart was shattering.
‘Cullen!’ he called.
The valet hurried over to them.
‘You can return Lady Rebecca to the house.’
‘I’ll do that, sir,’ Cullen said. ‘Come, m’lady.’
Claire let Cullen lead her to the door, but she turned for one last glimpse of Lucien.
He opened the door for her. ‘Thank you, Cullen,’ she said.
Cullen looked confused and concerned, but he did not ask her what had happened. ‘Tell—tell Ella I’ll see her when I can.’
Would her decisions and Lucien’s separate those two? She prayed not.
‘I will.’ She touched his arm. ‘You are a good man, Cullen.’
Before breaking down completely, she covered her face with Ella’s shawl and entered the house, hurrying by the kitchen and the other rooms.
The housekeeper’s voice trailed after her. ‘You had better not be late for dinner!’
* * *
Lucien waited for Cullen to walk back to him. ‘You are at liberty, Cullen. I am going into town. Tell Sir Richard I’ll miss dinner. I’ll be back late.’
‘I will tell him, sir.’ Cullen’s expression was questioning, but Lucien was in no mood to explain.
He walked off, his pace brisk. He should have told Cullen he was leaving on the morrow. Given the young man some warning. Too late now. He’d speak with him when he returned to Sir Richard’s.
Why was he feeling so desolate? He wanted a ship and he would get one. This was always what should have happened.
He passed several of the people he’d met at the Pump Room and at various entertainments. They all greeted him warmly. Decently.
Perhaps not all aristocrats were like Stonecroft or Lady Rebecca’s brother or his mother’s viscount lover.
The lady who had first recognised him as the Captain rescued from the shipwreck spied him and crossed the street to speak with him.
‘Captain!’ she called. ‘Are you all on your own tonight? Come with us. We are having a few friends for dinner and would love to have you come.’
She was on the arm of her husband, who nodded his agreement. ‘Should have sent an invitation. Have Sir Richard come, as well. Nine o’clock.’
It was kind of them.
‘I cannot tonight,’ he responded. ‘But I am honoured you would invite me.’ He meant that.
‘Another time!’ the lady called as they proceeded on their way.
Lucien wanted to find the most humble tavern in Bath, a place where no one would know him. He planned to drink until this ache inside him disappeared.
Saying goodbye to her, leaving her to marry Stonecroft, had ripped him to pieces.
* * *
Claire had run up the servants’ staircase, but stopped before reaching the second floor, her emotions finally overtaking her. She’d taken deep breaths and fanned her face to keep the tears from flowing. Her insides felt as if they’d broken into sharp shards, the pain was so great.
The pain of saying goodbye to the man you loved.
Because she loved him, she had no other choice. To ask him t
o stay would have been the height of selfishness.
With a fragile sense of control she climbed the rest of the stairs and returned to her bedchamber.
Ella, who had been standing at the window overlooking the garden, swivelled around. ‘I was watching, but I couldn’t see anything. What did he want, m’lady?’
Claire forced a smile. ‘He is leaving tomorrow. He came to say goodbye.’
Ella’s eyes widened. ‘No. He cannot leave.’
Claire put down the shawl and took off Ella’s cap. ‘He must. He is a captain in the navy. He belongs on a ship at sea.’
Ella looked distraught. ‘Did Cullen know that?’
‘No,’ Claire said. ‘The Captain wanted to tell me first.’
Claire presented her back to Ella so that she could untie her laces and also so Ella would not see her blink away tears. Claire turned around and did the same for Ella.
‘I suppose you could dress me for dinner,’ Claire said. Although how she would manage to sit through dinner with Lord Stonecroft and Miss Attwood she did not know.
‘I do not see how you can be remaining so unaffected!’ Ella cried.
Claire met her eyes. ‘I am affected. But I’ve known from the beginning that I would have to say goodbye.’
‘I think you could have made him stay,’ the girl grumbled.
‘Yes. If I did not care for him so much,’ Claire responded.
She held her emotions in check while Ella helped her into a dinner dress and rearranged her hair.
With that complete, she said, ‘You may do as you please, Ella. I will not need you until time for bed. Say ten o’clock?’
Ella pursed her lips before speaking. ‘As you wish, m’lady.’
When the girl left the room, Claire allowed her tears to flow.
That night at dinner Lord Stonecroft never mentioned the red-haired stranger or his conversation with Lucien. Instead he and Miss Attwood discussed the people they had seen that day and what they were planning to do the next day. Claire was glad they paid no attention to her, but she attended to the times they planned to be gone the next day.
‘You are very quiet tonight, Lady Rebecca,’ Miss Attwood said in a kind tone. ‘Are you not feeling well?’
