Bernard Pepperlin

by Cara Hoffman

  Dedication

  For E and Em

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1. A Swim in the Drink

  2. Advice from a Cat

  3. A Forest of Glimmering Buildings

  4. Dragon Fruit

  5. A Dance Underground

  6. Stand Clear of the Closing Doors

  7. PPGP

  8. Bernard Breaks Free

  9. Dinner in a Forest of Stars

  10. A Close Call

  11. An Underground Library

  12. A Song from a Frog

  13. On the Banks of an Underground River

  14. A Feast of Flowers

  15. The Girl with the Long Blond Hair

  16. Free Birds and Trapped Mice

  17. A Magic Teapot

  18. A Brave Escape

  19. Henry and Bernard

  20. Cat and Queen

  21. Ivy’s Plan

  22. A Battle beneath the Bright Lights

  23. From the Air

  24. Bernard of the Flowers

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  1

  A Swim in the Drink

  The Dormouse had been trying hard to stay awake. First he ate a sugar cube. Then he pinched himself. Then he tried climbing on top of the rickety table instead of sitting in his chair. The table was set for a tea party and the cups and plates clattered as he moved past them. Crusts of toast were scattered over the white cloth and in the center stood a blue china teapot decorated with a picture of three bridges and a winding river that let out into the sea.

  He stood on a package of biscuits to look around but couldn’t see her anymore. The curious girl with the long blond hair must have left the party when he’d nodded off. Daytime was hard if you were nocturnal. Especially if it never ended.

  “He’s sleepwalking again,” said the March Hare.

  “Well, get him down,” said the Hatter. “Before he steps in the butter.”

  “I’m awake,” said the Dormouse.

  “You always say that,” said the March Hare. “And it’s rarely true.”

  The Hatter poured a drop of tea onto the Dormouse’s nose and it burned like a little spark. He yelped, his whiskers stiffening, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

  The Dormouse wished he had gone with the girl. She was wearing a blue dress and a white apron, and floating beside her was a large cat. The cat had an elegant striped coat and was grinning from ear to ear, its teeth gleaming in the late-afternoon sun. Or at least that’s what he thought he had seen. There was no sight of them now, and cats rarely floated, so it might have been a dream.

  But dream or not, the Dormouse wanted to run after them. He wanted to walk out of the garden and down the lane, but he knew he couldn’t make it past the front gate. None of them could.

  Because for the Dormouse and the March Hare and the Mad Hatter, time had stopped. They couldn’t walk along a new path or meet a new person or go to a new place.

  The day that time stopped had started out fine. The Hatter was to sing at a party. But his song was so terrible, so loud and boring and long, that Time itself became furious and walked out on them. Forcing them to live forever at half past teatime on Sunday afternoon.

  It wasn’t so bad in the beginning. It was exciting, even.

  Because of the Hatter’s song, the sun was always golden, the roses never died, and the brambles never needed pruning. There were always scones to eat and buttered toast, delicious black tea with cream. And none of them—not the Dormouse, nor the March Hare, nor the Mad Hatter—had grown a day older or an inch fatter since four o’clock, August 14, 1889.

  But very soon things changed. Few creatures ventured out to the garden to visit them at their long table, and without time, dreaming was the only way to leave the garden, or have visitors, or do anything new.

  Worst of all was being with the Mad Hatter. He bragged and stood on his chair in muddy boots. He spoke with his mouth full and guzzled all the tea. And there was no way to avoid him, sitting there at the same table in the same garden on the same day that could never, ever end.

  The Dormouse stood on his toes so he could see out through the gate, but all he could see were the tips of the cat’s ears and the girl’s pale hair shining in the sunlight as she walked away. Then a moment later she took a sip from a tiny bottle and disappeared entirely.

  “Why did she leave?” the Dormouse asked.

  “Well, she was no good at riddles, so she decided to go,” said the March Hare.

  “And songs,” said the Hatter. “She was no good at songs.”

  The Hatter’s skin was a ruddy pink and his pale eyes bulged slightly beneath unruly gray eyebrows. He wore a top hat on his large head, which seemed enormous compared to his skinny body, and he was dressed as though he had just come from performing at a concert. He reached across the table for a slice of bread, used it to wipe a smear of raspberry jam off his face, then ate it.

  “You of all people should not talk about songs,” said the March Hare gravely.

  The March Hare was bucktoothed and easily startled. He spoke quickly, like most hares do, and he was used to making the best of a bad situation. He poured himself another cup of tea, spooning in four heaps of sugar and stirring vigorously.

  The Dormouse gazed out at the winding cobbled paths beyond the trees and flower beds. If only I could be alone, he thought, and take that path. If only night could come and I could see stars in the sky, watch the sunrise, and hear morning birds singing. If only I could swim in a river or hear a clock tick, or meet new people, or talk to other mice.

  “I wish she would come back,” the Dormouse said, thinking he should have tucked himself into the girl’s pocket.

  The Mad Hatter ignored him. He was busy prying his watch apart with a butter knife and slathering butter on the gears. The March Hare sipped his tea. His hands trembled as he set the cup down, and it clattered against the saucer.

  “How much tea have you had?” the Dormouse asked his friend drowsily.

  “Since time stopped?” said the March Hare. “Fifty-six thousand, five hundred and seventy-five cups. Why do you ask?”

  The smell of roses and warm tea and milk made the Dormouse’s head nod forward.

  “He’s falling asleep again!” said the Hatter, pulling a pin from his hat to poke the Dormouse.

  “He can’t help it,” said the March Hare. “The dor in dormouse comes from the French word dormir, which means ‘to sleep.’”

  The Hatter stuck the March Hare with the pin instead.

  The Dormouse heard his friend yelp but he could barely keep his eyes open. His head nodded forward and he sank into a little pool of honey that had gathered at the edge of his saucer.

  “He needs more tea!” said the Hatter, yanking the Dormouse toward the great blue teapot.

  Jerking awake and startled by the commotion, the Dormouse grabbed at whatever was in reach—watch gears, sugar bowls, the edge of the tablecloth. He knocked plates and cups and silverware to the ground.

  “Let him go!” cried the March Hare, grasping the Dormouse’s tail and trying to pull him away from the Hatter. The Dormouse kicked at each of them in turn, fighting with all his might to get free. At last, the Hatter grabbed the Dormouse around the waist. He lifted him high off the table and plunged him, snout first, into the scalding darkness of the steaming blue teapot.

  And then something truly remarkable happened.

  Instead of fighting and thrashing and squirming his way out of the teapot—as he had done before—the Dormouse shut his eyes, pushed his head farther in, and began to swim with all his might. He swam away f
rom the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, away from the garden, away from the table and the never-ending tea party. He plunged down and down, unable to feel the bottom of the teapot beneath his paws. Someone was still yanking his tail, but he swam harder, until they lost their grip. He swam down, down, down, holding his breath. Soon the tea was no longer hot but cold as ice, and his heart was beating fast in his chest.

  He opened his eyes and a vast murky world swirled before him, green and cut through with rippling bands of light. A fish as large as the March Hare swam past, its scaly tail sliding along his side. He kicked, not knowing which way was up or down, pulled by the current and tumbling in the water until he broke through the shining surface, coughing and gasping and miraculously free.

  2

  Advice from a Cat

  The Dormouse stared up at the world around him, shivering and sputtering as he thrashed in the cold water.

  At first, he thought he must be in the middle of the ocean. But no, he could see coastline on either side. He bobbed along on a current, stunned by the new world. A bright sun shone down upon him and the air was crisp.

  This must be a dream, he thought. Above him a vast steel-cabled bridge stretched from one shore to the other. Strange houses lined either side of the shore, enormous and square, rising into the air as tall as a forest. Some looked like they were made entirely from windows, which twinkled orange in the early-morning light.

  He had never in his life had a dream this real. Suddenly he was startled by the deafening blast of a horn and spun around in the water, wide-eyed as a great ship sped past. Dozens of people stood on the deck of the ship, their hair blowing in the breeze as they gazed out over the dark green water.

  The horn’s blast seemed to open his ears and eyes and nose all at once. He no longer smelled roses and tea but the sharp, salty scent of brackish river water and a touch of factory smoke. Voices of large white birds called to one another as they glided on currents of air above his head. If this was a river, he thought, it had to be the biggest river any mouse had ever known.

  The sky above him was a gleaming blue. The river waved and rippled, catching the sun, which shone like silver coins cast out on the water.

  The Dormouse had never felt so awake in his life! So much to see and hear and smell and taste. He paddled quickly with all his paws. Now he could see there was not just one bridge stretching from shore to shore but three! A long silver train clattered over one of the bridges and there were tiny figures walking and running and riding bicycles over it too. But strangest of all were the square boats with wheels that traveled over the land faster than anything he had ever seen. He thought again that he must be dreaming and pinched himself quite hard to make sure he was awake.

  And then he saw it!

  On the far bank of the river, a tall brick building with the word Watchtower glowing on its surface beamed out over the river. Above the word Watchtower was an enormous round clock. The hands on the clock pointed to the two and the eight. It was ten past eight! The Dormouse caught his breath and then let out a tremendous whoop of joy, slapping at the water around him. He spun in a circle, laughing in delight. He felt like he could soar. It was ten past eight in the morning! And he was alone at last, just as he had wished. He was alone and he was swimming and nothing was the same! He had found the place where time had gone!

  The Dormouse began to swim quickly toward the clock and the town of towering houses, but just then another ship whizzed past, sending him bobbing and sailing on a wave to the other shore. He landed with a thunk on the weedy riverbank, soaked to the skin but happy.

  The shore was covered with bottles and bags and long strange pins, driftwood and glass and fishing line. The Dormouse found a patch of soft sand and lay on his back, still reeling from the new sights and smells, staring up into the blue sky, where birds circled and swooped. He watched them fly over the bustling bridges, and then up and up and up, above the glimmering forest of buildings that seemed to stretch on forever. At last. He was safe from the Hatter.

  This was indeed, he thought, a magnificent new world.

  Just as he was beginning to drift off into a reverie, he heard a low, gravelly voice.

  “Hey, pal,” it said. “This ain’t exactly the best place to take a nap.”

  The voice came from a grizzled-looking animal with black-and-white fur, who was staring down at him. The animal had long, drooping whiskers and gleaming yellow eyes. He was holding a small fishing pole and chewed on a thin sliver of white bone, narrow as a toothpick. The animal grinned and the tip of its tail twitched. Suddenly the Dormouse realized it was a cat, a lean, battle-scarred cat. The cat winked and a cold shiver went up the Dormouse’s spine.

  There was a bucket of small freshly caught fish near its feet. Good, the Dormouse thought, this cat musn’t be hungry for mice. At least not right now.

  The Dormouse hopped to his feet and looked the cat in the eye. Speaking in a clear and friendly voice, he said, “I beg your pardon, sir. I’m new here.”

  “That,” said the cat, smiling wryly, “I gathered.” It was then the Dormouse noticed that one of the cat’s ears was smaller than the other, as though it had been snipped with scissors. It looked like it must have been painful. This cat has had his own troubles in the past, the Dormouse thought. And something about that made the cat seem familiar, like they could be friends.

  “You got a name?” the cat asked.

  The Dormouse’s heart swelled, and he thought he might laugh for no reason at all. No one had ever asked him his name before. Not the Hatter, not the March Hare, no one.

  “Yes, I do!” he said, raising himself up to his full height and reaching out to shake hands. “My name is Bernard. Bernard Pepperlin. And I’m very pleased to meet you.”

  3

  A Forest of Glimmering Buildings

  “Pleased to meet you, Bernard,” the cat said, taking the thin white bone from his mouth and showing a row of sharp white teeth. His eyes shone bright in the sun. “My name is Mittens.”

  “Mittens,” the Dormouse said.

  “There an echo in here? Yeah. Mittens. You got a problem with that?”

  “Oh, no, Mittens is a lovely name,” Bernard said.

  “It’ll do,” the cat said. “You’d be surprised how many people got an opinion about it.”

  A breeze blew in off the river and Bernard could feel his fur drying beneath the warm sun. In the distance he heard a sound like a whistle, and somewhere geese were honking. The cat stretched and stuck the bone toothpick back in his mouth. Then he folded up his fishing poles and hid them beneath some jagged rocks at the edge of the beach. Bernard half expected the cat would fade into the air around them and disappear altogether, leaving just his smile behind. Such things were not uncommon back in the garden. But the cat stayed right where he was, regarding Bernard with a look of concern.

  “So, lissen, like I was saying,” said the cat. “You gotta be careful around here. Civilized people like you and me might sleep when the sun comes up. But you gotta understand. This ain’t the place for it. Know what I mean?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t,” said Bernard.

  “I mean,” said Mittens, “you sleep here and the Pork Pie Gang is gonna get you.”

  “I see,” said Bernard. But he didn’t really understand what Mittens was talking about at all. He looked out again at the clock, which now read eight thirty, and smiled. He wasn’t particularly afraid of people who ate pork pies. And it was hard to believe they could be worse than the Hatter. Though he knew pork pie was also the name of a hat, so maybe they were related somehow.

  “What do they look like?” Bernard asked.

  “Oh, you’d know them if you see them!” said Mittens. “They kinda slouch like this.” He sank into his hips and pushed out his belly. “And their fur is like this.” He shook himself out until his fur looked puffy and shaggy. “And their teeth are like this.” He stuck out his lower jaw and flared his nostrils. “And their breath smells like pickles.”

&
nbsp; None of that sounded the least bit dangerous to Bernard. “Thanks for the warning,” he said politely.

  “Oh, and,” Mittens said, “they carry spears and clubs and knives and ukuleles.”

  “Oh!” Bernard said, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. He didn’t know what a ukulele was but it sounded terrifying.

  “Quit shaking,” Mittens said. “You’ll be fine. But you gotta watch out ’cause they’re not real nice and they like to steal stuff.”

  “I don’t have any stuff,” Bernard said.

  “Then they might steal you,” Mittens said. “Lissen, it’s been great meeting you, Bernard, but I gotta get to work.” Then he picked up his bucket of fish and began walking gracefully up the embankment, avoiding the bottles, pins, chunks of wood, and bricks that lay strewn about.

  “Wait,” Bernard called as he scurried up the beach, suddenly frightened. “Please! I don’t know where I am. I have so many questions.”

  Mittens turned around and gazed at Bernard with his big yellow eyes. He said, “Do I look like Wikipedia to you?”

  “Like a wika what? No. I . . . But—” Bernard shrugged. “I—”

  The cat sighed. “All right,” he said gruffly. “C’mon, then, hop up.” Mittens leaned down so that Bernard could sit on his shoulder, and together they headed off, away from the speeding ships and rippling river, strolling beneath the shadow of the marvelous bridges, out into the vast wide world.

  4

  Dragon Fruit

  The shiny boats with wheels whizzed by on the ground. Bernard had thought he heard geese honking but the noise was really coming from these boats.

  “What are those?” Bernard asked.

  “Buddy, you really ain’t from around here, are you?” Mittens said. “Those are cars. The big ones are called trucks. The yellow ones are called taxicabs. You gotta watch out for them because they run you over.”

  Mittens slinked briskly along the riverbank, until they reached a wide wooden road where an enormous ship was docked and the fast cars and taxis pulled up to let people off. Gray birds walked among the people, pecking the ground and searching for crumbs. He could smell food cooking, something like meat or baking bread, strange smells he had never smelled before.