by Cai Jun
“Xiao Peng was an introverted kid. He couldn’t handle that kind of mental abuse. He didn’t dare tell us, and not his parents, either. He paid for it with his life!” Si Wang put away the blade. “Who else?”
Zhang Mingsong took a breath. “He was the first one, and the last one.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Si Wang searched the room for half an hour. Finally, he found a hidden compartment in the dresser. There were several envelopes inside, all labeled chronologically. He opened the first one. Zhang Mingsong groaned. There were photos of a naked teenage boy of no more than seventeen or eighteen. Si Wang could tell that the photos had been taken in the attic. The date on the envelope was September 1992.
“Prosecutor Shen was right: You’re sick, and this is the proof!”
Si Wang opened another envelope. These photos showed a familiar face: Ma Li. They were taken in May 1995. He couldn’t stand to look at the appalling images.
Zhang Mingsong murmured from the floor. “If I hadn’t taken those photos, they would have reported me after they got into their top universities.”
In the envelope with Ma Li’s photographs was a note:
Ma Li:
Last night I hid in the library and saw what happened between you and Mr. Zhang. I can’t believe it. You were forced, right? I don’t want to see you like this. Please stop. If you don’t have the courage, I’ll help you put a stop to it.
Liu Man
June 1, 1995
Si Wang read the note three times before returning his attention to Zhang Mingsong.
“You know who Liu Man is?” Knowing he was done for, Zhang Mingsong confessed to everything. “Ma Li gave the note to me.”
“Then you killed Liu Man?”
Zhang Mingsong chuckled bitterly. “No, she was poisoned. How could I have gotten to her? I have alibis for the murders of both Liu Man and Shen Ming.”
“I get it, you can stop talking.”
“Si Wang, you’re gorgeous.”
Zhang Mingsong was still tied up, but he didn’t take his eyes off his captor, smiling at him in his disturbing way. Si Wang watched him with a fierce hatred that could have burned Zhang Mingsong to a crisp.
“You’re interested in 1995, right? Let me tell you what else I know. I was really jealous of Mr. Shen then. He was younger and had fewer credentials. I went to Tsinghua, which was just as prestigious as his school. But he was going to be a university president’s son-in-law and I was just a high school math teacher.”
“You spread the rumors about him?”
“I made up the story about him dating Liu Man. It was a very believable rumor.” Zhang Mingsong actually smiled with satisfaction. “Lu Zhongyue was the one who told me about Shen Ming being an illegitimate son.”
“Lu Zhongyue?”
“He went to high school with Shen Ming, they were best friends. Xiao Peng was their roommate. I didn’t know why he told me about it at the time. But when he married Shen Ming’s fiancée, I understood.”
“It was him!” Si Wang slammed the wall. He turned to stare at Zhang Mingsong, at his pitiful and despicable face. “Good-bye, Mr. Zhang.”
Si Wang looked over the room once more and made sure to collect all the envelopes filled with the despicable photographs. Si Wang left Zhang Mingsong on the floor; he was still tied up and naked.
Zhang Mingsong was afraid to shout. What if a neighbor or the security guard found him like this? He slowly shimmied across the floor, hoping to find a way to untie himself. Not that getting loose would matter much at this point. Si Wang had taken all the evidence with him. His life would be ruined. He’d no longer be a respected teacher. Those boys would come back and prosecute him. He’d be sentenced to prison and forced to live with real rapists and perverts.
Zhang Mingsong wanted to kill himself.
Suddenly, he realized that Si Wang hadn’t completely closed the door when he left.
CHAPTER 75
At the same time.
Ma Li came out of the bathroom after a shower. Someone was calling from an unfamiliar number. After a few seconds of hesitation, he picked up.
“Ma Li, it’s me—Si Wang.”
“It’s the middle of the night. What is it?”
“I just left Zhang Mingsong’s house.”
Ma Li’s heart sped up, but he made sure to keep calm. “What’s going on?”
“I know the secret.”
It started snowing outside.
“What did you say?”
“I know about the secret between you and Zhang Mingsong. He admitted everything. I saw the photos.”
That silenced him. He felt naked, like he was kneeling in the snow with everybody watching.
Si Wang added coolly, “I also saw the note Liu Man wrote you.”
Si Wang gave an address, and Ma Li hung up.
He took a deep breath and from his high-rise perch he watched the flying snow. He opened his arms to look at the world at night. The evil that had been buried for eighteen years was about to come out.
He really wanted to end it all.
But no, before he did, he had something else he needed to do.
Ma Li got dressed and drove off in his Porsche SUV, roaring along the filthy, slushy streets.
He looked at himself in the rearview mirror; he’d just had his own zodiac year. The last few times he’d gone out to the clubs, he’d made some nice conquests, but there was never a second night with any of the women.
Ma Li was the dream guy for a lot of girls in high school, including Liu Man. She had an unrequited crush on him. She always used the political science class as an excuse to ask Ma Li for help. She also hounded him for math help every evening. The closest encounter they had was in the summer of 1994. She’d invited him to a movie, but he insisted on bringing another roommate. Liu Man had to buy three tickets. She joined the Dead Poets Society just to get close to him, especially at that underground reading in the Demon Girl Zone.
He didn’t hate her. He just felt that his body was dirty and not worthy of a pure girl like her.
The first time Zhang Mingsong had offered to tutor Ma Li was during the second semester of eleventh grade. It happened in the library attic. He finally realized that the mythical attic ghost light was always turned on by Mr. Zhang. When his teacher’s hand touched him, he didn’t know whether to scream or resist.
After it was over, he cried, though he didn’t know what it meant. Zhang Mingsong took some photos of him and comforted him with words, as if they were still in class. Mr. Zhang called it a way to relax after so much studying.
“Ma Li, you’re the most good-looking boy I’ve seen. You should have a bright future and be very successful. As long as you listen to your teacher, study hard, follow school rules, and don’t make trouble, I’ll recommend you for bonus points. You’ll be that much more likely to be admitted to the top schools.”
Zhang Mingsong’s face was especially despicable in the attic light, and Ma Li cowered like a meek lamb in his arms.
Ma Li had one dream since entering Nanming High: Ma Li’s only dream had been to get into Tsinghua University and become the best of the best.
Zhang Mingsong had graduated from Tsinghua, too, and had supposedly added bonus points for several students before. Were they all as good-looking as Ma Li? Within the year, Ma Li’s bonus points were processed. The price was the weekly midnight tutoring sessions with Mr. Zhang.
One night, Liu Man snuck into the library and crawled on top of the attic. She saw their secret through the little window on the roof.
Liu Man wanted to talk to him in private, but Ma Li tried to avoid her. So she finally wrote him a note.
He broke down after reading the note and he gave it to Zhang Mingsong. With no expression, he said to Ma Li, “You know what you have to do.”
Ma Li knew tha
t if anyone discovered his secret he’d lose his chance at getting into Tsinghua.
It only took him a few days to plan the murder. He got the oleander juice from the trees by the sports field, and made it into poison.
On the evening of June 5, 1995, he saw Liu Man talking to Mr. Shen in the self-study room. After she came out of the room, he got close to her in the dark corridor and said, “I’ll meet you tonight at ten in the library attic.”
Nervous, he waited in the attic until Liu Man finally came up like a ghost.
She asked him to stop seeing Mr. Zhang and even said she would go with him to the police. Ma Li walked behind her, put on gloves, and poured the poison down her throat. Liu Man didn’t see it coming, and before she knew what was happening she’d taken a big gulp of the poison and swallowed it. Ma Li ran out of the attic and locked it from the outside. For close to an hour he remained crouched by the door listening to Liu Man pounding, until she stopped.
Before he’d gone to the library he’d lit some incense laced with a sleeping drug so his roommates slept harder than usual, not even noticing that he’d left and returned.
He saw Liu Man on the library roof the next morning at six o’clock.
He couldn’t believe it. Was she still alive?
Mr. Shen crawled on to the roof to inspect the body. Ma Li thought of something else. Wasn’t everyone saying that Mr. Shen and Liu Man had something going on? Plus, they were alone last night. Mr. Shen stayed at the school every night, too. He was the most likely suspect.
That evening, he snuck into Mr. Shen’s room while the teacher was at the cafeteria and planted the bottle of leftover poison on the dresser. No one would suspect Ma Li now.
The police searched the room and arrested Mr. Shen.
Thirteen days later, Mr. Shen died in the Demon Girl Zone.
Ma Li didn’t know who killed Mr. Shen.
After living with the secret for years, Ma Li still thought of himself as the one who’d stabbed Mr. Shen first.
The Porsche stopped at Zhang Mingsong’s building. He charged to the seventh floor and saw the door with its Fraternal Order sign. It was slightly ajar; heat and light came out of the room.
Ma Li pushed open the door and walked gingerly into the bedroom, finding Zhang Mingsong on the floor, tied up and naked.
Zhang Mingsong stared blankly at the man. He’d forgotten Ma Li’s face after all these years, but Ma Li had never forgotten his.
“Mr. Zhang, do you remember me? You helped me get into Tsinghua in 1995.”
“Ma—”
“Yes, I’m Ma Li. My homeroom teacher was Mr. Shen.”
Zhang Mingsong squinted his eyes and nodded. “Why are you here?”
“Someone called me.”
“Si Wang!” Zhang Mingsong shouted the name with disgust. “Did he ask you to save me?”
Ma Li paused and shook his head. “No, he asked me to kill you.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you kill Liu Man? And Mr. Shen, too?”
“You were the one who killed her! You also set up Shen Ming—that bottle of poison?” Zhang Mingsong twisted his pale body on the floor. “I never asked you to kill anyone!”
“All these years, the person I most regret hurting, other than Liu Man, is Mr. Shen.” Ma Li tried not to cry, not wanting to show fear in front of Zhang Mingsong. “When his ghost showed up in front of me, when he possessed that boy, I knew this day would come. It’s been a long wait.”
“What are you talking about? Shen Ming’s ghost? What boy?”
Ma Li smiled like a maniac. “Yes, he finally did it, and it’s amazing! He sent all of you to Hell. All of you who abandoned him, who backstabbed him, who left him to die.”
“You’re talking about Si Wang?”
Ma Li smiled noncommittally and squatted in front of the disgraced teacher. “Mr. Zhang, I’ve had the same dream for years now—killing you.”
Ma Li went to the kitchen, found a sharp knife, and returned to confront Zhang Mingsong. “I really hate myself. If I’d killed you earlier or told people what you did, you couldn’t have ruined other boys’ lives. It’s too late for regret. I thought nothing else mattered as long as I could get into a top school, but I’ve already lost everything.”
The knife’s blade rested on Zhang Mingsong’s throat, but Ma Li’s fingers shook. He couldn’t cut, no matter how he tried. In his dreams, he’d imagined this scene countless times right down to blood spattering everywhere.
After all, poisoning someone to death was different than stabbing someone to death.
“Damn it!” Ma Li dropped the knife and then slapped himself. It had been twenty years. Why had he become weaker?
“Kid, don’t wimp out—kill me!” To his surprise, Zhang Mingsong started begging. “My student Si Wang has all the evidence already, and the whole school will find out tomorrow. Even if the principal and the teachers don’t believe it, someone will talk to my former students. It will only take one of them talking for everything to come out.”
“If I hadn’t already killed one person because of you I would have exposed everything years ago!”
“It’s no big deal being arrested. I’m afraid of the school firing me, just like they fired Mr. Shen. I’d be abandoned by everyone—teachers, students, and parents. I’ve trained the most successful scientists of the last decade. I’m the city’s education star. Everyone respects me, even the stuck-up bureau chief and district chief beg me to tutor their kids.”
Ma Li picked up the knife again. “I get it now, Si Wang got it a long time ago. Your only weakness is your vanity.”
“I’d rather die than lose my reputation and be ridiculed by everyone. Born with nothing, die with nothing. Just kill me. Are you afraid? All pretty boys are as weak as girls.”
Ma Li cut open Zhang Mingsong’s throat.
CHAPTER 76
Spring.
There were many advantages to hiding in this small southern town. The fresh air made him feel better, even if he never recovered his manly ability; he was able to work as an appliance repairman, and he was an expert at fixing those things; and there were no posters with his face on them. In fact, there were no signs of cops anywhere.
He still woke up from nightmares many times a week. He would see that twenty-five-year-old face—a face full of life and passion, a face ready to be someone.
Lu Zhongyue dreamed about being killed by that face.
That face belonged to Shen Ming.
Blood flowed from his eyes, staining his clothes. He lay on the street, being gawked at by everyone, like a dog killed by a car.
Each time he woke from this dream, he rushed to the mirror and stared at his wrinkles, his thinning hair, and his bloodshot eyes.
The first time Lu Zhongyue met Shen Ming, both men were just fifteen. Back in 1985, Nanming High was in the middle of nowhere, forgotten by the world aside from those who worked at the steel factory. Only the teachers’ building and the dorms were new. Nonetheless, getting into the school was highly competitive. Lu Zhongyue, an average student at best, had to use his dad’s connections and a bribe.
Shen Ming arrived at the school wearing a faded white shirt and blue pants. His sneakers were washed so much they were gray. His book bag looked old, like a hand-me-down. But his eyes were special. He always avoided others—but if you made eye contact with him, he always made you a little afraid.
Compared to other kids the same age, his face looked more mature.
They were assigned to the same dorm room. Shen Ming was the poorest out of the six students. He didn’t even have enough spending money to buy a popsicle for himself. But he was a great student with a great instinct for learning and easily understanding lectures. His Chinese and English scores were especially high. Other than the math teacher, Mr. Zhang, all the teachers liked him.
Lu Zhongyue seemed
like an underachiever by comparison. He’d have been held back if his science scores hadn’t been passable.
Yet he was Shen Ming’s best friend.
Shen Ming was usually quiet. He only talked a lot when he was alone with Lu Zhongyue. Shen Ming liked to say, “In a hurry to reincarnate?” which Lu Zhongyue still vividly remembered. Whenever Lu Zhongyue needed help, Shen Ming always reached out. When Shen Ming needed money, Lu Zhongyue would help, too.
In eleventh grade, Lu Zhongyue dragged Shen Ming to play billiards somewhere shady and they ran into a bunch of thugs who wanted to rob them. Shen Ming fought off the guys, but his head was split open pretty badly. It took seven stitches to stop the wound from bleeding. He told the school that the injury was from a fall.
That night, Shen Ming rested his head on Lu Zhongyue’s thighs and looked up at the starry sky. He said he’d never had an easy day in his life. All he remembered was being bullied and how no kids wanted to play with him. To come to school he needed to borrow a pencil from his grandmother’s employer. He didn’t even eat meat until he got to Nanming High.
He said coolly, “I don’t want to live my life this way.”
Shen Ming seemed depressed before the college entrance exams. He really wanted to go to Peking University, but he had no confidence in facing off with the tens of thousands of competitors.
Lu Zhongyue was more worried about just getting into any college.
One night in June, the squatters huts built across from the school went up in flames. Lu Zhongyue watched the commotion alongside other students. He didn’t realize Shen Ming would go into the fire like a madman, or that he would burst out in a ball of flames having saved a young girl.
Lu Zhongyue didn’t know he’d almost killed the same girl not long ago.
Due to his heroic feat, Shen Ming was guaranteed admission to Peking University—he became one of the lucky few.
After the exams, the two said their good-byes on Nanming Road. Shen Ming would go to Beijing while Lu Zhongyue would attend a local college. The two hugged and cried, then Shen Ming sang Li Shutong’s “Good-Bye” song:
