She couldn’t forget what this place, what this club reminded her of.
She also couldn’t forget herself. Her dreams. Her goals. Her career.
None of those things were in this shed, on this farm, in this town.
Or in his bed.
None.
Chapter Seventeen
Cage carried his daughter into the quiet trailer. His lips flattened into a hard line when he noticed Jemma’s bedroom door closed. A dampness, as well as the scent of her soap, hung in the air as he moved into the kitchen and put Dyna in her bouncer while he made her a bottle.
So, Jemma had run inside and showered, washing away everything from him on and in her. His touch, his sweat, his cum.
Now she was avoiding him.
Even though he needed a smoke badly—maybe even a few puffs off a joint—he fed Dyna, changed her diaper and put her down in the used crib he finally could afford last week. It took up a whole corner of his bedroom.
He needed to get serious about finding a permanent residence where he could set up her own room and have an extra room for a house mouse. Because after tonight, he was sure Jemma would find a quick way out the front door.
“’Night, monkey,” he whispered as he kissed his daughter’s forehead, fingers and toes. He stood staring down at Dyna until her eyelids became heavy. She fought falling asleep but, with a full belly, sleep won out.
Thank fuck.
He shucked his shorts and boxer briefs, threw them into a basket in the laundry room and headed into the bathroom, not caring he was completely naked.
He scrubbed off the sweat dried onto his skin, and regretfully washed away the result of Jemma’s orgasm from his dick and balls, toweled his hair dry as best he could and yanked on a clean pair of boxer briefs.
Fuck the jeans or shorts. She’d seen him naked anyhow.
He went back out to the kitchen, pulled a beer from the fridge and downed half the bottle while staring at her closed bedroom door.
Debating what he should do.
She might not realize it but this wasn’t over.
None of this was over.
Not even close.
He’d tolerated her dancing around him after what happened between them in the rain. He’d done his best to be patient.
But his patience was gone. He was done.
He wasn’t going to let her shut him out. Not after what just happened in the shed.
No fucking way.
He hadn’t been with another woman in over six fucking weeks. Not because he didn’t want to, but because the minute he laid eyes on Jemma he knew what—or who— he wanted.
So, he waited.
He closed his eyes as he replayed what just happened in his head.
It was so worth the goddamn wait.
Even though he screwed up, lost his head and fucked her without a wrap.
He didn’t need another fucking kid right now. Dyna was more than he could handle on his own. And, unlike his mother, he was determined to do it right. Adding another unplanned baby would make things more difficult.
Even if it was Jemma’s.
And he was pretty sure, he wouldn’t live to see that baby born, anyway. Judge would make sure of that. The enforcer wouldn’t shake Cage’s hand and congratulate him for knocking up the man’s sister.
Fuck no.
That previous blanket party would be like a toddler’s birthday celebration in comparison to what Judge, and maybe Deacon, would do to him.
If Jemma wanted to be with him, he’d need to approach those two first. It was only courtesy. Especially since she was club property.
She wasn’t some woman not connected to the club. She wasn’t a sweet butt. Hell, she wasn’t even an Amish chick.
She was the daughter of an Original. She was Judge’s goddamn blood.
While brotherhood was important in an MC, blood was, too.
Fucking the sergeant at arms’ sister and getting her pregnant could be looked upon as disrespecting both his brotherhood and her family.
If she wanted it, he’d be willing to run out and get her a morning-after pill, just to be safe. He doubted she wanted to be tied to him permanently and having his kid would do that. But to figure out what their next step should be, she needed to be willing to talk to him.
And, anyway, she had come out to the shed for a reason. That reason got derailed when she slammed him against the wall.
“Fuck,” he muttered, combing his damp hair back from his face with his fingers. He tipped the bottle to his lips and downed the remainder, letting the cool beer slide down his throat into his churning gut.
He waited a few more minutes to let the alcohol seep into his bloodstream, to help keep him calm because he anticipated a battle.
He tossed the bottle into the trashcan, took a breath, focused on her door and strode the eleven feet to her bedroom.
He listened.
Nothing.
“Jem...” He softly rapped on the door with a knuckle.
He waited. No answer.
“Jem. You had somethin’ to tell me. Guessin’ it was important.” It had to be for her to search him out. He only hoped whatever it was would get her to open the door and talk to him.
“Jem, come out and talk to me or I’m kickin’ in the fuckin’ door.” He grimaced at his demand. Jemma wasn’t a woman who’d put up with any kind of bullshit and forcing her to do something was the kind of bullshit she wouldn’t tolerate.
He heard soft footsteps, then the door cracked open. “You can’t afford to fix it.”
Right.
She knew how to stab him right in the fucking chest.
He expected a battle and she was willing to give him one.
He could only see a few inches of her in the gap. She was wearing the oversized T-shirt she slept in. Her long legs were bare. Her brown hair was pulled up in some sort of sloppy knot. Probably from her shower.
When she rid herself of him.
“Can I come in?”
She blinked at him through the three-inch space between the door and the frame. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Had somethin’ to tell me, Jem. Wanna hear it.”
“I—”
“Not from a fuckin’ gap in the door. You don’t want me in, come out and talk to me.”
The door opened wider and he let his eyes roam from her loose hair tucked into a hairband at the top of her head, down her pale face and over that damn T-shirt. One that probably had belonged to another man.
He wanted to fucking burn it.
If she wanted to sleep in a man’s tee, it should be his.
He ground his teeth so he wouldn’t spout that out like an asshole. It wouldn’t help the situation if he acted possessive.
Though, he wanted to. Fuck, he wanted to.
He wanted to throw her over his shoulder and march her right into his bedroom and make her sleep naked next to him. Where he could touch her, smell her, make her his.
It was where she belonged.
She just didn’t realize it yet.
But he was tired of being patient. Especially now that he’d had her. All that did was cement the idea that they belonged together.
She fit him.
And not just during sex.
She waited until he took a couple steps back before stepping out and closing the bedroom door behind her.
Why? He had no idea. He normally stayed out of her room. He let her have her own space, even as small as it was.
She moved to the center of the living room and turned to face him. The living room and kitchen were always a neutral space for them.
The worn cotton of that fucking T-shirt pinched at her hips when she planted her hands there and also emphasized she wore no bra.
No surprise, her guard was up.
Which raised his.
“Got somethin’ to say but you had somethin’ to tell me when you came out to the shed. Wanna hear that first.”
“Dyna okay?”
“She’s sleepin
’.”
Jemma nodded. “It’s about her.”
His brow dropped low. “What about her?” Did he miss something? Did he suck at being a dad so much that he’d missed something wrong with his baby girl?
“I was offered an interview and I accepted it. I’ll need you to find someone to watch Dyna on Thursday. Or you need to stay home. I’m not sure how long I’ll be, but I do know I’ll be gone for hours.”
“Hours,” he echoed, plugging a hand on his own hip, letting his mind flip through his mental Rolodex of people who might be able to watch Dyna.
“Yes. It’s in Williamsport. It’s a good job and I don’t want to miss this opportunity.”
“Saylor can probably watch her for a few hours. Talk to Judge.”
She shook her head. “You talk to Judge. She’s your daughter and your responsibility and I told you to prepare for when I leave, Chris.” Her voice rose higher as she talked. “I haven’t seen you doing that. You act like I’m going to stay. I’m not. I told you I wasn’t and that hasn’t changed.”
“Jesus fuck, Jemma,” he muttered, his blood pressure surging.
“Yeah. Jesus fuck, Chris. You knew this was only temporary until I got a decent job offer. I’ve been clear about that from the beginning. If I get this offer, I’m taking it. If another good offer comes in beforehand, I’m taking that. The sooner, the better. I need to work, pay my bills and get out of this town.”
Get away from you, he heard in his head.
She flapped a hand in the direction of the shed. “What happened out there hasn’t changed anything and won’t.”
“Jem, about that...”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Fucking goddamn it. “Don’t gotta except for that one thing. Don’t need to fuck up again, Jem. Can’t afford it.”
Her face became unreadable. “While we fucked up, we didn’t fuck up.”
His eyebrows fused together. “What does that fuckin’ mean?”
She sucked in a breath through her nostrils, raised her chin and her eyes held his. “I’ve been on birth control since I was a teen, Chris. Unlike an Amish woman, I’ve been sexually active for a long time now.”
He grimaced and swiped a hand down his bearded cheek.
“Pregnancy isn’t my worry.”
Maybe it wasn’t hers, but it was his main one. If she worried about catching something from him... “Always wear a wrap.”
“Yeah, well, you see how that worked out for you.”
He ground his teeth. “Jem, haven’t had sex with anyone since...”
“Since?”
Did she hold her breath after asking that? Would it bother her if he had sex with someone else since Jemma had come into his life? That gave him a sliver of hope. “Dyna showed up.”
“No one?” Her mask slipped in her surprise.
Fuck yeah.
Her response fueled his fire to get her to admit the connection they had. He needed to prove to her he only had one woman in his sights, one woman he wanted, and it was her. And it had nothing to do with Dyna. “No one, Jem. Just you, just now. That’s it.”
“Still doesn’t mean...”
“Yeah. Got that. Never had an STD.”
“Me neither and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Jem...”
She lifted a hand. “It was my fault, not yours. I take full responsibility. I lost my head—”
He grinned which abruptly halted her spiel. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help it. She admitted he’d made her lose her head.
Just like she made him do.
She needed to stop fighting what was between them and see they fit. More than just with sex. She knew the lifestyle, even though she hated it. But she only needed to open her eyes, and her mind, and see the current Blood Fury was nothing like the Originals.
Trip, and everyone else, was working hard to keep it that way.
If she let him, Cage would do what he could to help her get past what happened to her when she was a young child. He understood it because he lived it, too.
Any offspring from the Originals had to get over their rough beginnings and see the current Blood Fury for what it was.
Their future and their family.
She needed to see it was a good thing Trip had rebuilt. He had learned from Buzz’s mistakes and was doing everything he could to not repeat them. The prez wanted a solid brotherhood and not one with so many fucking holes punched through it, it looked like Swiss cheese.
But time would show her that, not his words. Right now he needed to concentrate on convincing her to accept him first. Then he could work on her accepting the Fury. Because the fuck if he was giving up his brotherhood. Not unless he was forced to by being stripped of his colors and he would do everything in his power not to have that happen.
He took two steps toward her, close enough to detect the scent of her shampoo but not enough to cause her to step back. Though, her spine straightened just slightly.
Right now he needed to lay shit out and be crystal fucking clear about what he wanted.
Which was her.
“You do shit to me, Jem, no other woman has ever done before. And it’s got nothin’ to do with sex. Tonight proved it. I fuckin’ waited. Six fuckin’ weeks I’ve been with no one but you. I knew you wanted me as much as I wanted you. Could see it. But I waited anyway. Wasn’t gonna push it. Didn’t wanna be blamed for pushin’ you. You took the first step tonight. It was hot as fuck. Being inside you was like nothin’ else I’ve ever experienced. Waited for you to be ready. Never been so fuckin’ patient in my whole goddamn life.”
“What happened doesn’t change things, Chris.”
The fuck it didn’t. As he had been speaking, a flush ran from the neckline of her T-shirt up into her cheeks. If she needed more patience from him, he’d give it to her, but that didn’t mean backing off.
He didn’t have a lot of time before she ran out the door and left him and Dyna behind.
“Don’t gotta change shit. We live under the same roof, share the same space, what’s the difference if we share the same bed?”
“That’s a huge difference, Chris. One is a roommate, the other...” Her words ended in a soft hiss.
“Nobody gotta know you’re in my bed. Ain’t gonna say shit to anyone. But I want you there, Jemma. You wanna deny what’s between us, but deep down you can’t. You think I wanna chase someone who’s got one foot out the fuckin’ door? You think I wanna beg the one person who my daughter thinks of as her momma?”
She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “This isn’t about Dyna.”
“No, it ain’t about Dyna, Jem. It’s about me and you. What you do to me. What I do to you. Simple as that.”
“It isn’t simple.”
“Could be. You’re refusin’ to see it.”
“I can’t get invested here, Chris. I can’t. Not in Manning Grove, not with this club, not with you. I told you what coming home does to me. It’ll be hard enough when I leave Dyna behind.”
“Love my girl.”
Her green eyes locked with his and the agony he saw in them shocked him to the core.
“Yes.”
“Baby, love that you love my girl as your own. Love that you love her despite that she came from me.”
If he was ripping himself open, he wasn’t doing it half-assed. Just like he didn’t want to raise his baby half-assed.
Both his girls deserved better than that.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Chris,” she whispered. “I barely knew you when we were Fury kids, but I know you now. I didn’t know you in the time between. What you did, how you acted. But I also know what shaped you. I know what shaped me. So I’m sure, however you were, whatever you did, our childhood had something to do with it. The Originals affected us all. Some more than others.”
“You can move past it, Jem. We all gotta move past it. Every fuckin’ one of us. Trip, Sig, Judge, Rook, Stella, me... You.”
“I wish I could, but
it’s not that easy. Anyway, it’s more than that.”
“Right. Can’t offer you much. Don’t got a home, no money, don’t got shit besides this brotherhood, my job and my baby girl. But I want you. Even if it’s just ‘til you leave. Just give me that, Jem. However long that is. And I’ll give you what I got to give. Which is me. That’s it. That’s what I can give you for as long as you want me. When you leave, ain’t gonna stop you. I know you want better for your life than what I can offer you. Know it. Feel it. Want whatever’s best for you. Just like I want whatever’s best for Dyna. You saved my ass, Jem. Wish I had a way to repay you for that.”
Never in his goddamn life had he ever thought he’d want a woman so much it fucking hurt. But in the last six fucking weeks, he’d watched Jemma. How she sacrificed to help him and Dyna by suffering with nightmares simply spurred from coming home, how she could’ve left at any time, but stayed anyway.
How she loved his baby girl like her own.
He was unlucky she would leave as soon as she could, but he was lucky that they had her for the time she’d given them.
She’d helped him become a better father when he was floundering. Calmed him when he was panicked. Patiently taught him when he had no clue what the fuck he was doing.
When he was afraid he’d hurt Dyna, she assured him his daughter wasn’t breakable. When he did something wrong, Jemma showed him how to do it right. When he was overwhelmed, she stepped in.
He could now do it without her.
But he didn’t want to.
In those six weeks, the three of them had become a little family. She wanted to rip that family apart.
He would do his best to keep that from happening. “Jem...”
She hadn’t said a word and that worried him.
He dropped his head, stared at his bare feet and pinned his clenched fists to his side. Her hand crossed his line of vision and planted on his chest. Solid and warm.
“Even if you could repay me, I’d never accept it.”
He covered her hand with his own and lifted his head.
“I came home for Judge. I fell in love with Dyna. And now...”
He waited, his heart thundering like a bass drum beneath her palm.
Blood & Bones: Cage (Blood Fury MC Book 5) Page 24
