I struggled, but he had the advantage of weight and strength.
He grinned.
"Like that, do you?" I said. "Well, there's one flaw in your plan. Unless you can get me into that change-room by force, the shower is out."
"No need to go at all, is there?" He glanced at the door, then pushed my shirt up over my stomach and tweaked my waistband. "Haven't seen anyone in almost an hour. And I'm nothing if not quick."
"You wouldn't dare."
A teeth-flashing smile. "Is that a challenge, darling?"
"No, it absolutely is not." I squirmed, but even with just one hand holding my wrists, he had me pinned better than I'd had him with two.
He pushed my T-shirt up my rib cage, stopping just below my breasts, then sliding his hand under, tweaking my nipples hard enough to make me gasp... and momentarily forget that I was opposed to this idea.
When I remembered to protest, he cut me off with a kiss. We broke off fast when footsteps sounded in the hall. They headed the other way.
"Going to the business center," Clay murmured. "No one's coming in here, so there's no reason I can't just..." He slid my sweatpants down over one hip and hooked a finger through my panties, giving a tug.
I tried to squirm away. "Don't you dare."
"Would you prefer the change-room? It's still an option." He nudged my knees apart. "Just say the word. You forfeit and we can take this someplace more--"
I leapt up. He hung on to my hands... until they swung up and clipped him in the chin. I scrambled out from under him. He lunged for my legs, but I backed out of his reach and shot to my feet. As he rose, I kicked his legs out. He went down, landing hard on the mat. I straddled his chest.
He sighed.
I victory punched the air. He shot up, grabbing me under the arms and tickling me. I squealed and caught his hands, and was about to pin him when I noticed a figure standing in the doorway.
It was Joey, watching us.
"You wanted to talk to me?" he said.
I scrambled off Clay, and stood, tugging my shirt down. It already covered me just fine, but I tugged it anyway, cheeks heating.
"Yeah, we did," Clay said. "You had breakfast?"
"Yes, but I suppose you haven't." A smile cracked Joey's composure. "And if I remember correctly, we'd better attend to that first or I can't expect to get a rational sentence from you."
"You two go on," I said. "I'll shower and catch up."
WHEN MY BLOOD stopped pounding, I switched the cold shower to warm, tilted my face up into the water and tried not to think of how much more fun this shower would have been if Joey hadn't shown up. I could still feel adrenaline slamming through my veins, the lingering euphoria better than any chemical buzz. And it was more than adrenaline. It was confidence, my anxiety over facing Travis Tesler again fading.
Given my background, my dominance play with Clay might seem odd. Disturbing even. One day I'm reduced to gibbering terror by a mutt pinning me to the ground and threatening rape. Less than twenty-four hours later, I'm letting my partner pin me, threatening public sex.
I'm sure I don't want to hear what a psychiatrist would say about that. But for me, it works. It makes sense. With Clay, it was different. When we'd first met, he'd taken his time. Friends first, then, very slowly, shifting to lovers. With Clay, I was always in control. I still am.
Dominance play is about control. For some, the thrill is giving it up. For me, it's about taking it back. I don't need "release words" with Clay. If I so much as tense, he stops. I choose to take the lead or I choose to give it to him. My choice. Always. That has healed me more than years of therapy ever could.
As strong as I felt right now, I knew my gut would seize with terror when I saw Tesler again. But for now I felt ready to handle it.
NOAH
CLAY AND JOEY were in the hotel restaurant, deep in conversation when I entered. Or, at least, Clay was deep in conversation, explaining something, his hands waving, a slice of toast in one, crumbs flying. I headed for the buffet, but a large table of businesspeople beat me to it. Clay caught my eye and waved me over. As I approached, he kicked out a chair for me, then moved his plate between us.
"Clayton sharing his food?" Joey said with a strained smile. "Must be love."
"No, he's just trying to make a good impression. Normally, he'd be stealing mine."
Clay started sliding the plate back his way, but I caught it and held it between us.
"Clay was just telling me about Nick," Joey said. "He said he's doing graphic design for his dad's company. I'm still trying to figure out if he's joking."
"He's not. Nick seems to like it. He's got a good eye for design."
"Now, that I can see. I remember how long it took the guy to buy a shirt. I bet there are a lot of nice-looking young women working in graphic design, too."
We laughed. Five years ago, I'd have guessed that was indeed the reason for Nick's interest. But lately he'd been making changes in his life--finding a job he liked, actually showing up for it and taking a more active role in the family business.
Around the time I got pregnant, Nick had started getting restless. He'd even briefly flirted with the idea of having a child of his own, which lasted until the twins arrived and he decided babies were really a bigger plunge into the sea of domesticity than he cared to take.
Thinking of Nick reminded me that he'd left a message on my cell last night. Nothing urgent. Just touching base, looking for an update, and wanting to talk about Reese.
Clay and Joey chatted for a while longer, catching up. It wasn't the most comfortable conversation, but Joey was obviously making an effort, so Clay answered all his questions.
As the line for the buffet vanished, I went up for a plate. I came back to a silent table, as if the moment Clay finished updates, they'd hit a brick wall, the amiable mood dispersing as they realized how little they now had in common.
"So you got my message," I said as I sat.
Joey nodded and picked at his omelet, moving the mushroom pieces aside. I glanced at Clay. He shrugged and resumed eating.
Finally Joey said, "Noah isn't my brother. He's my son."
I tried not to look surprised. I shouldn't have been. It made more sense for Noah to be Joey's youthful indiscretion than Dennis's middle-aged one. It was hard, though, to imagine Joey ever being youthful enough to be indiscreet.
"Did you know about him?" I said when he didn't go on.
Joey shook his head. "I was with his mother for a few months, but I was very good about using condoms. Or so I thought. His mother... liked to drink. I'd join her sometimes, so I suppose it's not surprising that I might have forgotten a time or two. I ended the relationship because she wouldn't admit she had a problem, so nor am I surprised that she kept Noah from me. Dad was the one who found him, in a mall of all places. Noah was going to a movie. He was fifteen and starting to smell like a werewolf coming into his first Change. Dad followed him and we figured out who he was. Noah wasn't with his mom anymore. She'd sobered up and married a born-again Christian who didn't think 'love thy neighbor' extended to 'love thy new wife's son.'"
"So where was Noah living?"
Joey didn't answer for a moment, then said, "Noah has problems."
"Fetal alcohol syndrome?"
"More like FAE--fetal alcohol effects." A wan smile. "Yes, I've done my research. With Noah, it's mild symptoms. He's small for his age. He has some learning disabilities, some behavioral issues. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe just his home situation and the whole--" A glance around at surrounding tables. "The werewolf instincts kicking in and his confusion over that. When we found him, he was in a juvenile detention center. He'd been living in foster care and got mixed up with the wrong crowd, robbing gas stations. The day Dad saw him at the mall was a field trip. He still had a year left to serve, then another year in a halfway house."
Joey rubbed his hand over his mouth. "That was a tough time. Noah was coming into his powers, hormones going nuts, with no idea what was happen
ing to him. He'd acted out a couple of times in the center. Got into some fights. Given his strength--and the fact that he had no history of violent behavior--they presumed drugs, and he had to go through testing... It was hell."
"Were you able to speak to him?"
"Eventually. His mom admitted I was his father--I think by that point she was happy to dump him onto someone else. We eased him into the truth, which, as it turned out, wasn't necessary. He jumped at the explanation. He was thrilled, even. Not a split second of disbelief."
"At that age, I suppose hearing 'you're a werewolf' is much cooler than 'you're having a mental breakdown,'" I said.
Joey nodded. "That was exactly it and I... I didn't understand, which is where the problem began." He paused while the server refilled our coffees. "As I've said, my dad and I had increasingly different views on the best way to handle our condition. It wasn't always like that. Yes, for years we'd been on opposite sides of the center, and not by much. As I got older, though, I started chafing more against the restrictions. I lead a normal life--career, friends, girlfriends. Having to worry about Changing while on business trips or hiding my strength from my buddies in racquetball or being gentle with my lovers so I don't bite..." His gaze slid my way and he colored, as if he'd just jammed his foot in his mouth.
"If you're trying to live as human, there are a lot more disadvantages than advantages to being a werewolf," I said. "I've tried it myself."
"Then you know what I mean. My father always embraced that side of himself more. He's not as involved with the world as I am. Self-employed, poker buddies rather than friends, short-term girlfriends only... As he got older, he started getting into the wolf part even more. He bought the cabin, took up hiking, joined a couple of wilderness appreciation groups, got interested in our origins and mythology. My dad is... was, I guess, I should say..."
Joey's eyes unfocused, grief etching furrows around his mouth. Then he cleared his throat and straightened. "We were different. But it wasn't a big issue until Noah came along."
"Which to teach him," I said. "Overcoming it versus embracing it."
"As his father, I thought it seemed natural to teach him my way. Dad wasn't happy with that, but he couldn't argue with my logic. If Noah was going to straighten out--finish high school, maybe go to college--then 'normal' was obviously the way to go. Only Noah..."
He trailed off, his gaze going distant again.
"He'd just found out he was something special," I said, "and he wasn't interested in being normal."
"I can tell you're a mother. You understand kids a lot better than I do."
"No, but I understand the point of view." I hooked a thumb at Clay.
He attempted a smile. "I guess so. And if I'd been Clay, I'm sure I would have understood Noah's perspective better. I only wanted to make things easier for him. Instead I drove him to my father, which didn't help matters."
Joey sipped his coffee, gaze down. "I took it personally. My son was picking my father, and my father was happy to have him around. I felt left out. Silly for a man my age, but that's how it was. Everyone wants to belong, and that goes for Noah more than most. He wanted a place to belong. Dad gave him that. I should have backed off. Instead, I sulked like a teenager. In the last few months, I've hardly seen either of them."
"Was Noah living with Dennis?"
Joey shook his head. "He was going to, after he got his full release. There was no way his parole officer was turning a troubled seventeen-year-old kid over to a grandfather who'd just stepped into the picture."
Seventeen... I hadn't pictured him so young, but given everything that Joey had said, that made sense.
Joey continued. "For the last six months, Noah has been spending weekends with Dad. He'd just had his first Change, and Dad was trying to help him through it." He glanced at Clay. "He used all those lessons Jeremy did with Nick and me when we were that age. The rest of the time, Noah was in a group home. On Monday, Noah's parole officer phoned me and said he hadn't shown up Sunday night. I tried calling Dad. He didn't answer, which I figured meant he was still at the cabin. When Monday night came, I tried to drive up there but my car wouldn't make it. I wasn't worried yet. Just angry. I figured Dad had taken Noah into the backcountry and hadn't bothered coming out on time."
"Did he do that?"
Joey shook his head, frown lines deepening. "Dad was never irresponsible. I was just... In the mindset I was in, I wanted him to be irresponsible--proof I should be taking care of Noah. When Tuesday came, I started worrying. Then I got the call. From Tesler. They had Noah and started making demands."
"What did they say about your dad?" Clay asked.
"They said they had him, too. They only let me talk to Noah but... I believed them about Dad. I wanted to believe them. Then you showed up, made it to the cabin and found him."
There was more to this story, but Joey was clearly exhausted. We could wait for the rest. There was one possibility, though, that had to be raised. A difficult one. I floundered around, trying to figure out how to word it.
Then Clay jumped in and asked it for me. "Any chance Noah hooked up with these mutts himself?"
"What?" Joey's eyes went as round as his lenses.
I hurried to interject. "Not that he'd hurt Dennis himself or had any idea they were going to, but you said Noah was desperate to belong, and mutts like this will prey on the pack instinct."
"And if he's already a crim--" Clay began.
I stomped his toes. "If he's already been lured into trouble with the law, then the upheaval of the Change could lower his defenses against returning to that life, however much he may want to get out of it."
Joey's jaw worked.
I continued. "I'm not saying that's what happened or that it's even likely. But if it was another teenager in his situation, that's the first thing we'd bring up."
"You're right," he said after a moment. "But the answer is no. If Noah was still with me, and Dad wasn't in the picture, then yes, I could see it. He would have been looking for that connection, that reaffirmation, and if those mutts showed up, they might have found a very willing recruit. But Noah is crazy about my dad. More important, he was happy with him. As angry as he is, what he really wants is family, security." He looked down at his hands. "It's so easy to see now, but at the time... I screwed up. If I'd supported his choices, I might have been there last weekend."
"And you would have been killed like your dad," Clay said. "These guys are ruthless. The only way to fight them is with someone who's just as ruthless."
"You."
"Us," I said. "Ruthless might not be the first word anyone uses to describe me, but I have the experience and I can fight. So can we help you now?"
He paused. A long pause, gaze on his folded hands. "I'm still not convinced this is the right way to go about it, but I don't see that I have much choice. Yes, I need your help."
FOCUS
AND SO, OVER breakfast, the goal of our mission to Alaska shifted yet again. We came here to rescue a young werewolf from a pair of killer mutts. We stayed to investigate another killer. And now, while those deaths were still an issue, our focus had come full circle to rescuing another young werewolf from another pair of killer mutts.
And this one was... I hesitate to say "family," because it sounds so hokey. I suppose it's human nature to value personal ties, however tenuous, over anonymity. But this was about wolf nature. To me, rescuing Noah was more important than making sure more humans didn't die. I suppose that's a necessary instinct for a future Alpha to have, but it didn't keep me from feeling guilty.
WE SPENT THE rest of the morning in our room, where we could talk more openly with Joey and piece together our stories. He'd already taken us up to the point of getting the call from Tesler, who claimed to have both Noah and Dennis. That was the only time Joey had spoken to his son since his capture, and it had been a brief exchange, one Joey could recite verbatim.
Joey: Are you okay?
Noah: Yeah.
Joey: Di
d they hurt you? Are you--?
Noah: I'm okay, all right?
Joey: I'm going to get you out of there.
Noah: Think so?
Joey: I will. I promise. How's Dennis? Is he okay?
Joey wasn't sure whether Noah tried to say something or just made a noise, but before he could ask again, Tesler took the phone back.
Then Tesler laid out his demands. He didn't want much--just everything Joey had. He'd start by accepting fifty thousand dollars as a gesture of goodwill. Then Joey would use his local reputation and contacts to fix some unspecified "problems." Once that was cleared up, Joey would take his father and son and leave Alaska... after signing over his car, his condo and his dad's cabin to the Teslers.
Joey had scraped together a down payment on the fifty grand. The rest he'd get from liquidating his retirement funds. He was supposed to meet Tesler yesterday morning. That's when we'd intercepted him at work. His meeting with the Teslers hadn't been until lunch, but Joey feared they were watching, so he'd brushed Clay off. His instinct had been right and the gang had then followed our trail back to our hotel and had their fun there while we were out.
After our encounter with the Teslers, and Dan's presumed death, Eddie had called Joey back with a new demand. Get rid of us or all negotiations were off.
WE GOT EVERYTHING we could from Joey. It took a while, and by the end of it, he was exhausted by the constant questions. He took a rest while Clay headed outside to scout for any sign of the mutts, and I went to a quiet place downstairs and made phone calls.
I started with Jeremy, updating him and getting his opinion. Then I spoke to the kids. Their patience with their gallivanting parents was again growing thin. They wanted us home. And, talking to them, I wanted to be home. So I kept it short with promises that both Daddy and I would call again before bed and talk to them more.
Next I called Nick. Again, I began with an update.
"Sounds like you two might need some help," he said when I finished.
"We're considering it," I said. "Jaime is staying longer at Stone-haven, in case Jeremy needs to take off, and Jeremy's told Karl to be ready to fly. For now, though, just keep your schedule clear. We don't want to spook these guys by having the whole Pack descend on Anchorage."
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