by Kylie Walker
“I found him...” Abigail managed to choke out, but barely. “In bed with another woman.”
Meghan gasped as if she were truly appalled for Abigail. Abigail could feel the genuine empathy seeping from Meghan. She needed to use her beloved friend as a crutch to lean on when she couldn’t stand up on her own two feet.
“Who was it?” Meghan asked and then reeled back.
She groaned as the memory continued to dance through her mind. It was the most unappealing moment of her life.
“Was it someone you knew?” Meghan asked in a hushed voice as if she were dreading the answer.
“No.” Abigail squeezed her eyes shut and vigorously shook her head as if she were trying to remove the image from her head. “I didn’t know her.”
“That asshole.” Meghan defiantly crossed her arms. “I can’t believe he would do something like that to you, especially after my run-in with him, and the fact that he gave you a key to use at your leisure.”
“That’s what I can’t wrap my head around,” Abigail mentioned and twisted her features in befuddlement. “Why would he give me a key if he was going to be sleeping around on a routine basis?”
“Hmm...” Meghan pondered. “It doesn’t seem to add up.
“No,” Abigail agreed. “It certainly doesn’t add up at all.”
“Do you think that he might have just gotten drunk and the girl followed him home or something? Do you think that maybe he didn’t necessarily want this girl in his bed and that you just happened to walk in at the wrong time?”
Abigail glanced at the ceiling. In a perfect world, of course, she would love for that to be the reality of the situation, but it almost seemed too appealing to be true. She tried to remember Lucas face before she ran away. Still, she couldn’t figure out how anything in that scenario would be plausible, or forgivable. Accidents of convenience for the same man in less than a week? Hardly.
“He did seem shocked,” Abigail remembered.
“Shocked as in, he didn’t want to be caught in the act?” Meghan asked.
“I’m not really sure.” Abigail propped her elbow up against the surface of the counter. The chardonnay was working wonders on helping her to mellow out. “He kept calling out to me as I tried to run out of his apartment.”
“What was he saying?” Meghan asked.
“He kept saying...’it’s not what you think.’” Abigail met Meghan’s gaze. “He said it over and over.”
Meghan wrinkled her forehead as if she was trying to solve a long division problem. “It's not what you think?”
“Yeah...”
“What could he have possibly meant by that?” Meghan asked.
Abigail shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. I can’t imagine what he thought I would assume, walking into his closed bedroom door to find a naked woman there in bed with him.”
“Was he naked?”
“No.” Abigail suddenly remembered. “He had clothes on.”
“Do you think that he had sex with this mystery woman?”
Abigail wrinkled her nose. “I don’t even want to picture something that disgusting.”
“Was she ugly?” Meghan chuckled, aiming to skirt the topic in a breezy tone once again. Abigail respected her friend’s elegance and grace.
“I don’t want to say that anyone was ugly...” Abigail trailed off.
“You are too nice,” Meghan groaned. “You just found this woman in bed with the guy you are also sleeping with.”
“Was sleeping with,” Abigail corrected.
Meghan rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She waved her wrist through the air. “Well, what did she look like?”
Abigail took a deep breath because she knew she was getting ready to drop a bombshell on her friend. “She had skanky hair and yellowing teeth. She looked like she hadn’t showered in a number of days.”
Meghan made a sour face. “Ew. Why would Lucas want to bring home a girl like that?”
Abigail paced the galley kitchen. “That’s what I don’t understand. There is something missing. Some information that I don’t know about because I didn’t let him explain. Anyway, it gets worse.”
“Oh dear...” Meghan trailed off with a sigh and winced as if bracing herself for epically terrible news.
“There were heroin needles on the table beside the bed. I could tell they had been used. She also had track marks all over her body as if she had run out of places to inject.”
The color drained from Meghan’s face, and her mouth gaped open so far that it practically unhinged. “Was Lucas shooting up with her?”
“I don’t know,” Abigail said. “I have never noticed any marks on him.”
“That doesn’t mean he hasn’t done it though,” Meghan said.
“That’s true,” Abigail nodded. She was just hoping for the best.
“Oh Ab...” Meghan said and enveloped her arms around Abigail’s neck. She squeezed her fondly. “I’m so sorry.” She rubbed her back. “I am glad you told me the truth about what happened.”
“Yeah,” Abigail nodded, suddenly feeling as if she had crashed into a wall. “I just don’t understand how I could have misread Lucas so poorly in the first place.”
Meghan gave her a tender smile. “That’s the thing about falling hard for a person you are really into. If it happens to fast, you have your blinders on. You won’t see the darkness before the light is switched back on.”
“You’re so right,” Abigail smiled.
“I wish I wasn’t,” Meghan said with a humble expression. “I’m just a concerned friend with a shoulder to cry on.”
Abigail chuckled and patted Meghan’s shoulder. “It’s a soft place to land.”
Meghan squeezed Abigail’s hand. “You will be okay.”
“I know,” Abigail said. “I’ve been through worse. That’s how I can trust myself to get through this.”
She didn’t know if it was the wine or the exhaustion of the encounter with Lucas, but suddenly she was in desperate need of sleep. Maybe the morning would bring about a new perspective.
If she even slept at all.
Chapter Sixteen
LUCAS STARED DOWN AT a dope-up Christy, still lying sprawled out on his bed. He stood up and paced the room. She had been passed out for several minutes now. He knew he had to get her out of his apartment, but how? Anger and frustration coursed through him so hotly, he had to keep himself from smashing his apartment to pieces.
He ran a hand through his hair as if that would somehow get the wheels moving in his mind on a plan to get rid of her.
“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, and then tossed a narrow glance back at Christy who was beginning to snore. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Lucas picked up his phone from his nightstand and frantically dialed Abigail’s number. It cut straight to voice mail. She had turned her phone off, most definitely so that she wouldn’t have to listen to him or deal with him at all.
He had seen the look in her eyes: horror, disbelief, and shock. He had devastated her, and he hadn’t even gotten a chance to explain himself. He tried her number one more time, with the same result. It cut straight to her cheery voice mail message.
“Abigail,” Lucas ground out. “The girl in my bed was not invited. She’s a heroin addict. I woke up, and she had broken into my house. Damn it; call me.”
He hung up the phone and tossed it onto his bed then scrubbed his hands over his face with a groan. “Fuck me!”
He walked to his master bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Lucas stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eye looked hollow. Beads of water dripped down the stubble on his chin. His hair was messy; hollows had formed beneath his eyes. He was hard on himself. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a number of days. The shows over the course of the last couple of weeks, mixed with the studio time and having to deal with Christy’s bullshit was taking a toll on him.
He distractedly wandered over to the bed and dialed Abigail’s number again to see if she had turned it on, but
she hadn’t. It still cut straight to voice mail. Feeling frustrated, he jogged over to his bedroom windows and peeled open all of the blinds.
Fresh morning sunlight spilled into the room instantly. He hoped that the harshness of the instant brightness would cause Christy to wake up, but she didn’t so much as move. She continued to lay there, face down on his Egyptian silk pillows and sheets, snoring and pressing her filthy body to the mattress.
He cringed. He might as well burn his bed now. How the fuck had she snuck back into his house in the middle of the night while he was asleep? How had he not intercepted her stunt and threw her out, again, on her ass with a police escort to make sure she stayed gone?
He thought about calling the police now, but he didn’t want the publicity. Plus, there were heroin needles in his bedroom. He couldn’t flush them. It was obvious Christy was high as fuck, which would only loop back around to him somehow. He couldn’t afford that kind of risk or bad press.
People wouldn’t look at him the same if it leaked that there was heroin in his apartment. He was clean now, and he wanted to stay sober. He had made a promise to himself and his friends and family that he wouldn’t go back to that lifestyle. He wasn’t going to use anymore, even when the needles were staring him in the face, and he didn’t want anyone thinking otherwise.
He didn’t want his fingerprints on them. He wanted Christy to pick them up and get the hell out of his house as quickly as possible.
Lucas debated calling his bandmates and obtaining their help on removing Christy from his home, but in the end, he knew that he couldn’t involve other people. This was his mess. This was his problem to deal with. He had been on his own almost his entire life. He didn’t need anyone else to carry him through a difficult situation. He knew that he would be a recovering addict for the rest of his life, but he had obligations now. He had responsibilities. Other people counted on him. He was in a band. His old life was too horrific to even imagine.
Lucas picked up the bags of heroin and clutched them in his balled fist. He raced to the bathroom and stood over the toilet. Then, without even giving his next actions a second thought, he ripped the bags open, and the powder spilled out into the toilet.
He was panting hard as he watched it trickle down like sand out of the bag. He flushed it and tossed the empty bags into the wastebasket. There. He had done it. He had rid his home of the illegal, deadly drug and there was nothing more he could do about it.
Lucas glanced at Christy, still sleeping on the bed. He had a flicker of smug satisfaction. He couldn’t wait for her to wake up so that he could tell her that he flushed her precious drugs. It was the least she deserved. He strode to the bed and stood over her naked body. She used to be attractive, but the drugs had significantly aged her. She was a wreck.
He wanted the best for her, but at the moment she was screwing with his life. That was one thing, but when she fucked with people that he cared about, like Abigail, that was a different story. Lucas needed to get her off his turf as quickly as possible.
Lucas cringed every time he saw Abigail’s devastated expression in his mind. She looked betrayed, and he understood her pain. He can’t imagine what he would do if he walked into her bedroom and found her with another man. He knew it would cause his soul to collapse and enrage him. Her reaction of running out of his apartment was one-hundred percent justified. He just wished that he could talk to her and explain everything. He wanted another chance, regardless of whether or not he felt vindicated in his mind to be deserving of one.
“Christy?” Lucas pushed on Christy’s shoulders to rouse her. It was no use. She was out cold.
He clenched his jaw as he remembered how satisfied Christy had looked when Abigail opened the bedroom door. The grin on Christy’s face made Lucas’ blood boil. She was a horrible person. He needed her gone.
“Christy?” He said again, this time a little more forcefully. He patted her cheek, tempering himself, so he didn’t touch her too hard. “Wake up. It’s time to go.”
She grumbled in response and smacked her lips together. Surely, she wasn’t still on the same high as before. He would just have to count the seconds until she woke up. He walked to his kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He was restless. He needed to do something to reset his mind.
He glanced out the window at the city below, waking up for the day ahead. He wondered what other people were doing down there. Were they living lives of chaos just like he was? Was there turmoil they couldn’t escape, demons of their pasts still haunting them? If only the media knew what a nightmare he was living in the current moment. They would certainly have a field day.
Fuck, he desperately needed to repair the damage he’d done with Abigail. Why wouldn’t she turn her damn phone on? Abigail was such a genuine, person. Her heart was pure. She was a little mischevious and adventurous, sure, but in an incredibly fascinating way that made him feel hooked on her. Her biggest asset was the fact that she wasn’t addicted to heroin or any drug for that matter.
Lucas walked back into his bedroom and scowled down at Christy. “You fucked everything up.”
How dare she lay there sleeping in his bed so peacefully?
“Christy, wake up,” Lucas demanded in a louder, more aggressive tone.
This time, to his relief, she began to respond. She groaned and squinted, opening one eye as she blinked against the harshness of the mid-morning sun.
“What?” Her voice was a raspy croak.
“You are ruining my life,” he told her. “It’s time for you to go.”
He would go to the police and get a restraining order against her as soon as she was gone. He wouldn’t hesitate. That way, the next time he showed up at his door, he would be ready and waiting to call the police. Maybe some jail time would be good for Christy. She surely could use instant sobriety.
One thing was certain in Lucas’ mind. He wasn’t going to let an incident like this happen again. He just hoped it wasn’t too late to work things out with Abigail. His reaction to seeing her so broken and hurt made him realize how much he wanted her to be in his life, how much he wanted to pamper her and give her everything she deserved. He wanted to give her the moon, and everything in between. He didn’t want to see her suffering anymore. Not on his watch.
Christy groaned and sat up, stretching. Her eyes looked dark and sinister. “Where’s your friend?” She said with a menacing smile.
“That’s not funny,” Lucas practically hissed.
“Oh, come on, baby...” Christy trailed off and pouted out her bottom lip as she scratched a scab in between her fingers. It was most likely an injection site she used for her needles.
“For the last fucking time, stop calling me that,” Lucas shouted.
Christy stared at him, apparently taken aback. “What happened to us?”
“There is no us,” Lucas said and vigilantly shook his head. “Not anymore.”
Christy huffed and rubbed her head as if it was aching.
“You really need to get your shit together,” Lucas said. “You need to get out of my house too. You’re screwing everything up!”
“Oh, who the fuck cares,” Christy mocked and stood up with a revolted look on her face.
“I care. It’s my life; you are wrecking Christy, and it stops now.” Lucas eyed her with defiance.
“Wow.” Christy shook her head and stared with her mouth gaping open. “You’ve really changed.” She said it in a disgusted inflection as if that were a bad thing.
“Of course, I’ve changed Christy. I’m not a drug addict anymore.”
“The need for it will always be there though,” Christy argued.
“It won’t. Not as long as people like you leave me the fuck alone. This is the last time you show your face around here. Do you understand me?”
“Fine,” she grumbled. “I’ll leave you alone, so you can have your precious money and your beautiful girl.” She began dramatically throwing her clothes back on. “If you don’t want me here, I know when to
take a hint.”
“Finally,” Lucas grumbled sardonically under his breath.
“Just don’t forget who you are or where you come from,” Christy spat.
“I never forget that,” Lucas said in a raised voice as he pointed at his own chest. “It’s what defines me. I realize that. I don’t need you here as a constant reminder. Running from my past is the only way I can have the strength to get through every fucking day. I am trying to improve, every damn day. Yes, every day is a struggle. You don’t have to tell me what I already know.”
Lucas was angry. He was breathing hard. His ears felt hot. Christy always knew what buttons to press with him.
“Well,” she said with a smirk. “I guess I’ll let you get back to your healing process.” She used air quotes with the words ‘healing process’.
He slammed the door behind her. “Don’t come back!” He shouted through the closed door.
He knew she could hear him. It gave him satisfaction to know that she was gone, at least for now. He would have to look not the restraining order thing, but for now, he only had one conquest on his mind. He had to purge all the toxins. The best way to start was by following his heart and apologizing to the people he had hurt.
He had to get to Abigail. It was time to tell her the whole truth about his dark past. He jumped into his car and raced all the way to her apartment building, hoping along the way that she would give him one last chance to redeem himself and prove how much he cared about her.
Chapter Seventeen
LUCAS’ HEART WAS THREATENING to pound out of his chest as he stood in front of Abigail’s door. He took a step back, then edged closer. He raised his hand to knock on the door, then quickly drew it back down towards his side. Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with him?
He was torn. What if she wouldn’t let him in? He hadn’t pondered that before, so engrossed on his need to see her face. His throat felt dry and swollen. His palms were clammy. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he was having a withdrawal. A withdrawal from Abigail.
