by Lane Hart
“No, you knew it was me.”
“How can you be so certain? I’m seeing Eddie and Mike…”
“You said my name, Cass! You begged me to keep kissing you, and then you said you had waited a long time for it to happen.”
“No,” she says with a shake of her head. “You must have misheard me. I didn’t say that.”
“Your lips were on mine; your tongue was in my mouth. I didn’t mistake anything except for your reasoning. So why, Cass? Why did you kiss me?”
“I-I don’t know! I was drunk.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaim so loudly she jumps. “Stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself.”
“I’m sorry, Xavier. It won’t happen again. I’ll never drink that much around you to make sure.”
“No,” I say. “I want to get you drunk again, because apparently that’s the only time you’re honest with me.”
“Xavier, can you please just forget it ever happened? I have, so, please…”
“Don’t you want to know if it was good or not?”
“What?” Cass asks while redoing her ponytail; a nervous habit to keep her hands busy.
“The kiss. Don’t you want to know if it was good?”
“Not really, no,” she scoffs.
“Well, it was,” I tell her. “It’s a shame you don’t remember it.”
“Ah, yeah,” she says while her cheeks redden. “I bet it was. But I’ll make sure it doesn’t ever happen again.” That’s apparently the end of the conversation on the topic, because she turns around and marches back inside the bar.
And I feel like a fool. This was not how I wanted to bring up the topic with her. I didn’t even say any of the things I wanted to, like I want her to kiss me again, not give me a guarantee it won’t ever happen again. Or that kissing her felt so natural that I can’t figure out why we haven’t done it before now.
I don’t want Cass sitting in another man’s lap or going to football games with anyone else. I want to be the one who pulls her into my lap and spends every Sunday with her even if I don’t give two shits about football.
But now I’ve ruined my chance by blurting out about the kiss and bringing it up the wrong way.
Cassidy
Oh. My. God.
I kissed Xavier…and I don’t even remember it! How is that possible? How drunk was I? And worst of all, he said it was good. We shared a good kiss, and I didn’t even know. I feel so stupid and embarrassed. I may never drink again, at least not around Xavier.
“Can I please get a water?” I ask the bartender since I’m too ashamed to go back to our table yet.
And if the kiss happened days ago, why is Xavier just now bringing it up again? He should’ve said something the next morning when he told me about Mike stopping by. I thought he was acting weird, and now I know why. I came on to my best friend, and he was too much of a gentleman to tell me…until now.
Why now, of all times, did he bring it up and in front of Eddie, to top it all off? Not that I care about that since Eddie is well aware that the two of us are not exclusive. It’s a perfect reminder, in fact, to make sure Eddie doesn’t get the wrong idea about us being something we’re not.
Still, I wish there was a way to get inside Xavier’s head and scrub away the memory to make him forget. I don’t want one stupid, impulsive, drunken decision of mine to make things awkward between Xavier and I, especially not now when he’s getting ready to finally move back home for the first time in ten years! I just want my best friend back, and now I’ve probably pushed him away because of a stupid kiss. The worst part is, I didn’t even get to experience it after all these years thinking about what it would be like to have Xavier’s mouth on mine.
Hold the freaking phone.
Did he kiss me back?
The whole time he was telling me about it I was too embarrassed to even think to ask.
And now I’ll never know because I plan to go the rest of my life without mentioning it again. Damn it! This is all my mom’s fault. If she hadn’t come over and nagged me while reminding me of my longtime crush on Xavier, I wouldn’t have drank a bottle of wine, and…the kiss wouldn’t have happened.
“Here you go, Cassidy,” Frasier, the owner and bartender tonight, says when he slides a cool glass of ice water in front of me.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I lift the glass to my lips and guzzle it down to try and cool off my overheating face.
Now, I just hope to go back over with the group and watch the game, hoping Xavier will quickly forget I put my mouth on his.
Chapter Fourteen
Xavier
I regret opening my big ass mouth.
Ever since I told Cass about our kiss last night, she’s been distant, barely speaking a word to me.
Oh, but she was chatty enough with Eddie and her fantasy buddies.
I never meant to make her feel bad about it when I brought it up. I want a repeat, not for her to pull further away from me. The two of us haven’t been in the same room since the bar. This morning, she didn’t even stick her head in the guest bedroom to tell me she was headed to the store to make sure things are still running smoothly without her. Cass was down the stairs by the time I came out into the hallway and asked if she wanted me to go with her. Her answer was no, that she would handle it on her own so that I could get to the gym.
Now I probably won’t see her again or talk to her until tonight when we head to our former high school’s homecoming football game. I haven’t had a chance to ask if she’s expecting either of her fuck buddies to join us there too. God, I really hope not. I’m not sure I could sit there and watch another man’s hands running all over her like she’s his. Not that she’s mine either, but still. It’s rude to be so grabby in public.
There’s at least been one benefit to my current foul mood.
“Jesus, you hit harder than a Mack truck,” Coach Briggs says as I plow my fists into his red pads over and over again. “Whose head are you trying to take off?”
“No one,” I say through my puffs of breath, even though I’ve been alternating between picturing Mike’s smug face with Eddie’s big fucking melon. Cassidy willingly kisses them sober all the time apparently. But me? I’m the huge mistake she obviously regrets.
I regret nothing. Not the kiss or running off the asshole when he showed up and interrupted or deleting his texts from her new phone this morning while she was in the shower. Okay, so that probably makes me the asshole, but I don’t care. The man only wants one thing from Cass, and she deserves better than him and big ass Eddie.
“Then where is all this aggression coming from?” Coach asks. “I don’t remember you being so…volatile when you were a kid. You angry at the ex?”
“My ex, right,” I agree as I lower my arms to take a break. The man I should be picturing my fists slamming into is my former friend and fellow associate, the one who Camilla was screwing behind my back. And I did use him as a focus object those first few weeks when I was working out at the gym back in Seattle. But never did I take out as much aggression on him as I have here at Havoc.
“Well, whatever it is, don’t forget it,” he says. “At least not until after your fight.”
“Any leads yet?” I ask while wiping the sweat from my brow.
“Several, in fact,” he tells me as he lowers the pads. “Just waiting to get something in writing from all of them so I can give you your options.”
“You think I’m going to have more than one?” I ask since he said options, plural.
“Oh yeah. You’ll have your pick of opponents. We’ll watch some tapes and figure out who would be your best match and the best payout.”
“And who I can beat,” I add.
“Of course,” Coach says. “Although, I don’t think there’s many that could beat you after a few months of training. You’ve got your father’s strength, packing one hell of a punch.”
“Maybe so, but my dad didn’t fight men who weighed two-hundred and twenty-five pounds or more either.”
“That’s true,” he replies with a nod of his head. “You’re gonna have to be able to move fast to avoid getting knocked out.”
“No shit,” I snort. “Now, let’s go again,” I tell him as I bounce on the balls of my feet.
“If you say so,” he agrees as he lifts the pads in front of his face again.
Cassidy
“Are you about ready?” Xavier asks Friday night when he walks into my bedroom without even knocking. Thankfully, I was already dressed.
“Ah, yeah,” I reply while using the mirror on my closet door to put my small diamond earrings in. It takes me three tries to line them up thanks to the gorgeous man in khakis and a red polo taking up the majority of the reflection. The pants are fitted, showing off his muscular frame, and his big biceps bulge deliciously from underneath the short sleeves. “But I mean, if you’re in a hurry and want to go on, I can catch up with you.”
“Cass,” Xavier grumbles. “I’m not leaving without you.”
“Well, I didn’t know if you were getting tired of waiting or whatever.”
When I turn around from the mirror, he takes a few steps toward me while his dark eyes sweep down my sleeveless, red dress that stops just above my knees matched with a pair of black strappy heels. We may be going to a football game, but everyone we went to high school with and haven’t seen in years will be there judging, so I want to look as good as possible…and as least like the dork I was ten years ago.
“I’m not getting tired of waiting,” Xavier says as he casually shoves both hands into the front pockets of his pants, drawing my attention to the zipper area. “But I’m getting tired of you avoiding me.”
“What?” I ask as I force my eyes back up to his.
“You’ve been avoiding me since last night at the bar.”
Scoffing, I say, “No I haven’t,” while reaching up to smooth back my ponytail. “You had things to do today and so did I.”
“I could’ve gone with you to the store, and then you could’ve come with me to the gym.”
“And what exactly would I have to do at the gym but sit around and watch you work out?” I point out.
“What’s wrong with that?” Xavier asks with a sexy half-grin. “You went with me to Havoc the other day. I like having you there. You make me feel like I’m not alone in this silly plan of mine.”
“Fighting is not a silly plan. And I don’t have to physically be there to support and encourage you,” I reply even though fireworks are exploding inside of me, inwardly pleased to hear him say he likes having me around.
“Still, I like when you’re around,” he says.
“Then maybe I’ll go tomorrow,” I offer. “Are you planning to train before the reunion?”
“Yeah, and to check in with Coach about potential opponents.”
“Okay, so we can go by Havoc in the morning and then come home after lunchtime so I can start getting ready for the dance.”
Xavier’s jaw ticks like he’s grinding his teeth before he says, “Are you still planning to go with one of your fuck buddies?”
“Well, I did ask Mike to take me a few weeks ago,” I reply.
“Cancel,” he says.
“Cancel?” I huff. “Why would I do that? I don’t want to show up alone like I’m still the same loser I was ten years ago.”
“You were never a loser,” Xavier says. “And you wouldn’t have to go alone. You could be my date.”
“Your…date?” I repeat.
“Yes.”
“You want me to be your date to the reunion?” I ask again.
“Why not?” he asks with a shrug of his massive shoulders.
“Because we’re just friends,” I say without hesitation. “And if we show up together, people may get the wrong impression.”
“We’re going to the game together tonight, right?” he questions. “Or am I the third wheel to one of your fuck buddies again?”
“I didn’t invite Mike or Eddie,” I respond. “So, yeah, it’s just us, but a football game isn’t the same as the reunion dance. One is more of a group outing, and the other is more…”
“What?” Xavier asks.
“More couple-y,” I say.
“Couple-y?” he repeats in the tone that says I’m using a goofy, made up word.
“That’s right. People show up at the reunion with their spouse or girlfriend.”
“I don’t have a spouse anymore,” Xavier says. “And you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“So you’re saying we should go together, as friends?” I ask for clarification.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Except for the friend part.”
“Huh?”
“Who cares what everyone thinks, Bambi? Let them believe what they want about us,” he tells me.
“Okay,” I agree. “I’ll, ah, tell Mike he’s off the hook. Not that he will probably mind since he hasn’t called or texted since the night you said he showed up.”
“Oh really?” Xavier asks. “That’s too bad.”
“Yeah,” I reply even though I don’t mind. I’m not good at seeing multiple guys, even if everyone agrees we’re not exclusive. I wasn’t built for fooling around and was only trying something new to try and shake the crush I’ve had on my best friend for years.
Too bad it didn’t work.
Not even close.
And being with Xavier this week has only made those feelings I have for him grow stronger.
How the hell am I going to keep a lid on things when he’s living here in town and around all of the time?
I’m a complete mess after just a few days!
But I’m sure Xavier won’t be single for long. In no time, he’ll be sleeping with all the single women in town, before marrying someone else. And then I’ll have no choice but to get over him once and for all.
Not that I was successful in doing that after his first marriage.
Xavier
Cass and I get to the school and get parked a few minutes before kickoff. Neither of us are hungry, so we head right for the bleachers that are already crowded, which is perfect.
Instead of looking for an open area near the aisle, I lead the way into the middle of the row where we’ll be cramped, and Cass will have no choice but to be close to me.
“You want to sit here?” she whispers to me as I sit my ass down on the cool bench.
“Why not?”
“There’s more room up higher,” Cass points out.
“Closer to the field is better. Now sit,” I tell her when I grab her hips and lower her butt down beside me.
More people arrive after we all stand for the national anthem, and so by the second quarter of the game, Cass and I are pressed together at our thighs, hips, and arms.
“Just like old times, right?” I ask her, resting my hand on her knee. Thankfully, she doesn’t pull away from my touch or tell me to move it.
“Yeah, old times when you were Mr. Popularity and I was your tagalong friend everyone called a freak.”
“Nobody called you a freak,” I assure her. “If they had, I would’ve knocked them out.”
“They thought it and said it behind your back,” she informs me. “Everyone thought I was pathetic for…never mind.”
“What?” I ask when she stops abruptly. “Why do you think they thought you were pathetic? I never got that vibe.”
“Forget it,” Cass says. “Let’s just watch the game.”
The truth is I don’t have any idea what the score is or who has the ball. I’m too focused on the heat growing between where mine and Cassidy’s bodies are touching, wanting to kiss her but too afraid she will reject me. She seems so tense, like I’m making her uncomfortable.
God, I wish I could read her mind. That would make this so much easier than making a fool of myself.
Part of me is also scared she won’t turn me down. What if things are great between us until we end up in bed and it’s…awkward? Would that ruin our friendship? Probably. Knowing Cass, she would shut
down and avoid me, which is the last thing I want.
So, do I take a chance and see if she feels the same about me? Or do I keep my mouth shut and let everything stay the same, so I don’t lose my best friend?
Chapter Fifteen
Xavier
After another grueling day of conditioning, while still waiting for a confirmed fight, it’s finally the night of our high school reunion. I’m not all that thrilled about having to talk to the jackasses we went to school with a second night in a row, but Cass seems pretty excited and I’m glad to be her date. It was nice to have her at the gym watching today too. I don’t know what I would do without her supporting me, so no matter how much I want her, I’ll keep my feelings to myself, so we’ll stay friends.
I’m dressed in my black pinstripe suit with a white button down that Cassidy picked out, just waiting for her to come downstairs. I swear she’s been getting ready for, like, two or three hours. And I don’t mind waiting, but I just don’t see what she would do to take that much time since she always looks great.
I’ve just poured myself a glass of scotch and am throwing it back, preparing myself to make chit-chatting with fake ass people easier when Cass walks into the kitchen and I nearly choke on it.
“Wow. You look…” I start before the burning in my throat sends me into a coughing fit.
“Like a cheap hooker?” Cass asks with a wince as she glances down at her sexy, red dress. Red and black are our school colors, but unlike the conservative, less revealing dress she wore last night, this one is tiny. The hem is cut off at around her mid-thigh, revealing her long, lean legs, and it’s completely strapless so that the top of her chest is bare, and her cleavage is…magnificent. As usual, when she goes out now, she’s wearing contacts, but her hair is down for once instead of in her normal ponytail, flowing in blonde waves over her shoulders, a few strands brushing along the top of her tits. There’s only one way to describe her — Cassidy’s a fucking knockout.
