Luca stood motionless and silent for a long moment as I stared at the dirty grout lines on the floor. “I’m going to give you time to cool down, then we’re going to talk this through like adults. Go talk to your father. I’ll be in touch.” He let himself out of the bathroom, and I dropped my head in relief that the moment was over.
Stepping toward the small vanity, I stared vacantly at my reflection. Who was the woman staring back at me? I never thought the answer to that question would be so elusive. Was I the daughter of a criminal? Had my entire life been a lie?
My father was imposing, but so are plenty of men. Could he have had a secret life hidden away from us all these years? If so, had my mother known? I felt sick with betrayal. I needed to know the truth, and there was only one way to do that.
I stepped out of the bathroom, scanning the active lobby as I’d done so many times before. The place I’d been so proud of only hours ago now looked tainted. If my father was in the mafia, it was doubtless my family wasn’t the only casualty of his activities. The company I loved so dearly likely bore the sticky fingerprints of his criminal ties.
I walked straight to the elevator, eyes directly ahead. Looking at the lively animation of the people who called this place their home away from home made me sick to my stomach. My lifelong dream had been dipped in tar and was now irrevocably spoiled—corrupted and dirty.
Avoiding eye contact with my coworkers, I walked numbly to my father’s office. I wasn’t sure how he would have managed a second life when he spent so many hours inside these walls. Everything about Triton had felt legitimate. How could something so real, so tangible, be a sham?
I didn’t knock when I walked into his inner sanctum. His was the only office with rich wood paneling on the walls. He said it made the space feel more inviting, but it would also help soundproof his office. It was amazing how, in a matter of minutes, one piece of information forced you to look at the world from a different perspective.
I approached his ornate wooden executive desk, standing awkwardly, feeling suddenly like a child again. “Is any of this real? Has it all been a lie?” My words had been cryptic, but it was the first thing that popped into my head.
My father looked up in surprise, unaware I had entered the room. His eyes narrowed as he took in my pallor and my bloodshot eyes. Without saying a word, he went to close the office door before slowly returning to his desk chair.
“I’m not sure I understand—can you explain what you’re asking?” His words were the epitome of caution and diplomacy. Just like Luca, everything I needed to know was there, written between the lines.
“You’re in the mafia, aren’t you? Our lives have been one giant lie.”
He inhaled a deep breath, then leaned back in his chair, lips pursed tightly. “Who gave you this information?”
It was unsettling how calm I felt when my world was crumbling around me, piece-by-piece. I slowly lowered myself into one of the guest chairs, perching on the edge of the cushion. Who was this man who sat across from me? I glanced up, searching in vain for a hint of familiarity. Only the contours of his face and his outer appearance bore any significance—the man beneath the surface was a mystery.
He stared at me expectantly, a dangerous glint in his eyes, still waiting for an answer to his question. Would Luca become a target for sharing the truth with me? Regardless of my torn feelings for him, I didn’t want him hurt because of me. “A friend.”
“A man,” he concluded.
I kept my lips sealed, not confirming or denying.
“I take it someone from one of the other families. No one in my outfit would have dared.”
“I guess I appreciate that you aren’t trying to deny it. I can’t imagine it’s been easy lying to everyone for so long.” My words were clipped, an undercurrent of anger infiltrating my numbness.
He lifted a brow in warning. Normally, I’d never be allowed to speak to my father with attitude, but he was giving me a small amount of leniency, considering the circumstances. “I did it to keep you and your sisters safe. After Marco was killed, I wasn’t going to put you all at risk.”
Then it clicked—Marco’s killing wasn’t a random mugging. His death had been a byproduct of my father’s mafia dealings. “It was you. You’re the reason he died,” I breathed the words more to myself than him.
My father went inhumanly still.
What I’d said had been hurtful, but I didn’t care. He’d brought it on himself—and for what? Power? Money? I’d rather we had been poor and still had my brother alive.
“None of this is any of your concern,” he said coolly. “You’ve lived all your life in the dark; there’s no reason this has to change anything. Find a nice young man to marry, have children, and join the PTA.”
“Not my concern? This is my family—of course, it’s my concern! What happens when you go to prison or get killed? What happens when Triton is shut down by the feds? Everything about your actions affects my life.”
“Why do you think I’ve kept my identity a secret?” he shot back at me, his anger finally getting the better of him. “To ensure I’m never touched and neither are any of you. No one, outside of a select few, knows who I am—that now includes whoever fed you the information. You’re going to tell me who that is, for all our safety.”
“And Mom, does she know?” I asked, ignoring his last comment.
“Of course, she knows.”
The more I learned, the clearer it all became. “Maria too—she knows, doesn’t she? That’s why you two have always been so close—she’s always known.” That realization was surprisingly painful. Was I not trustworthy enough to be brought into the fold? Why had she been included in their secrets but not me? “Am I the only one who didn’t know?”
“We’ve never told Sofia. Giada and her sisters, none of them know. La cosa nostra, this thing of ours, it’s not discussed. There’s no reason for the children to know—it’s safer for all of us.”
“Giada? Uncle Edoardo—he’s in this too?”
He dropped his chin in affirmation.
Holy shit. How had I not known my entire family was part of the mob? What rock had I been living under?
“The man who told you this information—is he the man you’ve been seeing?”
I was steadfast in my vow of silence. I would not give up Luca’s identity.
“Don’t protect him, Alessia. The only reason he’s seeing you is to get information about our family. Our business in the last year has been booming, and the other families are jealous, looking for ways to bring us down. He’s using you.”
Could he be right? How could I trust anything my father said when he’d lied to me for so long? Sure, I believed he wanted the best for me, but maybe he thought that meant keeping Luca away at all costs. Luca claimed to be honest with me and gained nothing by telling me about my father, but he was just as morally corrupt. He knew who I was the whole time, setting up ways to get close to me, then worked his way under my skin. Had it all been a tactic to get close to my father?
I couldn’t trust either of them, but I still didn’t have it in me to rat out Luca. I didn’t want to be near him, but I didn’t want my father to hurt him either. “I’m not seeing him any longer, so you don’t have to worry about him, but I’m also not telling you his name. I need to go home now—just being here makes me sick.” I stood without meeting his eyes and walked toward the door. Each step was heavier than the last under the crushing weight of heartbreak.
“I’m going to let Leo know to be on the lookout for this man—I don’t want him anywhere near you,” he called out behind me.
I paused and turned back, unable to summon any more surprise. “My driver? He’s one of yours then?”
“One of our best soldiers. Just because you never knew, didn’t mean I haven’t provided protection for you.”
I could sense the pride in his voice, but it didn’t sway me like he may have hoped. “Silly me, I should have known Leo
was never just a driver.”
“How do you think I’ve been able to give you all this?” He lifted his hands to indicate Triton and all the advantages we’d grown up with. “Before you go back to your pretty high-rise apartment and condemn me, think about all the opportunities this life has given you.”
“I see nothing but blood money.”
“Well, you’re a part of the family now, so you better get used to it.”
I walked away from him, tears welling in my eyes. He was right. No matter how I felt or what I did, I was a part of the life. My knowledge alone could get me killed. I never wanted any of it, but fighting would be futile. So, where did that leave me?
Leo was waiting for me outside, his black Cadillac double-parked on the busy street. Instead of slipping into the back seat as I usually did, I joined him up front in the passenger seat.
“Well, hello,” he offered with a surprised raise of his blond brows.
“You work for my father?” I asked without any greeting.
“Uhhh … what’s this all about?”
“You don’t have to play dumb; I know about my father now. I know he’s in the mafia.”
“Shit, Alessia, watch your mouth.” He gaped at me as if I’d called in a bomb threat to the White House. “You don’t go spouting that shit—you’ll get yourself killed.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone. He said you were one of his soldiers, whatever that means, so I knew that you knew. You don’t even work for a service, do you?”
“I work for your father. You are my one and only priority.”
“Do you report back to him on where I go and what I do?”
He cut his eyes over to me in answer.
All these years, while my father had acted indifferent about my life, he’d been watching over me. It was somewhat reassuring to know he had cared, but it didn’t totally make up for the feeling of betrayal. I felt like my life was a reality TV show, and everyone knew but me. I had been living a pretend life, blithefully unaware nothing around me was real.
My lifestyle had been supported by dirty money—my clothes to my education—nothing was clean. The man I’d called father all my life was a stranger. Even my life’s purpose to run our family business was now tainted. The question remained—who was I in the wake of so many lies? Could I be the same person I’d been hours ago? If I could still be that girl, did I even want to be her any longer?
20
Alessia
I spent the rest of the day hiding in my apartment. Luca and my father both did me the courtesy of leaving me alone. I called in sick at work, letting my staff know that I wouldn’t be in the rest of the week. I was too upset to handle life. I needed time to decide what my next move would be.
My emotions acted like a carousel with different horses rising up and down on poles. I’d left Leo in a haze of despair and hurt, but by the next morning, anger had trumped all the other emotions, taking the lead. I was furious that any semblance of control I had over my life had been taken from me, manipulated in ways I’d never even known.
So many lies.
My life had been built on them.
Midway through the morning, Maria called me. I debated not answering. I was pissed at her for being included by my father and for not telling me herself about our family, but Maria never called me, and my curiosity won out.
“Hello?” My curt greeting was lukewarm at best.
“You need to stop acting like a child.”
“Excuse me?”
“Everything Dad’s done was to keep you and Sofia safe. You find out and throw an unholy tantrum, pissed you weren’t included in the secret like it’s some game.” That was Maria, always telling it exactly as she saw it.
“I know this is no game, Maria. That’s exactly why I’m so upset. This is my life, and now I’m inextricably bound to a family of criminals without any say in the matter.”
“You could always leave.”
Her words stunned me. “Is that what you want? You want me to leave?”
“I didn’t say that—don’t put words in my mouth,” she shot back, a touch of anger in her voice. “You don’t want to be a part of this, leaving is always an option. Don’t say you don’t have a choice. If you stay, then yes, to some degree, you will always be connected, especially now that you know.”
“Why did he tell you and not us?” My question was rife with hurt, and I hated myself for showing her that vulnerability.
“You and Sof were always too good for the life. Dad wanted to give you two the chance to be free of the family.”
“And you?”
“I was a different story. Surely you remember what a terror I was as a kid. Dad knew I would get myself into trouble if he didn’t guide me and give me an outlet for all my raging emotions. Hell, I broke Billie Tomlinson’s nose when I was only ten—I wasn’t like you two. Never was, never will be.”
My heart hurt for her. Why had she been so tormented as a kid? Could I have done something differently to help? She had been the closest in age to Marco, and her discipline problems had started around the time of his death. I could only assume she had taken his loss harder than the rest of us.
“I wasn’t trying to throw a tantrum,” I attempted to explain. “You have to try to understand that my life was just turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew was wrong, and now, I’m struggling to sort it all out.”
“I get it. You’ve led a charmed life, though, and you need to understand there are all sorts of ugly out there. Just because you grew up thinking life was sunshine and rainbows, doesn’t mean it is. You may think we’re monsters, but we are far from the worst things out there. It’s time for you to accept that life has its darker side.”
“So, I’ve heard. I’m surprised you’re even talking to me about this over the phone. Aren’t you worried about wiretaps or crap like that?”
She choked on a laugh. “It’s not like the movies—don’t let your imagination run away from you. We’re very cautious—we only use iPhones because they’re encrypted, and not even the feds can get in. We don’t have regular meetings, and the bosses are rarely ever seen at all. Business is often done online and always very discreetly.”
“The movies are the only thing I have to go by. This is all new to me.”
“To some extent, everything can stay exactly as its been. You don’t have to be involved. I know you’re hurt and upset, but it’s not the end of the world.”
She wasn’t entirely wrong. What I’d learned felt life-altering, but it didn’t necessarily have to be. “Alright,” I conceded. “I’ll try to calm down, but I’m still not happy about this.”
“I know, but if it’s any consolation, I’m glad you know now, and I don’t want you to leave.”
“Thanks, Maria,” I could barely get the words out over the lump that formed in my throat. Those had been the nicest words she’d ever spoken to me. Maybe our relationship might be the one silver lining to this whole nasty mess.
We said goodbye, and I went back to moping but feeling far less alone than I had minutes before. I laid down on the couch to lose myself in some mindless television, and the next thing I knew, I was woken by a knock at my door.
Shaking off the confusion of sleep, I rubbed my eyes and stumbled to the door. A glance through the peephole told me Luca had decided my time away was over and had come to talk.
“Go away, I don’t want to see you,” I called through the door.
“I’m not leaving until we talk. You can open the door, or I can break it down.” His deep voice resonated through the thick wood and twisted my insides.
I opened the door a crack, tears of frustration pricking at my eyes. “Please, stop. I don’t want to do this right now.”
Seeing him unruffled was unexpected. His normally perfectly styled hair shot up in all directions. His suit had been abandoned for a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he had bags under his eyes. Why w
as he so upset? I was just a means to an end for him.
“I was right, wasn’t I? I was right about your dad.”
My momentary sympathy was dashed away. His mention of my father reminded me of my dad’s warning about Luca using me. Like a metal garage door slamming down into place, I erected a wall between us.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You need to leave.” I started to close the door, but he shot his foot out just in time.
Pushing with all his weight, he thrust the door open and forced his way inside. “Don’t play that fucking game with me. I’ve been nothing but honest with you—telling the truth when no one else in your own family offered you the same courtesy. The least you can do is talk to me.”
“Telling me the truth? Does that include using me for information about my family? All you ever wanted was to get close to my father, so don’t pretend to be some white knight,” I shot back at him.
He ran a hand through his ruffled hair, eyes darting around in frustration. “That was it at first, but then it became more.”
I huffed out a bitter laugh. “And why should I believe you now?”
“Because not one thing I’ve said has been a lie. Yes, I sought you out to get information, but my interest in you has been real. Why else do you think I’m here?”
“To hurt my family?”
“No, I’m trying to save your family. Telling you about your father put my life at risk—why would I do that if I didn’t care about you? You deserve to know the truth, and you need to know because you’re in danger.”
I wrapped my arms around my middle protectively, unsure where this was going. “What are you talking about?”
“For months, tensions have been rising because your family has been double-crossing the other families. Three weeks ago, a made man was killed the day after he met with your father. It was unsanctioned by the Commission, which is comprised of the heads of each of the New York families, along with the families of the Chicago Outfit. Used to be every family in the country had a seat on the Commission, but the feds hit organized crime so hard in the eighties and nineties, the Commission shrunk. Anyway, an unauthorized killing of a made man in our world gives the right to blood for blood—it keeps order among the families. You don’t kill a made man or his family because you or someone you love can be killed as payback. This man was killed on the orders of someone in your family, the Luccianos. Your father is the boss. Therefore, if he gave the order, his family would be vulnerable to retribution—not just his mafia family, his blood family. That means you, Alessia. You and your sisters or your mother could be a target.”
Forever Lies (The Five Families Book 1) Page 16
