Idonia: A Romance of Old London

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by Arthur Frederick Wallis


  CHAPTER XVII

  HOW I FOUND AN OLD FRIEND IN A STRANGE PLACE, AND HOW PTOLEMY RENEWEDHIS STUDY OF THE LATIN TONGUE

  I was in the midst of a most excellent and comforting dream of Idonia,to whom I was again happily united, and we (if I rightly call it tomind), Duke and Duchess of Salamanca or of some place like-sounding,when I was roughly awakened by the jogging forward of the cart, towhich succeeded that a head was thrust in betwixt the curtains of myextemporary great bed, and a voice cried: "Woe worth the day! whatgallows'-food is here?"

  Making no question but that I was arrested, yet being still bedrowsedby sleep, I felt for my sword to deliver it up, but finding it not,said very stately: "Master Corregidor of Biscay, I yield myselfprisoner," and so lay quiet, expecting what he should do further.

  But that he did, squared so ill with all I had ever heard tell of themanners and behaviour of Corregidors or persons anyway notable, that Isat up and stared upon him gaping; for he gave but one look at me, andafter, with such a squealing of laughter as one might, suppose coneysto utter when they catch a weasel sleeping, he parted the curtainswider and leapt into the place where I lay, when he seized me by bothmy hands and wrung them up and down as they were flails.

  I was wide awake enough now, but yet for my life could not comprehendthe carter's apparent joy of seeing me, though as to that, 'twas abetter welcome than I had looked for, either from the Corregidor of mydreams, or from the rabble I was so vehemently pursued by.

  Now when this mad fellow had something slackened the excess of hiscomplacency, I took occasion to demand whether my remaining within thatframe of timber (that was none too big for us twain) were irksome tohim. "For," said I, "if it be not, I have my reasons why I should wishnot to leave it."

  At this he ceased his exercise altogether and, withdrawing both hishands from mine, regarded me reproachfully.

  "Hast so soon forgot Cayphas his mitre, and the ark of Noah?" said he.

  "Now of all the saints," I cried out, "'tis Ptolemy Philpot, thepageant master!" and saw that the sanctuary into which I had enteredwas within the pageant itself, I having my elbow even then resting onthe wooden box of his puppets, while about the narrow chamber were hungthe tabards, hats, pencils, fringed gowns of damask and other necessaryimagery of the interludes he showed. As to Master Ptolemy himself, hehad altered not a jot, so that I marvelled I had not sooner known him,except that I was then heavy with sleep; for he spoke still in the samesmall child's voice that issued from the middle of his bearded fiercecountenance, as a bird may twitter in the jaws of a pard that hathcaught her. Methought indeed that the agate colour was somewhat morerichly veined upon his nose, and that his body was more comfortablyoverlaid than I had formerly remembered it, and supposed therefore thathis bargain with Skegs had gone happily against my fears and to hisadvantage; the which he presently certified.

  "But it was not by any of the miracles or moralities he sold me, that Ihave prospered," said he, "for wheresoever I played it none would stayout the Deluge, no, not even in so goodly and well-considered a town asis Devizes, whither I went first of all, and where I enacted the sameby the special desire of one Sir Matthew Juke, a principal person thereand a famous traveller, as he said; who took upon him to condemn mynavigation of the Ark ere I had half concluded: affirming that if everI should use the sea as he had done, and so handled my ship in themanner of that voyage to Ararat, he would not answer for it, but Ishould be utterly cast away and my venture lost. Howbeit he gave me,in parting, a tester, which was all I had from that place, and yet moreby a sixpence than I got at Winchester whither I proceeded, and where Iwas fain to exchange the Deluge for the Miracle of Cayphas; but 'twouldnot serve, and I was suddenly put forth of that town of the beadle.Thereafter I essayed the Pageant of Melchisedec as they have it atChester, and though some part of it liked the people pretty well, yet Ilost as much as I gained by reason of a tempest that broke while thepiece was a playing, whereby the motion was all drenched by the rainand the hangings torn by the wind and Father Abraham his beard cameungummed from his jowl, so that it cost me five shillings to repair allthat damage. Then did I make shift to patch my patriarch figures withsuch modern habits and familiar countenances as should betoken ourfamous captains (as I told you I meant to do), and to that end paid toa clerk of Wallingford fifteen shillings for the writing of ahistory-comedy, wherein were such assaults and batterings and victoriesas suited to our late accomplishments at sea; but the illiterate andfilthy vulgar would have none of it, swearing I had turned Noah intoCaptain Drake, and Mount Ararat into Vigo, with so slight addition upontheir originals as 'twas scandal to behold; all which was true enough,doubtless, but the outcome mighty unprofitable to me, who therebybeheld my fortune to be slid from under me and myself fallen intoabsolute beggary."

  "How then came you to repair your fortune, Ptolemy?" said I, who hadlistened with an infinite, though secret, struggling against laughter,the while he had related his tale; "since it seemeth you no longer playyour pieces to an unkind audience."

  Mr. Philpot plunged his hand into his great beard, holding his chinthoughtfully, and after, withdrawing it, rubbed his forefinger slowlyalong his nose, as though to assure himself that he had come unchanged,and with all his attributes, through the storm and multitude ofaccidents that had assailed him.

  "'Tis an old saw and a true one, which saith, the miracles that happendaily we suffer to go by us unregarded; as the sunrise, and the returnof consciousness after sleep, and so following," said the pageantmaster, in his small reed voice, "and the same holds as with the rest,with plays also; namely, that what is too well known is stillneglected, and where no itch of expectancy is, there will no wits bescratching. 'Twas a reproach of the Athenians of old, master, thatthey went continually in hopes to see or hear some new thing, and yourstage-audiences differ in nothing from your Athenians, save only in thetongue they use, and the clothes they wear. I know not how the truthcame to be revealed to me," he proceeded pensively, "but come it didand in a good hour; I mean the truth that every man loveth secrecy andconcealment, as a child his coral. What did I then, but clap all mystock together, my mysteries, miracles, pageants, interludes and all,pell mell, Herod and Pilate their proper speeches and cues to boot: thediverting jests of Noah's wife with the admonitions of Abraham and thesentences of the Angel; and from this medley so made I fished forthsuch chanceable and ill-matched dialogues as a man must needs beSolomon or a very ass that would read sense into them, or confess todiscovering a propriety between speaker and spoken word. Why, list buta moment, and I will show you the whole matter," and with that he drewforth a torn quire of unstitched papers that was marked at the head,"The Masque of the Noble Shepherds," which word _Masque_, said Ptolemy,served to cover all such impertinent matter as he should choose tobring in, and acquainted me plainly with the way he had gone about hisauthorship; in which, nevertheless, I perceived so great an ingenuity,and such apparent gravity and fantastick leading up to nothing in theworld as, although I could comprehend no meaning in the piece (therebeing none to comprehend) yet I could well enough imagine the curiousand close attention with which it would be heard and seen.

  "I tell you I have had all sorts of men come away pleased with it,"said Ptolemy in conclusion; "and each for a different reason, andbecause he saw in it something that seemed to him to mean this, whichanother said was that, and a third, the other." He looked upon metriumphantly, and then added: "Why, I mind me how at Lambeth once,where I played, a Bishop and two Canons of the Church thanked mehandsomely for my holding up the new sect to ridicule; andcontrariwise, a little after, a Puritanical grocer demanded of me in awhisper how in this play I dared to rail as I did upon ChurchGovernment."

  "But do you represent your persons still as prophets and peasants asthey used to appear?"

  "I do not," said Ptolemy, winking upon me very shrewdly, "but rather Ihave ennobled them all, and call this one a King, and that an Earl, andthe other the Knight Alderman of Tavistock--in which place I was born;for it behov
eth us to honour the place of our birth; besides that, forthe rest, your Englishman loves nothing better than to see greatpersons on the stage, and aye to follow the fashions that he seesthere."

  We were interrupted at that time by the drawing aside of the curtain,and a shock-head boy, appearing, said--

  "We be arrived at the place, master. Shall I sound the tabor and speakthe prologue now?"

  "Whither are we come?" I asked, for I thought I might safely leave mycity of refuge and depart.

  "This is Tower Hill," said Ptolemy, "and I see we shall not lack of asufficient audience to-day," he added, looking forth through a chinkupon the throng that was already assembled.

  Now when I heard that we were returned to the very place whence I hadfled in fear of my life, I shrank back into a corner of the frame andbegged Mr. Ptolemy to let me remain with him until the place should beclear of folk and I able to go home without molestation. He seemed, Ithought, somewhat astonished, but at once agreed to keep me by him, andindeed to do anything in return for the kindness I had shown him atDunster, only requiring me to give him as much room as I could for thebetter management of his puppets, which he was now busy fitting totheir wires, while conning o'er the several parts they were due tospeak.

  Surely, no hunted man hath ever been so fantastically sheltered as I,above whose head kicked and dangled Mr. Ptolemy's wooden kings, andAldermen of Tavistock; and ranted their unintelligible speeches to thedelight of them that would have torn down the show in a fury had theyknown how near to them I lay concealed.

  In some such sort as follows the Masque commenced; the boy with thetabor speaking:

  "My worthy master Ptolemy Hath writ this prologue painfully To th' intent that by it ye may see What otherwise were dim. The scene though pastorally laid Is traversed by an Earl, arrayed In shepherd-guise to win a maid That loathes the sight of him."

  and so retired amidst a buzz of excitement.

  We had got through about half the piece in this manner, and withoutmishap, when Mr. Ptolemy, that was then in the midst of a complaint ofthe wooden Earl for the unkindness of his shepherdess; Mr. Ptolemy (Isay) turned to me suddenly, quite neglecting his book, and veryeagerly--

  "How now," quoth he, "here is the very opportunity come I have soughtlong since, and yet had nigh forgot it. What, I prythee, is themeaning of that little word _Quemadmodum_?"

  But ere I could reply, there arose such a shrill murmur of resentmentfrom the auditors as no seeker after truth might withstand, and Mr.Philpot, abruptly recalled to the necessary affairs of his love-sickEarl, had much ado to get him to his feet again, he being by this timeall entangled by the wires of the motion. However, he did so, and theplay proceeded again.

  When all was done and the boy sent round amongst the people to solicittheir gratuities, Mr. Ptolemy breathed a deep sigh, and having put uphis puppets into the box, closed the lid and returned upon me with acourteous request that I should now deal with him at large upon thesubject of _Quemadmodum_, which word, as he told me, he had oftentimesmet with in the books he continued to collect in the Latin tongue, andto which, when he should have acquired a competency, he intended todevote his leisure.

  "For there is nothing comparable with your Latin," said he, "to give acast of magnificence to that a man may say. My father had some wordsof it that he used chiefly when he was wroth, and they did more, Iwarrant you, than all else to bring him off happily in hisdisputations. The principal saying he used was ... nay, I have forgotit, but 'tis no great matter, for it was not of so catholick anapplication as the _Quemadmodum_, nor so well sounding."

  I was about to comply with his simple demand, when the lad again thrustin his head betwixt the hangings, crying out: "Come forth, master,instantly; for here is my Lord Lumley come from his great house above,that requires you to answer certain reflections made upon him, as hethinks, in that character of the rejected Earl; which will lead us thedevil's gait an' you satisfy him not of your simplicity."

  "What told I you?" exclaimed the poor baulked Latinist, regarding mewith so tragick a countenance that I lost all inclination to laugh,"there's none sees aught in all this but he hath brought it himselfhither in the thick o' the head, with a pest! and what is a poor playerto do!"

  He went away very sorrowfully to my Lord Lumley's house, and I, thatsaw my way open (being unwilling to attend his return), slipped from mycover and was soon enough safe at home. This adventure ended, and thenight come and gone, I went the next day to my work again, and therecontinued for above a week, casting accompts under the strict eye ofMr. Enos Procter, and never venturing nearer to Petty Wales thansufficed to show me there was a pretty strong guard of yeomen keptabout the broken gate, who suffered no man to approach closely, nornone (if indeed there were any left within) to depart thence. Iguessed by this, and by their leaving unprotected that lane behind theother half of the great house, that they knew not of the connection andpassage between the two parts; and so tried to comfort myself thatIdonia was got safely away, or if she yet remained, that she did sowithout any extraordinary peril; though for all that I was verymiserable to be kept ignorant of her present lodging, but resolvedthat, before many days were passed, I would forcibly undertake herdiscovery and rescue, or at the least come by such certain informationas should lead to our meeting, and the renewal of our pledged troth.

 

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