Returning to Eden (Acts of Valor, Book 1): Christian Military Romantic Suspense

by Rebecca Hartt

  “I left it in the living room.”

  “Want me to get it for you?”

  “Not really.” Her tone let him know she was sulking.

  “We’ll read together tomorrow,” he promised.

  Her gaze seemed to harden as she looked down at him.

  “Will you be here tomorrow?” she inquired quietly.

  He hesitated at the strange question. “Except for my appointment,” he replied.

  “What about a week from now? Or a year?” she pressed.

  The suspicion she’d overheard Eden’s ultimatum turned him cold, then hot as self-consciousness flooded him.

  Stepping into the room, he crossed to Miriam’s bunkbed and put a hand on the upper rail.

  “I don’t plan on leaving.” He’d made up his mind the night before that he was going to fight for his marriage, and he had no intention of changing it. “I struggled to get home to you guys,” he added, recalling suddenly his terrible thirst, the blisters on his hands as he rowed through inky darkness and blazing sun. The burgeoning memories encouraged him.

  “I don’t want to be anywhere else.” Saying the words out loud made them terribly apparent.

  Miriam swallowed but didn’t say anything.

  He didn’t realized he was gripping her bed so hard until his knuckles protested. He immediately let go.

  “Look, your mother loved me when she married me, right?” His mind flashed to their wedding pictures.

  Miriam nodded, her gaze softening.

  “Well, squirt.” Jonah had to clear his throat to get the words out. “Maybe she’ll fall in love with me again. What do you think?”

  He wanted desperately for Miriam to agree. The corners of her mouth twitched toward a smile.

  “Wouldn’t hurt to try,” she said, finally.

  They both stiffened at the sound of Eden running up the deck stairs with the dog.

  With a belated sense of propriety, Jonah backed toward the door, but Eden spotted him leaving Miriam’s room as she emerged from the foyer. Their gazes locked.

  “Everything okay?” she called with a worried look.

  “She wants her book,” he said.

  Eden glanced toward the couch. “I’ll get it.”

  Trailing her into the living room, he added, “Master Chief’s coming over. We’ll hang out on the deck so we don’t disturb you.”

  “Oh, good.” Her relief couldn’t have been more evident. Picking up Miriam’s book, she looked like she might say something more about the subject of their separation. Then she handed him the book instead. “Can you take this to her?”

  In other words, she trusted him to return to Miriam’s bedroom.

  “Sure.”

  “There’s some juice and beer in the fridge. Make sure you offer Master Chief a drink when he gets here.”

  The implication she would keep her distance wasn’t lost on him. “I will.”

  “But no beer for you since you’re taking medication.”

  “Right.” He decided she had to care about him a little bit to say that.

  Turning back to him, Eden added with a sigh, “Jonah, I’m really sorry about my timing. I mean, you’ve only been home for three days, and you’re trying to get your strength back. I just…I didn’t want to mislead you.”

  Seeing her so genuinely upset with herself, eyes bright with pent-up tears, he saw his chance to convince her to keep an open mind.

  “No worries,” he said. Then, before she could guess his next move, he stepped closer and put his arms around her, pulling her stiff body against him. “It’s going to be okay.”

  At first it was like hugging a pole, but when he smoothed his free hand up her spine, she seemed to relax slightly. Then, to his relief, she looped both arms around his neck and hugged him back, tentatively but genuinely.

  A groan of satisfaction stuck in his throat at their full-body contact. Her soft curves molded themselves against him, fitting perfectly against his larger frame. Something powerful and possessive rose up in him, causing him to tighten his hold.

  Eden immediately squirmed free. “Miriam’s waiting for her book,” she reminded him.

  Avoiding eye contact, she spun away and headed for her bedroom, shutting her door firmly between them.

  Was that a win or a loss? Jonah wondered. Surely a warm-blooded woman like Eden missed being held by her husband.

  A terrible thought occurred to him. Had she possibly found someone else to hold her in his absence?

  His gut wrenched at the thought. Could that be the reason she was anxious to wash her hands of him? Did she have someone waiting in the wings?

  No, no, no. Life couldn’t be that unkind, not when he’d survived captivity and made it all the way home again.

  Surely Master Chief would have kept an eye on Eden, if only as a sentimental favor to Jonah, whom everyone believed was dead. If rumors existed of Eden being with someone else, Rivera would have heard them.

  Recalling the book, still in his hand, Jonah plodded back to Miriam’s room to give it to her.

  Eden closed her bedroom door, then sank back against it, her knees too weak to hold her.

  Jonah had obviously retained his ability to waken her yearnings with a simple hug. His heat, his muscles, his scent all combined to undermine her aloofness and awaken her desires. She had just told him not an hour earlier she wanted to separate! Yet, here she was trembling from head to toe in the wake of his embrace.

  She had experienced this before. With every homecoming, he had wielded his special power and melted her hardened heart. His siren song had called her back to him, again and again. She could not afford to let it happen this time. Whatever else occurred, from that moment on, she couldn’t let him put his arms around her.

  She would not give up her hard-won self-sufficiency over a mere hug! With an oath to stay as far away from Jonah as possible, Eden pushed off the door and went into her bathroom where she couldn’t be overheard, to update her best friend.

  “I did it,” she said when Nina picked up. “I told him I want to separate when he’s better.”

  Her friend’s gasp of approval blended with the click of the door as Eden shut herself inside her bathroom.

  “How’d you tell him?”

  “After dinner, I just put it out there.” Sitting on the edge of her Jacuzzi tub, Eden pressed a fist into her churning stomach.

  “How did he react?”

  Eden thought back. “He said he didn’t blame me.”

  “Really?” Nina sounded incredulous.

  “I told you, he’s not at all like he used to be.”

  “Oh, please. He’s been home for three days,” Nina reminded her. “He hasn’t had time to revert to his old habits.”

  Eden spared a thought to how Jonah used to behave. “He hugged me this evening,” she admitted. “He still has that power over me.”

  “Ugh!” Eden pictured Nina rolling her eyes. “Don’t let him touch you, then. You know what’ll happen if you let him touch you. You’ll be all confused, and you’ll back away from your plan to separate. Next thing you know, you’ll be miserably married again.”

  “I’m already confused,” Eden admitted.

  “How? You were happy when he was gone. How can you be questioning that now?”

  Eden closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. “You’re right. It’s just because he’s so different.”

  “He’s not different,” Nina insisted. “If anything, he’s exploiting your weaknesses. He knows how to get to you—through your daughter and through your body. Doesn’t that sound like something he’d do?”

  Eden thought about it. The old Jonah did whatever it took to come out on top.

  “Yes,” she admitted.

  “See. You can’t trust he’s changed, honey. He’s behaving himself right now because you are virtually strangers, and strangers behave themselves. But deep down, he’s being true to form. He doesn’t want to lose you, Eden—who would?”

  “Right.” Nina’s words made
sense. Could Jonah be using Miriam to make a good impression with Eden? If so, it would break Miriam’s heart when she found out she still meant nothing to him.

  “Listen, I have to go. I promised Miriam I’d watch a movie with her this evening.”

  “No worries. You did the right thing, Eden. It’s kinder to Jonah to make your expectations clear than to lead him on.”

  “Yeah,” Eden agreed. “Thanks.” Ending the call, she lifted her gaze to the mirror.

  Regardless of her friend’s assurance, the woman gazing back at her looked distinctly torn.

  Chapter 8

  “What’s happening, Jonah?” Rivera asked.

  Jonah sat beside his master chief in the Adirondack chairs that offered a view of Dam Neck’s beach. The sun was setting out of sight behind the house, but it painted the sky with golden bands morphing into peach then darkening to violet where the sea met the sky. From the deck, perhaps thirty feet above sea level, Jonah figured the horizon he could see was over six miles distant.

  He’d entertained himself with such mathematical calculations while bobbing out in the Gulf, awaiting either rescue or death.

  At Rivera’s question, Jonah scrubbed a hand over his face to wake himself up. The nap he’d taken earlier clearly hadn’t been long enough.

  “I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted on a weary note.

  Rivera took a thoughtful drag on his bottle of papaya juice.

  “You’re seeing a doctor?” he inquired.

  “Yep, a psych named Branson.”

  The master chief frowned. “I would have thought you’d see Dr. Alexander. He’s supposed to be the best. But I’m sure Branson is good, or the CO wouldn’t have okayed him.”

  Jonah grunted. “Dwyer doesn’t care who I see. He’s washed his hands of me.”

  “I told you this—he cares. He’s just retiring soon.” Rivera, who was naturally demonstrative, reached a hand across the space between them and squeezed Jonah’s forearm.

  Jonah sighed despondently. “Thing is, no one understands why I’ve forgotten two years of my life. Amnesia caused by trauma makes sense. I went through some stuff, and I can see not wanting to remember it, especially if I betrayed military secrets.”

  Rivera scoffed at the notion. “Not you,” he said with gratifying certainty.

  Jonah glanced at the stunted fingernails on his left hand. “Well, thanks for that.”

  He didn’t think he had, either. Ripping out his fingernails would’ve only ticked him off. He considered the scars on his back from the lashings and the telltale signs of electric shock torture.

  “You don’t remember anything?”

  “Not yet. I’m supposed to call a Special Agent Elwood when I do.” Eden had stuck the man’s business card on the refrigerator.

  “Ah, Elwood,” Rivera said, clearly recognizing the name.

  Jonah looked at him askance.

  “He’s been investigating the op that resulted in your disappearance. Everyone on the squadron has been grilled by him,” Rivera explained.

  “Really? I wish I could remember what happened.” Immediately the ache behind Jonah’s left eye began to build. “This is going to sound crazy, but I feel like there’s something I have to remember. Something about weapons.”

  Rivera paused in the act of taking another sip. “Weapons?” He set his bottle down.

  “Yeah. Was the op an interdiction?”

  Rivera’s dark eyes swung toward the horizon. “Yes,” he said slowly.

  His reticence made Jonah stiffen. “I guess you’re not allowed to discuss it with me,” he realized.

  Rivera whipped his head back around. “Of course I can discuss it with you. You were there.”

  Jonah’s tension left him. “So, what was the objective?” He pitched his voice low in the unlikely event someone was standing under the deck listening.

  Rivera answered quietly. “We got word of some dirty bombs being stockpiled in a warehouse in Carenero, Venezuela. Four of you went in to retrieve them.”

  “Me, Lowery, Theo, and Saul,” Jonah said, recalling what Rivera had told him in the hospital.

  “That’s right. It was supposed to be a simple operation, in and out, except the bombs weren’t by the northeast wall where they were supposed to be.”

  “Faulty intel?” Jonah asked.

  “I don’t think so.”

  Rivera’s answer sharpened Jonah’s dulled mind. “What do you mean?”

  “This was not the first time we went to pick up weapons, only to find them gone. It’s happened so often now we’ve named the thieves The Entity.”

  “What do they steal?”

  “Mostly dirty bombs, chemical warfare agents, the kind of stuff our Third World enemies would like to get their hands on.”

  “How would The Entity have gotten the same intel we have?”

  Rivera shrugged. “Possibly someone in DIA is selling information?”

  Jonah grunted in disgust. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said, recollecting two prior instances of DIA agents betraying their country.

  “If not the DIA, then the leak is on our end,” Rivera said with reluctance.

  The certainty he knew something niggled Jonah again. He redoubled his efforts to remember, only to suffer the same lancing pain behind his eye.

  Rivera watched him rub the side of his face. “It hurts you to remember?”

  “Yes,” Jonah gritted. “Every time I think about the op I get this sharp pain behind my eye. It’s so frustrating. I don’t get it.”

  Sensing Rivera’s commitment to listening, Jonah unburdened himself of his private fears.

  “This is going to sound crazy,” Jonah began, “but I also feel like someone’s watching me.”

  Jonah pictured the navy-blue Taurus that pulled a U-turn before he could get close to it.

  “I don’t feel safe stepping out of the house without a weapon.” He scanned the area, suddenly uncomfortable merely thinking about it. “My doctor thinks I might have PTSD, the kind that doesn’t go away.”

  “What do you think?” Rivera countered, neither agreeing with the diagnosis nor scoffing at it.

  Jonah sighed. “I don’t think PTSD is the reason I’ve forgotten two years. If it was just my captivity that I couldn’t remember, then maybe. I can’t even remember my marriage,” he lamented, craning his neck to peer into the window at Eden and Miriam, both on the sofa watching a movie.

  Rivera mulled over the question for a minute. “What’s the last thing you recall?”

  A vision of Blake LeMere plummeting toward the earth made Jonah close his eyes.

  “LeMere’s death,” he said, meeting Rivera’s gaze again. “To me, it could’ve happened last week. I can’t remember anything after being told it was an accident.”

  “The incident was traumatic,” Rivera pointed out. “Maybe your amnesia is trauma-related.”

  “Remember the autopsy report?” Jonah asked. “The coroner said LeMere was unconscious before he hit the ground. I just don’t get that. We jumped together. He was feeling fine in the lineup, cracking jokes and saying he’d beat us all to the ground.”

  Rivera shrugged. “A sudden change in altitude could have made him black out.”

  Jonah clicked his tongue. “Hardly. We were at four thousand feet. He’d done a dozen high-altitude jumps without any issues.”

  “I don’t know.” Rivera sighed. “It’s just one of those things that will remain a mystery—at least until the next life.”

  The master chief’s reference to heaven made Jonah think about his newfound faith.

  “Here’s some irony for you,” he relayed. “For years you’ve talked to us about how important it is to talk to God and give Him control over our lives.”

  Rivera’s gaze sharpened with interest.

  “Well, I finally get that now. I can’t remember when I started talking to Him, but I know God’s the reason I survived captivity. I know it’s because of Him I made it home.”


  Rivera’s smile cut through the gloom. “I’m so happy to hear this,” he said with feeling. “Everything will be better now, wait and see.”

  Jonah thought about his failing marriage. “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.” He had to look away as pessimistic thoughts reclaimed him. On the horizon, sea and sky merged into darkness.

  “Eden says our marriage was a mistake,” he continued, unburdening himself. “She says she wants to separate when I get my memory back—or in twelve months’ time, whichever is sooner.” He glanced at Rivera for his reaction.

  The master chief’s smile had disappeared. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. Studying Jonah sidelong, he added, “I can see that’s not what you want.”

  “Hell, no,” he said with heat. “She’s all I’ve got right now—her and Miriam. I really like that kid,” he added, more to himself than to his friend. “I mean, I don’t blame Eden for being unhappy. You knew me, Santiago.” He looked at his master chief. “Was I really as much of a jackass as I think I was?”

  Rivera looked at him for a long moment. “Not at work,” he answered carefully. “Everyone in the squadron respects you. But, from what I saw, you could’ve given Eden more attention than you did.”

  Jonah cringed inwardly. “How did I treat Miriam?”

  Rivera thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. I never saw you two together much.”

  “Right.” With a groan that came from deep inside him, Jonah closed his eyes and rubbed his left temple where an ache tapped. Hearing Rivera corroborate what both Miriam and Eden had hinted at undermined his confidence completely. What if it was too late to win them back? What if some other man was in the picture? He looked back at his master chief.

  “You would tell me if you’d heard about Eden dating someone else this past year, wouldn’t you?”

  Rivera blinked. “Is that what you think happened?”

  The fact his master chief had answered a question with a question alerted Jonah.

  “You know something,” he guessed. “What do you know?”

  “Nothing,” Rivera soothed. “It’s nothing, I promise.”