They must have been. And James was out to get her yet again. Her eyes glazed in an instant. There she was, next to the one man who had the power to bring this whole plane down and her hopes along with it.
“I have one hour to get some sense into you, Zoey. All of this was never your fault but if there ever was one possibility to save the person you love, wouldn’t you take it? That’s why I got myself in this whole mess in the first place. And no, you shouldn’t blame yourself for it. I made that choice.”
She did look mad, every inch of her body tense. “James, I can’t… I can’t look at you the same as I did before!” Trying to keep her voice down was challenging, especially when her hands were shaking out of control. Cold sweat covered her clenched fingers, so she slid her hands under her thighs and stiffened at the sound of his voice.
It was almost too calm.
“And I’m not asking you to. I’m here to prove it to you. I’ve been your shadow since they restored your timeline. Lilou did send that note; I was with you when you quit your job.”
“With me?! In Principal Arlington’s office?” she suddenly turned to meet his eyes. God, he was strange to look at—creepy and possessed but somehow still… him. His fingers dug at the base of his gray sweater and pulled to let some air in. Just like her, he never bothered removing his dark leather jacket. There was nothing menacing about his pose but then again, James had the power to undo everything without breaking a sweat.
“Hard to recognize me when I look like dust. I’ll tell you everything if you just listen! It’s called atomic dispersion—I can break my body down and restore it, Zoey, that’s how I allowed them to think they had terminated me on Opt and that’s how I made my way back to you. When they dispatched the new ambassador over here, I had to keep an eye on him and that’s how I got us that apartment.”
“Everything was a lie.” She cupped her mouth, unable to word anything else. Taking in her surroundings in a quick glance, she felt that rift in her chest deepening by the second.
He’d turned Jasper to dust too.
James was more than aware of her startled breath, clenching his fingers with a tremor of his own. “I made mistakes.” The words rushed out of his mouth. “The Alliance was never meant to find out, so I had to turn myself in. Things got out of hand when the new ambassador found you, but Beck had an idea: if we kidnapped Sam, we had a chance to get them all together at the lab and finish them off.”
They locked eyes for a brief moment. “You were going to murder them?!” Shock didn’t quite cover it. Why did it still come as a surprise?
“You see murder, I see doing what it takes to save you and Beck sees doing what it takes to save your planet. The Alliance would have retrieved their team from Earth, I told you that!” He let out an exasperated breath. “Without shielding, your planet’s first pressing concern are the NEOs—Near Earth Objects. Just in the past year we’ve vaporized six. By the time they reached your atmosphere they’d turned to dust. Four of these NEOs would’ve been fatal to Earth in a collision.” There was an intimidating side to James when he got serious. It was like all his body stilled, except for his lips and eyes. “Your precious optans lied to all of you at the lab. Earth was never going to be given a chance to become a righteous member, not when there’s a higher chance for it to be obliterated. They came here exclusively to clean up the mess!”
The words echoed heavily in Zoey’s ears. “What does that mean?”
“Zoey, I created the necessary soldiers to keep you alive. Trouble is, you’re all abominations in the eyes of the Alliance. Hybrids. They don’t know what to do with you. What’s clear to me is that if they haven’t terminated Rufus now that they got him, they’re not going to terminate you. Yet. They have no idea what to do now.”
Only when her face succumbed to her hands, she realized she was shaking. Why was all this happening? Why now?
“Why are you telling me all this? What’s in it for you?”
“I owe you the truth and this is it.” James trailed off in a familiar voice with those beautiful vowels rolling off the tongue. “I saw how the new ambassador looked at you; I saw how you looked at him… but you won’t listen to me, so you have to see it for yourself! And when you do, I’ll be here, luv. Because there’s not one thing I wouldn’t do for you, even if that means letting you go.” He leaned his head back and exhaled.
Shit. “James, if this is your idea of an apology…”
He turned to face her once more, pushing his body forward as if she struck a chord. “I’m not asking for forgiveness! I’d do it all over again. There’s nothing I wish more than having been born here, having met you like a regular guy at a Christmas party. I’d give anything to be your average Joe with a regular job, holding your hand right now!” There was a mad flicker in his eyes and it pierced right through her. “Don’t you understand?!” Something inside her still responded to the sound of his voice. “The universe didn’t want me to be that guy but I’ll be whoever it takes to save you, Zoey. And if after all is said and done with, if you want us to part ways, so be it!”
There was no trace of hesitation under that thick accent, only layers and layers of determination. She had to get to the bottom of this one way or another.
“What happened in Pamplona, James?” Zoey felt her parka getting tighter on her with growing discomfort.
“The Alliance happened. They thought they could outsmart me by overcharging the magnetic field to prevent portalling. They have no clue atomic dispersion is unaffected by it, so I managed to escape. They must have taken you guys in, restored your timelines and erased the memory of what happened.”
“You took precautions with me from the very beginning, didn’t you? Altering me so I’d remember everything?” He didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. But Zoey was not one to accept silence. “So?” She really looked at him this time. His hair was a little longer, curls covering the tips of his ears. That beautiful face bore signs of fatigue, though.
“No one should have control over your memories. Not me, not them.” He half smiled at himself, and for the first time since she’d seen him, James looked like he hadn’t been sleeping. “The Alliance set camp in Pamplona. They’ll be coming for me soon enough. Sending you the note was a dumb move, they wanted to see if I’d follow you, yet neither of them have boarded the plane. Now they have confirmation of how much you matter to me.”
Nothing made sense. There was too much of it she didn’t know and too much she was scared of actually finding out. “What’s your plan?”
“I’m safely delivering you to the lion’s den to make your own choices, to see who they are and what they really fight for.” A playful note adorned his tone this time around. He watched her little shoulders shrug as she took another sharp breath. “You’re smart, Zoey, two days should suffice.”
She found herself staring at him again. The quivering had ceased. “I’ll make my own choices in my own time. And then what?” Trying not to look scared as the words precipitated was a battle she’d already lost. It was even harder refraining from asking him everything about his… species but she just had to keep the ball in her court and ask the questions that mattered.
This was not the time or the place for James to hold Zoey’s hand. But he stared at her fingers as if he wanted to. It had been too long since he’d lost his fingers in her curls, since she looked at him like his very own Lois Lane. All the admiration in her gaze had dissipated, replaced by questions she refrained from voicing.
“Then I’ll get back to you and we’ll decide where to go from there. Together. I’ll never take another step without you.” His eyes carried the innocence of a child, the inquisitiveness of a teen and the wisdom of a senior. All in one. From the very first moment they’d met. Like he’d always been three steps ahead of the surprise factor. Even now, when the balance didn’t lean in his favor, James looked confident, and that’s exactly what she lacked. He was fine with the unknown and somehow, he
still had a hold on her.
Dammit. “Since you’re being so honest, mind telling me what happened to Rufus?”
James toyed with his wrists and glanced over his shoulder. “They have him now.” He casually brushed his fingers over his lips before he turned to her. “And Mia’s at the lab with Beck.” There was a certain edge in his voice. The vantage point. Even on this occasion the scale had to tilt his way.
Zoey’s eyes measured the slight tremor of his fingers. “Release her.” Watching his forehead crease, she couldn’t help but tense in her seat. Again. Nothing seemed easy this time around and he sure didn’t seem up to serve her every wish on a silver platter. “Please.” As if the magic word could make a difference to James.
He took his time resting his eyes on her fingers now squeezing the edge of her seat, nails carved in the leathery fabric. “You seem anxious, Zoey.” James leaned in his seat, staring at the seat in front of him and rubbing his fingers over his thumb. “What kind of a strategist would I be if I played my last card?”
“What if they ask? If you ever made contact, I mean?”
He smiled, catching a side glimpse of Zoey’s sweaty temples. “Oh they know we’ve been travel buddies and I certainly have nothing to hide. They just lack the means to get me since atomic dispersion is something they never had to deal with. They’re not prepared.”
The pilot made the announcement that they were getting ready for landing and it took less than a second for Zoey to add guilt to her list of swarming gut-wrenching feelings. The pressure shifted and her insides plummeted along with it.
She grabbed the armrest a little tighter, squeezing her eyes shut. James gave off an inaudible sigh and shook his head at the sight of her. This was a habit of hers he hadn’t managed to cure despite the many flights they were on. Takeoff and landing made her uneasy. And just like that, he placed his fingers over hers and wondered how fast she was going to retract them. She’d always grab onto him as the plane descended. He’d always smile to himself and plant a kiss on her forehead. Not today. Today she chose the armrest.
“And by the way, Sam and Emma will be joining you tomorrow. Spur of the moment, you didn’t want to ruin Valentine’s Day and got them both tickets to join you in Pamplona.”
Zoey’s heart jumped in her throat again. “You did what?!” Her eyes cracked open and air dissipated from her lungs. Shit! Shit! He was no longer there. But this was no trick of the brain, this had a name and now she knew it—atomic dispersion.
What was she going to tell Lilou? After the Optans had gone through so much trouble restoring their timelines, taking them back to square one. Another gulp of air and she felt this particular landing like a belt tightening over her whole body. The passengers were already squirming in their seats. Phones started buzzing. The bitter taste in her mouth made her steady the elbows on her legs and take her face in her hands, swallowing hard. For the millionth time in what was a thin line between today and yesterday.
The nauseating feeling in her stomach refused to settle, the longing she felt upon boarding this short flight replaced with everything dark and edgy. She found herself shivering as her eyes fixed on a distant point. James was there and then gone like a trick of the mind. It still smelled like him. Like sandalwood and leather.
One by one the passengers exited the plane somewhere between joyful rush and anticipation. Zoey forced her body up and grabbed her backpack from under the seat. She could’ve at least asked him if he had anything to do with all that money in her bank account. Even if he did, he’d probably still lie. God, was she tired of being on the receiving end of all the damn lies…
Following the rest of the passengers to retrieve her luggage was nearly a zombie walk on stiff legs. Holding the handle a little too tightly, she now emerged to a crowd of Erasmus teens hugging their parents, business travelers dodging happy huggers like the plague and finally, a tiny yet nuclear optan soldier rushing to her arms like an old friend. It felt like a lifetime since she’d seen Lilou and her electric blue eyes zeroing in on her. She was still a force to be reckoned with.
Zoey wouldn’t have described herself as tall, but cradling Lilou gave her somewhat of a Sasquatch grace. She heard her giggle under the pressure of her arms, holding on a little too tight.
“You can’t seem to get rid of us, can you?” Lilou chirped ever so casually. “Oh no, these are not reflex tears are they?” It was her under that white turtleneck and dark blue coveralls. Even her ponytail was in place.
Zoey wiped the tears away, still unable to produce words. She grabbed Lilou’s shoulders as if trying to reassure herself it was really her. “What?!” Trying to control the puffs and spasms her upper body was under took effort.
“Your limbic system is a big puss!” She quickly jumped by Zoey’s side and locked arms, hoping to get moving. “Did you know your body produces Leu-enkephalin when you cry emotional tears? It’s your body’s natural painkiller.” Of course this particular optan would acknowledge eye secretions from a scientist’s spectrum.
“I missed you! Please tell me Jasper is okay!” Zoey’s feet were still pinned to the floor. She wouldn’t move, not until she had some answers. “I have so many questions… Please!”
Lilou pursed her lips and took half a breath. “He’s in recovery. Like an induced coma while his bone and tissue are being restored. When Alex asked for backup, he asked for the full lab and the Alliance delivered without question. Can we walk while I fill you in?” She nudged Zoey and took the lead. “What do you remember?”
“Everything,” her eyes squeezed shut, “James was ripping him to shreds, I saw his shoulder evaporating into this… black dust. I saw parts of his jaw and face turn into nothing!” She felt a dull pain in her chest and exhaled. “I ran to him and next thing I know I woke up on my couch with Sam and Emma who somehow, found me unconscious in my building and had no idea this ever happened. We were back to Friday, exactly before I had met Jasper for the first time, and they didn’t remember a single thing!”
“I swear—the Timeline crew, they’re artists. Down to the last detail! It still blows my mind how they connect everything so that it makes sense.” Lilou’s eyes grew big. “But you didn’t forget…” she raised a frisky brow.
“Were you just going to disappear? I mean, if James… Etienne wasn’t involved?” It ate at her from the moment she woke up in her brand new scenario at the courtesy of this Timeline crew. Lilou’s hand went straight to her ponytail and seemed to adjust it while coming up with an answer. “I want the truth, Lilou. I’ve been nothing but honest with you from the very first second, and if I’m here it’s because I don’t expect any less in return. Last time I checked I was renting a place on a teacher wage and now I wake up to an apartment I supposedly own, and five digits in my account!”
“You don’t deserve any less.” Lilou cleared her throat and continued on a softer tone, facing her this time. “Look Zoey, we’re soldiers. We came here on a simple mission: retrieve the survivors and capture Beck. No one gives an explanation behind an order, it’s not like our superiors have an obligation to. We have the freedom to improvise on and off field but within limits. We knew the Alliance was going to pull out from shielding Earth because we’re needed basically everywhere else. You heard Etienne, there are not enough ambassadors as there are planets in imminent danger to attend to. The Alliance knew that. Etienne knew that.”
“Jasper knew that.” Zoey felt the heat rising to her cheeks. She bit her lip before she spoke her other thoughts.
“I know we didn’t tell you the whole truth. Does that change the outcome of Etienne’s actions? Killing over forty-two innocents, altering the others, kidnapping your friend, turning against his own, breaking the law?” Each new crime carried weight as Lilou lined them all up.
“No.” Her ears made a thumping noise. “I do understand you didn’t have the clearance to tell me.” They were already out into the parking lot, walking steadily toward a white cab. Lilou nodded to the driver and watched him with
steady eyes as he retrieved Zoey’s luggage and stuffed it in the trunk with a muffled noise.
“Scoot!” She nudged Zoey in, as she took a seat beside her, voicing something in Spanish to the driver. “But you’re angry. You think Jasper took advantage of you.” There was just no beating around the bush with Lilou, her blue eyes scanning every feature.
“I’m not a teenager. I understand his reasons, but that doesn’t hurt any less.”
“He put his life on the line. For you and for us. Look, I’m not going to say life’s been fair on you. It hasn’t. I’ve seen you fall apart, heck I kind of fell apart when I found Etienne was alive, so I can only imagine what you must be going through. You wake one day and everything you know to be true turns out to be bullshit.”
Every single word stung like a knife. “James was on the plane with me.” There, it was out. Silence fell like a heavy sheet as Lilou fiddled with the kalenium band on her wrist as Zoey remembered Jasper’s exact words ‘Kalenium acclimatizes to your body, creating a unique genetic print. It creates a bond with your DNA’. That’s how they tracked her every movement and that’s what the optans used for nearly everything—from communication to perfecting their enhancements.
“I know.” Lilou sucked in a sharp breath. “And if I’m still alive, picking you up from the airport it means he has a plan. He’s smart, Zoey. He got us all where he wanted to the first time around.” Lilou shrugged, her expression tainted with certain sadness. It was new to her face.
Zoey’s eyes went wide at the next thought she’d have to voice. “That’s not all. He sent Emma and Sam plane tickets on my behalf to come here. I didn’t know; I would’ve never allowed it.”
Surprisingly, this new piece of info didn’t upset Lilou. “Smart move. He’s making sure no one will harm you. Humans at the base means an extra safety measure. The Alliance will never harm a host. Not willingly.”
Found in Amber Page 2
