Jasper was quick to register his queue. “I’ll—I’ll walk Zoey to her room then.” He bolted up in a tense move. “After you.”
One hour ago that would’ve sounded like the most exciting thing since she’d set foot here. To say the least. This however, felt like a brand new walk of shame. She straightened her shoulders and tried a poker face as she walked toward the exit.
“Fourth floor.” Lilou’s high pitch pierced Zoey’s ears and, although she couldn’t hear Jasper’s footsteps, the smell of him was intoxicating enough to know he wasn’t far behind.
γ
They walked in silence to the capsule while Zoey counted every tile she stepped on. A busy mind wouldn’t leave room for all the questions she was trying to silence. Fifty-two tiles later, she stepped through first, moving to the farthest corner the unusual elevator had to offer and looking straight ahead as she spoke.
“We can brief while we reach my floor—”
But Jasper cut her short. “Not here.” As strikingly-beautiful as he was now, she found him slap-worthy. This was the same guy who nearly lost it back on Paseo Sarasate when he realized he couldn’t portal her out of the danger zone. She dared a peek at this new action figure looking a-hole. Funny how Rufus was suddenly back to his old loving self and Captain Hook took over Jasper’s persona. Despite the poor light, she was able to trace the outline of his face in an instant. Expressionless. When he should’ve been apologizing for all the lies knitted around that lack of clearance. He didn’t make any eye contact either, so when the elevator stopped, she stormed out on an angry foot. This floor was dead silent and the walls threw back the echo of their footsteps on the way to her room.
A sharp breath, a fingerprint on the scanner and she was in. She folded her arms across the chest hearing the door clicking shut. She drew in another breath and spun on her heels, their eyes locking in a silent stare.
Jasper stood perfectly still, scanning her as if trying to pinpoint the unknown. And then he spoke. “You will not talk to me outside of the training room, office or this room. I can’t even look at you, Zoey.” Tension coiled in her chest, raising to her throat like a lava wave as he shot forward and grabbed her elbow. “I need to know you understand this.”
This was just too much. She tried to yank her elbow from his grasp and spun around. He got a hold of her arm.
“Who are you?!” If the old Rufus was back in his shoes, this Jasper was totally foreign. “What’s the last thing you remember?” She asked, suddenly unsure if the induced coma had anything to do with this.
“You.” An unusual silence descended between them. She could only focus on the warmth of his fingers holding her arm. Heat rushed up her spine, her gaze instinctively drawn to him. His face though, completely unreadable.
“And before that?” She tried to squirm free but he was still holding on. He was so close, the smell of softener and rain burning her nostrils raw.
“Still you.” His breath got a little louder. She swallowed hard as she managed to pull free. There were too many words tangled in the space between her brain and her mouth, too many words that refused to leave her lips.
And this felt wrong, he felt off. Detaching from him though, felt wrong on a cellular level, as if the need to touch him overpowered anything else. Still, he stared back, amber eyed and conflicted. “Listen…” How the word escaped her lips was a mystery. Pressure clamped down her chest. “Do you remember what happened in Pamplona? You said you can’t even look at me—why is that? Are you…?” Ashamed? Feeling guilty? Repulsed? An asshole? She bit her lip, hoping he’d fill in the gaps. It was as if he knew her and he didn’t, his eyes searching her again as she faced him.
It all happened too fast. One second he was there, seemingly debating with himself and the next she felt his arms coming around her with a mind of their own. As if his senses had won the battle, he buried his head in her neck, his cheek warm against her skin.
Time froze. And she was there, unable to make herself breathe and caught between his chest and his arms as if this was supposed to make sense.
“I can’t look at you” his raw voice was reduced to a whisper “because I thought I’d never see you again and I was trying to make peace with it.” His fingers brushed the line of her jaw like a revelation—almost scared she’d vanish under his touch. “This thing with you… it’s pulling me under and I don’t want to control it anymore, but I need to.” Color infused Zoey’s cheeks as she lifted her head to meet his eyes. “It’s as much of a risk for you as it is for me.”
She was unsure what he meant and articulating something rational was out of her grasp at this point. He’d risk his position within the Alliance, his reputation and possibly working with his team. What would she risk if they supposedly couldn’t touch her? James had been clear enough—the hybrids were this great floating unknown the Alliance simply didn’t know how to handle.
He tugged her to his chest again, making thoughts evaporate. It was just Jasper now, the smell of him and the way she fit against his chest, in his arms, deafened the meaning of words. She felt his hands trailing on her back, pressing her closer against his chest both tender and feral, caring and desperate. And then his fingers slid down her sides, lifting her until her legs instinctively crossed around his waist as he lowered himself onto the bed. Whatever this was, the music of his accelerated breath was all she wanted to hear.
She traced her arms around the fabric of his uniform. Thousands of solid, cold scales grazed the tips of her fingers, a real contrast to the warmth of his cheeks, gliding on hers in perfect tune. And she welcomed this Jasper-induced trance more than the reality she’d been forcefully awaken to. As if time was on their side, his fingers traveled from her lower back to her ribs, pulling her tighter onto his lap. No words were spoken but his eyes locked on hers, doing all the talking, seeking consent, making sure she wanted this as much as he did.
She nodded, unable to make sense of whatever this was and watched his eyes linger on the redness of her wrists where she’d made contact with the fabric of his uniform. Supporting her with one arm, he touched a spot on his shoulder, making the top part of his attire retract into his belt. It dissipated, the scales folding into each other like vanishing dominoes. Then he looked at her, blushing and fazed from what she’d witnessed. Touching his bare skin brought back flutter after flutter. Tracing those perfect lines as if his body—the ultimate masterpiece was something she couldn’t snap out of. So her eyes just lingered there, on the curve of his shoulder that held no evidence of injury. The bright pink patch was entirely gone. They had to talk, but talking meant ruining this moment. She closed her eyes and wished to remain locked in this bliss a little longer.
There was nothing better than the feeling of having her wrapped around him like that, nestled between her thighs as if he belonged there, tangled in her freckles and the warmth of her breaths coming down on his lips. He pulled her closer, tracing his lips over her collarbone and sinking them in her neck. Closer, as his fingers spread at the back of her head, guiding her lips toward collision. He took her into his mouth as if she was the sanity he depended on. In the rush of sensation, the kiss deepened, accelerated. He wanted to feel all of her, maybe too much. She felt his thumb traveling from her ribs to the hollow of her neck, pushing, pulsing in waves of warmth she’d felt before.
This was one of those moments that transcended words and she already hated herself for having to break it. “There are things we need to talk about.”
“I know.” Letting go of her felt like a sin. She was his sin and words still failed to describe how the pressure changed when she was around. “But first, I need to get a few things straight.”
Zoey swung her legs over the edge of the bed and watched the sequins returning to complete the top of his uniform. “Okay…”
“I feel things for you. More than I want your body, I want your safety.” She smiled, still nauseated from before.
A rush swept over her as she attempted to steady her curls. “Huh.” Was the only thi
ng she managed to say.
That didn’t seem to blow his bubble. “I wanted the Alliance to restore your timeline. I still want you to have a normal life, to go back to your friends and teaching, to your moms… it’s not fair for you to be here. But at the same time, I’m selfishly glad things turned out this way.”
She got on two wobbly feet and pulled him up as well. She was too hyped, so she waited until his arms pulled her to his chest. “I have feelings for you too, Jasper. We need to make sense of this because I can’t take another round of hot and cold and have you pushing me out again.” His hand went from the base of her neck to her chin. He needed to look her in the eye for this.
“Do you trust me? Even though I kind of lied to you before?”
Her brows went up. “Kind of?”
“I lied to you. I’m sorry I did.”
“I want no more lies. You know who was all about lies?” He flinched. James shouldn’t have been part of the intimacy of his moment. Of any of their moments.
He took a sharp breath. “You still love him? I mean, if I go against my orders, the rules, the law and everything I stand for, I’d like to know.” His eyes widened.
Zoey rested her hands on her knees, grazing her fingers along his thumbs. “I don’t have a simple answer, but I can tell you the lies drowned the good love.” She shrugged. “It went south the moment he turned into this person I don’t recognize anymore. There’s too much damage done.” Jasper understood James broke the link the moment he took justice into his own hands, the moment he decided for the both of them. He also understood it was next to impossible not coming out of this relationship a little bit broken. “He was with me on my flight to Pamplona.” Jasper’s eyes widened. “He said he wanted me to come down here so I could convince myself whose side I should be on.” She filled him in with the rest of the story—from the surprise visit on the flight to her chat with Richard, watching him jump from thought to thought, analyzing angles like the ambassador he was.
“So James… Etienne knows about us.” Jasper’s fingers slid through hers. “He’s not going to make it public unless he can use it to his advantage. He still thinks you’ll go back to him.” And part of him feared that too. “The Chancellor should have never involved you in this.”
“I’m the best bait you guys have.” The small smile she pulled off didn’t seem to agree with Jasper. “But I can’t be okay knowing that I’ll have anything to do with his murder. I haven’t given a final answer, but I’m hoping your superiors are open to negotiate.” The dread in her voice was palpable but it was the Chancellor himself throwing ‘negotiation’ into the picture.
Jasper shook his head. Expecting a human to act and think like an optan was something the Chancellor should have thought long and hard about. “It all sounds fine on paper, considering they failed to terminate Etienne the first time around. If we brought him in now, we wouldn’t know what to do with him. He breaks matter apart, there’s nothing I know of that can contain him. We haven’t tested out all the possibilities, I don’t know if he can be put to sleep and kept in an induced coma until we figure it all out.” He sighed. “I just woke up to where I was four days ago.” And he probably needed briefing more than anyone else.
“I think we should head out and meet the others.” Zoey stretched out. Not even 6 p.m. and she was exhausted beyond belief.
γ
Sleep didn’t come for Mia, not even in her exhausted state could she get any shut-eye. When Etienne revealed himself as James, it became clear he’d do anything for Zoey. Just like Mia would for Rufus. The floor felt stiff against her back, so she rolled in her blanket. Every time she arched her fingers to open a portal, there was nothing on the other side. She threw her arms up and smashed them against the floor in a loud thump.
“Restless?” Etienne’s voice startled her. It was too dark to know where it was coming from, but his footsteps neared the cage at a steady pace. “I can’t sleep either.” A soft light came on and she realized it was a desk lamp. “I brought you a sandwich.” She saw it, wrapped in tinfoil and squeezed between the metal bars.
“Will you ever answer any of my questions?” Mia didn’t remove herself from the floor, but she pulled the blanket on her shoulders as she rolled in a sitting position. Etienne’s face looked tired, dark circles clouding the space under his eyes as he neared and lowered his body to the floor, taking a seat in front of her.
He let out a long sigh. “I have good news.” He said and pulled a cell phone from his pocket. “I’ll dial Zoey’s number and you can speak to Rufus, they’re with the Alliance, forty minutes away from here.”
Mia froze, at a loss for words. A sharp breath later, she turned to him with wary eyes. “Just like that? You’ll simply allow me to speak to him?” Even if this proved to be nothing more than a decoy, her pulse came alive, heart pumping heavily in her chest.
The things we do for love, he thought at the sight of her stunning blue eyes and pursed his lips together. It was obvious Mia would make a better soldier than he’d ever be. He almost cringed remembering what his hands had done to her, but he swallowed his guilt now as he did then. There were bigger issues at stake. “Nothing I’ll ever say to you is going to take back what I’ve done. I have treated you the way no life form should be treated.” He watched her tilting her head and scanning him. He deserved that incredulous look.
This is it. “I’m going to die tonight, am I right?”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” A soft smile crept up his lips and for an infinitesimal moment, there was a childlike quality in the way he looked at her. “I know I haven’t been fully honest with you Mia, and I admit my ways don’t make much sense to you right now, but I swear, the sooner we get this over with, you have my word you’ll be free.” He brushed his hair off his face in a tired move and filled in the missing blanks for Mia to be able to see the big picture, the picture where there would be no Earth for her to live on without further involvement.
She rested her chin on her knees, pulling her legs close. “You’re hoping Zoey will forgive you…” She could read the discomfort in his features, and before he changed his mind, she grabbed one of the bars and launched herself forward.
His flickering eyes met her halfway. “Ready?” Mia nodded and grabbed the phone with both hands. She was shaking, anxiety twisting in the pit of her stomach.
“Hello?” Zoey’s voice rang on the other end.
Mia squeezed the metal bar with her other hand. “Zoey… it’s Mia… I’m fine. Is Rufus there?”
The rush was palpable. Zoey handed the phone to Rufus with a shaking hand.
Somehow he could feel it; he knew. “Mia! Mia where are you?” His breath came out startled and edgy.
“I’m—I’m at the lab. Etienne said I could call you. I don’t think I have much time, but I’m okay and I love you. Is this—is this the real you?”
“Baby, it’s the real me—I swear, I don’t even remember seeing you. If I was an asshole, Mia—”
Tears stung her eyes and her voice cracked. “You weren’t. You’ve always been perfect.” Rufus squeezed his eyes shut. Listening to her breath was more than he could have asked for. The proof that she was alive opened up things in him like a chain reaction.
Etienne nodded. “Tell Rufus to put Zoey on the phone.”
He heard. “I’ll kill that bastard with my own hands!” Rufus spat in an angry rush and handed the phone to Zoey, holding it as if it stained his fingers.
The knot in Zoey’s throat tightened. “Hello?” She couldn’t help but stare into those four pairs of eyes pinned on her. Lilou though, never looked more alert. Rufus on the other hand had buried his face deep in his hands, his chest coming uneven under irregular breaths.
James pressed the phone to his ear in an intimate move. “You alright, luv?” For a split second, Zoey thought her legs would collapse. “Don’t talk. I just need you to know I thought about what you said and I’ll deliver Mia to you tomorrow. Unharmed.”
Zoey’s
features were eclipsed by relief, her brows bolting up in a dance of shock and surprise. Pressing her fingers to her lips, she sighed. “Thank you. This is the right thing, James.” In that one particular moment, he closed his eyes, knowing the exact curve her lips were set in, imagining the array of feelings flooding her chest. “Sit down, luv.” It blew her mind how he’d always known these things, as if he’d seen right through her from the start. There were no chairs in the training room, so she leaned against Rufus on the floor.
James lowered his head, trying to keep the intimacy of this moment to himself. “Happy Valentine’s Day, luv.” He hung up before she could say anything else.
On the other side of the bars, Mia stood gaping at him. “You’re releasing me?!” Of all the possible outcomes, this wasn’t on her list—heck, she would’ve had all her money on imminent death instead of this.
“I am. But I need you to do something for me first.” She bolted up as if the floor burned underneath. “I need you to take a leap of faith, Mia. Literally.”
γ
Raw silence fell on the training room with a heavy echo. Despite its size, it became suffocating for Rufus, who shifted his weight from one leg to the other.
He’d heard Etienne and his fingers curled into fists at his sides. “I don’t understand,” he spoke through his teeth “we know where their lab is, we know he’s holding Mia there! Why don’t we ambush the bastards and bring the house down?”
Jasper stiffened. “We need to be smart about this, Rufus. Etienne has the power to break all of us apart and I don’t say this lightly.” He paced toward Rufus and rested a hand on his shoulder. “There are humans inside, hybrids too.”
Rufus gave Jasper a blank look. “There’s Mia, the other altered guy and Beck! And I’d gladly send the bastard for a dirt nap!”
Lilou leaned against the doorframe and exhaled. “I think we all heard Etienne. Mia will be with us tomorrow.”
“Can’t you fucking see?” Rufus broke. “It’s like we’re all waiting on him to strike and see what pieces we can pick up afterwards!” It made his stomach roil.
Found in Amber Page 6
