Becoming aware of what her new self could actually do felt half terrifying, yet there was no regret in frying that optan soldier senseless to protect Emma.
Her thunder then hadn’t been strong enough to kill, but according to James, today she walked on a different ground. For the first three days of training, energy left her hands in random outbursts, much like a loose hose. Thankfully, James instructed everyone to leave and no one got hurt. Some of the hedges, however didn’t survive the buzz and were now burned to a crisp as a solid reminder that no matter the texture, flesh, or fabric, one shot was enough for a sizzling aftermath.
Zoey felt Emma’s protective arm draping over her shoulders. She was nervous. Nervous that James finally felt confident enough to have guests for this particular training session. Nervous that for the first time in eight straight days, Jasper’s eyes locked on hers over breakfast and knowing he was now walking not far behind, twisted her stomach in all sorts of knots. Being so close, yet so far, fighting the urge to turn around and run to him and bury her face in his perfect neck, surrounding herself with the smell of him. She bit her lip instead.
For the last eight days, she slept with Sam and Emma, keeping conversations about Jasper down to a non-descriptive and very casual minimum. James couldn’t be trusted and she couldn’t afford bringing the world down on everyone’s plans. Atomic dispersion meant he could reduce himself to dust and listen in to all possible conversations, watch her when she showered or even kill Jasper in his sleep. A part of her still somehow trusted him, but not around Jasper.
Even Emma caught a glimpse of her unsteady chest moving under uneven breaths. “Cool down, I can read it all over your face.” This had to be terrible for Zoey, so she did her best to keep her voice down to a whisper. “We’ll think of something, I promise.”
But James was quick to interrupt. “Alright luv, you ready?” It was time for her to put on a show; a friendly smile, a confident glow to fake everything happening on the inside. Jasper and Emma were instructed to stay behind.
Zoey stiffened, feeling James’s arms coming around her shoulders as he swiftly turned her around to face the audience. Her gray cardigan matched her jeans and fell softly at her sides, revealing the white shirt underneath. Now that James was behind her, she dared a peek at Jasper and allowed the desperate longing to show. She was shouting on the inside, and so was he, although he didn’t wince. His eyes too briefly locked on hers before jumping back to Etienne.
“Extend your arms for me luv,” James instructed on a casual tone as he aligned his frame with hers from behind. She swallowed hard, feeling the warmth radiating off his body. He’d practically glued himself to her from behind. “An optan would feel the power source opening up here—” Jasper watched Etienne’s fingers curling around her waist and lingering a little too long. If that alone had been unsettling, his hand was now slowly conquering her ribcage, sliding between her breasts until it came to an abrupt stop in the space above her chest “in the infraclavicular area leading to the sternum.” His fingers traced a line and tapped mischievously. “Our source warms up and is ready to use almost automatically.” With her arms still extended, Zoey tried not to move, feeling James’s every breath in her ear. She suddenly turned rigid. “The hybrids’ source is here” his fingers descended along her shirt following the line of her breasts again and stopping right below “—between the very end of the breastbone and the epigastric area.” Etienne narrowed his eyes, looking straight at Jasper. “Now in their case, they have to feel their source and let it power up a few good seconds before making use of it—too soon and the energy deriving from Zoey would be enough to cause some harm, but only exhaust the core.” This only confirmed her suspicions about the day they were ambushed. Every time she tried to fire, the energy faded in intensity.
Jasper’s blood nearly sizzled. He wanted to rip Etienne’s hands off Zoey, but contained the rage. That’s what Etienne wanted, a power play and this, this had been an invitation to a game he didn’t wish to play. “Can we see her at work?” He asked, folding his arms across the chest.
Emma watched James’s hands lower to Zoey’s hips as he spun her around. They were now face to face, and the most innocent of smiles pulled at his lips. “Let’s show them how it’s done.” He pulled some paper napkins out of the pocket of his jeans and placed them in three strategic spots before he scurried past her and came shoulder to shoulder with Emma.
She watched him with the corner of her eye “I admire your work James, would’ve been nice if Zoey agreed to her enhancement first, but it’s comforting to know you’re on our side on this one.” Emma’s words even took Jasper by surprise.
“It’s equally comforting to know at least one of you doesn’t see me as the antichrist.” He smiled tentatively. “Hit it, Zoey.” Her shoulders moved under a deep breath as she stretched her arms in anticipation. What followed was a steady bright light forming between her fingers as she aimed for the designated spot and hit the first napkin. And the second. She missed the third by a fraction, lighting only a corner. “That’s okay, luv. You did great.” She didn’t quit though, and two attempts later, she hit the spot with the precision of a sniper.
“That’s really impressive, Zoey.” Emma’s voice echoed before she turned to James. “I really want to make myself useful around here and since everyone has something to do but me, I figured you and I could have a little chat. I used to help Alex when he was around.”
Etienne slewed his eyes over to her. “I think that can be arranged. I’m sorry to hear about Frank, never got a chance to tell you.” Then his glance switched back to Zoey.
The way he looked at her, both desperate and hopeful, selfishly made Emma despise him a little less. “Thank you.” She pursed her lips in a thin line and allowed her memories to take over. When she met James for the very first time at a wine tasting event, a playful glow danced in his eyes all evening. And it wasn’t the wine or the merry good time they were having. He’d been going out with Zoey for only two weeks, but the way they looked at each other left no room for doubt.
Even Frank who was quick to test his knowledge on insurance, the stock market and holiday trends between fancy grape juice and cheese, said he was a keeper. Either he meant it, or he was desperate to add some testosterone to the happy hour group, but for two years he wouldn’t book a room without running it by James first. Sam however, said she couldn’t trust someone who pronounced the word ‘privacy’ like a venereal disease. To his face. Yet that didn’t discourage James in the slightest. By the end of the evening it was Sam asking him ‘more tea, vicar?’ and the memory brought Emma a forgotten sense of comfort.
“Shall we?” James’s voice snapped her back to the present. “I trust you can find your way to the terrace while I have a chat with Emma?” Zoey nodded, watching Jasper stiffen as the two slowly made their way out of Zoey’s playground.
The second James and Emma were out of sight, Zoey ran to Jasper as if her life depended on it, cornering him in a hidden spot between hedges. “We don’t have much time!” Eight full days had passed since her fingers ached for his skin and seeing the way he held her back, it was mutual. She didn’t even care her face was pressed hard against the rough fabric of his uniform. It felt like sandblasted concrete against her cheek, but she couldn’t have cared less as long as it smelled like him. “Emma did this on purpose, so we’d have some time together.” She whispered as she detached to look at him and not one cell in her body ceased to react.
Just having him this close was more than enough.
There was an almost imperceptible pause as Jasper gathered himself. “I’m finding it hard to know he’s around you so much, Zoey. You don’t owe him anything. How are you holding up?” She lifted her glance to meet his eyes as his thumb brushed her cheek. “Alex will be back tomorrow with Mezin and Leiki and we’ll most likely go to on that surprise visit to the Chancellor. Etienne will insist on bringing you along for him to see you’re not with us against your will. I need you to refuse.
” Jasper’s tone carried a warning that made the hollow feeling in her stomach grow. She found the whole situation mind-blowing. For eight whole days she hadn’t even looked at him and this was somehow the first thing he’d thought appropriate to start with. When they were practically counting seconds.
“We’re in this together, remember? You need to start trusting me at some point.”
“It’s not you I don’t trust. There are too many variables, too much exposure to unknown factors. Etienne’s not playing smart wanting to bring you along. He’s simply trying to show you he trusts you enough to be a soldier and ignoring all the other angles we can’t possibly control!” Why was he still stuck on that?
“And he’s doing a much better job than you are, to be honest.” She snapped, jerking away.
Two very different beings resided in Jasper—the most angel-like being she’d ever seen, both feral and tender and good to his core and beyond, and the pig-headed, unbending mule who somehow, and after all they’ve been through, still seemed to regard her as a bit less. Zoey was certain, although he’d never admit it. And not being perfect equals was fine, but not respecting her choices was an entirely different thing. “No one is going to make decisions for me from now on. Not you, not James. I’m a perfectly rational, intelligent life form capable of carrying my own weight.” Curiously enough, there was no shyness in her tone, no half measure or trace of sweetness. Former Zoey would have chosen more considerate words. She would’ve been nicer. But this Zoey had the spark.
Jasper smiled, folding his arms across his chest and propped his back against the sturdy hedge. “Because now you can torch napkins?” He sneered with perfect pointy canines. “Those words are going to come back and bite you in the ass.”
She crossed her arms over her chest as well. “Promise?” Her eyes narrowed, provokingly. If he could mock, so could she. Somehow, a wave of blue swallowed him whole as he disappeared in the hedge, leaving her startled.
He resurfaced underneath her, throwing Zoey over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, her curls dangling sideways as she uselessly tried to set herself free. “Or better yet, you can bite my ass now that you’re all leveled up.” Jasper chuckled, seizing her legs with both arms. She wasn’t going to shy out of this one, her arms grabbing at his waist as she pulled herself closer and sank pointy teeth in. “I suppose it’s a bit too late to tell you this uniform is also bite proof, groupie.” He snorted, smacking her butt like a good ol’ drum.
In a swift move, he shifted Zoey’s body, pulling her torso to align with his as she slid on his chest. Much to Jasper’s surprise, her legs crossed around his waist instead of landing on the ground. Somehow, his first thought was that she was going to headbutt him, but he still took his chances, parting her lips with the trace of a thumb. Zoey’s legs then slid over his hips and regained balance as they came toe to toe. Her arms though, found home around his neck and refused to leave.
He drove her crazy. Crazy enough to make her want to melt into every inch of his skin with every second he was making her wait, wasting the time they didn’t have, looking at her as if he wanted to imprint the outline of her face to memory, desperate for the same reason she was. Time was running out. James could come back any minute. He could ditch Emma and turn to dust carried by the wind to every pigeonhole, to every crack in every hedge they couldn’t hide in. If he heard her quitting her job when he was in a state of dust, he wouldn’t have the faintest issue seeing her now, out of breath, with a shrinking heart, draped around Jasper like this.
And then her thoughts were silenced.
There was so much need in the way he kissed her now, in the way he thrust his fingers in her hair and pulled her in. She closed her eyes and felt it all, his breath getting deeper and irregular, the smell of jasmine and whistling of the wind through the trees, the taste of him so intense and intimate.
Jasper didn’t feel like letting go, not after eight full days of wanting her like this. Not when her lips carried that addictive boldness. “We’re being careless,” he whispered against her mouth and nearly wanted to punch himself for saying it. But she knew it all too well and there was nothing steady in the rhythm of her chest.
“Let’s, um… let’s get back to the terrace.” She unglued herself from his arms and it took all the effort to turn her back to him and head toward the house.
Jasper followed close behind, trying to shake off the feel of her. It was like every time she got close, his blood ran a bit faster and time was what they never had enough of. It slipped through the cracks, leaving them both with little crumbs of hope, little moments with each other. Wishing they could have more felt selfish, and Jasper reminded himself how different their priorities looked. Moreover, her curls defiantly swayed as she paced through the grass and he cussed in his thoughts. He should have held her more, showed her more when he had the chance.
When the stone terrace came into view, a thick fog lingered around the hedges and flowers, and Zoey only became aware if it now, when more of the landscape emerged ahead. It was as if some weird force of nature pulled the clouds down over the near-London gardens, like a puffy, creepy blanket of white. The air got chilly and it suddenly felt like February again.
It was almost violently beautiful, how the flowers surfaced the white mist and the statues emerged like frozen silhouettes of the past. The mix of bright green and infinite fog. Sam’s voice, then Lilou’s broke the silence and although she couldn’t yet make out the words, Zoey knew this beautiful trick of the mind wasn’t going to last forever. Especially since she spotted Emma and James not too far ahead, on the same stony path.
“Are you okay?” Jasper’s voice came from behind. He watched her come to a halt and throw him a glance over her shoulder. There were too many things she wanted to tell him now, when every fiber in her body pulled her to him and she had to fight the impulse. When James was getting close and a weird sort of yearning tangled her insides in pointy little knots. Time slipped through her fingers.
If anything, he’d never looked more beautiful, despite the restlessness his eyes carried. Lowering her eyelashes before she spoke, her voice descended to an inaudible breath. “I love you.”
For a second there, Jasper seemed pinned in place by an invisible force, as if her words had shattered something in him and he was left collecting the pieces. “And I, you.” There was an equal amount of shock to his truth and this time around, it was he who forgot to breathe.
γ
“Thank you.” Zoey leaned against her bedroom door and pushed it shut. Sam and Emma were curled up on the bed with their feet under, munching on some chips. As much as Zoey dreaded crumbs in bed, she’d let Emma roast the Easter Bunny if need be. Especially after today.
Sam was quick to hide the chips behind her back. “Is she being ironic?” Everyone was well aware of Zoey’s food in bed policy, so euphoric cheeks was not what she particularly expected to receive while being caught in the act. Even if the act meant nibbling on innocent chips. Emma though, looked like she was in on the truth behind Zoey’s apparent state of glee. With a secretive smile she patted the bed and Zoey jumped next to her like an eager teen. “Can anybody shed some light why my head is still attached to my body? You’ve obviously seen the chips… haven’t you?” In which case, fuck you Sam for ratting yourself out.
“Eat your darn chips before I change my mind!” Zoey muffled a guilty smile and snatched the bag of chips from Sam, her face a priceless Picasso. “Okay, James is now in full strategy mode with Jasper and Lilou, so we can talk.” The two leaned closer. “Long story short, Emma took James for a walk earlier today and I was finally able to see Jasper.” Hence the eerie glow and batting eyelashes.
“You mean eat his face.” Sam peered at Zoey, narrowing her eyes and tilting her head like the Aunt Edna who knew it all. Over these eight days, Sam had to bite her tongue and swallow all her smartass remarks since James could travel like dust in the wind and hadn’t hesitated in making himself known as the sharpest knife on the butche
r's block. “Say it: I, Zoey Mills, the proud vegetarian, had to get my protein intake by sucking face—” and the cushion hit her visage before another calamity escaped that foul mouth. Emma buried her face in her hands. She nearly became an expert at suppressing the kind of giggles that might have attracted unwanted attention.
“What did you talk about? With James I mean.” Zoey pulled the knees to her chest, knowing Emma would be quick to indulge her. After all, they both shared the desire to have their fingers in all the imaginable pies.
“I need something to do, Zoey.” She folded her arms across her orange sweater and sighed. Of course the main purpose of her conversation with James had been to give Zoey and Jasper some alone time, but killing two birds with one stone was one of Emma’s built in features and Zoey knew that well. “Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll just lose it, so either I keep myself busy or I overanalyze everything and get worked up over things I can’t control. I need James to give me something to keep busy, to contribute somehow. Sam’s working with Rufus and Jasper, Lilou’s got her hands full with Mia and I’m here watching paint dry.”
It wasn’t hard for Zoey to put one and two together. Emma was used to being incredibly active, contributing, getting good deals for her clients. This was a vacation somewhere on hold till someone else figured out how to get to them first. Feeling powerless, like a clueless bystander waiting for something to happen wasn’t the natural state of Emma.
Zoey leaned in and whispered. “Jasper says Alex will be back either today or tomorrow and we’ll pay the former Chancellor a visit. So you can work with Alex again, and monitor us since we’ve got the new implants and everything. We all need you Emma. I just think we’re all a bit unsure of what we can do and what we’ll find on Opt.”
Found in Amber Page 17
