Maybe if she’d lie here quiet enough, death would come swallow her whole. If she just wished it strong enough for long enough. If she just closed her eyes…
It was her phone snapping her awake next, the buzzing coming on to her like a hammer. With her outstretched hand she felt for her phone on the nightstand, just until she’d reached it.
St Andrew’s. “Hello?” she pressed the phone against her ear and secretly wished they’d hung up.
“Principal Tuppence Arlington speaking—Zoey?” Zoey’s eyes widened, unsure where to go next. “Now I know I told you I’d send all the paperwork by email, but you’ll need to come down and sign a few papers if you’re still in town.”
“Um…” her voice came raw. “I—I won’t be going anywhere Principal Arlington. Not anymore.”
Tuppence Arlington paused, sensing the strain in her voice. “I want you to listen to me very carefully, Zoey. No man is ever irreplaceable. Get yourself a cat or two and let bygones be bygones.” She couldn’t help but flush, swallowing her thoughts like a cannonball. “I’m assuming you’re going through something, so I’ll give you the rest of the week off and I’ll see you back on Monday morning. Understood?”
Words practically dragged. “Thank you ma’am.” Her eyes glazed again. At least she knew it was Monday. Monday, February 12th. The day she quit her job to go after Jasper. How long had she already been stuck in this forsaken month? Principal Arlington never bothered with greetings and hung up just as quick as she’d called.
Before Zoey had a chance at taking another breath, her phone buzzed again and she couldn’t stop staring at the name flashing on her screen—Sam. Oblivious Sam who was probably calling to say she’d ordered an offensive piñata for Valentine’s Day. Sam who no longer had a clue what they’d been through. Zoey found herself unable to shake off the horrible feeling unraveling in her stomach.
Jasper. Nothing would ever make sense without him.
Her phone buzzed again and this time around, it was Emma. She pushed it to the side, ignoring the sob rising in her throat and clenching that pillow to her chest. When she closed her eyes again, she hoped she’d never wake up.
A poke startled her awake next and it wasn’t one, but four pairs of eyes and heads tilting in weird ways.
“Mia?” Zoey mumbled against the pillow. It was Mia. Unless she was hallucinating. And Rufus and Sam and Emma. “How…?” she lifted her pounding head enough to trace the outline of their faces. Sure Emma had a spare key, but…
Emma crouched till she was eye level with Zoey. “We’re okay.” She looked like her old self, in skirts and heels and proper makeup. “I woke up at my apartment, Sam over at hers—”
“You mean you remember?!” Zoey scrambled in the sheets, willing her brain to understand. “What—how?”
Rufus took a seat on the edge of the bed. “We all remember, not sure why though. Mia’s scars are all gone as well.” It took one look for Zoey to verify Rufus was indeed, telling the truth. The thick scar on Mia’s neck was gone. “They even got us our own apartment for our troubles.” Rufus wiggled his eyebrows as if that was supposed to make sense. “Downtown no less. We found our names on a bunch of properties on the table, bank accounts, they’ve got us set.” How could he be this… giddy?
“All set for what?!” Zoey spat, still shocked and teary.
It was Sam who spoke this time. “I’m pretty sure this means Earth’s got immunity. We’re free, Zoey. Why release us otherwise? Why bother to heal Mia?” her hand came down on Zoey’s wrist and squeezed. “I’m pretty sure Jasper’s going to get here any moment, so you might want to take care of… that.” She shimmied her index finger, zeroing on Zoey’s crumpled… everything.
Her body stilled, just as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed. “He won’t.” Her toes met the floor in their dizzy descent, steadying her body as she got on two feet, serious and stiff. She pushed the bedroom door open, leaving four open mouths behind. “Coffee?” And the wood cracked beneath her feet on the way to the kitchen.
Emma frowned, lumbering close behind. “Zoey, honey, is there anything we should know?” That frown grew deeper. “The last thing we all remember is you being called to testify again. Did anything happen?”
The clock on the microwave read 9:22 a.m. She automatically wondered what that translated into in June, her brain then switching to autopilot as she scooped the coffee and filled the water tank. And then she watched the coffee maker drip, hypnotized by every plump drop and oblivious to the crowd awaiting an answer.
Sam and Mia exchanged a baffled glance, communicating through a dance of lashes and eyebrows. “Zoey?” Even her name sounded foreign as Rufus had said it.
“You heard his mother, Rufus” Zoey finally said in an edgy voice. “Jasper was born to make a difference in the world, and that’s exactly what he’s doing. We both agreed—”
“Bullshit!” A throaty noise followed. “He would’ve brought the world down for you! He may not be the world’s greatest talker, but he talked to me. Briefly. He loves you, Zoey. He’s never loved anyone the way that he loves you. Are you trying to tell me that—”
“Yes.” She turned on her heels and faced the audience. They didn’t know how it felt living with the guilt of having killed her chance at happily ever after. Nor its twin, the future of the universe. Or their cousin, the lack of ambassadors. She told them though, her tone a little too calm, as if she were in a sort of trance.
Sam’s eyes fluttered shut. Alex. She was never going to see him again. Nor Lilou. It strained her chest and left her feeling smaller with every detail Zoey added. They were all supposed to be having strawberry ice cream right now, celebrating victory in June. This felt nothing like it. It felt… incomplete.
Gathered around the small breakfast bar, they all held their coffees with both hands and mourned, each in their own way.
“Have you called your families?” Sam turned to Mia, pursing her lips in thought.
“That fucking Timeline crew, man” Rufus started “I cried when I heard gran’s voice and she was like ‘you just called twenty minutes ago, did you break the internet’? It’s like not a goddamned day has passed and I haven’t seen her in months!” He was still building up the courage.
“Same here.” Mia confirmed, still bewildered. “I woke up with my old phone, texts from friends and Mom saying we haven’t properly celebrated my birthday. I also graduated! I graduated and didn’t even know it.” She’d spent half of yesterday touching her mother’s face like the world’s biggest maniac and trying to suppress the tears and her body’s whole reaction to it all. She’d grabbed Rufus’s hand and swallowed all her fears as she rang that doorbell. As if she’d never left, as if she’d never been kidnapped and altered, her mother opened and welcomed her with a hug. She just stood there, feeling like a stranger on her own doorstep and squeezing Rufus’s wrist purple.
Emma smiled, burying her nose in the mug. No one could break Mia and Sam’s eyes glistened with the same thought.
“Do you guys still have your mojos?” She asked, glancing directly at Mia and watched her immediately curling her fingers in response. She hopped off the chair and Emma’s ears popped. “Yup. Immunity.” She raised her mug proud. There was no other option. There couldn’t be.
“Nice rings.” Zoey’s eyes lingered on George’s classy hobby. Rufus and Mia both wore the matching light green metal bands. Everything took her back right now.
“They were two in one actually, they take the shape of your finger too.” The way he said it though, ended in a sigh with Jasper’s name on it. “Speaking of, Sam,” he tried again on a brighter note “What are the chances of Mia and I getting married tomorrow?”
“On Valentine’s Day?!” Sam’s eyes tripled in size.
“Wait.” Zoey shook her head. “What day is today?”
“It’s Tuesday, you’ve been out for a whole day, sister! Emma and I were trying to reach you like crazy.” She then turned to Mia. “But that gives us no time to
organize your bachelorette party, the favors, the dress!” The panic.
“We want something symbolic, even if we can’t find an officiant on such short notice.” Mia insisted. It was Rufus’s idea and she was bound to make it happen. “And we don’t need the full combo and frills, just a small dinner party with everyone who matters and you three as bridesmaids.”
Maybe it was rushed and judging by Zoey’s face, a little too soon for comfort, so Rufus felt compelled to add “I mean, if everyone’s on board. We wouldn’t have it otherwise.” He instinctively reached to fondle with his beard, seeking approval.
“That would be perfect.” Zoey forced a decent smile. She was happy for them but happy found it hard to resurface from the tendrils of everything else going on. “I have the whole week off from school, so we can get started on the preps whenever you like.”
“Same here,” Emma announced, slewing her eyes to Sam who was fidgeting like a dog with two tails. They’d taken the week off for Valentine’s Day right before this madness blew up, right before Pamplona proved to be anything but a fun destination for the date. “Okay.” She steepled her fingers like she did when she had it all under control. “I’ll be able to rush that marriage license if you apply right now.” Then her eyes fell on Sam. “Venue?”
It was all it took for Sam to make a lavish display of grin. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Her brows shot up and somehow, pulled her along. “So The D.C.’s been renovating the upstairs into a perfect event room, there’s a dome and everything.” She came up behind Rufus and squeezed his shoulders. “It’s not 100% ready yet, but we can cover the sloppy with flowers like they do at every wedding.”
“Isn’t that place crazy expensive?” Mia raised a worried brow. “Can you pull it off?”
“Sister, I’m partner, I can pull anything off!” And a proud one too. “My dad can officiate; he got his license last year. How many guests?”
Mia widened her eyes. Wow. This was happening right under her nose and she hadn’t even thought of the details. “Apart from you guys? Just five on my side.” Apart from her mother and her aunt’s family, there was no one particularly indispensable.
“Just my gran. She might bring a plus one though.” Rufus lay a hand atop Sam’s. “Thanks, guys. I mean…” words failed him. Everything did—the fact that he was holding Mia’s hand in a room that he could walk in and out of unrestrained, that he was forced into this mess alone, and now he felt anything but. It didn’t feel rushed for him; too much time had been taken away from them both. Not sprinting toward the opportunity felt wrong.
It wasn’t long till Emma rushed the soon-to-be-wed out the door to apply for that marriage license. She’d grabbed her big purse and closed the door behind Zoey and Sam with a smile.
“She’s over Frank, you know. Finally.” Sam busied pouring herself another coffee. “This morning when I asked her, she said she’s ready to discover life on her own, that she wants to.” She hopped on the stool, pulling herself over to Zoey until they were face to face.
Zoey had propped her elbows on the table and supported her head with both hands. “Good on her.” Emma deserved all the peace she could get. “What are we doing about Mia’s wedding dress?” Getting a wedding done in one day seemed hard to pull off. Even with Sam in up to her elbows. She was already texting ever since Emma set foot out the door and her phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.
“Italian Ratatouille for you, yeah?” She lifted her head from her phone only to watch Zoey nod. “I mean, I figured we don’t have much time so Mia can go pick a dress with Emma, you can help Rufus find a suit and I’ll be bullying the florist. He owes me more than one.” Planning events had become second nature for Sam. “Swing quartet or gypsy jazz?”
“Swing.” It was getting hard to breathe. “What else?” She knew too well Sam wasn’t buying her ‘I’m fine’ act. She also knew Sam was not about to give her any crap for it either. In that long hour, she’d seen Sam’s assertiveness reach a peak. She could be really intimidating when she wanted to.
“I just texted Mia with bouquet options.” Sam confirmed. “She says whatever we like in terms of bridesmaids dresses.” Her phone buzzed again and this time, the corner of her lips pulled up in an endearing move. “Dad’s on board. And Rufus says he’s already waiting for you downstairs. I got your spare key from Emma, so I’m good.” She said it all in one breath.
γ
Sam moved faster than the speed of light. Before Zoey’s elevator reached downstairs, she’d already sent her no less than five locations to find Rufus a suit. Zoey on the other hand, hadn’t even bothered checking herself out in the mirror. She’d only brushed her teeth and splattered some water over her face before heading out. The red tartan dress and matching vans stayed on like a bad reminder. It was a miracle she remembered how to drive in the first place, but Rufus had been too hyped to notice.
“So this is it huh?” He said pushing open the door of the first store exclusively dedicated to grooms. “I don’t wanna half-ass anything, so just be honest with me!” She couldn’t help but smile seeing how his fingers twitched and he was all jittery.
“Always.” Apparently, Judy hadn’t been the only one to think they were siblings, so when the gentleman sizing Rufus made his comment, she just smiled and tried to push Jasper’s mom out of her head. Rufus looked happy, handsome and nervous as he fiddled around looking for a cut to match his high spirits.
“I do like the green ones.” He beamed at Zoey’s choice and inspected the detail on the sleeve. “I think I’ll try this one on too.” Said and done, and soon enough, Zoey found herself carrying a mountainload of suits to the changing room.
She’d never seen him so happy, yet something at the back of his eyes mirrored her own sadness. She squeezed the suits to her chest as she awaited him to change and wondered why this emptiness she felt couldn’t be eclipsed by everything else. Even this happy, blissful music sounded like nails pounding into her eardrums. She took a deep breath, trying to return to her skin and focus on something else for a change. Like these walls, pale gray and adorned with pictures of perfect, happy couples. I can’t even—but her thoughts were silenced.
“Hey.” Time stilled at the sound of his voice, and for that quick moment, she thought she was tripping. Her whole body tensed, all air caught at her throat as if she was somehow afraid to breathe. “Let me try again,” the same voice echoed as he cleared his throat. “Hey.” She swallowed another cannonball and slowly turned to her right.
Her mouth couldn’t produce any words, so she just stared, delirious and wide eyed at the evidence of him. Jasper—in all his perfect angles and a silver waistcoat. Jasper, whose hair tumbled in waves, brushing his shoulders. Jasper, who now stared back at her as if checking for brain damage. At a loss for words, she focused on the sounds coming from inside the changing room. As if speaking might have made him vanish. It felt like sleepwalking, walking the line of two worlds, unsure which one was real and which one was not.
So he tried again. “Zoey, I’m going to reach for you now,” Jasper announced, taking a step in her direction. He was real, and his fingers trailed along the line of her arms, the curve of her shoulder until he gently tugged her to his chest.
The suits she was holding fell lifeless at her feet.
“I’m here to stay.” He spoke under a quick breath. “We got immunity and they approved us moving here for surveillance. They could’ve decided to send me anywhere where I’d be doing the exact same thing so, unless you were meant for greater things than loving me, I’m here to stay. With you.” There was a new angle to his voice, something she couldn’t put her finger on. “Say something.”
“Your parents…” She dared.
“Three times a year and you get to join. We have to mount a station here and the Alliance would like you guys to drop in at some point for a little case study. Under my watch.”
“Ta-da!” Just then, Rufus pulled the curtain to reveal all his glory in a forest green tux. “Well, I’l
l be damned! I knew it!” he cupped his mouth, suppressing that awestruck grin.
“Time doesn't love you anymore
But I'm still knocking at your door
Honey, we can run forever
If forever's what's in store
Oh, time to take me home”
Mikky Ekko—Time
It was 6 p.m. when Mia’s world came to a halt under swing accords. She held on to her mother’s arm, stepping a little too fast on the lavender aisle runner. Dim lit string lights and flowers ran throughout the dome exactly like Sam had said “in a romantic, yet calculated manner to cover unpolished edges”. It was easy to forget she still lived in a world where Trenton Beck existed, but victory happened with every step and every shallow breath toward the one who made her world spin—Rufus.
Fourteen guests including Vince, the officiator, a.k.a. Sam’s dad, chased comfort away with their stares, and this time, it wasn’t her scars they were all looking at—it was her. Even this morning as she’d come out of the shower and face to face with her smooth skin, she jumped back at her own reflection. In her mind’s eye, Mia carried each and every scar, and despite the tight lace wedding dress, the growing knot in her throat and the discomfort of being scanned like that, he was all worth it.
Rufus smiled from his green tux, not even trying to get a hold of that trembling lip and loose tear crossing his cheek. Time slowed the moment he finally came to the realization that this was all real. Mia caught a glimpse of Jasper and Alex in dark suits by Rufus’s side, both trying and miserably failing to suppress a chuckle at the groom’s expense. Except it all hit her in the face as soon as she grabbed his hands and Vince signaled the crowd to sit. She was crying too. Maybe the optans had numbed her on Opt since she couldn’t feel her own tears plopping.
Found in Amber Page 29
