She gave him a frustrated glance and hurried down the path away from him. Away from his words and the feelings they’d stirred within her. The evening had been a confusing and disturbing one on several levels. Revelations from Hu Chang, the accusations from Gallo regarding the reason she had married Terry. The latter had to be a complete fallacy. It was just some psychological bullshit that had no basis in fact.
Or did it? She had never been one to examine her own motives. She knew who she was and usually responded instinctively.
As she had responded sexually to Gallo in those minutes before she had managed to break away. But in that case, the response had nothing to do with her basic personality. It had been mindless and almost animalistic. And she was not an animal. Her mother had been a prostitute, and Catherine had grown up with whores. She had seen that animal response all her childhood. She had even known it herself a few times since her husband’s death. But it had only been for a single episode, then she was able to control it and walk away.
This time she had walked away from it before it even happened.
Because with Gallo, she wasn’t certain that the control would be there to walk away afterward.
CHAPTER
12
Louisville, Kentucky
“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, Kelly?” Luke asked impatiently from the desk across the bedroom from where she was standing at the window. “You promised you’d go over this translation with me.”
“And I will. I’m thinking about it.” She continued to stand there gazing down at the street. “Luke, I like your tutor, Sam. He’s cool. And he must be really capable if Catherine picked him out for you. She trusts him?”
“Yeah, sure.” His head was bent over Hu Chang’s book.
“And you trust him?”
Luke raised his head and his eyes were suddenly wary. “Yes, why do you ask?”
“No reason. You don’t trust many people. I was just curious.”
“You don’t trust people either, Kelly.”
“More than you.” She suddenly grinned. “But I do guess we’re two of a kind, and that’s why you wanted me to work on your precious book with you.”
“No, I did it because you’re smart,” he said with a straight face, but there was the faintest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Or maybe you’ve just got a lot of those professors fooled. I hear it’s easy to send those ivory-tower teachers down the wrong path.”
“And where did you hear that?”
“I’ve been studying about politics and all those advisors in the White House. They seem to be pretty confused and causing big messes.”
“And what would be your solution?”
“Blow it all up and start over.” He looked down again at his book. “I like a clean slate.”
That was typical Luke, she thought. His experiences had made him ignore everything but the main objective and the quickest way to get to it. “So do I. But I think there would be a few problems with that particular action. Maybe we can work out something less violent and still effective.” She headed for the door. “I’ll be right back. I left that translation I pulled off the Internet downstairs in the library.”
He lifted his head and gave her a level glance. “I’ll be waiting.”
She didn’t know if he believed her. It was difficult to tell with Luke. At any rate, she’d better get back to him as soon as possible to allay any suspicions. She closed the door behind her and ran down the steps.
Sam O’Neill was coming in the front door and looked up with a smile as she reached the landing. “I thought you and Luke would be tied up all day on that book of his. He told me that there would be no lessons today and that I wasn’t needed.”
“That was rude of him. It’s just Luke’s way.”
“I know that. Luke and I understand each other.”
“Yes, he said he trusts you.” She gazed searchingly at him. “Should he trust you, Sam?”
His smile vanished. “Yes, why do you ask?”
“Because something is going on. Last night when I came here, I went out on the porch for some air. I saw you down the street. You were talking to a man near that oak tree on the corner. This morning I saw you talking to someone in a car on the other side of the street.”
“My, how suspicious. Maybe I’m just a friendly neighbor.”
“One time wasn’t suspicious. A second time I had to think about it and decided to check. I took a course in body language at school. I thought it might help in my studies in working out patterns and projections. Do you know what I’d guess from watching you?”
He tilted his head. “I’d be fascinated to hear.”
“You were superior, in charge, the other men were accepting orders. You’re former CIA and very capable. Why would you have to give orders to someone outside watching the house? Catherine wouldn’t put you in charge of Luke if she didn’t have absolute trust in you. So I thought there was a good chance that you’d explain if I talked to you.”
“And not lie?”
“I hope not.”
“What would you do if you thought I wasn’t telling the truth?” he asked curiously.
“I’d have to take Luke away if I couldn’t trust you.” She held his gaze. “I love Catherine. I couldn’t let her lose Luke or even risk having him hurt. The scenario I’m hoping for is that you’re only protecting Luke, but even so you’re trying to deceive us. That’s not fair, and neither Luke nor I will let you do that. What’s happening, Sam?”
His smile was rueful. “I’m staring at you and what’s coming out of your mouth doesn’t compute. You look like a young angel, big, innocent, blue eyes, fair hair in that ponytail. And you’re how old? Fifteen?”
“That doesn’t make any difference. You’re dodging. What’s happening?”
He shrugged. “No ugly plot. At least on my part. Catherine is dealing with a man who might be interested in taking his hatred out on her son. He’s vicious, has means at his disposal to hire scumbags to carry out his orders, and she thought the possibility was strong enough to alert me to take on extra men to protect him. I did as she ordered and pulled in four guys I worked with when I was with the CIA.”
“And she told you not to tell Luke?”
“She’s a mother. She wants to protect his sensitive feelings.”
Kelly snorted. “Luke is tough. She should know that.”
“She does. She just doesn’t want to admit it. Because it hurts her to remember what made him that way.”
Kelly nodded soberly. “Yeah, she hurts all the time. I want it to go away.”
“She’s working on it.” He gazed at her quizzically. “So have I passed the test? Do you believe me, Kelly?”
“Yes. Catherine told me you were a good guy, but I had to be sure.” She turned and started back up the stairs. “There wasn’t any use in telling Luke until I knew what I was talking about.”
“You’re going to tell him? Catherine won’t be pleased.”
“Catherine’s not here. And Luke can handle it.” She thought about it. “He might enjoy it. I think he’s a little bored.”
“Are you insulting my teaching regime?”
“I’m saying he’s stuffed so much into his head since we got him out of Russia that he might need something in the real world to clear it.”
He chuckled. “I understand you cram a lot of stuff in your head at that think tank at your college, too.” He was going down the hall toward the library. “Maybe you’re just being sympathetic.”
“Maybe I am.” She rounded the landing and stopped short.
Luke was sitting on the top step, looking at her. It took a minute for her to get over her surprise. “Hi, Luke. Were you, by any chance, eavesdropping?”
“Not by any chance. Deliberately. You were acting … weird. So I decided to follow you down to the library. But Sam came in, and I decided to just sit here and listen.”
“That’s not considered polite.”
He shrugged. “I’ve done it all my life. I had to know
what was going on. It was a way to protect myself.”
“Sorry, I can see that.” She climbed the rest of the stairs and sat down beside him. “And I’m sorry I was weird. I just had a hunch, and I didn’t want to bring you into it in case I was wrong.”
“You said that you had to protect me because of Catherine.” He frowned. “I don’t need any help, Kelly.”
“Okay, I hear you. But it doesn’t change that I’d have to do it. Catherine saved my life, and I have to do whatever I can for her.” She wrinkled her nose at him. “And since you were rude enough to listen, you know I was coming up to tell you what Sam said.”
“Would you really have told me?”
“Yes, because I would have wanted to know myself. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to treat me like I was some kind of delicate namby-pamby kid who couldn’t take care of herself.”
“Namby-pamby?” He lifted his hand. “Never mind. That explains itself, but it’s very peculiar.” He continued, “Yes, I would have been angry. I don’t mind Sam’s trying to do his job. That’s why Catherine hired him. But I should know, I should be able to protect myself if Sam can’t do it.”
“Sam’s very smart,” she said gently. “He’ll be able to make sure security is tight. Trust him.”
He shook his head. “I can only trust myself. That way no one is to blame but me if anything happens. That’s the way it should be. In the end, we’re all alone.”
And that independence and poignant solitariness must be terribly hard for Catherine to handle, Kelly thought with a pang. “Maybe you’re right, but it’s nice to have people you love come and visit with you.” She added deliberately, “Like Catherine.”
He was silent.
“Luke?”
“What do you want me to say?” he said roughly. “I know I should love Catherine. You’re always telling me that. But I can’t seem— Sometimes I think I remember her from the time before Rakovac took me. And it’s strange and warm and … kind of happy. I think I loved her then. Maybe I love her now…” He shook his head. “I like it when she’s with me. I … think I miss her when she’s gone. And every now and then, when I think about her, I get confused … It’s like listening to a shell where you hear the ocean but can’t see it.”
Kelly made a rude sound. “Boy, are you screwed up. I don’t know why Catherine bothers with you. You don’t deserve her.”
He didn’t answer for an instant. “I think it would hurt if anything happened to Catherine. I’ve been … worried about her lately. I’ve been wanting to help her.”
“Wow, that’s a breakthrough. It’s almost a normal reaction. I may get through this weekend without wanting to strangle you after all.” She paused. “Maybe even a few days longer. We need to work on that translation.”
His brows rose as he looked at her. “You said you had to get back to class.” He stiffened. “You’re staying because of what you said about watching out for me because Catherine would want you to do it.”
Tell him the truth. He would know if she tried to deceive him. “And what’s wrong with that?” she said brusquely. “You may think you’re alone, but as long as Catherine thinks you’re worth loving, then I’m going to be right here with you. I know you know more about taking care of yourself than I do, but two is always better.” She searched his expression but didn’t see any softening. “And you know something else? I’m also staying because, weird as you are, I like you. I’ve taken you on as my friend whether you like it or not. And I don’t leave my friends alone when they’re in trouble. If you have a problem with it, that’s too bad, Luke. Adjust.”
His expression didn’t alter for another moment. Then a faint smile touched his lips. “Who are you calling weird? You’re the one who’s staying here when you could be safe and cozy with those ivory-tower professors. That means you’re more weird than I am.”
She drew a relieved breath. “They’re not cozy, but they’re safe and, consequently, very boring. We can find something more interesting to do here.” She got to her feet and started down the stairs. “Let’s grab a sandwich, then get back to work.”
“Go on to the kitchen.” He was following her down the stairs. “I need to talk to Sam first.”
“Why? You’re not going to give him a hard time about this, Luke? As you said, he’s just doing his job.”
“No, I need to know how to recognize the men he’s hired to stand guard. And I want to know their names, too.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “It helps. How do you know the bad guys from the good guys? I always knew who the sentries were who guarded the house where Rakovac kept me.”
“But they were all bad guys there.”
“But then if I knew them, I knew what kind of mistakes they’d make. Stop asking questions, Kelly. I know what I’m doing.”
She imagined he did. He’d had to learn to survive those nine years alone, with only ugliness surrounding him. “Oh, very well.” She’d reached the bottom of the stairs and headed for the kitchen. “Sam was headed toward the library. It shouldn’t take you long. I’ll start making your sandwich.”
Golden Palace
Hong Kong
THE DINNER WAS SERVED ON exquisite china, and the food was excellent. Chen Lu was dressed in another silk caftan, this one a bright violet, and she was so vivacious she lit up the head of the table.
Hu Chang leaned forward to murmur to Catherine as a servant was pouring wine into their goblets. “You’re very quiet.”
“I didn’t have much chance to talk, did I? You and Chen Lu were catching up on old times.”
“We were rude?”
“No, you tried to include us.”
His gaze went to Gallo, who had just been pulled from his chair by Chen Lu and dragged to the stone balustrade overlooking the garden so that she could point out a rare orchid to him. “And neither you nor Gallo was in a mood to be very gregarious. Actually, I felt I had to distract Chen Lu from you. She’s very curious and has a bold tongue.”
She stiffened. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t you? She calls a spade a spade no matter how graphic. She’s not tactful as I am.” He picked up his goblet. “But she’s very tolerant. She would just tell you to go to bed with him and get it over with. That way she would keep her fine palace from going up in flames from sheer combustibility.”
She felt the heat in her cheeks. “And that’s supposed to be tactful?”
“As tactful as I can be considering the situation.” His long, graceful fingers were moving on the delicate crystal of the wineglass. “I realized you were heading in that direction, but I didn’t know it would turn explosive this soon. It came as a shock when I was forced to endure the physical vibrations that appear to be rocking your world.”
“I don’t want to talk about this, Hu Chang.”
“Nor do I. I find it disturbs me. I’m more selfish than I thought.” He gazed at Gallo, smiling down at Chen Lu at the balustrade. “Your Terry didn’t bother me. I thought that would be the test … It seems it was not.”
“Terry. Everyone is talking about Terry tonight.” Her hand clutched her glass. “Do you know what Gallo thinks? He says it was because of you that I married Terry. He said that you were the only man for whom I’d had any affection, and it was natural that I tried to find someone older, more mature when I was looking for a relationship. Isn’t that ridiculous?”
“Is it?” He smiled. “I should not be so vain, but Gallo’s opinion pleases me. Perhaps I like him more than I thought.” He tilted his head. “Or perhaps not. I will have to consider it.”
“I married Terry because he was a good man, and I knew we would have a happy, stable life together.”
“Stability. Yes, I can see how that appealed to you. You would not have to deal with the primitive lust that your prostitute mother brought into your life from infancy.”
She stared at him, stunned. Only earlier that evening, she had admitted that fact to herself. “I’ve come to terms with
my background, Hu Chang.”
He shook his head. “Not yet. You’re the strongest woman I know, but everyone hides from something.” His gaze shifted to the cream-colored candles and watched the flames flicker. “Do not hide from this, Catherine. I’m selfish, and you’re part of my life. I would like to tell you to send Gallo away. I do not want to share you. But he’s like a storm that you must survive to become stronger.”
“That’s bull. All you’re talking about is a jump in bed, not some great psychological revelation.”
“Whatever you say.” He smiled. “I felt it my duty to tell you my thoughts. I will be happy if you ignore them. But I’m not sure you will be as happy.” He nodded at Chen Lu as she turned away from the railing and smiled at him. “They seem to have finished their horticulture discussion. Now we will be very civilized and have her special Irish coffee with our hostess. It is amusing how she surrounds herself with silks and pearls and pictures of dragons and still loves her Irish coffee. We will meet in your suite afterward, and Gallo can tell us how we can get to Nardik and end this.”
He had changed the subject, and she should be relieved. The entire conversation had been bizarre and upsetting. It was as if he had given her his blessing to go to bed with Gallo.
As if she needed anyone’s blessing to do anything she wanted.
Gallo was walking toward them across the veranda.
The light from the three tiers of candles on the dozen outdoor chandeliers was playing over his dark hair and throwing his cheekbones in shadow. His lips were open slightly, and his teeth were white against his olive skin. He looked totally male, totally sensual.
She felt a sudden tightness in her chest just looking at him.
Stop it, dammit.
But he was looking at her too. She knew what he was thinking. He had told her how it would be.
“Be careful,” Hu Chang murmured. “I would not have Chen Lu embarrass you.”
She tore her eyes away from Gallo. Control. This was not about her past or whatever hang-ups she might still have from that past. And it was not about her own damn emotions. It was about Hu Chang and his formula that could possibly wreak chaos.
What Doesn't Kill You Page 20
