by Frank Morin
"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed, her anger replaced by embarrassment. She wore only a linen robe over a simple cotton night dress.
Mattias, ever the gentleman, averted his gaze as she scurried back to the bed and pulled up the covers. Her cheeks felt warm, and she hoped she wasn't blushing.
He chuckled as he entered the room and scooped up a couple of pillows. "That ornate headboard can't be comfortable behind your back."
She scooted forward to allow him to place the pillows behind her. That did help. Mattias sat on the edge of the bed, exactly where Connor had a few minutes before. He took her hand.
"I was so worried when I heard you were wounded by a Mhortair Assassin."
"I'll be fine," she assured him, but then rubbed her aching shoulder.
The Healers had explained about the severe damage that Mister Five's unique attack had done. If not for the healing power that Connor had poured into her so quickly, she might have suffered permanent damage.
She was still mad at him, though.
"From the state of your room and your obvious anger, I think it safe to assume you've already received reports of Connor's dalliance with the lady Shona this morning," Mattias said, one eyebrow raised.
"I saw it myself," she snapped.
The thought that other Longseers had seen his stupid action only stoked her anger. How many people knew? Would rumors reach her family in Edderitz? She cringed inwardly at the thought of the unpleasant conversations she'd have to endure if that happened.
Mattias patted her hand. "Relax, 'Rena. I've already issued orders to those who witnessed it keep it strictly confidential. I told them he was performing a misinformation initiative on behalf of the council."
Verena gave him a relieved sigh and squeezed his hand. "Oh, Mattias. You're such a good man."
"Protecting your honor has always been a duty I take seriously."
She was surprised that she felt the need to explain Connor's actions. "I warned him that meeting Shona was a stupid idea, but he didn't listen, and she manipulated him like she always does."
"He comes from a humble background, yes?"
She nodded. "Very."
"Then he is unused to the intrigue and manipulations that nobility grow up with. You were right to suspect he would fail. It's a shame he's not wise enough to heed your counsel."
Mattias understood things so clearly. Why couldn't Connor?
"Tell me about the battle." She hadn't gotten any specifics from Connor, and not knowing was yet another irritant.
He told her, and as always, she loved the rich baritone timbre of his voice. As he spoke, he slowly stroked the back of her hand. She had always loved that when they were dating at the academy.
When he brought her up to date on the situation, she leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes. She felt relieved that the fighting had gone so well and that the Grandurian casualty count was lower than it could have been. She really was tired, but she was still so worked up, she doubted she could sleep.
Mattias began to sing.
He sang softly, with that beautiful voice that she'd fallen in love with. It wasn't a victory song like those surely being sung loudly across the city by soldiers relieved to have survived the day. It was a simple melody, one he had sung to her on many occasions while they sat on the banks of a lovely little lake just south of the academy.
The simple verses celebrated peaceful days and good friendship. As he sang, dozens of happy memories flitted through her mind. She should tell him to stop, but the sounds eased her anger, and drained away her tension. She allowed herself a luxurious moment to do nothing but lean back on the pillows, eyes closed, a half smile on her lips, as she enjoyed the simple pleasure of his angelic voice.
When he finished she sighed, "Thank you, Mattias. I needed that."
"I'm glad I could help." He leaned a little closer and touched her cheek. "Verena, I know your spirit. You'll do whatever needs doing, no matter how hard it is. I love that about you."
"I appreciate that, Mattias, but what are you saying?"
"Life doesn't have to be so difficult. I know you feel drawn to Connor, but I can also see the relationship is difficult."
"All relationships are difficult." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she stared into his eyes and read the same emotion there that she remembered. "Even ours."
He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I regret only that I didn't find a way to bring you and the entire Builder compound to Edderitz sooner. Know that I'm here for you, 'Rena. No matter what you need, when you need it, and for as long as you'll allow me to."
She touched his face, moved by the depth of his emotion, and surprised by how strongly she still felt for him. If things had turned out differently, she didn't doubt they'd already be promised to each other.
When he leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the lips, she did not push him away.
For a second, it felt just like old times. Feelings that she'd thought bottled up and discarded long ago ignited in her heart anew.
But the kiss was a mistake.
Verena pushed Mattias back, felt his reluctance to move away, his desire to kiss her again. She looked deep into his eyes and saw his honest emotion, but shook her head.
"We can't do this, Mattias."
He frowned and his tone became bitter. "Why not? You still feel it, 'Rena. Don't pretend you don't. We could make it work."
"I was just furious at Connor for letting Shona kiss him again. He had his reasons, just as I had for allowing myself to kiss you just now. It's not right for him to do it, and it's not right for us, and you know it."
"Not if you leave him and come back to me."
She absolutely hated the fact that tears threatened and her heart ached with remembered pain. She thought back to the day he'd left for the capital and she'd gone the other way toward the Builder compound.
"We had our chance, Mattias, and we chose different worlds. Our worlds are still different, and our lives have moved on."
"You can't say you still want to choose that common Obrioner over me," Mattias said angrily.
"At the moment, I don't know what I want, but I know that I need time to figure things out." She gestured between the two of them. "This isn't helping."
Mattias rose and took a deep, steadying breath. "I love you, 'Rena. We separated because we had no choice, but now you do. I'll give you time, but you owe me an honest answer soon. Don't let your infatuation with the Blood of the Tallan cloud your better judgment."
After he left, Verena buried her head under the covers and let herself really cry for the first time in years.
Chapter Seventy-One
"Duty is the shackle of honest hearts, but victory lies only at the end of the course set before the determined tread."
~Evander
Connor paused outside of the ornate, wooden door to Saskia's private library, where his family was waiting. He took a long, calming breath, trying to let go of his still-simmering anger. He'd taken a long walk through the citadel, but completely failed to regain the happiness he'd felt prior to the argument.
Verena was right about some things, but she was so wrong about others. He'd never imagined she'd treat him like that, assuming the regal, authoritarian bearing so like Shona. He'd worried her family might be as problematic as the Obrioner nobility at the Carraig, but he'd never imagined Verena might be infected with that pride too.
He loved Verena, and the thought of losing her added a fluttering panic to his already riled-up emotions. He had absolutely no idea how to set things right. He could never again accept a one-sided relationship where his only role was to serve and do his partner's bidding, but how could he make her understand?
Women were always a mystery, and he hated that feeling of cluelessness. He'd never understood Shona, but he'd hoped he might get to that point with Verena.
With an effort, he forced his worries, his anger, and his fears aside, assumed a happy expression, and pushed open the door. The library was small by citadel
standards, meaning it could have only held half the town of Alasdair.
Vaulted ceilings rose over twenty feet to domed panels, painted in brilliant mosaics, depicting Grandurian history. Most of the walls were covered in bookshelves made out of a delicate, creamy-looking wood. They rose almost to the ceiling, with three levels of narrow catwalks circling the room, accessed by tightly-spiraling staircases.
Two huge windows on the far side of the room flanked a fireplace with an ornately-carved walnut mantel. A cheery blaze was burning, and several couches and chairs were drawn up around the hearth.
Hamish and Jean stood near the fire, holding hands, surrounded by Hamish's family. Mhairi sat nearby in a chair so stuffed with padding it seemed to be trying to swallow her. Martys stood on the opposite side of the hearth, speaking with Hendry and Lilias, while Connor's brothers chased each other around the couches.
They spotted him first, let out a happy cheer, and raced across the room, nearly tackling him off his feet in their excitement.
Little Wallace gave Connor a serious look. "What took you so long, Connor? Were you making that squirrel for me?"
"I had a few things to take care of."
When he reached the hearth, his mother enveloped him in a long hug, which he was happy to return. He didn't know if all mothers had that amazing ability to make everything seem all right. His mother had perfected it.
"We were so worried for you," she said.
"If'n ye hadn't confused the lad with that rubbish about mercy in battle, ye widnae have had such fears," Martys said, giving her a disapproving look.
She stiffened and her eyes flashed with anger, but before she could make an angry retort Connor said, "It's all right, Uncle Martys. Everyone survived, so no harm done."
He grunted sourly. "Not this time, but ye must accept the fact that there be times when ye must fight to kill."
"You don't know everything I had to do out there," Connor said. He stepped away from his mother, whose expression turned concerned.
"Enough of killing talk for now," Hendry said, clapping his brother on the shoulder. "Let's celebrate the miracle that we're all alive and all together."
"For now," Amhain said. He looked uneasy in the beautiful library.
"Hush, love." Peigi gave him a disapproving look.
"Where's that lovely girl of yours, Connor?" his mother asked.
"She was hurt in the fighting, but she'll be all right," Connor assured her.
"Where is she? I should go visit," Lilias said.
Mhairi said, "I'll come along. Those Petralist Healers seem overly reliant on their magic to cure what tonics and herbs can do better."
"I think she needs to be left alone for a while," Connor cautioned.
Some of his lingering anger must have crept into his voice because his mother said, "Oh, Son, you two aren't fighting, are you?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
He still felt such a turmoil of shame and anger that he wasn't sure he could talk about it.
Hendry gave him an understanding look. "Son, every relationship has struggles. In a time of war, the stresses are even worse. Don't let momentary anger cloud the truth of how you two feel about each other."
"I said she's fine," Connor said more sharply than he had ever spoken to his parents before. His mother raised one eyebrow at his tone and he sighed, "Sorry. It's been a rough day."
She hugged him again. "I know. It's a miracle we're all here."
"More like a nightmare," Amhain said with another scowl.
"What's wrong, Dad?" Hamish asked.
Amhain barked a laugh. "Can you ask that? We're in Granadure. We're surrounded by the barbarians. They could do anything to us."
Connor was surprised to see Peigi nodding. He caught his parents exchanging a worried look too. Most of the kids seemed more interested in exploring the higher levels of the bookshelves, though.
He'd feared the Grandurians at first, but he'd learned long since that there were good people on both sides of the border, just as there were bad. He understood their fears, but they didn't have time for incorrect prejudices.
Time to break them of bad habits. So he laughed.
"Are you serious? These people helped save your lives. They've taken you in and treated you well, haven't they?"
Amhain said, "Aye, that they have, but High Lord Dougal himself showered us with gifts until he decided it was time to use us as hostages."
Hamish said, "I warned you about Dougal, Dad. These are good people."
"It's still not right to laugh off the danger," Peigi said nervously.
Jean said, "I know it breaks everything we've known our whole lives, but we can actually trust some of the Grandurians."
"You're forgetting that they invaded our home last year," Amhain pointed out.
Jean said, "Even so, Connor and Hamish are right. We have good friends here."
Amhain didn't look convinced, but Hendry wrapped an arm around Lilias and said, "We haven't seen anything to make us doubt your word. I'm just glad everyone is safe."
"Tell us what happened and how you ended up here," Connor said.
They took turns telling the tale. Dougal and a force of wild soldiers had appeared without warning in Alasdair. They had captured and subdued the lookout boys so no one got warning of their arrival. Dougal had informed the families that they were needed, that their service would help end the war sooner.
"He made it sound a grand thing," Hendry said with a scowl.
"The reality was the opposite," Lilias agreed.
Peigi shivered, rubbing her arms. "Those soldiers were the most terrifying part. The way they looked at us! It was like they were eager for any excuse to kill."
"I shouldn't have spared them," Connor growled.
Lilias shook her head. "The men holding us prisoner today knew nothing of who we were. They weren't the wild ones who dragged us north. Those men and women remained with Dougal."
"I think they're his bodyguards," Hendry said.
Hamish and Jean exchanged a worried look and he said, "Sounds like those rampagers we captured during that first raid."
Jean explained, "They're soldiers who can turn unclaimed at will and transform into horrible, deadly monsters."
"Why in Tallan's unholy name would Dougal surround himself with people like that?" Lilias exclaimed.
"Because they're his last line of defense against us," Hamish said.
Connor was barely listening. The thought of rampagers in the Obrioner camp meant that somewhere not far distant was someone with porphyry. If only he'd known, he could have hunted them down and taken the powder.
He was struck by such a powerful urge to do just that, he took a single step toward the nearest window before he checked himself. For just a second, he'd intended to leap right through the window, even though he didn't have marble or quartzite ready. Could he have pulled a stone from his pouch and connected with the element before plunging to his death?
Part of him didn't care, and he fought to control the urge to jump anyway. It was the fastest way to get the powder, so it was worth any risk.
He shuddered as a dreadful chill crept slowly down his spine. Maybe Kilian was right about porphyry. Still, there had to be a way to use it safely. He wished Verena was nearby. The touch of her hand always helped center his mind, although at the moment thinking of her didn't calm him.
"Are you all right, lad?" Mhairi asked. Somehow she stood right beside him, looking up at him with concern in her gaze.
He hadn't even seen her move. He blinked and glanced around. The others hadn't seemed to notice, but were listening with rapt attention as Hamish described rampagers in terrifying detail.
"I'm fine."
She held his gaze for another second or two before slowly nodding. "I have only two medicines that can make a patient look like you did just now. Whatever is ailing you, Son, seek help from someone who understands the danger before you hurt yourself or someone near you."
Connor gave her a
warm smile. "Thanks. I'll remember that."
There was no way she understood what he was going through. Dealing with porphyry was nothing like her medicines, but he wouldn't ever dare tell her to mind her own business.
"I'm so glad we got away from them," Peigi said as Hamish finished his account of his first encounter with rampagers and how they'd smashed his flying board.
Connor said, "We'll have to make sure Wolfram knows about them. Even a couple of rampagers could kill a lot of people."
Hendry drew closer to Connor and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks again for saving us. You took a terrible risk. I know your places are here, dealing with these dangerous people, using powers that are more legend than reality. But what of us?"
"We need to go home," Lilias said.
The others all nodded in agreement, and Connor wanted to pull out his hair with frustration.
"You can't go home. Dougal kidnapped you once. If you return, he could do it again, or worse."
Peigi looked stricken. "We've got nowhere else to go. Alasdair is our home."
"And the village needs us," Hendry said.
The door to the library burst open and Aifric rushed inside. "Sorry for interrupting, but there's a meeting we need to attend. Right now."
"We'll figure things out," Connor promised his family as Jean and Hamish said good-bye and headed for the door with Aifric. "I promise."
The only thought that came to him as he jogged down the long corridors of the citadel after Aifric was that his family would never be safe as long as Dougal lived.
Chapter Seventy-Two
“Fear is the darkest hour before dawn, but shadows flee the touch of the sun.”
~Gregor
Aifric led them to Saskia's private sitting room where they'd first met her. Saskia was there, along with Kilian and Wolfram. They all still wore their battle garb. Verena sat in an overstuffed chair, wearing a simple cream colored dress.
She looked soft and beautiful, and Connor longed to rush to her. He couldn't quite make himself do it, though.
"Good. Perfect timing," Wolfram said, gesturing them to join the group in comfortable seats near the fire.
Connor couldn't look away from Verena. If he dropped to his knees and begged her forgiveness, could he repair the damage their argument had caused?
