by Dawn Edwards
‘Jessa,’ I pleaded. ‘Stay with me, we don’t have to do anything, but we need the time together.’
I hated that on the boat, we had no privacy, but it was odd that she didn't even care the crew could hear all of our conversations. Perhaps she thought I had asked them to sign an NDA, which I hadn’t.
‘Let me come back to you, don’t force it. Please,’ she smiled at me. ‘I’ll get there, but I’m not ready yet.’ It had been months since we’d last had sex, I didn’t see how it was possible she didn’t want it. It wasn’t as if she was getting it anywhere else. I knew everyone she hung out with. I made sure she had given up all her male friends, and most of her female friends for that matter, but the ones who remained were all girls with the exception of her cousin and the hired help who’d been around too much this summer. But let's face it, he was so far out of her league that I didn’t even bother worrying about him; nonetheless, I didn’t want her spending time with him.
‘I’ll sleep in the guest room, you take the master,’ I told her, giving her a hug.
She shook her head. ‘No, I don’t feel right about that, you went out of your way to arrange all this,’ she waved her hands around, and then placed them on my chest. ‘And planning everything tonight,’ she bit her lip, something she did when she was hesitant. ‘Matty, I didn’t think you had it in you. Better be careful, I may expect romance from you more often,’ she smiled a truly genuine smile up at me, the one she used to have for me, and I felt a pang of shame in my gut.
‘Noted,’ I smiled down to her, nodding in agreement with her. ‘You deserve it.’
‘Wake me when you're up in the morning so we don’t miss any time together,’ she told me as I led her down the steep narrow stairs off the main room.
The plan was to sail overnight to Cuttyhunk, where I had a few things planned for us.
‘We will be docked already in Cuttyhunk in the morning. The captain will be asleep, but chef and Sonja will be up.’
‘Sounds great.’ She hugged me goodnight and kissed my cheek. ‘I can’t wait for tomorrow.’
She washed up in the master bathroom, took the nightclothes she needed from her bag, and left me in the master suite alone. I was pissed off, to be honest, I had expected more from her, it had been months since I’d had Jessa in my bed, and I thought for sure she’d be more than ready for me again. It wasn’t like our physical relationship had ever really developed, but with married life and living together, I was expecting it to. I still planned to keep Cindy on the side, she was too good to give up, and I didn’t care what my sister had to say about it. Besides, Jessa wasn’t too keen on sleeping with me, and I’d never force her to.
It may have all started as a con, but I hadn’t expected her own sweet charm to draw me in. I wanted her to be happy, and I’d never want harm to come to her. It was one of the reasons I didn’t want her with many of the people she used to hang out with. They weren’t good for her; yes, I wanted to control every aspect of her life, but I also wanted to protect her and keep her safe.
I’d already been a part of her greatest heartbreak when her brother died, but it was unavoidable after our cover was nearly blown by him. That’s when I had to pull away from Jessa. My family sat me down and in no simple terms read me the riot act.
I’d nearly gone off the rails after what happened to Josh, but I had to keep it together for my family’s sake—and to support Jessa through her grief. It was then that I started to distance myself from her emotionally, manipulating her more than ever while pretending to be falling in love with her, doting on her.
I was mad with my siblings and bitter with my circumstance. It all culminated in me taking it out on Jessa. I knew it wasn’t fair, but it helped my case. She always wanted to keep me happy, her insecurity was that I would leave her otherwise, or later, release the videos. God, the more the girl tried, the more it killed me.
As my family had pointed out, the ball was now in my court. I had her, and she needed a pick-me-up. I made it a point to post about our engagement almost as soon as she let me slide the engagement ring on her finger. I knew I had to make it public, the Cahills were very private people, and didn’t want any public scandals.
I knew all about Jessa’s insecurities, and I added to them. It was one of the only ways I knew how to keep her closer to me. I knew she wouldn't be breaking up with me. However, my brother insisted on an insurance policy, and that’s where the sex video came in.
It took a long-ass time, almost a year after we first met, and just before her brother died, but we finally had sex. From the start, I knew my bonus perks of the relationships were going to have to wait. But as I waited, I was able to gain her trust, and play the respectful boyfriend then-fiancé in public, and she lived up to her end—mostly.
The next morning, I awoke to a light knocking at my door. ‘Yeah?’ I said, lying on my stomach under some blankets.
‘Good morning,’ Jessa said in a low voice, as she walked in and sat at the end of the bed. ‘Do you still want to sleep?’
I shook my head and rolled over. ‘No, I can think of better things to do in this bed.’
She laughed as if to say, yeah right, fat chance. ‘I’m sure you can, but not this morning.’
‘Tonight?’ I raised an eyebrow.
She smiled, shyly. She always was shy when it came to sex, and I’d never really been able to get her to talk about it with me. She looked like she would die of mortification when I once suggested we watch a porn video. She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I’m not going to say no, but I can’t say yes right now either.’
‘It's a start.’ I smiled at her, sitting up and kissing her temple. ‘Shall we get ready for the day, see what they have prepared for breakfast, and head off the boat for a bit?’
We spent the day exploring the small island. After breakfast, we walked along a beach, where I had arranged for us to get a couple’s massage. We then had a late seafood lunch at a fishing village and visited a lighthouse. When we got back to the boat, the two Jet-Skis I had arranged were waiting for us. I told my sister she enjoyed them, and I suggested that it would be a fun activity where we could race around the small island.
It was a beautiful day, and while Jessa complained that the water wasn’t that warm, she was still game, changing into her swimsuit and shorts. It was great to see her laughing and playful, something I hadn’t seen from her in a long time.
When we got back, it was early evening, and we weren’t due to set sail until around eight that evening when dinner was being served so we could enjoy the sunset while eating. The chef was preparing a selection of Jessa’s favorites. Chicken and asparagus lasagna with hollandaise sauce, spinach strawberry and citrus salad, and focaccia bread with an artichoke-and-eggplant spread. For dessert, I had a chocolate fondue, with marshmallows, pound cake, strawberries, and pretzels.
She was reading her tablet on the top deck when I came up. She wore a pair of dark jeans, a long-sleeved sweater, and had a scarf next to her but hadn't put it on yet. She knew all about sailing, and how it could get really cool out on the open water at night.
‘The chef says about 5 minutes,’ I informed her, taking a seat next to her. ‘Do you want a drink in the meantime?’
She put her tablet down and shook her head. ‘I’ll just wait.’
We enjoyed our dinner, and I really appreciated talking to Jessa, hearing about her classes she was planning on taking in the fall, her trip to Madrid, and even about this new blog she was following, that recently started releasing a chapter every day or so on a really addicting story she was currently obsessed with.
'I really think we need to sort everything out,’ she said as Sonja was clearing away our dinner plates.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked, looking around, not able to see land. The plan was to sail west of the islands and up through the Cape Cod Canal and onwards to Boston, where we would arrive in the early morning.
She took in a breath and placed her hands on the table to steady herself. ‘Mat
t, come on, you know we need to sort out the prenup.’ I looked up, but neither Sonja nor the captain, who was doing rounds, looked back towards us. Either they didn't hear us, or they were professional enough to not let on they could.
‘You know I don’t want a prenup,’ I told her flatly.
‘And you know there’s no way my father will allow us to go through with the wedding this time next week if there is none,’ she spits out, frustrated.
‘And what do you want?’ I asked her as Sonja placed the chocolate fondue down between us before walking back to the kitchen.
‘I want to make everyone happy, but that seems to be impossible,’ she sighed, leaning back into her seat.
There was silence for some time, and Sonja returned with the items for the fondue. ‘What will it take for you to sign the prenup?’ she asked me in front of Sonja, but she acted as if she didn’t hear anything between us.
‘Nothing, that prenup doesn’t make us equals.’
‘We’re not equal now. That little movie you made without me knowing tilted the playing field, don’t you agree?’
I smiled with a slight snort of a laugh; she wasn’t wrong. ‘You’re going to have to give that recording up if you want me to consider changing anything in that prenup.’
I picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate, ‘Eat before it cools off.’ I popped the strawberry in my mouth, pretending to ignore the suggestion she made about deleting the recording I had made of us during one of the few times we’d actually been together. I could agree to deleting the one she knew about, it wasn’t like she knew I had a few different videos of her. Yup, I was a prick.
Jess stood up and went to the bar. Sonja saw her and rushed to where Jessa was pouring herself a drink. ‘Miss Cahill, is there something I can get for you?’
Jessa smiled her polite smile. ‘That’s fine, I saw that you’re busy cleaning up from the evening. Everything has been perfect, thank you so much. I’m able to get the drinks for Matt and me.’
Jessa made herself a Dark and Stormy, with extra limes, and a rum and coke, extra rum for me. I had a feeling we’d be drinking a lot tonight to sort everything out.
Over the next few hours, there were a lot of tears on Jessa’s part. A lot of yelling on my part, and a lot of rum on both our parts.
In the end, I conceded that I would give up the video—the one she knew about—and she agreed to make me co-owner of the Hyannisport house, and to put her trust fund into a blind trust to be signed over to any children we may have in the future, and to use the interest payments from the trust to supplement our income or pad our savings. Her trust fund wasn’t the biggest part of the con, but it wouldn’t hurt either. The main thing was to expose Mr. Cahill’s dealings and implicate some of his business associates and friends in scandals—knowing Steve Cahill was the reason they had been introduced to me. Part of the con was to ruin his reputation as payback and shrink his social and professional circles.
I was feeling sleepy, likely due to how late it was and the copious amounts of rum I drank tonight. I wasn’t sure how Jessa was still coherent. I don’t remember walking to my berth, I don’t remember if Jessa came down with me, where she slept, or even if she slept.
The next thing I knew, I woke up, fully dressed from the night before, on top of the blankets, and from there everything went downhill.
Fast.
CHAPTER 4
DREW
‘Is it really necessary that we scrape all the paint off before we paint?’ Breton huffed for what seemed like the 90th time this morning. He looked exhausted and was distracted, seeming only to make conversation with me because it was the right thing to do. He wasn’t acting himself, but I didn’t know what was up with him today. Knowing him, if he wanted to talk about it, I already would have had an earful.
‘Yes, it needs to be as even as possible,’ I grunted out. ‘So, when we paint over it, it won’t look like shit, all bumpy and uneven.’ I was still in a foul mode since waking up Saturday morning, alone in bed. I’d fallen asleep holding an emotional Jessa after she cried herself to sleep in my arms. When sleep finally claimed me, I didn't hear or feel her leave the bed. When I woke up, I had a feeling of loss. I hated any time we were apart, even when I knew she was at work, school or hanging out with her friends. I just wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, I simply loved her company. Not only did she make me happy, I had a sense of wholeness when she was around.
Even having her in my bed that night, it wasn’t about our body chemistry. Sure, my body had responded to her proximity, it always did, but she needed my arms, my ears and my heart that night. I’d always give her what she needed when she needed it. What we had was special; it was intimate in a way that went beyond anything physical.
I kept holding on to what she said, that when she came back, we would be able to have a real relationship out in the open. I hated the sneaking around and keeping the truth from her parents. Especially her father, my boss, who’d been so good to me over the past few months. He was a man I respected, and I hated deceiving him the way we had been.
When I awoke, I knew where she had gone, whom she was going to see, and it upset me more than anything ever had. As a result, I’d been in a foul mood ever since. But really, I’d been a grumpy bastard for a week now, ever since Jessa told me that she was planning to go away with Matt this weekend.
It was the final straw. I could take a lot, but I was also a proud man. I wasn’t taking a backseat with Jessa, especially to a guy who didn’t deserve her. She tried all last week to get me to talk with her, but I just couldn’t. I wanted her too bad.
Late Friday night, or more like early Saturday morning, I woke up to her sitting next to me on my bed. She was cryptic; I knew she wanted to say more, but in the end, she just asked me not to give up on her. Like I ever could.
The only thing that was keeping me going was the promise she made to me before falling asleep in my arms. “The next time you see me, I’ll be free of him and we can finally be together, as I wish we could have been all along.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant, how she would be free of him, or how she was going to do it. As far as I knew, the wedding hadn’t been canceled yet, and all systems were still a go.
Fuck. It made me mad just thinking about the possibility that she might marry that asshole next weekend.
However, it appeared she had a plan. Perhaps she was breaking things off. I could only hope and pray, and that was saying something, as I wasn’t a religious man.
I hadn’t been sleeping well at all this weekend, so I’d been up working on the side of the garage since 7:00 this morning. Breton swung by around 10:00 to see if I wanted to go out to brunch with him, but I really wasn’t up to it, so he made a run to Dunkin’ Donuts then started helping me with the garage, scraping and sanding—albeit, complaining the entire time. He didn't have to help me; I didn't even have to be working. Steve and Colleen had been telling me to take time off, but I didn't really have much else to do. Besides, I needed to keep busy and my mind somewhat occupied on something other than Jessa.
A large black sedan pulled into the driveway. Two men in suits got out and walked towards us. ‘Who are they?’ I asked Breton, and he just shrugged his shoulders as if he really didn’t know. He grabbed a rag to wipe off his hands and walked towards them.
They both showed their badges to Breton and my heart sank. I knew, I just knew it had to do with Jessa. I could feel the bile rising and took a few breaths to calm myself.
‘Good morning, we’re looking to speak with Steven and Colleen Cahill,’ one of the men said.
Breton nodded, steadying himself. ‘Is this to do with Josh?’
Josh. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and resumed trying to calm myself down by concentrating on breathing in and out. Not that the death of Josh was good news, but my thoughts went straight to Jessa. I just wanted her home with me, and until that happened, I would be anxious.
Josh, yeah, the
y could be here for him. I was hoping there was some kind of break in his case. I tried to convince myself of it, but it wasn’t working, I was too obsessed with Jessa and upset that she was away and alone with Matt—it unsettled me.
‘We need to speak to the Cahills,’ the man said, clearly not wanting to prolong this any further, and with that, the sinking feeling returned.
This wasn’t about Josh, these men were here about Jessa, and it wasn’t to deliver good news.
‘Sure,’ Breton said, starting to walk towards the house. ‘Follow me.’
If she was hurt, the hospital would have called. If something happened, she would have contacted her parents, or maybe even Breton first. But the fact that the police were here, meant that she wasn’t able to deliver the news herself. Something wasn’t right.
I started to pace, and before I knew it, I was behind the garage, channeling my anger into snapping old branches with my hands to make burning it easier. I had lost track of time, my mind racing, trying to convince myself it was about Josh. They had a break, someone confessed, anything but the invading thought that something had happened to Jessa. Various possibilities were attacking my brain.
Matt beat her and she was in the hospital.
There was a car accident.
She fell down the stairs and was unconscious.
She finally snapped and killed Matt then was arrested.
Anything to push the thought that wanted to occupy me. No, I wouldn't go there.
She asked me not to give up on her.
She promised me, “The next time you see me, I’ll be free of him and we can finally be together, as I wish we could have been all along.”
I had to hold on to that. I had to honor her and not give up on her, that she would come back to me and finally be mine like she was always meant to be.
