“Good.”
He muttered under his breath, and I’m not sure he meant for me to hear him say it. Is he glad that I’m not with Wolf? He was staring, but I figured it was because I’m new around here and the other men were staring.
Does he like me?
The questions run through my head as Hawk nods, turns, and walks away.
Chapter 4
“Please let me go!” I cry, trying to pull away from the man. He grabs my ankle and drags me across the mattress. Pain flares up my leg from the grip, and I whimper. He crawls over me, his arms holding me down. I try to push him away. He slams me down.
“Let’s get busy, baby,” Viper growls, moving over me.
I bolt up, a scream tearing from my lips.
Screaming again when the door slams open, I jump. I pull the covers up to my chin. I watch Wolf and Hawk rush into the room, guns drawn. They search the room for a threat as I pull the covers up to my face to wipe at the tears.
A second later, Lacy runs in, crying, “Oh, god. You’re awake! I couldnae get in. You were screaming. I dinnae know what to do.” She throws her arms around me. The ghost feeling of Viper’s hands on me causes me to flinch.
“I-It was a nightmare,” I mumble, sniffling and blinking tears away. “Where are Reece and Rosaleigh?” I ask. Wolf shuffles out of the room with a last glance at me before he leaves.
Assuming he’s going to get the kids, I look to Hawk whose eyes are on me. Eyebrows pulled together and lips in a thin line, he’s scowling. I watch his body wind up like a coil. Different emotions cross his face, but I can’t pinpoint any of them. Anger. Hatred. Concern?
As he puts his gun away, my tiny humans run into the room.
“Mommy!” They run up to the bed and jump on. I immediately pull them into my arms, comfort falling over me like a warm blanket. I always feel better when I get to hold them.
“I’m sorry, guys. Did I scare you?” I ask. They nod their heads. This is the worst part of nightmares.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, kissing each of their heads. I hate scaring them. If I could get rid of these nightmares, I’d do it faster than you can say ‘cheese’ when the camera flashes. I’d do almost anything. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, I hate doing this to them.
“Mommy, are you okay?” Reece asks, grabbing my hand. I nod, and he tilts his head to the side a bit. “It was scary,” he admits, and I sigh. This shouldn’t be something they deal with. I should help them get over nightmares, not the reverse.
I run a hand through my hair and then brush hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, buddy,” I tell him. When I look over to Rosaleigh, she’s nodding her head in agreement.
Sighing, I pull them closer.
“Do you wanna talk about it, lass?”
Wolf’s concern reminds me of my father, which only makes my heart ache. I glance up at him and nod. It’s better to talk it out instead of bottling it up… at least that’s what my therapist used to tell me.
Right after I found out I was pregnant, I spent half of the small paycheck I got on therapy. I knew it was the only way I’d get through what happened, and my therapist always told me that talking would help.
Most of the time I talk to Lacy, but now that Wolf is here…
“I-It was Viper, and he was… hurting me,” I mumble, trying to keep the tears back. It’s no use; they spill over. The thumping in my chest speeds up to a racing pace, making me feel like I have a battering ram in my chest.
“Meany,” Reece grumbles.
My heart lifts at the innocent, protective comment.
“He’s no’ here, Angel. He’s dead,” Wolf growls. “You’re safe.”
Feeling a little embarrassed that everyone is seeing me in this state has my face turning red as I wipe tears away. To have everyone in the room staring is also nerve-wracking.
“I know. You can’t save me from nightmares,” I whisper, and now he sighs. I swipe at my tears again, glance at Hawk, then look back at Wolf. “Did you tell him?” I ask, and Wolf shakes his head.
“I told him a little. Not this. It wasnae my place,” Wolf tells me.
A rumble grows from Hawk’s chest. His lips press together as more growling noises come from him. Though, as I look at him, I don’t think he’s angry with me. He seems mad at the situation, maybe because he’s not sure what’s going on.
“Why were you screaming, and why do you have nightmares?” His tone softens as he crouches in front of me. I can’t help but notice he’s still an imposing figure, large and dominating.
Turning to Lacy, I motion to the kids who are still laying on me. She smiles, carefully lifting Rosaleigh. The second Rosa is out of my arms, Reece sits up and look at me. Green eyes watch me.
He’s my little protector.
I sweep hair out of his eyes and give him a slight smile. “Reece, can you go with Lacy back to bed?” I ask. He nods and kisses my cheek before dashing out of the room.
Once he’s gone, and I know he can’t hear me, I look up at the two men in the room.
“Deep breaths, Angel. Take your time,” Hawk murmurs.
Wolf takes my hand in his, and Hawk moves back, crosses his arms, and leans against the wall. Losing his nearness hits me like a bolt of lightning. I watch him for a second before taking another deep breath. For some reason, Hawk’s support means something to me. Something more than I can understand right now.
Wasting time won’t make the situation go away. So, I begin my story. I tell him about my father, how he was the leader in a motorcycle club. Viper and the way he kidnapped me is the next subject. I tell him about the beatings, the long days chained up, the dingy mattress, the bucket in the corner… the pain.
As I speak, Hawk scowls but stays silent.
“Wolf says that my father asked him to sneak into Skulls clubhouse to get me out. Right before Wolf saved me, Viper, he…”
“He…” I try to force the words out, but nothing comes. My eyes find Wolf. “He…”
“He forced himself on Angel and got her pregnant,” Wolf says when he realizes I can’t say it. A wave of embarrassment washes over me. What does Hawk think of me? Will he think I was weak?
Biting my lip, I blink several times to push rising tears back. Hawk’s eyes narrow on me, his muscles tense and defined, his hands curled into fists, and his face pulled into hard lines with a thin, tight-lipped mouth.
“A-anyway,” I mumble, wiping away a stray tear. “Wolf helped my dad and his club save me, but everyone died… and I thought Wolf had died.”
I continued to tell him what happened after I found the bike. Hawk listens silently to my explanation of going to Angel Crew’s club, getting money from my dad’s stash, and running. I tell him I drove as long as I could before finding the town I would settle and going through what felt like hundreds of job interviews. Lastly, I told him about finding out I was pregnant a few weeks after settling into my new life.
Finding out I was pregnant was hard to deal with. At first, I didn’t want the baby. I wrestled with the decision of what to do. I had no one to talk to. My family was gone. I had no friends. I had no one.
No one except my baby.
That thought, piled onto the others, is what helped me make my mind up. I wanted someone I can love and take care of that would love me too. I used what little money I could and went to a clinic. At that point, I was 12 weeks along, they said. I was told I would have twins.
Now, I’m glad I didn’t abort my babies. I would have killed two amazing, beautiful children.
“Three years later, I’m here,” I tell Hawk. He stares for a second and then lets out a guttural, growling noise. Before I can say anything, Hawk storms out of the room.
A second later, a loud crash comes from in the living room area.
I leap off my bed and run after him into the living room. Hawk stands with his fist raised, and in a split second, his fist slams into the wall. Darting forward, I throw myself between him and the wall.
“Hawk, st
op!” I shriek, but he doesn’t see me. His fist flies forward.
I close my eyes and drop to the floor, panting.
“No!” Hawk yells. I open my eyes, and he’s kneeling in front of me.
“Hell, Angel,” he curses, “Did I hurt you?” He asks, cupping my cheek. His other hand tenderly moves to check for injuries. I gasp at the warm contact, leaning into his touch. I rarely want men touching me, especially ones that I don’t know very well, but there’s just something about Hawk that is so familiar and safe.
“Answer me, please,” he begs. I shake my head, and he sighs. “Thank god. I’m not- I didn’t mean to-”
“I know,” I whisper, leaning into him. He exhales, pulls me close, and lays his chin on top of my head.
Behind us, Wolf clears his throat. I startle, pulling back. He grins, his eyes moving from me to Hawk. “We should let you get back to sleepin’,” he says, looking between the two of us again.
Nodding, I let Hawk help me stand, and I hide my smile when he kisses my hand. My body warms, and I feel a blush creep up my neck and into my cheeks. This is… unexpected, but I don’t mind it as I would’ve thought.
Surprisingly, as Hawk exits my apartment, I feel loss. I don’t want him to go. At least, I don’t think I do.
~*~
The next morning, I stare at myself in the mirror. My backless halter top beautifully shows off my white with light blue streaked angel wing tattoo painted over my back and down to my waist. My skinny jeans accentuate my long legs. My boots bring the two extra inches of height I like to add to my five-foot four stature.
“Wow!”
I turn to find Lacy standing in my door with wide eyes. I smile at her. Today is my first official day at the bar, so I wanted to look good.
“My brother and Hawk are goin’ to have to beat men off with a stick to keep ‘em away from you,” she giggles, pulling me into a hug. The support she gives me makes my heart melt as I hug her back.
“Why would Hawk care what I wear?” I ask curiously. A little part of me hopes he would care, and another part makes me ask myself why he would even bother. I’m a girl with baggage and a terrible past. Who wants that in their life?
I’m not here for a man. For love. I’m here to care for kids and make a better life for them.
Sighing, I turn to Lacy. “I left grocery money on the counter with the list of what I need. Could you go shopping?” I ask, and she agrees. I take the keys from her hand and kiss Reece and Rosaleigh on their heads.
“I’ll see you two later. Be good. I’ll call you before bedtime. Love you,” I tell them, brushing hair out of both of their faces. They both tell me they’ll be good.
With that said, I head out. I make my way out to my bike and start it up. The familiar rumble and vibrations run through my body as I pull out of the apartment lot. The drive is pleasant. I pass through the town, going by shops and stores.
Before long, I pull up to the Roadhouse. Several bikes are already parked outside the building, all lined up like ducks in a row, with their riders standing near. I park a few spaces away from the other bikes and make my way inside, ignoring the stares of the men watching me.
As I walk in, Wolf waves from the counter.
“Hey,” I greet, shrugging my jacket off, “Um, I was thinking earlier about my- your bike,” I start. Wolf holds his hand up, cutting me off.
“It’s yours now,” he says firmly, leaving no room for discussion. He glances up from the glasses he’s washing and asks, “Are you alright… after last night?”
Sighing, I lean against the counter and cross my arms over my chest. “I’m fine. It happens often,” I tell him, not used to having to answer to someone. Turning away, I grab a glass and start drying it. When it’s dry, I slide it onto the shelf under the counter.
“Hey, beautiful,” someone says from behind me. I turn to see Kayden and Jayden.
“Hey, Jayden. Um… I want to apologize about yesterday,” I tell him, drying another glass. I slide it onto the shelf and look at Jayden.
He smiles and leans on the bar, “It’s cool, but how did you know that it was me?” He asks.
Smiling, I glance at the little mole near his left eye. I wink at him. “I don’t tell my secrets,” I drawl, and he mock scowls.
As men come in the bar, I offer to take their orders because the other waitress hasn’t shown up yet. Wolf hands me a pad and a pen, saying thanks as I walk away to the tables of bikers.
“Hi, my name is Angel and I’ll be your server. What can I get you guys?” I ask as I stop at the first table.
There are four men, probably in their thirties to forties, sitting around the table. I identify two of them as Black Hawk members because of their cuts with the large Black Hawk logo on the back, and the other two aren’t wearing a cut. One of the older men with salt and pepper hair smiles up at me.
“Yeah, girlie, we’ll each have a beer and some of Wolf’s famous roast beef sandwiches,” he answers for all of them. I nod, write the orders down, then head to the next table. I smile when I reach the table which has the twins, Hawk, and a gigantic man with black hair. The large man is the only one of this group I haven’t met. His cut displays the name Reaper.
“Hey, you guys want anything?” I ask, making Hawk look up.
“Yeah, whiskey for me,” he says, then points to the twins, “They’ll have Coke, and we’ll each have a house burger,” Hawk says. He looks to the dark-haired man, “You, Reaper?”
“Beer and a plate of buffalo wings,” he responds curtly. I write everything down and head to the third table.
This table holds six men, and they all have Black Hawk patches on their cuts. They’re older than men who I’d expect to be in a club. If I had to guess, they’re in the club, but not currently riding with the club since they look to be in their fifties and sixties. They all order the same thing the first table ordered; beer and sandwiches. Once I write it down, I head back over to Wolf and give him the orders. He nods and clips the orders to a board so he can see them.
I grab a tray and fill it with beers, two cokes, and a whiskey. I make my way over and put the beers down on the first table. I walk over to table two. The twins take their drinks. I hand Reaper his beer, then I place Hawk’s whiskey in front of him. Then I head to the last table.
Suddenly, a man stands up, but he doesn’t see me, and runs right into me. His body slams into mine, causing me to shriek and drop the tray. My tray and the drinks left on it clatter to the floor as I fall backward.
“Careful,” Hawk whispers, his arms wrapping around me and halting my fall. My grip is tight on his arms as he steadies me.
“Thanks,” I murmur, heat rushing to my face as he looks over me. For a brief second, I realize why he’s called Hawk. He has the kind of gaze that slices through you and makes you feel like he can see into your soul. His chocolate eyes search me, making my blush grow.
I don’t think I’ve blushed this much ever in my life.
Without another word, I scurry back over to the bar where Wolf is waiting with a slight glare directed at the man who bumped into me.
“I’m so sorry, Wolf,” I blurt. Broken glass and spilled drinks lay across the floor. He looks away from the man that ran into me and gives me a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, Angel, it wasn’t your fault.”
“Sorry, Ma’am, I didn’t see you,” the man who knocked me over apologizes, and I nod, looking down. Thankfully, none of the drinks spilled on me. Wolf hands the guy a broom, dustpan, and mop. “Clean it up,” he orders.
Turning to Wolf, I motion to the drinks, “You want me to take them?” I ask, but he shakes his head.
“No, I got it.” With that, he grabs the tray and takes the fresh drinks to the men.
After a while, the tasks become routine. I learn to dodge rowdy men and pour drinks. Wolf shows me how to make the roast beef sandwiches and house burger and the chicken wings. He showed me and then let me make a few of the men’s meals at dinner.
I had no more acci
dents, thank goodness. The men I met were friendly. Throughout the day, I found myself thinking of the Angel Crew. My father would have liked these men, and I think he would’ve been glad I found another club to be around.
When eight o’clock rolls around, I tell Wolf I’m going to take a short break. Dialing Lacy, I step outside and lean against the wall.
The phone rings once, twice, three times before Lacy picks up. “Hi, Angel.”
“Hey, are the kids in bed?” I ask. The twins’ bedtime is anywhere from eight to eight- thirty.
“Not yet. They wanted to talk to you before they went down,” she answers.
“I’d like to talk to them too,” I chuckle, imagining the kids with their arms crossed over their chests and pushing their bottom lips out in a pout.
“I’ll put them on speaker.”
“Mommy, guess what?” Reece is the first to talk.
“What, buddy?” I ask, leaning my head back.
“We went to the stores today, and Lacy got us chocolate!” He shouts, snickering as he does. I smile and shake my head.
“That’s so cool, little man,” I reply. “Where’s your sister?”
“She’s sittin’ right here,” he answers.
“Hi, Mommy,” Rosaleigh giggles. “I got chocolate too.”
“That’s awesome, princess,” I coo. “Mommy just wanted to call and say I love you, and goodnight,” I tell them.
“I love you too,” Rosaleigh says as Reece says, “Love you, Mommy.”
There’s another pause of silence before Lacy speaks, “Okay, well, I’ll go put them in bed and I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Okay, thanks, Lacy. Bye.”
With that said, we both hang up. I push off the wall.
Back inside, Wolf motions me over. I make my way to the bar and lean against it. “Whacha need, boss?” I tease, making him chuckle. He hands me a glass.
“I need to run and get something from back. Can you wash and put these glasses away?” Wolf asks, pointing to the stack of glasses in the sink. I nod, move around him, and start washing.
There are three men left in the bar. Two are playing pool at a table in the back, and then there’s Hawk. He’s sitting alone. I look away and continue working on the glasses, so he doesn’t see me staring. I wash the glasses and place them aside until I’ve washed them all, then I take a towel and wipe them down.
Emerald Page 4
