One To Watch: this summer's must-read romcom to fill the Love Island-shaped hole in your life

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One To Watch: this summer's must-read romcom to fill the Love Island-shaped hole in your life Page 34

by Kate Stayman-London


  Not so Ray, who has proven a shocking and volatile presence from the moment he stepped into the kiss-off ceremony in Amboise. As the second man out of the limo, viewers at home presumed Ray and Bea would be getting engaged—as did Ray himself, when he got down on one knee and proposed using the three-carat cushion-cut diamond Bea had selected from celebrity jeweler Nils van der Hoeven earlier that day. But Bea told Ray that as much as she’d once dreamed of a life together, she now had other, bigger dreams—ones that didn’t include a man who’d hurt her so badly for so long. (And instead of calling her parents to announce her engagement, we got to see Bea call her best friend Marin to apologize and tell her she’d been right about Ray all along—a vindicating and relatable moment for best friends the world over.)

  The response to the finale on Twitter was fast and furious, with fans and celebs alike weighing in to support Bea as the first ever female Main Squeeze to turn down both of her final two suitors. So what’s next for Bea? We’ll have to wait for next month’s live reunion special to get all the details, but People will bring you more news as it breaks. For now, we wish Main Squeeze’s most controversial leading lady all the happiness in the world.

  BLOG POST FROM OMBEA.COM

  137,418 Reblogs . 281,927 Likes

  Oh hi there, OMBeauties! I haven’t seen you in a hot minute, and I’ve missed you!! So, tell me everything. How’s your spring going? You showing off your flirtiest little dresses? As for me, you know, not much is new. Okay, okay, just kidding, my entire life has been turned upside down and shaken miserably, gloriously around again, but after all that, I’m back home and thrilled to be here. It feels like everything is the same and absolutely nothing is, in the best, most exciting way—I can’t wait to tell you more about the projects I’m lining up next.

  For now, I want to let you know that I’m going to be taking a little break from this blog. So much of what I do here is share the details of my life with you—my plans, my outfits, my hopes, my hottest takes. I have always considered it a privilege that you’d want to hang around with me for all that, and I can never express how grateful I’ve been for your support. Especially during the insanity of the last two months, knowing you were out there watching me, rooting for me, and sticking by me despite my (many) mistakes made all the difference.

  Main Squeeze was an intense experience, and sometime soon, I’ll figure out what I want to say about it, and how. For now, I’m excited to take a breath, to NOT have every second of my life available for public consumption for a minute, and to figure out what comes next.

  Sending you all the love and sequins in the universe.

  xoxo, Bea

  Comment from MattyMorgan921: What are the projects???? TELL US THE PROJECTS!!!!! (crosses fingers for remake of Splash starring Channing Tatum and mermaid Bea????)

  Comment from djgy23987359: hi bea youre probably still gonna die soon bc your so fat but good job on that show, maybe look into weight watchers???

  Reply from DrKamler32998: did you even WATCH episode 2? Obesity isn’t causally associated with most/any deadly diseases

  Comment from Steven929: Bea if you’re happy being single, that’s great and everything, but honestly, maybe still call Chris Evans? The guy seems really upset. Just a thought. Congrats!

  TEXT MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT, MAY 2:

  BEA SCHUMACHER & MARIN MENDOZA

  Marin [2:28pm]: Hey, have you left yet? I’m running so behind!!!

  Bea [2:30pm]: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!! David just told us he learned to twerk, and he’s going to show us?? Marin he’s so drunk it’s going to be AWFUL

  Marin [2:31pm]: NO! Did Sharon make that sangria again?? That stuff is so dangerous

  Bea [2:35pm]: 1) she did 2) I’m wasted 3) would it be a terrible idea for me to make out with Sneha’s hot cousin?

  Marin [2:36pm]: Boy cousin or girl cousin

  Bea [2:36pm]: Boy cousin I’m still straight Mar

  Marin [2:37pm]: Cool then he’s all yours!!!! As long as no one’s leaking anything to the press, GO FORTH!!!!

  Bea [2:37pm]: I’m not really gonna make out with him

  Marin [2:38pm]: I know, babe. But you COULD

  Bea [2:39pm]: CORRECT, I COULD

  Marin [2:42pm]: Ok getting in a car see you soon tell David not to twerk until I get there!!!!!!

  Bea [2:47pm]: Too late he just did and it was art

  ——-Forwarded Message——-

  FROM: Olivia Smythson, The Agency

  TO: Bea Schumacher

  SUBJECT: RE: Projects

  Hey, Bea! Just want to do a quick rundown of where we stand on various projects—your call with CondéNast is SET for Thursday, and Jenna Lyons is going to be in town next week, she wants to know if you’re avail on Wednesday to talk potential collabs? Katy and Corey will email you to set it up. We’re also fielding calls from several publishers about a memoir, but I’ve told them all you aren’t ready for that. Any thoughts on a bone we could throw them in the meantime? A fashion handbook, something like that? Just spitballing here, you’re the creative!

  And just to double-check, you’re sure you don’t want to do anything else in television?? I have to tell you, Bea, I’m getting more calls than I know what to do with. Would you remotely consider being a substitute host on The View? Call me when you can!

  P.S. I know you’re taking a “break” from social media, but can you PLEASE post at least one Insta story a week? We’ve got to keep your engagement metrics up, or all these new followers will be for NOTHING! Thanks, Bea!

  SCRIPT OF MAIN SQUEEZE PROMOTIONAL AD RELEASED IN ADVANCE OF SEASON 14 REUNION SPECIAL

  OVER FOOTAGE OF THE PARIS SKYLINE AT SUNSET, WE HEAR A VOICE—

  VOICEOVER

  One month ago in Paris, not one, but two men were ready to marry Bea Schumacher.

  INSERT FOOTAGE: SAM AND BEA ON THE PONT DES ARTS

  SAM

  I love you, Bea. I want to spend my life with you.

  INSERT FOOTAGE: RAY DOWN ON ONE KNEE

  RAY

  Bea, will you marry me?

  ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS AS WE PUSH IN ON BEA’S FACE—BUT THEN WE FREEZE-FRAME AND—

  SFX: RECORD SCRATCH

  VOICEOVER

  But she turned them BOTH down.

  SMASH CUT TO A RAPID MONTAGE OF FOOTAGE FROM THROUGHOUT THE SEASON OVER UPBEAT MUSIC

  VOICEOVER

  This Monday, on the LIVE Main Squeeze Reunion Special, we’ll answer all your burning questions. Why did Bea turn down Sam and Ray? Have they forgiven her? Has she forgiven Luc? And what will she say when she sees Asher for the first time since he left the show?

  INSERT FOOTAGE: BEA, ASHER, GWEN & LINUS LAUGHING OVER DINNER

  VOICEOVER

  Don’t miss a moment of the dramatic Main Squeeze Reunion Special, this Monday night at eight, only on ABS.

  Life back in Los Angeles was a little like a parallel universe, one where Bea was mostly the same person, where not many things had changed, but where strangers occasionally gave her odd looks of recognition, and rarely went so far as to offer unsolicited opinions on her romantic choices. Bea didn’t frequent the kinds of bars or restaurants where having been on reality television would entitle one to skip the line, much to Marin’s chagrin. These days, Bea preferred to lie low; avoiding crowded places and staying as far from social media as her agent would allow, relishing the actual, real-life company of her actual, real-life friends. She hadn’t watched any of the episodes of her season yet, even though they were all right there waiting. For now, she was happy to be back in her own house, her own clothes, her own bed.

  But as the reunion show neared, one month to the day after the finale, public interest in Bea’s life started to perk up again, and Bea felt the familiar nerves return. It was nothing close to the anxiety she’d felt prior to and during her season, but she thought over and over about what it would be like seeing so many of these men for the first time since filming ended—Luc, Sam, Ra
y, and, if he showed up, Asher.

  There wasn’t a thing she could do to stop her racing thoughts—but at least she got to bring Marin along for moral support, and the network sent a plush black SUV to chauffeur them to the studio in Burbank.

  “Who are you most nervous to see?” Marin asked, helping herself to some M&M’s from the car’s minibar. “Ray or Asher?”

  “Asher’s not coming,” Bea said quickly.

  “You don’t know that for sure. TMZ said he might be there.”

  “Last I heard, he hasn’t been responding to any of the producers’ emails. They say he’s in breach of contract.”

  “Seriously? Do you think they’ll sue him?”

  “No, that was just a useful threat to make sure I didn’t shut down production. I don’t think they’d bother over whether he shows up for one reunion show.”

  Bea’s tone was casual, but the truth was that she thought about Asher more than she liked—when she read something funny, when she wore anything leopard-print, when she stopped into Sephora and found herself browsing for things Linus might like. As angry as she still felt about the way he’d abandoned her at the first sign of trouble, she found she missed him even more. She’d asked Alison to look into whether he’d be coming to the reunion, which was how she found out he’d cut off contact with the production staff entirely. That was that—he couldn’t possibly send a clearer signal that he had absolutely no interest in seeing her again. It stung—and badly—but Bea knew that if she could get over Ray, she could get past Asher too.

  “Serious question, though,” Marin deadpanned, aiming to lighten the mood, “can I punch Ray when you see him?”

  “Marin!” Bea laughed.

  “Not like a Krav Maga hit—just a gentle CrossFit hook! Please?”

  “He got down on one knee on national television and I said I’d rather be alone than marry him. Isn’t it possible he already got his comeuppance?”

  Marin scowled. “Not even close.”

  Once they arrived at the studio, things moved quickly: Bea was back in the hair-and-makeup chair, then off to wardrobe, where Alison dressed her in a custom Jason Wu tuxedo with slim pants, long lapels, and a sheer chiffon camisole that gave the illusion Bea was wearing nothing at all underneath. Her hair was styled in a sleek chignon, her eyes were rimmed with black kohl, and her five-inch black-patent Manolos were completely impossible to walk in. In short, Bea looked like a fierce boss bitch—the total opposite of a typical Main Squeeze reunion show look, which was something soft and white and lacy that suggested a glowing bride-to-be.

  “Wow,” Marin enthused, “if any of these men didn’t regret losing you already, they’re really going to now.”

  “Right?” Alison grinned. “My work here is done.”

  “Ugh,” Bea sighed, “your work literally is done.”

  “Nuh-uh, I’m styling you forever.” Alison gave Bea a warm hug, then turned to Marin. “Where are you watching the show? Up in the audience?”

  “Oh, I guess.” Bea didn’t miss Marin’s affected nonchalance. “Bea, is that right?”

  “You can watch wherever you like,” Bea said pointedly. “Do you want to hang with Alison in the green room?”

  “I mean, sure, if that’d be cool with you?” Marin turned to Alison, who smiled coyly.

  Well, Bea thought, maybe someone will find love from my time on this show after all.

  But before she could poke any further fun at her two friends, a producer came to grab her—the audience was seated, and it was nearly 5 P.M. Pacific, 8 P.M. Eastern. Time for the show to begin.

  @Reali-Tea Okay shippers & sippers, are you ready for the big @MainSqueezeABS reunion show?? Tweet along as we find out the dirty dish on how that finale really went down.

  @Reali-Tea Here’s Johnny to intro a blooper reel of all the men being idiots in the house, snore. How many times can I watch Trevor get wasted and fall off the diving board?

  @Reali-Tea Omfg, they’re making all the personal trainers (Kumal, Ben K., and I want to say Ben Q.? maybe?) take a quiz about fatphobia and every time they get one wrong they have to do 10 push-ups hahahahaha I love this show so much

  @Reali-Tea OH SHIT they brought Ben G.’s kindergarten class to teach Jefferson why it’s bad to be a bully!!!

  @Reali-Tea Boss little girl: “Jefferson, do you think it’s okay to be mean to people?”

  Jefferson: …

  BLG: “Well, if you don’t think it’s okay, then why were you mean to Bea?”

  Jefferson: …

  Tiny boy w/glasses: “My mom said that bullies hate themselves. Do you hate yourself?”

  @Reali-Tea They’re making Jefferson take Michelle Obama’s anti-bullying pledge. Y’all, I will go to my grave stanning this show, I swear to god.

  @Reali-Tea Awwwww, it’s Wyatt!! Hey boo! He’s thanking @ombea and all of us for accepting him for who he is, I am cry

  @Reali-Tea Johnny’s telling Wyatt they have a surprise guest to see him???

  @Reali-Tea SHUT UP IT’S WYATT’S MOM HATTIE!!!!! She says she loves him and she’s proud he came out, she thinks they should get another set of matching tattoos. Tattoo this family on my face tbqh HATTIE PLS ADOPT ME.

  @Reali-Tea Okay, first half of the show is OVER! Queen @ombea herself coming out after the break, so grab your mugs now, because you KNOW she’s about to serve some tea.

  “Hey, stranger.” Lauren grinned at Bea—she was waiting beside the stage door, where Bea would be making her big entrance after the commercial break.

  “Hi!” Bea was surprised to see her. “I thought you’d be in the booth with the director?”

  “I’m going back in a second,” Lauren explained, “but I wanted to see you before you head out there. How’ve you been? Single life agree with you?”

  “Right, something new and different.” Bea laughed. “But I have to say, it’s exhilarating to wake up every morning and know there’s not a single man whose emotional turmoil is my responsibility.”

  “See?” Lauren grinned. “You’re coming around to my way of thinking.”

  “Really?” Bea was skeptical. “After everything we went through this season, you still have absolutely no interest in finding love?”

  “Definitely not,” Lauren scoffed. “I mean, you saw the choices I make—Luc, of all people. No one should let me anywhere near a relationship, even if I did want one, you know?”

  Bea recalled the first time she’d met Lauren, how envious she’d been of her disaffected attitude toward romance, wishing she could be equally blasé so she wouldn’t have to experience the excruciating pain of heartbreak. But now, she found she felt the opposite. Maybe Lauren really didn’t want a relationship, or maybe she was putting up a front to protect her own heart (Bea strongly suspected the latter). Either way, Bea had no desire to go backward. She treasured the openness, vulnerability, and wild possibility her life held now, and she wouldn’t trade that for anything, no matter how much it had cost to get here.

  “Hey,” Lauren interrupted her thoughts, “did I do the right thing, asking you to do this? Did you do the right thing, saying yes?”

  “Definitely.” Bea nodded. “At the very least, you did exactly what I hoped you’d do.”

  “What’s that?”

  Lauren looked puzzled, and Bea grinned warmly at her producer. “You changed my life.”

  “Bea?” the stage manager called. “You’re on in thirty!”

  He started counting down, and Lauren gave Bea’s hand a quick squeeze before she sprinted off toward the booth. As the cameras went live, Bea walked through the stage door and into a blazing spotlight—she waved and smiled, but she couldn’t see a damn thing. The audience roar was absolutely deafening; Bea had never experienced anything like it in her life. They were cheering and stomping and screaming her name, and Johnny came to guide her to the stage in the middle of the studio, where the infamous Main Squeeze couch awaited her.

  “Wow,” Johnny said, once the screaming of the crowd had finally aba
ted, “I don’t know that any Main Squeeze has ever gotten a reception like that one!”

  That started the crowd cheering again.

  “Thank you!” Bea exclaimed. “Honestly, it means so much to me that you’re here, and to have your support.”

  “Let’s talk about that, Bea.” Johnny steered the conversation to the list of topics the producers had prepped for her. “What has all the public controversy around your season been like for you?”

  “Obviously, some people didn’t think I looked the part of a romantic leading lady”—boos from the crowd—“but I knew that would be the case going into this. It’s one of the reasons I said yes to being on this show.”

  “You said yes because you knew some people would object?”

  “I wanted to prove that I had every right to be here,” Bea answered. “That I could star in a show about love just like any other woman.”

  “How do you think that worked out, given that you were the first female Main Squeeze in history to turn down two proposals?”

  Bea laughed. “I guess I showed that I deserve love and to be picky about it.”

  The audience laughed, and applauded too.

  “You talked about how the audience saw you—but what about how you see yourself? Did the show change that?”

  “Yes,” Bea said, “definitely. The show took so many unexpected turns for me, right from the moment the first man stepped onstage the very first night. Seeing all these men who did conform to conventional ideals of what makes someone attractive—I was humiliated. Obviously, some of those men gave me reason to believe that they found me repulsive. And I’m ashamed to say this, but I think it’s important to be honest: There were moments when I believed them. I felt myself being dragged under by every bad thing that’s ever been said about me, and worse, every bad thing I’ve ever thought about myself.”

 

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