by Liz Isaacson
“Do you at least know when she’ll be back?” Scarlett asked. “With the holiday and everything, I’m afraid she’ll miss the deadline.”
Sawyer hadn’t talked with her about her specific plans, but if she was making the trip up to see her son and ex-husband, he suspected she’d be gone for several days. “My best guess is a week or so,” he said.
“She’ll miss the deadline.” Scarlett heaved another sigh and looked toward the exit of the ranch. “Do you think you could call her?”
“What makes you think she’ll pick up a call from me?” he asked. “We haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving.” His chest pinched and pitched, and he had a hard time getting a decent breath.
“She’ll think it’s important,” Cache said. “Right, Scarlett?”
“What are you doing?” Sawyer asked his friend. “I’m not doing this.” He turned and walked away from both of them, very aware of Scarlett’s higher pitched voice saying something to Cache. He didn’t care. He wasn’t going to call Jeri, and he certainly wasn’t going to go to Eugene.
He avoided the cow pies as he marched back to the trailer Cache had pulled right into the center of the field. He didn’t care if he roasted to death in the cab, with the scent of manured dairy cows as the only smell. It would be better than continuing that conversation.
Thankfully, he’d barely pulled himself into the truck when Cache opened the driver’s door and got behind the wheel. “Sorry,” he said. “I mean, I knew you and Jeri were going through a rough patch. I didn’t know you hadn’t talked to her since Thanksgiving.”
Sawyer grunted, just wanting to get these cows moved so he could go home. Cache drove over the bumpy pasture and out onto the flatter road. He eased past the homestead and Scarlett walking back toward it and turned left toward the llamas and the new pasture they’d spent the morning fencing.
Twenty minutes later, the dairy cows had a new field of grass to munch on, and Sawyer was on his way home. As he stood in the shower, he couldn’t help think about Jeri and how things were going with her son.
Without thinking too hard about it, with his towel still wrapped around his waist, he fired off a quick text.
Thinking about you. Hope things go okay with Randy.
That was simple, he thought. It wasn’t too forward, he reasoned. He was thinking about her, he told himself.
Then he left his phone in his bedroom while he went to get something to eat with the other cowboys and then went back to Cache’s for band practice.
After all, he didn’t need another vein opened when Jeri ignored him and didn’t text back. He could save that bleeding for bedtime.
When Sawyer returned to his cabin, he let Blue out the back door while he switched on the light that his dog probably didn’t need.
From somewhere in the depths of his cabin, his phone chimed, causing his heart to crash against his ribcage. No wonder he hadn’t taken it with him. He’d have been a nervous wreck all night, constantly checking it even when it stayed silent.
He glanced at Blue, who seemed to be sniffing around like the spot he chose was life or death, so Sawyer left the door open a crack and went to get his phone.
He indeed had texts, and he swiped to unlock his device.
“Just one text,” he muttered, tapping.
But the one text was from Jeri, and she’d said, It went okay. Would’ve been better if I’d brought a bird house with me.
His eyebrows crinkled together, his memory tugging at something from months ago. “Bird house?” he asked the empty bedroom. “What does that mean?”
Blue came up beside him, and Sawyer looked at the dog. “What does that mean?” he asked the canine, who circled and laid down at his feet. So not helpful.
The text was from a couple of hours ago too, and Sawyer wasn’t sure if he could message her back now, as late as it was. He turned to go into the kitchen, his brain working overtime to decode the message.
Decode.
Code word.
He and Jeri had decided on a code word months ago, in case she needed rescuing from his mother at the beach picnic. They’d never used it that day, nor in any of the days since.
Bird house.
“She needs rescuing,” he said to himself, his feet frozen to the floor in the hallway. His heart seemed to grow two sizes as it bobbed in the back of his throat.
She needed him, and she’d asked him to come in a strange way, sure. But probably the only way she could at the moment.
Sawyer spun and strode back into his bedroom. He had a suitcase around here somewhere. He could pack tonight. Get his laptop out and get an airplane ticket. Show up and…he had no idea after that.
Maybe he didn’t need to know after that. Maybe he should do what he should’ve done all along—trust Jeri and give her the time she needed.
“All right,” he said, finally locating the dusty carryon bag underneath his bed. He opened it and looked at Blue. “I’m going to be so thrashed in the morning, aren’t I?”
After all, he had to pack. Get a flight. Find a dogsitter for Blue. Explain to Scarlett.
Pack. Flight. Dogsitter. Scarlett.
He recited the words as he stepped over to his closet, ready to do anything to get Jeri back into his life. Maybe Scarlett and Cache had planted a seed earlier that day. Maybe the Lord had softened his heart—and hers. Maybe maybe maybe.
“Thank you for prompting me to text her.” He hoped whispered prayers made it to God’s ears as easily as spoken ones, because he could really use the divine help about now. “Help me to know how to help her. Bring her back to me.”
Pack. Flight. Dogsitter. Scarlett.
And then…Jeri.
Chapter 21
Jeri woke early the next morning, the scent in her hotel room a bit…off. Something like too much mold or mildew, though her room had been spotless when she’d checked-in. Her phone sat on the nightstand, no flashing lights in sight.
Sawyer hadn’t texted back.
Her whole soul felt heavy, despite the great conversation with Randy last night.
“I wouldn’t call it great,” she muttered to herself as she went to get in the shower. They’d embraced, sure. He was all grown up, and her social media stalking of her son hadn’t done justice to seeing him in person.
He was so tall, like his father, but he had her eyes, her nose, and her quick wit and fiery spirit. At least she liked to think he did.
Their conversation was stilted at best, and he kept letting his phone interrupt him. About the time Jeri was going to declare the whole thing a mistake and excuse herself, Sawyer’s text had come in.
Randy had asked about it, and she’d spent several minutes talking about Sawyer and her life at Last Chance Ranch. Everything had improved from there. Randy opened up about school, where he was studying business management and construction management. His end goal was to be a general contractor, and Jeri’s whole heart felt like it had been injected with life again.
She told him about her own business, but Randy hadn’t seemed that impressed. He’d gone sort of distant during the few minutes she spoke of what she’d spent her life doing, and she realized now that he probably thought she’d chosen her career over him.
Out of the shower, she couldn’t remember if she’d washed her hair. There was so much going on, and she needed someone to help shoulder this load.
Not just someone.
Sawyer.
Why hadn’t he texted back last night? She’d responded immediately, and unless he’d flipped his phone over and walked away from it, he should’ve seen it. Heard it. Something.
Her frustration coiled through her again, ready to strike.
She drew in a deep breath and looked at herself in the steamy hotel mirror. “Focus,” she whispered. “One thing at a time.”
She didn’t need to see Howie again. Something had healed between them when he’d apologized and admitted he was wrong. She’d done plenty wrong too, but she knew how to inspect a building, make sure all the pipes w
ent to all the right places, how to make sure the foundation and walls were strong and tight.
Yes, she and Randy were broken down. Abandoned. A bit tarnished. But just like she’d told Karla about the administration building, the bones were good.
At least she hoped they were. He’d invited her to lunch with his girlfriend that day, and Jeri had readily agreed to go. He hadn’t said much about her the previous night, and she knew why. She’d been gone for a long time, and she didn’t get to know everything and be involved with everything right away.
There was trust to be earned. Love to develop. Friendship to cultivate.
And she had six days left.
She sighed, the burden on her shoulders almost too much to carry. But carry it, she would. She’d done some crazy things in her life, and she actually craved the slower pace at the ranch. Jeri wanted to stay there for another project, and Scarlett had texted and called all day yesterday to tell her about the bid deadline for the administration complex build.
Jeri had meant to put together a bid and submit it, but somehow, it had got lost in the emotional turmoil of the last month. But, she had a computer with her, and she could get it done this morning before lunch with her son.
She sent a quick text to Scarlett to let her know to watch for the bid to come in later that day, and she got the idea to show it to Randy during their lunch. Her soul warmed as she sat down at her laptop and began to work.
It felt good to be working toward another goal. To have another project in her sights. She didn’t want to drift anymore, and she realized that was what she’d been doing for a long time—even before she and Sawyer had lost their minds and gotten married.
With the proposal nearly finished, she went downstairs to the business center in the hotel and printed it. She could easily fold the pages and tuck them into her purse, waiting for the right moment to show them to her son.
She still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to see her. She hadn’t been brave enough to ask him why he refused her phone calls for all those years, but Howie said he’d shut him out too. Randy definitely carried anger around with him, and all Jeri could do as she left her hotel to go meet him for lunch was pray for him.
The chime on the deli’s door grated against Jeri’s nerves. Randy and his girlfriend were late, and Jeri’s stomach was especially upset about it. It cramped and ached, like someone was digging a very large pit inside it.
Had she been stood up? Duped? Ghosted?
Abandoned.
Her heart joined the depression train, speeding up and then slowing down. And every time that stupid chime sounded and Randy didn’t walk in, she wanted to storm out.
Another ten minutes passed, and Jeri had cycled through dozens of emotions. She told herself she’d leave after the next person entered, and at this very busy lunchtime, that would only be a few seconds.
Sure enough, the door chimed and a man walked in. A man that was not her son.
But a man she knew….
Surprise and fear glued her to her seat. “Sawyer.” His name fell from her lips in a whisper, and she blinked, sure she wasn’t seeing things right. But she had to be. After all, not a single person who’d walked through that door had been wearing a cowboy hat, and Sawyer stuck out.
Everything in the deli quieted as he first scanned the line and then the shop. She pushed to her feet without specific thought to do so. Her body seemed to be reacting by itself, her brain on a temporary vacation.
She lifted her hand. Called, “Sawyer.”
Their eyes met, and though the chime sounded again, this time, it didn’t bother Jeri. How long it took for Sawyer to reach her did bother her, and the fact that he didn’t sweep her into his arms and kiss her bothered her a whole lot too.
He stood on the other side of the table, the noise rushing back into her ears as she continued to stare at him. “I can’t…what are you doing here?”
“You said you needed me,” he said, real low, the words almost getting lost in the lunchtime chatter.
She had said that. He’d interpreted it correctly. She had no idea why she needed him, only that she did, and before she knew it, he’d stepped around the table and lifted his hand to her face.
He wiped a tear she hadn’t known had spilled out and said, “It’s okay, Jeri.”
She shook her head. “Nothing’s okay.”
“Well, isn’t that why you’re here? To fix a few things?”
Foolishness raced through her. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have asked you to marry me. I shouldn’t have left my son all those years ago. Everything that’s happened the last few months has been wrong.” She became aware she was babbling and crying, and people were starting to look at her.
Sawyer shook his head and leaned in, effectively blocking her view of the rest of the crowd in the shop. “Mistakes have been made, but the last few months of my life have been the best ones.”
Jeri searched his face, trying to find any hint of untruth. She couldn’t, and that almost scared her as much as being ghosted by her son. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Do you love me?” Sawyer asked, the bite of a challenge in his tone.
She’d never told him she loved him. He’d only said those three little words to her once. She’d always believed that actions spoke louder than words, and she’d lived with Sawyer for three weeks as his wife. How could he not know?
“Jeri,” he said in a freakishly calm voice. “I need to know.”
She nodded, deciding to pair the action with words, so he really would know. “Yes,” she said. “I love you.”
He ducked his head in that adorable way, a smile touching his mouth. When he looked up at her again, new hope shone in his eyes. “I love you, too.” He inched forward, though he was already pretty much crowding her personal space. “And I want to work things out. Work on us. I’m not walking away.”
The fire in his words wasn’t lost on her.
“Are you going to walk away?” he asked.
Images from her life flashed through her eyes. She’d walked away when she should’ve stayed—with Randy, with her family, with her business.
“No,” she said, feeling strong and powerful. “I’m not going to walk away.”
Sawyer smiled and swept his cowboy hat off his head, revealing that he’d gone back to his short haircut. “Can I kiss you now?”
Jeri leaned forward and kissed him, very aware of the cheer that went up in the deli. She giggled against his lips, their kiss sloppy and misaligned. He broke their connection, his smile so wide and so genuine, and turned to the shop. His fingers found hers and he squeezed. “She said she loves me,” he called to the perfect strangers who happened to be eating in the deli.
The lunch crowd clapped, and Jeri couldn’t help smiling back at all the grinning people she didn’t know.
“Okay,” Sawyer said, finally sitting down beside her at the table for four. “Let me just send a quick text….” He released her hand and pulled out his phone. A few taps, and he focused on her again. “I hope you can forgive me.”
“For what?” By her count, she was the one who needed all the forgiveness.
He nodded toward the door. “I delayed them.”
Randy had entered the shop, and in the three seconds it took him to scan and find them, Jeri’s whole soul had come to life. She stood to receive her son, who hugged her and glanced at Sawyer.
“All good?” he asked, his voice so deep and so foreign in her ears.
“Starting,” Sawyer said as Randy stepped back. “Have to start somewhere, you know?” It seemed like Sawyer was saying more than just words, but Jeri couldn’t figure them out.
A pretty blonde woman stood a half-step behind Randy, and he brought her forward. “This is Pearl Stansfield,” he said. “She’s my girlfriend. Pearl, my mother, Jeri, and her boyfriend, Sawyer.”
Pearl smiled at everyone, and Jeri’s emotions couldn’t be contained. She hugged the woman as if they’d be best friends by the end of lunch. Th
ey all sat down and started chatting, only pausing when the waitress came to get their sandwich orders.
Nothing was perfect by the end of the lunch hour. World peace hadn’t been achieved. Her relationship with Randy wasn’t completely fixed. Nor was the one with Sawyer. But the healing process has been started, and as Sawyer had said, Jeri had to start somewhere.
Chapter 22
“He did what?” Sawyer stared out the dingy hotel window as Cache told him again that Blue had tried to eat one of Jeri’s chickens. “That’s so strange. He’s lived next door to those chickens for months and months. I wonder what’s come over him.”
“I don’t know,” Cache said. “We got it away from him, and the bird looks like it’ll be okay. I put them both in the coop with the others by the horse barn.”
“Good idea,” Sawyer said.
“How’d things go with Jeri?”
“Okay.” He sighed. Lunch had gone great, in his opinion. But he wasn’t trying to make up for fifteen lost years and heal so much hurt. “I talked to her, and she didn’t walk away.”
I’m not going to walk away.
Sawyer had thought I love you would be the best words on earth, especially coming from Jeri’s mouth. But he’d been wrong. I’m not going to walk away was so much better.
“We’re going to dinner tonight,” he said. “It’s supposed to be crazy.”
“Yeah, it’s almost Christmas,” Cache said. Other voices came through the line, and he added, “Hey, I have to go. The band’s here.”
“Is that Sawyer?” Dave asked, and then he was on the line. “I can’t believe you left us,” he said, but his voice carried humor and heart. “Our sound sucks without you.”
“And our vocals are all off,” Lance called.
“So make up with Jeri and get home already,” Dave said while Lance and Cache laughed about something somewhere off the line.
Sawyer chuckled too. “I’m working on it,” he said. The call ended, with one word stuck in Sawyer’s head.
