She unwrapped the candy and took a bite, enjoying the sweet cream center and the slow-melting chocolate.
The egg left her perplexed. She didn’t know if the treat was an apology, a peace offering, or a parting gift. There was no way for her to know where Eli’s head was, because he didn’t talk to her.
The egg did, however, prove one thing: Natalie was a sucker for Easter candy.
Chapter 3
Later that afternoon, Eli took the state road into Snow Valley at five under the speed limit. The sun blinding off the melting snow did nothing to soften the grumpiness he had burrowed himself into. What a waste of a day. He’d driven over an hour, had a third interview with the president of the company, and got a call on the way home informing him that he’d been one of their top three picks. In the end, they’d decided to go with someone else.
He’d stared at the cheap, pay-per-use phone they’d picked up so potential employers could reach him at all times, wondering if Dave, his interviewer, really believed that telling him he came in third was some kind of consolation. Third place didn’t pay the bills. Third place was as bad as tenth or twentieth place. In no way did Eli feel cool or satisfied with third place. Third place sucked!
The worst part of his day was yet to come. The worst was having to face Natalie. She’d look at him with guarded enthusiasm and hold her breath in that adorable way she had, and he’d have to deliver a blow once again. He pounded the steering wheel. Whoever said life was fair was a dirt bag.
What really irked him, though, was God.
Eli grew up going to church. Last he checked, he kept the commandments.
Thou shalt not kill. Check.
Thou shalt not worship false gods. Check
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Check.
Thou shalt not steal. Check.
Check.
Check.
Check.
He was a good guy. So why couldn’t one interview go his way? He wasn’t asking for a lot—a job to support his family would do fine. He wasn’t even asking for a ton of money, to win the lottery, or to have an inheritance drop in his lap. He wanted to buy milk without emptying his wallet, and to see Natalie’s smile without the stress. The small jobs he got here and there helped, and he was grateful for them; they just weren’t enough, which in turn made him feel like he wasn’t enough.
As he pulled into town, he saw Natalie headed in the opposite direction, two curly-headed girls in the back seat of their old Ford Taurus.
Right. Hailey.
Eli rubbed his gut. He hated letting Hailey down. She’d planned this trip a week ago, and he’d blown it off without so much as an explanation to her. Secretly, he’d hoped to come home and announce his new position and see the joy and forgiveness on her face. Now, all she’d remember was that her mom was there and he wasn’t. He’d broken a promise to his little girl.
Maybe he wasn’t such a good guy after all.
Eli glanced left and saw Aunt Sophie’s mailbox overflowing with several days’ worth of junk mail. Eli flipped on his blinker and made the turn. Parking on the side of the road, he climbed out and emptied her mailbox into his arms.
Aunt Sophie’s neighbor and Snow Valley legend, Buster Write, waved from across the street. He had on army-green pants, a red flannel shirt, and yellow suspenders sporting tape measure marks. Atop his head was a fur-lined duck hunting cap complete with flaps. Eli waved back, smiling at the man’s Elmer Fudd fashion. Natalie insisted Buster was a harmless guy, full of quirks, and she had no trouble letting the kids follow him around when they were younger. Eli found it best to be on good terms with a guy who owned a working WWII cannon, which he fired regularly. Still, Buster was one of Aunt Sophie’s good friends, and he shoveled her walk every winter.
The three concrete steps leading up to Aunt Sophie’s front door weren’t hard for him to manage. He glared at them anyway, because for an eighty-four-year-old woman they might as well be Everest. He and Ryan would build her a new set if Aunt Sophie could afford the supplies. Looking up at the beautiful blue Montana sky, Eli decided to hold off. With it being the end of February, there might be a snowstorm or two left in the forecast.
“Aunt Sophie, I’ve brought your mail,” called Eli as the door banged shut behind him. There was no need to knock at Aunt Sophie’s house. She rarely heard the door, and when she did, she’d yell “It’s open!”
“I’m in the kitchen,” came her tired reply.
He wiped his boots on the braided and faded rug before tromping through the small farmhouse to the kitchen in the back, his steps echoed on the wooden floor.
Aunt Sophie had once been tall, the top of her head at Eli’s eye level. Time and hard work had shrunk her down to where she tucked under his chin when he hugged her hello. Which he did now. Even though Eli wasn’t a Snow Valley native, the place felt like home, and Aunt Sophie was a big part of that. She loved him like she had raised him, and Eli often wished she had. “You’re looking good today.”
She pinned him with a stare. “I look old and I feel old, but that’s not going to change. At least, I hope not. The alternative isn’t pleasant.”
“I don’t suppose it is. Where do you want your mail?”
“Throw that junk in the garbage. Anything important I can look up on the computer.”
Eli glanced through the pile. “Here, Tillie Cooper sent you a card.”
“Darned fool. I should be the one sending her a card. You heard about her knee?”
Eli nodded. “Total replacement.”
She ripped open the envelope and pulled out the note.
Eli set the stack of papers on the counter. He couldn’t bring himself to throw the mail away. If Aunt Sophie wanted to, that was her business.
Setting the card on the table, Aunt Sophie asked, “How’s my girl?”
“Natalie’s fine. She’s on her way to the mall with Hailey and a friend.”
She offered a kind smile. “That’s good. Women need to spend time with women. You boys are great, but sometimes we need a break.”
Scratching the back of his neck, Eli mused, “Seems like she’s taking a lot of breaks lately.” Natalie was hardly home. He knew his desire was archaic— to enjoy walking through the front door and into a woman’s welcoming arms set him back a hundred and fifty years. However, there was something about Natalie’s smile, her soft skin, and the first kiss each evening that gave him strength. Having his wife work was an adjustment, like the first time he wore shorts each year. He felt exposed and the cool air on his skin wasn’t always comfortable. He’d taken pride in being the sole provider for his family, and seeing Natalie’s smile at the end of every day made whatever crap he had to deal with on the job completely worth it.
“She works too much.”
Feeling defensive, Eli replied, “I don’t recall taking breaks all that often when I worked full time.”
Aunt Sophie placed a hand on his arm. Her skin felt like tissue paper, soft and easily torn. Yet the woman wasn’t fragile in spirit. “That’s because she was at home managing the house and kids; it’s a full-time job. What she did allowed you to focus.”
Eli thought back to the first few days he’d been home after he was laid off. He was shocked at how many times he had to wipe off the kitchen counter during the course of the day to stay ahead of the crumbs. And no matter how many times he walked past the calendar, he couldn’t keep up on the kids’ schedules the way Natalie did. No wonder she forgot her lunch once in a while. She had a lot of balls in the air, and to her credit, she rarely dropped one.
Unlike him. He dropped them all the time. Like today. He’d dropped two: he didn’t get a job, and he’d let Hailey down. Dark feelings crawled inside his head and set up camp.
Aunt Sophie reached up and knocked him on the forehead.
“Ow! What was that for?” Eli rubbed the sore spot.
“You weren’t listening. I said, you’re so worried about the can’ts and don’t haves that you are missing what’s right in front
of you. Cherish this time with your family. Believe me when I say you don’t get it back.”
Giving Aunt Sophie a one-armed hug, Eli didn’t reply. How could he cherish this time when he failed his family on a daily basis? If he had something, anything, worth celebrating, he would. As it was, he was in survival mode, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep that together.
Chapter 4
The last place Natalie wanted to be was the mall. Yet, here she was, wandering the tiled walkway with nothing to do for forty-five minutes while Hailey and Chloe tried on dresses. She could have hung out with the girls, but she got the feeling she’d cramp their style as they giggled at the shaggy-haired teen working the pretzel counter.
Ducking into the charged atmosphere of the game store, Natalie realized she’d forgotten the name of the game Ryan had mentioned. She’d hoped—budget willing—to place the package in his Easter basket. They had an older game console, and maybe Ryan could invite a few friends over to hang out like he used to, before he got so caught up in student council responsibilities.
Scanning the packed shelves, she realized that without the exact name of the game, she was out of luck. Seeing Google up on one screen, she hurried over and searched several of her best guesses. Nothing seemed right, and the only thing worse than walking out empty-handed was walking out with the wrong game, because “wrong” meant a disappointed son on Easter morning and a return trip.
She was just about to walk away when curiosity struck and she decided to check up on Tracie’s dress listing on Etsy. The page loaded and soon the dress was there in all its tulle-and-satin beauty. Tracie had outdone herself. The bodice was pleated, and the skirt absolutely floated. No evidence of a sale appeared, so Natalie read through the lengthy list of comments, her interest growing.
Great dress! Wish I had a place to wear it!
Would you consider making one in orange for my daughter’s prom?
Love the skirt! It’s so full. Can you provide a link for the place you bought the fabric?
They went on and on like that. Natalie scrolled to the top and found a link to Tracie’s blog. The header wasn’t anything special, probably something provided by WordPress.com. Down the side of the screen there were several buttons representing the different blogging associations she belonged to. There was also one for Bucks for Bunnies, the annual Easter fundraiser sponsored by Snow Valley High School. That was nice of her.
Two boys waddled in, their waistbands slung under their back ends. The one nudged the other and they shrugged their way to the other side of the store, probably scared of the mom vibe Natalie put out with her worn-out purse and the old lady shoes she wore to work. Hey, standing all day was hard without the orthotics, and she hadn’t had time to change before picking up the girls. Feeling out of place and out of time, Natalie hiked her purse up on her shoulder and left.
She caught a glimpse of Hailey’s bright blue coat headed into JCPenny’s, so she quickened her step. The sooner she collected her charges, the sooner they could be on the road home. The girls disappeared inside the store, and Natalie lost sight of them for a few minutes. When she found them again, they were already flipping through the racks and didn’t see her approach.
“Oh my gosh! You totally have to try it on,” gushed Chloe as Hailey pressed the vintage-inspired wrap dress to her shoulders. She squealed and bounced into the changing rooms, where both girls vanished behind the same door.
Their enthusiasm was refreshing, and so Natalie decided to wait until Chloe had a chance to try on the dress before making them leave. Picking up the price tag on an identical dress in a different size, she swallowed—loudly. Out of our price range. “Excuse me?” she asked the girl hanging miniskirts. “Is there a sale coming up?”
The petite blonde pushed her glasses up. “We’re having a sale the weekend before Easter, but that dress won’t be included.”
Giggling interrupted Natalie’s disappointment, and her eyes found Hailey in time to see her twirl in front of a full-length mirror. Pastel-pink fabric flung out as if made to follow Hailey’s command. With a sigh, Natalie noted that the dress fit perfectly and complemented her daughter’s olive complexion while not overwhelming her light tresses.
Affording the dress was possible, with a little belt tightening. If she cut back on her driving, made bread instead of paying three dollars a loaf, and put off that trip to have her hair colored— again— it could work out. Hailey hadn’t complained once about tight funds or missing out on activities. She deserved to have a nice dress for her solo.
Natalie brightened. Maybe Eli had gotten the job. He’d managed a crew before layoffs. He was talented and cautious enough for the higher-ups to trust him. And people liked him. When he wasn’t in an unemployed funk, he was a fun guy to be around.
Maybe she could come back in a couple days to pick up the dress and surprise Hailey. She waited until the girls emerged from the dressing room before telling them it was time to go. Hailey had left the dress with the attendant and had no idea Natalie had seen her spin while wearing the garment. Natalie grinned. Easter was going to be great.
***
The Montana sun had long since tucked itself behind the mountains when Natalie and Hailey pulled into the driveway of their rambler. In the darkness, patches of grass looked like shadows, half-melted snow like forgotten holiday decorations. The lights were off in the house, and a faint blue glow from the television flickered through the front window. Natalie sucked in a breath: this wasn’t a good sign.
Natalie suppressed a groan. She’d stood on the rug of hope and let the soft tickle against her bare feet entice her into daydreaming. Daydreaming led to making plans and morphed into a sense of the world leveling out … until the rug was yanked out from under her and her daydreams, plans, and lightness clattered to the floor. Hope was a rug with a vengeance.
Natalie shook her head sadly as she followed Hailey into the house, where they were met with a cloud of melancholy and the distressing sight of Eli slouched into the couch cushions.
Hailey paused mid-step. “I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed.” She pressed a quick kiss to Natalie’s cheek and then scuttled down the hallway.
Natalie’s instinct was to follow her daughter. She resisted. After all, if she didn’t try in this marriage, what would happen to her and Eli?
Slowly pulling her arms out of the sleeves of her coat, Natalie wondered what she could say that she hadn’t said before. Her heart ached for the disappointments Eli faced, for his lack of confidence. He was a strong man. When they were first married, she’d thought he could conquer the world, and he had—well, their world. He’d risen quickly through the ranks and into management, and he walked tall with his shoulders out. He was strikingly handsome.
Now …
“Hey.” Natalie sat next to him on the couch, her arm resting on the back and her head resting on her hand. “How’d it go?”
Eli didn’t turn, blink, or mute the TV. “Like crap.”
Natalie dropped her hand. People could be so cruel! Couldn’t they see that Eli needed building up, not tearing down? “What did they say?”
“Nothin’ I haven’t heard before. We think you’re great. Impressive résumé. We’re giving the job to someone older, with more experience, with more education, with more training, smarter, younger, thinner, fatter—” He jammed his fingers through his hair. “No matter what, I’m not good enough.” He leaned over with his elbows on his knees and hung his head
Natalie’s eyes stung, and she blinked as two hot tears slid down her cheeks. He’d smoldered here for hours and her question was like a poker in a set of coals. “You’re more than good enough, Eli. I wish they could see the greatness inside of you.”
He sagged back on the sofa. “I don’t care about that. I just want a job.”
“I know.” Natalie leaned her cheek against his shoulder. Eli didn’t soften under her touch, so she ran her fingers up and down his muscular forearm. “It’ll come.”
He grunted in response. Encouraged that he hadn’t pulled away from her touch, she made little circles, moving up to his bicep and admiring his strength. Eli’s arms had held her during the good times and the bad. They’d encircled her with safety and love so many times she’d lost count. Perhaps her turn had come to provide that for Eli. If she could wrap him up in her love, maybe the unconditional acceptance would provide a cushion against the blows he continually took for their family.
“Is Ryan home?” she asked.
“He crashed a while ago.”
Good. “Why don’t we head to bed too?”
Eli turned to look at her, really look at her, and she saw a spark she hadn’t seen in some time. He brushed his finger across her cheek before pulling her body close.
Natalie melted into him enjoying the closeness, the familiarity of being in his arms. Surprised at the thrill that accompanied his touch, a flip-flop in her belly that hadn’t happened in a while, she took a leap and placed a kiss in the sensitive spot below his ear.
Eli jerked his shoulder up as though she’d electrocuted him. He knocked her jaw, and Natalie’s teeth clanged together. “Ow.” She brought her hand up to probe her face.
Eli scowled, rubbing at the spot she’d kissed. The spark was gone and he’d sunk back into his melancholy. His change in mood happened so fast, Natalie wondered if she’d imagined the mutual feelings of attraction. No, he’d pulled her in. Confused at his sudden switch, and with her ears burning, Natalie scooted to the side of the couch. So much for romance. She opened and closed her mouth to check for pain and found none—except for the bruise on her ego.
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