by Elsie James
“Excuse me.” I step around Joshua and walk toward Rachel, who’s talking to another woman as she walks toward the building. I race to intercept her.
“Rachel.” I put a hand on her shoulder. She turns and looks up at me, shock on her face. “You’re here? It’s so good to see you.” She looks almost shy, which I know isn’t the case.
“Hi.” Her voice is soft. A pink flush crosses her cheeks, and I know I still get to her. My eyes go to her left hand; she isn’t wearing a wedding ring. I briefly wonder what happened to Dense Spence. But after this long, he’s the last thing I want to talk about.
“Rach, you look beautiful.” I hug her.
Her body stiffens slightly as she pulls back. The shortening of her name is too casual for all that’s happened between us, but I don’t care. I told myself that if I ever saw her again, I’d speak my truth.
I continue, “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again, but I’m glad you’re here. I need to tell you that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ended things with you the way I did. Hell, I shouldn’t have ended them at all.”
She looks hesitant. I can’t tell if she’s sad or embarrassed. But whatever she’s thinking, I wish she’d just say it. I’ve waited a long time to apologize to her. I want to clear the air between us. Finally, she speaks. “It’s nice to see you. I wasn’t expecting to see you here of all places... but it’s nice.”
“How long have you been back in Peony Pointe?” I ask. “I can’t believe I didn’t run into you sooner.”
“Oh just a few weeks. I needed some time to find myself. So I traveled around a bit.” A thought of the photo I saw of her in Paris with Spencer crosses my mind, but I push it away.
“Well I’m glad you're back and I’m proud of you for becoming a teacher. Is it everything you hoped it would be?” I know it's forward, but what’s a bit of honesty between soulmates?
“Thanks, yeah, it’s good to be back. The school year has just started, but so far, I love it. What about you? Are you still volunteering at the firehouse?”
“I’m still at the firehouse but I’m not a volunteer anymore. In fact, a few months ago, I made captain.”
“Wow, Greyson. That’s really incredible. I’m happy for you.” Awkward silence falls between us. She steps back. “Listen, I need to head back in. ”
I look around to see that all the other teachers are back inside of the building. The guys stare at me, no doubt shamelessly wondering who I’m talking to. I’ve always tried to keep my personal life private.
When I don’t move, Rachel steps around me. “Nice to see you.” She looks toward the building and waves a casual hand toward me.
I watch her walk away, her body swaying with each step. I can’t help but remember the feel of her skin on mine. The way I got through my medical classes by studying her body. When she is completely out of view, I walk back to the truck.
“A friend of yours?” Tarik asks with a grin.
“Tarik, I’ll go ahead and work with you to oversee the fire committee for this location.”
“Got it, Boss.”
Chapter 3: Rachel
As if Greyson needed any help getting hotter, now he’s also a Fire Captain? He looks as gorgeous as ever. Dark hair with light blue eyes, tanned skin, and a perfect smile. The sight of him in his uniform is not one I'll be forgetting anytime soon. He was my first love, and I wasn’t ready to see him. Now, I’m drowning in emotions and memories.
I keep it together as I leave the school. I’m a professional, after all. But as I drive, my body still tingles from his touch. I’m enlightened enough to know I still love him, but smart enough to remember how he broke my heart. So, I’ll give myself the rest of today to obsess and then he’ll be out of my life again.
Juni follows me in her car as we head to our Tuesday night Thai food spot. We get seated in silence, my mind ready to burst as I analyze over and over each word that came from his mouth.
“Greyson? Of all people?” It erupts out of me. The waiter makes a face, raising his eyebrows. Silently taking a step back, he decides to help the table next to us instead. “There were two years where I thought I'd be his wife. Then he does what he did and now he just shows up at my work?”
“Well, he didn’t exactly just pop in for a visit. The building was on fire and he’s the Fire Captain, so it kind of makes sense. Don’t you think?”
“Maybe.” I guess she has a point. But when you love someone as much as I loved him, you can’t casually interact. It’s always intense. He’s intensely attractive and charming. My memories of my life with him make me intensely sad because of the way they end. “But this is just like him. Popping in and out of my world at his leisure. I’m surprised he could find the time in between all the women.”
“Rachel, you’re having a moment here. You really are. I’m always on your side, you know that, but I have to tell you, I don’t think he’s like that.”
“Well, I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve heard rumors, but they could still be true. Really, I’m just still upset.” I bite the end of my straw and try to think of the last time I actually heard anything about Greyson. To be fair, it’s been years, and even then, only one photo comes to mind.
Shortly after he broke up with me, a friend of ours hosted a couples weekend getaway at her beach house. I was traveling with Spencer at the time so we couldn’t go, but it seems Greyson did. Chasity, a mean and petty girl who was cruel to me in high school, sent me a photo on social media of herself with Greyson at the beach house. Greyson and I once bonded over hating her. Seeing them smile together around a bonfire was a punch to the gut. Especially after he broke up with me without warning. What hurt even more was that they looked good together. Two tan, super-fit people with perfect smiles and not a care in the world.
“I’m sorry for the way it ended between you two. Seeing him out of nowhere must have been jarring. I’ve always liked him though, he was good to you.”
He was good to me. Greyson took care of me like nobody else ever has. He pushed me to reach my goals. He loved me fiercely and made me feel beautiful. We made each other so happy. That’s why I was devastated when he broke up with me. It was a complete shock, and his lack of explanation left me totally heartbroken. We were young, and I get that, but I was hurt by the person I trusted most in the world.
“He was good to me, until he wasn’t.”
“I remember. That was such an awful time. Your heartbreak made it so easy for Spencer to swoop in.” Juni shakes her head, never having been a fan of Spencer. “But look at you now.” She pats my arm encouragingly.
“Look at me now is right, I’m happy.” I stir my drink and smile to myself. A quiet sadness for the life I could have had with Greyson still sits with me, but over the years, I’ve gotten used to it. “And I get paid to read stories to kids as a part of my real job. When Spencer and I were engaged, he made it seem like me working was a burden.”
“Say no more, I know that life all too well.” And she does, having narrowly missed a similar fate. “Cheers to avoiding that nightmare.” Juni raises her glass to me.
“Cheers.” We clink our glasses together in celebration of the women we’ve grown into in the last few years.
Sensing the mood at our table shift into a more friendly one, the waiter returns. As we eat, Juni brainstorms ways she can save our library. Her fiance has some pull at one of the large wineries in our town. She wants to work with them to keep the doors open. If she pulls it off, I’ll be eternally grateful.
“What are you doing with the rest of your night?” Juni asks me as we walk to our cars.
I hesitate for a moment, looking at my phone for the time. Then I decide to answer honestly. “Well, I have two hours left before midnight. I’ve given myself the day to obsess over Greyson. So, I’m taking a deep dive into his social media.”
I can admit that scrolling his page used to be one of my favorite pastimes. When Greyson first disappeared, I was blocked from all of his accounts. With no explanatio
n, I felt devastated. Then one day, his face just popped up on my home screen without warning. Ironically it was labeled, “people you may know.” The one thing I was sure of was that I didn’t know Greyson at all. Even though I was engaged to Spencer at the time, I spent hours sneaking looks through Greyson’s photos. Trying to piece together who he had become. The Greyson I knew would never disregard me.
Juni rolls her eyes at me. “Be careful. Make sure you really want to know before you go poking around again.”
“You know me too well.” Juni hasn’t forgotten about the night I saw the photo of Greyson with Chasity either. “Five years, a failed engagement, and a new career have happened since then. I’ll be fine.”
As I climb into bed, I set the alarm on my phone for one minute before midnight. Taking advantage of every second of this day, I open his page. It looks like Greyson has a bachelor pad downtown. From the photos, it’s industrial, metal and glass. A pool table sits where the dining table should be and—eww, ewwww—a black leather sectional takes up the entire living room. There aren’t any girls in the pictures, and I’m not sure why. Maybe there aren’t any important women in his life, I think hopefully. Or maybe Greyson wants to make sure everyone knows he’s single and ready to mingle. A devastating thought. Quitting while I’m ahead, I put my phone away and fall asleep.
◆◆◆
At school the next morning, our principal gathers us in the library for a quick meeting.
“You all know what a scare we had yesterday. Thankfully, no one was hurt and the damage to the kitchen was minimal. But the fire highlighted some holes in our current safety plan. Moving forward, we’ll be working with our local fire department to develop and institute new safety protocols.”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. My right foot bounces taps the floor rapidly. I know what’s coming.
She continues. “This committee will meet once a week for the next month. I’m looking for four teachers who are willing to participate.” Everything in me begs not to be chosen. I’m happy to sign up for any other committee, but I can’t do this one.
“If I have no volunteers, I’ll have to appoint at least four of you.”
Eyes shift to the floor as my colleagues and I attempt to fly under the radar.
“Alright, how about Alicia, Ramone, Marna, and Rachel?” It’s posed as a question, but there is no choice involved. I’ll be on the committee.
I nod my head and swallow the lump in the back of my throat. Nobody says his name, but I can feel it. In that one involuntary decision, it's done. Greyson is officially back in my life.
Chapter 4: Greyson
Tarik and I walk into the school’s staff room for our first fire-safety meeting. My girl didn’t let me down. Rachel sits between two of her coworkers in a red v-neck dress that exposes just the tiniest hint of cleavage as she moves. Having her body all to myself for so long makes it impossible for me not to remember what she looks like beneath her dress.
She’s talking quietly to someone beside her. “They won’t have access to new books or a place to grow a love for reading and share it with their friends. The whole thing makes me sad.” She doesn’t make eye contact with me, but I notice a slight pitch change in her voice when she sees me.
“Good afternoon. Are you talking about our library closing?” I sit down and interject myself into their conversation.
“Yes, we’re all so disappointed for our students,” responds one of the teachers.
“I saw that. The library is close to our station. That’s too bad.” But I couldn’t care less about the library. I’m only here to get my girl back in my life. I’ve always regretted the mistake I made breaking up with her. I was young and there was such pressure on me to make the right decision about us. Now that she’s back in town, I’m determined to make up for it.
Tarik kicks off the meeting by outlining the systems already in place at the school. But I can’t concentrate on anything except Rachel. My mind floods with thoughts of the beautiful woman sitting across from me. Her laugh. Her all consuming love for reading. The way she talks to her houseplants like they’re pets. The way she would throw her arms around my neck when I made her smile. It all comes cascading back to me.
Tarik wraps up the meeting. “That’s all we have for you today. Next week, we will take a look at the fire code regarding covering your walls with paper. Anything to add, Boss?”
Tarik’s voice brings me back to reality. “Sounds like a plan. See you all next week.”
When the meeting adjourns, I move toward Rachel. She stands, taking a step toward the door.
“How’s that for our first committee meeting?” I attempt to make small talk with her. But honestly, I just want to explain what happened back then. I want to know that she’s single. I need to hear that there’s a chance of me getting her back into my life.
“It was alright,” she says with an unreadable expression.
“I want to talk to you, about everything. It’s not what it seemed.”
She looks around at the teachers walking in and out of the doorway. “Here? Can you at least come to my room, please? This isn’t the place.”
I follow her back to her classroom, eyeing her curves from behind.
“So, this is it, huh? It looks great in here, Rach.” I lean on the doorway and glance around her room. It looks like her—bright and cheery. Plants with pots filled with tiny hand painted rocks sit in the window sills. I make my way into the classroom, looking at the turtle in a large glass aquarium.
“Thanks. But what are you doing here?” She seems genuinely curious.
“I hoped you’d join the committee. That’s why I’m here,” I answer honestly.
“You hoped I’d join?” She walks around her classroom straightening things that are already organized. I wonder why she seems on edge. I’m not a stranger; we have a lifetime of memories between us. The last five years feels like nothing more than a bad dream that I am ready to move past.
“Rach, what happened? You’re not wearing a ring.” I get straight to the point.
“I’m not engaged, so why would I wear one?” She stops walking and leans back on the side of her desk. Sadness builds behind her eyes. Her body language is casual, but the constant clicking of the pen she’s fidgeting with gives her away.
“You broke it off with him?” Adrenaline courses through me. She has to say yes.
“I did. When you find your fiance in bed with another woman, that’s generally considered a bad sign.” Her sentence conjures up thoughts of her in bed with Dense Spence and fury at myself rushes through me. Because I wasn’t there, a man like him was able to hurt her. Remorse drowns me as I stare at her. A hurt expression lingers on her face. An even more terrible thought creeps into my mind. I wonder if this is how she looked when I broke up with her.
“What an idiot. He had you in his grasp, and he just let you walk.” I shake my head at the thought. When I walked away, I had no choice. He had everything and he decided to treat her like that. “He didn’t deserve you.”
“You’re one to talk. I never got over the way you ignored me, disappeared from my world. I’m not letting you get away with playing the hero now when what you did hurt me so much more.”
“Me? Rach, we didn’t talk for a few weeks and then you were engaged. Those weeks are the biggest regret of my life.”
“We didn’t talk? Or you didn’t talk to me? You devastated me.” Her arms cross over her chest. All I want is to hold her and fix it.
“I didn’t want you to forfeit your scholarship,” I say honestly.
“What are you talking about? I never would have done that. It didn’t have to be a choice. We could have made it work. You didn’t want to.” Tears well in her eyes, confirmation that after all this time, she still loves me.
I walk to her, grabbing her shoulders in my hands. “I thought I was doing what was best for you.”
“What did you know about what was best for me? Do you know how hard you made it for me to move on?�
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I don’t know but I’m already furious at myself for how I handled the situation. “I’m sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention. But you hurt me too. I was young and stupid. My pride was bruised, so I blocked you, but it didn’t take me too long to realize I was wrong.”
I rarely let myself think back to this time because it enrages me. But she’s asking for answers and giving them to her is the least I can do.
“I unblock you and I see a picture of you standing in the dress you wore on our first date. Tanned, smiling, and engaged to Spencer. To make matters worse, you were out of the country. Every photo I saw of you from then on was taken in an exotic location. You were completely inaccessible to me. I couldn’t get to you if I tried. And why would I when you looked happy? It was then I realized that your parents were right.” The truth pours out of me. The only way out of this is through it and she's worth it.
“My parents? Greyson, what do my parents have to do with anything? It’s no secret you weren’t their favorite, but I made my own decisions, even back then. Except for the time you made them for me by disappearing.” She looks still shattered by my choice.
“Look, I listened to other people and thought I wasn’t good enough for you. But I see now that wasn’t my decision to make. I thought that it was about a lifestyle that you needed. One I could never give you. But I was wrong.”
