by Kari Lemor
Freezing, she tried to remember the last time she’d seen his game console. Most of the time, he simply shoved it next to the couch. No, it wasn’t there or in the closet. When she checked, none of Luke’s big boy toys were on the shelves. Where had he put them? Another bedroom upstairs? The one in the front of the house had a flat screen. Maybe he’d moved them there. Stuffing the letter in her purse, she went back to tidying up the kitchen.
A half hour later, Dawn had drifted off to sleep, so Elle carefully removed her from the swing and carried her upstairs. If she timed it right, the baby often stayed asleep for almost two hours. She covered her with a thin blanket, so the overhead fan didn’t disturb her too much, then wandered down the hall to check on Luke’s video games.
Nothing. Elle’s stomach cramped as she searched the guest bedroom. Not only were the games not here, but the TV was gone as well. Not that they ever used it. The den TV was more convenient. But Luke had never said anything about moving it.
After grabbing the video baby monitor, she hustled downstairs and out the back door. Maybe Luke had put his stuff in the garage for some strange reason. But when she got to the garage, she noticed a few other things missing. Like Luke’s motorcycle. He’d taken the Camaro to work this morning.
What was going on?
Peeking at the monitor in her hand, she walked around the yard, checking if anything else seemed out of place and wondering what had happened to all of Luke’s stuff. No answers jumped out at her.
Dawn still snoozed peacefully, her thumb pulsating in and out of her mouth. Molly told her Luke had sucked his thumb until he was about four. Would Dawn be just like her father in that matter? Would Luke even be around to see it?
Stop. She needed to stop being so negative and have more confidence that they could work things out. Luke had told her he loved her. Several times.
Yeah, her dad had claimed to love her mom, as well. That hadn’t kept him from cheating on her and taking off. Was she destined to make the same mistakes her mother had?
No. It didn’t matter what happened with Luke. Elle would never leave her daughter for any reason. Dawn was her life, and she’d do whatever was needed to make sure her baby had a loving mother.
Elle finished her circuit of the yard, then climbed the front porch stairs and settled on the porch swing. Another glance let her know the baby was still sleeping. Thankfully, her afternoon nap seemed to be holding steady at about two hours. Then, she’d wake up, feed and play for a bit, then nap once more until Luke got home.
Last week, he’d been home later Wednesday and Thursday. Elle had attributed it to the Jade mess. Now, she had to wonder if something else had been going on. Luke’s toys were gone. His motorcycle missing.
Shit. Was he moving out? Slowly, so she wouldn’t notice? No, he loved his daughter, and his mother would skin him alive if he ever deserted them.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t setting up a little place to go when things were too tough for him here. A love nest?
No, he said he wouldn’t cheat. He wasn’t a liar.
Jade’s flawless boobs hanging out of her scrap of lace flashed through her mind. Jade. And there had been Amber, the waitress who Luke had obviously slept with at some point.
Jade. Amber. Should she worry about women named Pearl, Opal, and Ruby, too? Maybe Luke had a thing for semi-precious stones. All because Elle had been too tired to have sex often lately?
“Hey, there,” Gina called out, crossing the grass between their yards.
Elle had been so preoccupied she hadn’t even noticed her sister-in-law approaching.
“Hi. How are you feeling?”
Gina’s belly swayed as she hefted herself onto the porch. Elle patted the bench next to her and Gina sat.
“I’m heading into the last three months and wondering how I’m going to make it that long.” She eyed her ever-increasing stomach.
“If you need anything, let me know.”
Gina pointed to the monitor. “Dawn still doing great with her afternoon nap?”
“Yeah, that’s one good thing.” Pressing her mouth closed, Elle stopped the thoughts that wanted to rush out.
Gina cocked her head and patted her hand. “Everything okay? You’ve been quiet this week, and Luke was downright surly the one time he popped in last Thursday.”
Elle stared across the lawn to Gina and Alex’s and blinked, attempting to keep the tears at bay. It didn’t work.
“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?”
She hated to burden Gina with her problems, but she’d been such a good friend and sister, maybe she could help Elle gain some perspective.
“Last Tuesday, we were watching TV after supper. Luke was holding Dawn like he usually does, and his phone sounded. He asked me to check if it was Mom.”
Elle swallowed remembering what she’d seen.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t Molly.”
Shaking her head, Elle said, “No, not Molly. Someone named Jade.”
“Jade?” Gina narrowed her eyes, then they opened wide. “Oh, Jade.”
“You know Jade?”
“If it’s the woman I’m thinking of, I met her a few years ago. Luke took her to one of Sara’s concerts when she was the opening act for Ammunition. They were performing in Worcester.”
“What did you think of her?”
“It doesn’t matter. What did she want? Did she tell you or just ask to talk to Luke?”
Elle took a deep breath before answering. How much did she tell Gina? “She sent a text telling him she was in town if he wanted to get together.”
Gina scowled. “He didn’t—”
“No, he didn’t. It wasn’t so much his response that upset me, but the selfie she sent along with explicit details of what they could do.”
“Shit. How bad was the picture?”
“She’s a beautiful woman. Her body sure doesn’t look like she’s just had a baby.”
“Hey.” Gina placed her hand on Elle’s arm. “You look terrific, and I’ve seen the way Luke stares at you. He thinks so, too. He loves you, Ellie.”
“I know he does. But you can love someone and still be tempted to have sex with someone else. I’m just so tired all the time. I love when Luke touches me, but honestly, if I have time where Dawn is asleep, I want to sleep, too. I guess I can’t blame him, since he’s used to having sex all the time.”
Gina made a face, then closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them, she said, “I know Luke used to be a jerk with women. No one can deny that, not even him. The operative words are used to be. I know for a fact, he never got together with anyone else between the time Pete had his heart attack and he left for deployment. He was at our house or with his mom every minute.”
Elle didn’t know what to say, so she took another peek at the baby monitor. Dawn rested peacefully.
“What did Luke say about Jade’s text and picture?”
“He said he didn’t want her and hadn’t seen her in two years.”
“But seeing her half naked picture and what I’m assuming were sexual details threw you for a loop, right?”
“Try three quarters naked. And the open legs showcasing her most excellent wax job sure didn’t help my self-esteem any.”
Gina leaned in and hugged her. Elle pressed herself closer, needing the comfort. If anything happened between her and Luke, she’d miss this family as much as him.
“Things are going to be okay, Ellie. Luke loves you, and you love him. You also have a beautiful daughter who needs you both. Give it some time, then have a real conversation with your husband. Let him know how you feel about what happened, without blame, and see what he says. I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Thanks, Gina. You’ve been such a great sister. What would I do without you?”
“I’m always here for you. Okay, maybe not for the next half hour. I have a conference call in ten minutes, and I need to pee first. These kids like to hang out on my bladder most days.”
They hugged again, t
hen Gina headed back to her house.
If Elle had some time before Dawn woke up, she should maybe do a few things. Just in case.
The first thing was to contact Sherman and have a conversation about her job. Even if things worked out fine with Luke, she still needed to look at her options. Maybe find a child care center that took infants.
But if things didn’t work out, her next task might be to find an apartment.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Steering down their street, Luke noticed Elle’s car was gone. Replaced by his mother’s. Was everything okay? Elle hadn’t mentioned that she’d be out today when he got home. Then, she hadn’t said much of anything to him in the past week and a half.
She hadn’t brought up Jade’s text or made him feel bad about it, yet the camaraderie they’d shared was missing. They hadn’t watched TV together since that night, and Elle had already eaten by the time he’d gotten home each night.
“I was hungry and didn’t want to wait. I wasn’t sure what time you’d be back.”
He couldn’t blame her. He’d spent a few days after work trying to make arrangements that would hopefully get them back on track for a happy marriage.
He pulled the Camaro into the driveway, making sure his mom had enough space to get out. Glancing around the inside of the vehicle, he checked that he’d cleaned up any trash. He was going to miss this car.
The new owner would be picking it up day after tomorrow, Saturday, in the morning. Then, he’d have Elle drive him to the dealership to pick up their new SUV. The Camaro was impossible to fit the car seat in, since it had only two doors. Elle’s car was fine, but when they had long trips overnight, like to Maine or the Cape, they needed more space for Dawn’s porta crib and all her other paraphernalia.
The new Mountaineer had been expensive, but with the price he’d gotten for the sports car and all the video games he’d sold to a guy he worked with, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d thought. Sighing, Luke still winced remembering how he’d sold his motorcycle for a pretty penny. But it wasn’t sensible with a baby.
When he entered the house, he listened for noise. He didn’t want to yell for his mom if Dawn was sleeping. When the baby was down, she was fairly good, but no sense taking the chance.
He wandered through the front rooms into the kitchen and found his mother wiping down the counter. Dawn sat in her little swing in the doorway to the den.
“Hey, there. Two of my best girls. Where’s my other best girl?” Keep it light. Don’t let Mom know things have been tense lately.
“Hey, sweetie. Ellie had a few errands to run, so I volunteered to watch my granddaughter.”
He kissed his mom’s cheek, then plopped on the floor in front of his daughter. “I know how much you hate doing that, so thanks.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Well, now that you’re home, I can head there myself. Your father’s probably wondering where I am. I thought you usually got home earlier than this.”
“Yeah, sorry, I had a few errands to run myself. Appreciate your helping Ellie out.”
Mom tossed the paper towel she’d been using in the trash and hugged him. “Did Erik talk to you? He mentioned possibly staying here Saturday night, since Gina’s getting further along.”
Luke forced a smile. “I’m sure that’s fine.” Would it be with the tension between him and his wife lately?
After his mother left, he scooped Dawn from her seat and roamed through the downstairs rooms, chatting with her.
“So your mom isn’t too happy right now. Part of that is my fault. I’ve tried to let her know how much she means to me, but I guess I haven’t done as good of a job as I should.”
Dawn made a cooing sound, and Luke nodded. “Right. I need to do better. The first thing I did was get rid of all those silly toys I have, so I have more time to concentrate on you and your mom. That includes my motorcycle. I really liked that one. But right now, in order to use it, I’d have to neglect the two of you. When you’re a little older, I can think about getting another one. Of course, I’m hoping to give you a few brothers and sisters. If I can get your mom happy with me again.”
He bounced Dawn up higher in his arms, and a tiny laugh slipped from her mouth. That was new. Wait until Elle came home and he told her. Or would she feel bad that she hadn’t been here to hear it? Or maybe she’d already heard a little laugh and hadn’t shared it with him.
God, he needed to get talking to his wife again.
“I put the house in both our names, too. Since I bought it before we were married, it went in my name. But I want your mom to know this is her house always, regardless of what happens. I hope we can all live here together and be happy.”
His phone pinged, and he shuffled Dawn to one arm to check it. Maybe it was from Elle letting him know when she’d be back.
Swiping the screen with one hand, he saw it was from Sherman confirming a meeting next week. He’d stopped into Elle’s old work today for a joint project and had been surprised when her boss had mentioned chatting with her only a few days ago. He’d hidden his reaction and tried to play it off that he’d known, but his heart had hurt that she hadn’t talked to him about returning to work. Not recently, anyway.
“Hey, munchkin, Daddy needs to respond to this e-mail. Can I put you back in your swing?”
As he adjusted Dawn to fit in the seat, he noticed Elle’s laptop on the coffee table. He needed to attach a document that he didn’t have on his phone. Maybe he’d just use her device, instead of running up to the third floor where his computer was, since Dawn was down here.
He and Elle had used each other’s computers here and there if they had quick stuff to do, so he logged in and tickled his daughter under the chin while the laptop booted up.
An enormous smile appeared on the baby’s face, and warmth spread throughout his body. Everything would be fine. He and Elle both loved this child completely. They loved each other. That had to be enough to get them through this awkward time.
Glancing back at the screen, he placed his hands on the keyboard and froze. Elle still had a few tabs open. He clicked on one. It had to be a mistake.
Child Care Centers. A list of local ones with reviews and recommendations for each. Okay, so if she had started thinking about going back to work, obviously they’d need someone to take care of Dawn. He’d prefer to have their child stay in their home, but he understood why Elle might want to research all options. It would have been nice to talk to him about it first, but the dark feeling in the pit of his stomach lessened.
Elle had worked hard for her career, and he’d never want to make her choose between that and their child. He just hated the thought of some stranger taking care of Dawn. Surely, if they researched and discussed the options together, they could figure something out.
Leaving the tab open, he started to tap a key when another tab caught his eye. This one had his breath leaving him. He clicked on it, and his hands trembled.
Apartments. In the Portsmouth area.
Was she planning to leave him? Because of what happened with Jade? No, he had to fix this. Where had he gone wrong?
He remembered how his mother had told him that everything had come easy to him and sometimes it was hard for him to see that he needed to put in a better effort. God, was she right and his effort hadn’t been enough? He’d thought his marriage would just fall into place and they’d live happily ever after.
This wasn’t something that would simply get better in time. He had to do something. Hopefully, the new SUV and the deed for the house would help, but what they had to do was communicate more. He loved Elle and didn’t want to lose her. The thought of her taking the baby away almost paralyzed him.
Glancing at his watch, he said, “When is your mom getting home, munchkin? Do you think you can be extra good tonight? Because it looks like she and I are going to need to have a long talk.”
Elle adjusted the bag in her hand. The onesies and sleepers she’d gotten in exchange for the fancy little outfits made her sm
ile. Thank goodness her aunt and cousins had left the tags on the Baby Dior velvet dresses they’d bought for Dawn. It made it much easier to return them and buy something sensible.
She rolled her eyes, picturing Dawn spitting up breast milk all over the white satin collar. Heaven help Jenny and Nicole when they had kids, if they planned to dress their babies in Dior.
She dug through her purse for her phone. It was behind the envelope she’d stuffed there a few days ago. After checking that Molly hadn’t tried calling or texting, she slipped the phone back in and grabbed the envelope wondering what it was. As she shuffled through the mall, she opened it. Only a few lines.
Ellie,
Being with you at the wedding was exactly what I needed. When I get back, I want to see you again. Please think of me. I’ll be thinking of you.
Luke
He had tried to contact her just like he’d said he had. Not that she hadn’t believed him, but part of her had doubted his feelings back then, the part of her that had been abandoned.
Her eye caught on a window display as she passed an intimate apparel store. Lacy lingerie and undergarments reminded her too much of the dratted text and selfie Luke had gotten from Jade. About to pass by, she paused and examined the apparel again.
Luke was her husband, and she loved him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was her own lack of self-esteem and confidence in herself that had caused the problem. So how was she going to fix it? Because she needed to. They couldn’t keep walking on eggshells around the house and avoiding each other in bed.
A grin crossed her face as she pivoted and entered the store. Molly had Dawn, so she didn’t need to worry. Unless Luke was super late again today. But then maybe his mother would take him to task for his tardiness when he had a wife and baby at home. Elle loved her mother-in-law and her steadfast determination in so many things.
