“As long as you have Amy here,” she said, pushing down on his chest to emphasize her point, “you will never lose the connection to her. She will always be with you, Harvey. Always.”
Harvey looked down at her hand and then up at her, a maelstrom of emotion swirling through his eyes. He looked somewhat shocked, as if he had not considered what she had just said before. Like it was a new and profound thought that had shaken him to his core.
“I just miss her, Isabelle,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I miss her every single day.”
“Of course you do. And why would you not?” she replied. “But she is always with you. And in death, as in life, I am more than sure she wants what is best for you. She wants you to be happy. And if being out on the land, working with your horses is what brings you joy, I am certain she would want that for you.”
He seemed to be truly absorbing and digesting her words and the tension in the air between them lingered a moment longer. But then it suddenly just dissipated and was replaced by a sense of comfort. A sense of companionship. It almost felt as if a wall that existed between them was in the process of crumbling down. Or at least, the first cracks had appeared.
While she would not go so far as to say they were on the verge of marriage, at least the distance he had held her at since they met had − lessened. It was not quite an arm’s length anymore.
“What about you?” he asked.
“What about me?”
“Any great loves in your life?”
A small frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. “No, not for me,” she said. “Not yet.”
She let the words hang in the air between them, her eyes locked onto his. She was very drawn to him in ways that were entirely new to her. Isabelle was not saying she loved Harvey and she hoped he would not interpret it that way.
“But I believe that one day, I will be fortunate enough to find a love that is true,” she added, just to clarify.
He nodded as if he understood. “I have no doubt that you will, Isabelle. You have a lot to offer and some fella will be lucky enough to call you his.”
Harvey’s eyes lingered on hers for a long moment and Isabelle wondered if he was trying to impart some message to her with his gaze. But then she thought she was being silly and that it was more likely a case of wishful thinking. But still − there was something in his eyes that sparked something within her like flame upon dry tinder and it gave her hope.
They sat and talked for another half hour or so, each of them sharing details of their lives with the other. As they talked, Isabelle felt herself growing closer to him. She felt a bond forming between them. And she did not think it was a product of an imagination that was smitten with him. She thought she could see in his eyes that he too was drawing closer to her.
“Well, we should probably be gettin’ back before they think we ran off together,” he grinned.
Isabelle thought it did not sound like the worst thing in the world to her but she did not give voice to it. She had been bold and forward enough for one afternoon.
“You are probably right,” she replied even though she wanted nothing more than to spend all day out there with him.
They got to their feet and cleaned up the area. Harvey rolled up the blanket as she put the containers back into the bags and he helped her put everything back onto her saddle. She turned around and found him standing right behind her. They were just scant inches apart − so close, Isabelle could feel the heat wafting off his body and smell his musky aroma.
Their eyes were locked together and Isabelle’s heart raced. The silence between them was dripping with tension and a sense of expectation that left Isabelle nearly breathless. She looked into Harvey’s eyes and thought she could see a sense of longing there. She thought she could see a yearning and a desire for her so powerful, she felt her knees growing weak and feared they would give out, spilling her onto the ground in front of him. Isabelle did not know if she could recover from that sort of mortifying event.
Harvey started to lean forward, his full lips parting, and Isabelle’s breath caught in her throat. But then he seemed to come back to himself and straightened back up, an inscrutable expression on his face. He took a step back and gave her an awkward smile.
“Can I give you a boost?” he asked and pointed to her saddle.
Disappointed but undaunted, Isabelle gave him a smile. “Please.”
Harvey squatted down and clasped his hands, giving her a boost up into her saddle − assistance she did not actually need but the gesture was sweet so she did not want to turn him down. She stepped up into his hand then swung her leg over her saddle and got herself situated.
He hoisted himself up into his saddle and looked over at her. Harvey gave her a smile that again, made her feel like there was something special developing between them − albeit slowly. After that, he led her out of the clearing and back out onto the trail that would lead them home.
They made small talk as they rode on, their conversations gradually touching on more personal subjects. And by the time they were climbing out of the saddle at home, Isabelle had never felt closer to, or more infatuated with anybody in her life.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Isabelle was up with the dawn, yawning and stretching in her bed. Wolf, who was stretched out on the bed next to her lifted his head and yawned. The big dog was protective of her and had moved into her room on a full-time basis and she gladly shared the unused half of the bed with him.
“Good morning to you,” she said and gave him a scratch beneath the chin.
Wolf stretched languidly before getting to his feet and licking Isabelle’s face, making her squeal with laughter. The big dog jumped down off the bed and as was his morning ritual, he took up a position near the door. He turned to look at her attentively, as if trying to remind her that he needed to go outside.
Isabelle grinned at the noble looking dog. “Have I ever forgotten to take you out, Wolf?”
The big dog’s tongue lolled out of his mouth as he gave her a canine grin. Isabelle quickly dressed in a rough woolen skirt and dark blouse. It was laundry day today so she thought it best to not wear her good clothing. And she would bathe later, after she was through with her chores.
By the time she had her shoes on and was ready to go, Wolf was dancing at the door, looking at her almost impatiently. Isabelle laughed and opened the door, escorting him downstairs, led him through the kitchen to the back door and threw it open.
Wolf bounded down the steps and was off like a shot, heading straight for the orchards. She watched him run free, barking playfully at the chickens in his path and sending them noisily scattering in all directions. Isabelle delighted in the joy the big dog took from something as simple as running in the morning air.
Knowing Wolf would return soon, she left the back door open as she stepped into the kitchen to set about getting breakfast ready. She liked to make sure her brother had a hearty meal before he set about his day. Left to his own devices, he wouldn’t eat from the time he woke until the end of the day. And that would not do.
By the time the bacon was done frying on the stove, Wolf had padded back into the kitchen and stood there watching her.
“Just in time for the bacon,” Isabelle grinned at the dog. “What a surprise.”
“If there’s food to be had, Wolf is always on time,” Mark chuckled as he stepped into the kitchen.
“A trick he must have learned from you,” Isabelle grinned. “Breakfast is ready.”
Isabelle gave the big dog a couple slices of bacon and then carried everything out to the table in the dining room.
“How are things going out in the distillery?” she asked.
Mark nodded as he shoveled food into his mouth, chewing quickly − obviously in a hurry to get back to work out there.
“Good good,” he said around a mouthful of food. “We should be back up and running in the next day or so.”
“That’s wonderful news.”
; “Speaking of which, I need to get back out there,” he said.
“Go,” she grinned, not wanting to blunt his enthusiasm or momentum. “I’ll clean up in here.”
“Thanks, Sis.”
He gave her a kiss on the top of her head before he went bounding out the door with all the enthusiasm Wolf had taken off earlier that morning. When he was gone, she cleared the table and carried it all into the kitchen, tossing some of the scraps to Wolf, who was waiting patiently.
It had been a little more than a week since the attack and Mark had shaken off the malaise that settled in the day after it happened. He was back to being the vibrant, energetic man Isabelle knew and had an excited spring in his step she was happy to see.
Likewise, she had seen a change in Harvey as well. She had made a point of going over to his place more often to help out with Charley. She wanted to get him used to the idea of letting go and allowing somebody else to help him. She thought it might help ease some of his fears as well as the burden on him.
Plus, she wanted to spend more time not just with Charley, but with Harvey as well. Getting him to relax and let go a bit was going to be a process but she was already seeing progress. She also enjoyed getting to know Chenoa better. She was a very smart woman and had a profound wisdom about her. Isabelle knew it was wisdom born of a lifetime of struggle and pain, which made her hurt for the Indian woman.
Isabelle set about collecting all of the laundry then took it out back where she set about washing it. As she hung the clean sheets and clothes on the line, she saw Mark buzzing in and out of the distillery in the distance. He had some of his field hands working with him and she noticed that they were doing some light construction to the barn. She would have to ask him about that later.
She turned and hung another sheet on the line and turned around to grab another only to find a man standing behind her basket. Isabelle let out a shriek and jumped back a couple of steps, her heart beating so hard it felt like it might burst from her chest.
“Silas, my goodness,” she gasped. “You scared me half to death. That is becoming something of a thing with you.”
He flashed her a wide, sheepish smile. “My apologies, Isabelle. I truly do not intend to frighten you.”
She let out a long, shuddering breath and gave him a weak, watery smile.
“What are you doing out here?” she asked.
“I − I came to talk to your brother actually,” he said quickly. “Yes, I wanted to follow up on my last conversation with him.”
“Well I’m afraid he is still busy rebuilding the distillery,” she said. “I think he is close to being done with it.”
“That’s good news,” Silas said. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“I am as well. My brother seems to have really regained some momentum on it. He seems excited.”
“I’m also glad to hear that,” he grinned.
Across the yard behind Silas, Isabelle saw Harvey walking across his yard toward his barn. He gave her a wave and she returned it, a smile crossing her face. When she turned back, she found Silas looking at her with a strange expression on his face, she lowered her hand and cleared her throat.
Silas cut a glance behind them and when he saw who she was waving at, he frowned and looked slightly annoyed. But he composed himself quickly and the smile was back on his face a moment later.
“You two seem pretty well acquainted,” he said, probably a bit more sharply than he had intended.
“Well, he is my brother’s best friend,” she replied. “And our neighbor. Of course we have gotten to know each other.”
Isabelle found his tone slightly off-putting but tamped it down. What Silas had to be annoyed about was beyond her but she did not want to engage with him. What she really wanted was to go talk to Harvey.
“Well, I am sure Mark will take a little time out of what he is currently occupied with to speak with you,” Isabelle said. “You can find him over in the distillery.”
Silas frowned and this time, he did not try to hide it. He looked up at her and swallowed hard, doing his best to give her a confident smile but it fell short of the mark. To Isabelle, he looked for all the world, like a nervous teenage boy.
As his eyes searched hers, she got the feeling he was going to do something rash − like ask to court her − and she hoped fervently that was not the case. She thought he was a kind man but she was not interested in him in that way.
“Actually, if I’m being honest, there was another reason I came out here,” he said, his grin nervous and sickly.
No, please do not ask. Do not ask, I’m begging you.
“I was kind of hoping you would be agreeable to me taking you to dinner,” he said.
Isabelle’s stomach lurched and her heart stuttered drunkenly inside of her. She did not like hurting or disappointing people and she often bent over backwards to avoid it. Yet she knew that not wanting to have dinner with Silas was going to do both.
“I know your love of European culture and Ducat’s has an amazing array of French foods that are the best you’ll find outside of Paris,” he grinned, seeming to be gathering his courage and momentum. “I thought you might like to have dinner with me there.”
“Hey Silas,” Mark said. “How are you doin’ today?”
Mark stepped up beside her, his smile wide, and extended his hand. Silas tore his gaze away from Isabelle and turned to Mark, giving his hand a firm shake. She let out a silent breath of relief, grateful to her brother for his impeccable timing.
“I’m doing well today, Mark. Thank you for asking.”
“Did we have an appointment to talk today?” Mark asked.
Silas shook his head. “No, believe it or not, I was actually in the area and thought I’d drop by and check in with you.”
At that, his eyes slid over to Isabelle and she looked away, feeling her cheeks flush with heat. As if picking up on her discomfort, Mark cast her a strange glance before turning back to Silas.
“Well, why don’t we go take a look at the distillery? I’m makin’ some changes in there − kinda like the ones we talked about before,” Mark said. “Why don’t we go take a look and we can talk a little further.”
“Uhh yeah. That’s great,” Silas said. “Let’s do that.”
Silas cast one last glance back at her as he walked off with her brother, leaving her alone with her thoughts for a moment. She let the feeling of relief at having dodged his invitation to dinner wash over her. At least for the time being. But she knew she was not going to be able to keep dodging him forever.
Isabelle knew she needed to learn to be a little more assertive and to stand up for herself. She also knew she needed to learn how to say no to people and not feel bad about it. She did not owe anybody her time and was certainly not obligated to accept a dinner invitation. While Silas was very kind to invite her and his obvious interest in her was certainly flattering, she was not required to reciprocate those feelings or accept his invitation.
Silas was a good man. A kind man. But she did not feel for him the way he obviously felt for her. She did not feel for him the way she felt for Harvey. And as she watched him walking a horse from his barn out to the paddock, she felt the depth of her feelings for him. It felt like a punch to the stomach that nearly took her breath away.
She cut a glance behind her and saw Mark and Silas walking toward the distillery. She quickly finished hanging the laundry to dry − it definitely was not her usually meticulous hanging, but it would do. Everything was clean and it would dry.
With that done, she turned and dashed for the house, a grin on her face and a flutter in her heart. She knew she was going to be bold and forward again. It seemed like it was becoming a regular thing with her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
As he headed into the barn, Harvey looked out across to Mark’s yard and saw Isabelle standing with Silas and had to bite back a growl. Billy, one of his ranch hands, handed him the reins of a horse he was breaking over to him.
“She had
a good turn today,” Billy said. “I think a few more days’ll do it with her.”
“Good work, Billy,” Harvey said. “I’ll take her from here. Give her a good brush down.”
Billy gave him a grateful nod and left him standing with the horse. As he stripped the saddle off the mare and hung it up, his mind turned back to thoughts of Isabelle. He thought Silas seemed to be spending more time at Mark’s ranch than he should − and by that, he meant spending more time with Isabelle than Harvey liked seeing.
It was ridiculous of course. He had no claim to Isabelle and in fact, was still trying to keep his feelings for her at bay. Although he was not looking to be romantically involved with anybody, there was something about Isabelle that was challenging his resolve. He did not know how she was doing it, but she was definitely breaking through the walls he had up ever since Amy died.
A Healing Love for the Broken Cowboy: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 19
