by Liza Kay
“Um...” Jamie considered lying his way out of this, but quickly decided against it. He’d done enough of that already, and he didn’t want to hurt Charlie. Sighing deeply, he closed his arms around her. “Ben was looking for a female. Since I dress in female clothes occasionally, my best friend suggested I give it a try. My parents tossed me out last week, and I had no job and no place to sleep aside from Maria’s sofa.” Jamie ran his fingers through Charlie’s hair. “I never meant to hurt you or Ben with my lies. I’m so sorry. Ever since I met you two, I wanted to come clean. But I was afraid...”
“That Uncle Ben would give you the boot because your family did it, too?” Charlie grinned. “Not gonna happen. I promise.” She squinted at him. “So... do you like Uncle Ben? Like... like him?” She lowered her voice to a whisper when they heard Ben making a ruckus in the living room. “Are you into boys?”
Jamie nodded. “I am. But dating the boss is a bad idea. Have you never seen that on TV?”
“Sure. But mostly it ends with a big wedding.” She giggled. “I’ll help you two.” Charlie danced away, all starry-eyed and too eager for Jamie’s comfort. “You should make hot chocolate. Uncle Ben can never resist a good cup. And don’t be cheap on the marshmallows.” She ran out of the kitchen and, at the top of lungs, yelled, “Uncle Ben, you need to shower before dinner and dress nicely for Janie.”
Cringing, Jamie palmed his face and groaned. This couldn’t be happening. It was already way too hard to keep his thoughts and his hands off Ben’s rugged, cowboyish handsomeness. If Charlie played matchmaker... Heaven help them! But maybe Charlie would help unruffle Ben’s feathers when Jamie told him the truth. Jamie wouldn’t rule out that Charlie might use blackmail against her own uncle in case Ben wanted to fire him.
Charlie returned, dragging Ben with her by the hand. “Did you know that Uncle Ben loves ballet?” Her voice was too innocent. Jamie shot her a warning look, but of course she ignored him.
Ben frowned. “I do?”
“Of course you do! Remember when grandma took us to that performance? You were staring at the male dancers.” Charlie gave her uncle a toothy grin.
The little devil is really trying to play matchmaker. Jamie cleared his throat. “Well, I can totally relate, Ben. It’s those tights. They are... distracting.”
Ben’s eyes widened, and he looked back and forth between him and Charlie a little helplessly. A blush graced his tanned face. “I... ah... ballet is strength in motion, yes? Very fascinating.”
Jamie suppressed a laugh. He wanted to change the topic, but Charlie was faster.
“I think Janie should dance for us. I’d love to see you in tights and a tutu. Wouldn’t you, too, Uncle Ben?”
Jamie met Ben’s gaze and knew he was blushing something fierce.
“Oh, did you hear that? It’s a hot shower calling my name. See you in a bit, ladies.” Ben almost fled from the kitchen. The poor man.
Deciding to follow Charlie’s tip, Jamie grabbed the recipe book and read the instructions for the best hot chocolate in Kansas.
Chapter Seven
Jamie squealed when Ben grabbed him around the hips and lifted him. “No! What are you... I’m too heavy!” He tightened his body, carefully trying to balance Ben’s clumsy shuffles toward the tree.
“Nonsense. Light as a feather and just as graceful. Now shut up and place the damn star on top of the tree before I throw my back out.”
Charlie giggled from her place on the sofa. “We should’ve done this yesterday. Grandma would be scandalized that we’re decorating on the twenty-fourth.”
“Really?” Ben grunted when Jamie accidentally kicked him. “Get my cell and make a picture for grandma.”
Jamie finally fixed the star on top of the tree and patted Ben’s hair. “All done. Did I hurt you? I’m usually more careful with my partners during lifting figures.” He tried not to groan when Ben let him slowly slide down his front.
Ben raised an eyebrow. He still had his hands on Jamie’s hips, and they stood way too close for casual tree decorating.
“Stay exactly like that!” Charlie shoved a box of kitschy plastic trash that didn’t deserve the name Christmas decoration from her lap and jumped from the sofa. She snatched a cell from the armchair Ben had sat in earlier and flashed them with the photoflash before they could say eggnog.
“No, you don’t!” Ben charged at her.
Charlie squealed and—clutching the phone—ran to the sofa, performed a perfect roll over it, and landed as graceful as the friendly neighborhood spider. “You’ll never get me! My powers are... powerful.”
Jamie laughed and picked up the box. “Enough, you two. We’ll never get this tree finished.” He lifted a particularly ugly green plastic car caked with glitter from the box and held it up. “Maybe that would be best for the poor tree.”
Ben pointed at him. “I’ll be right back. No dissing our very traditional ornaments!” He turned and left for the kitchen.
“Traditional?”
Charlie took the car from him. “They were my dad’s. He bought them when he’d had enough of Grandma’s too-perfect tree. She seriously kept it in green and white. That’s all.” Charlie widened her eyes dramatically. “The nerve.”
Jamie flopped on the floor, still holding the box. Ben had never talked about Charlie’s parents, and Jamie hadn’t asked because he hadn’t wanted to intrude. But he was curious.
Charlie must’ve noticed, because she smiled and sat beside him. “It’s fine. Dad died when I was three. I don’t really remember him, but Uncle Ben made a ton of photo albums for me.” Charlie turned the green car between her fingers. “It was a car accident.”
“And... your mom?”
Charlie rolled her eyes. “She was Dad’s girlfriend in high school. Stuff happened... well, I happened. Dad wanted to marry her, but she decided to leave the speck of cow shit on the map of Kansas as fast as possible. Without us.” She shrugged and lifted her chin. “I had Grandma and Ben. Now I have you as well.”
“Telling Janie about mommy dearest?” Ben leaned over them and lowered a cup in front of Jamie. “Eggnog?”
Smiling gratefully, Jamie took the cup. “Thanks!”
“Aww, nothing for me?”
Ben, holding a cup as well, fell back into the armchair and stretched out his legs. “Hot chocolate’s waiting in the kitchen, imp.”
Charlie squinted. “I bet it’s the instant stuff.” She got up anyway and raced from the living room.
“I’m sorry about your brother,” Jamie murmured. He curled his hands around the cup and met Ben’s gaze. “I have siblings. I can’t even imagine...”
Ben smiled warmly. “Thank you. It was hard losing my baby brother. I hope... that he’d semi-approve of my unique parenting style.” He smirked. “Clyde was such a stuffy little shit sometimes.”
“Charlie loves you.” Jamie shrugged and sipped his eggnog. “In the end, that’s all that matters to kids, right? That you love them the way they are.” Something passed between them in that moment. The room was quiet, though Charlie could be heard rummaging in the kitchen. The only light came from the tree and the fire Ben had lit earlier. Ben’s clear blue eyes looked luminous and truly mesmerizing in the dusky light.
Clearing his throat, Jamie decided to chance the topic. “So... presents. I did my best, but I’m not sure if you and Charlie will like them.” He shifted the cup to one hand and ran the other over his knee, smoothing out the red-and-green checkered dress he was wearing.
“Don’t worry about it too much. I’m sure Charlie only hasn’t asked about them because she’s occupied by the tree. I might turn this decorating late thingy into a tradition.”
Jamie frowned. “Are you trying to tell me she gets her presents today?”
“One of them. Before bedtime.” Ben grinned. “The rest is for tomorrow, but she’s allowed to choose the bounty.”
“Then you’ll have to excuse me. I thought I had tonight to
wrap the gifts.” Jamie stood, closed the distance between them, and kissed Ben’s cheek. He pressed his cup into Ben’s hand. “Watch this for me.”
Ben looked surprised, but not unpleasantly so.
Feeling a blush blooming on his cheeks, Jamie fled up to his room. That was maybe three sips of eggnog. Way to go, James.
* * * *
Ben was very pleased when Charlie clutched the spider man outfit to her chest. He’d bought them at a shop specializing in themed sportswear, since Charlie had mentioned she wanted a hero outfit for school. Now she had something appropriate for gym class.
Janie had gotten her a knitted winter hat that looked like the helmet of a rakish blond Norse god. Ben doubted Charlie would take it off anytime soon.
“Okay, this is for you.” Janie held out a silver-wrapped box tied with a white bow.
Ben took it and shook his head. “Aww. I don’t need anything. I have you and Charlie.”
“Gag,” Charlie said, but the smile on her face gave her away.
Janie waved him off. “Nonsense. You’re my guardian angel, Ben. Without you, I’d have celebrated Christmas alone in Chicago.”
Ben carefully took off the bow and stared peeling at the tape until Charlie groaned. “All right!” Taking pity in his niece, Ben tore through the paper to her and Janie’s obvious delight. He lifted the lid and laughed. “Are you serious?”
“What did you get?” Charlie leaned over, trying to peek into the box.
Janie shrugged. “What? You paid for my winter boots. I thought it only fair to return the favor.”
“By buying me ballet shoes?” Ben lifted them from the box and flopped them around. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
Janie winked. “Considering that awesome lift you did earlier, I’d say I picked exactly the right thing. We can build on that.”
Shaking his head, Ben let Charlie examine the shoes. “Thank you. I’ll make sure you deliver on that promise. Now...” He snatched a white box, turned at the waist, and presented it to Janie. “Merry Christmas. This is from me and Charlie.” Ben wasn’t surprised that Janie blushed.
“Thank you,” she whispered. When Janie opened the box, she gasped. “Oh... Ben... that’s too much.”
“No, it’s not.” Sensing a lengthy discussion, Ben took matters into his own hands and lifted the silver bracelet from the box. It was one of those bracelets that had room for a ton of different charms. And two were already attached. “May I?” He waited until Janie lifted his hand, then fixed the bracelet around her wrist. “Fits perfectly.”
Janie fingered the charms and laughed. “A cow?”
“I picked it,” Charlie said proudly.
The charm and the bracelet were silver. When Janie studied the other charm, her blush deepened. “A... ballet shoe.”
Ben rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Two people, one brain cell. Obviously.”
“Ben, that’s...” Janie’s eyes were suspiciously shiny. “Thank you so much!” She hugged Charlie and pressed a kiss to her hair. “You two... trying to make me cry!”
“Maybe a little.” Charlie grinned. “Can I open another one, Uncle Ben?”
“Absolutely not. And it’s time for bed anyway. You know the drill.” Ben was glad for the distraction, since he wasn’t sure if he’d overstepped with the bracelet. He’d clearly made Janie at least a little uncomfortable.
In true Charlie fashion, she saluted and was up on her feet in a second. “A real hero knows when it’s best to retreat. Good night.” Charlie gave them both kisses, then hurried out of the living room, but not without snatching her comic book from the sofa’s armrest.
“Thirty minutes!” Janie called after her. “Not one second longer, or breakfast will be oatmeal instead of bacon.”
“Harsh.” Ben laughed. “But effective. Are you tired? I could whip up more eggnog for us. And we got a fresh layer of snow earlier, so the view from the porch swing will be awesome.”
Janie bit her bottom lip. “I’m not sure. It has to be freezing out there.”
Ben hummed. “Tell you what. I need to make my evening round through the barns anyway. So why don’t you make us something hot—your choice—and meet me in Delilah’s stall in thirty. We can give her a Christmas treat.”
“I never thought I’d spend Christmas eve with a cow.” Janie giggled. “Fine. See you in thirty.”
When Ben entered Delilah’s stall, the picture greeting him made him chuckle. Janie had spread a blanket over some hay bales and lay on them, curled up in another blanket. A basket with a thermos, cups, and a cookie box rested on the hay-strewn floor beside her. Entertaining Charlie was a tiring job, and Janie had been up all day doing not only that but preparing an awesome meal.
Okay, the mashed potatoes had been a bit too salty and the roast a little dry, but it beat whatever Ben would’ve cooked. He didn’t expect her to be a five-star chef. Ben had seen how stressed Janie had been while preparing dinner, how anxiously she’d awaited his and Charlie’s judgment.
Poor baby.
Delilah watched them with bored indifference while she munched on some hay sticking from her mouth. Ben squatted down and tried to wake Janie, but she mumbled something and snuggled deeper into the blanket. It was probably a bad idea, but Ben reached out and brushed his fingertips over her cheek.
Janie turned on her side and threw an arm around his neck. “Hmm.”
Smiling, Ben rubbed her arm. “Hey, sleepy head.”
Janie’s warm brown eyes opened, and for a moment she smiled dreamily at Ben. Then she licked her soft lips.
Ben’s breath caught. Staring at her plush, wide mouth, he leaned in until his lips met hers. When Janie gasped, Ben recoiled in horror and landed on his ass.
Janie sat up and placed her fingers over her mouth. Her eyes were wide with... shock?
“Shit. I’m sorry.” Ben groaned and squeezed his eyes closed. “I don’t know what came over me. That was... I apologize.” He opened his eyes and found Janie looking at him with wobbling lips. Fuck. He was a horrible person. “It will never happen again.”
“Ben...” Her voice shook. She reached for him. “Please, I... I need to tell you something. About me.” Janie looked pale as she curled her fingers around the blanket.
Brushing a hand through his hair, Ben stood. “It’s fine. I know already. And I don’t mind.”
“What?” She frowned.
“Look, you’re great with Charlie. She likes you, and that’s all that matters to me.” Ben struggled for words. He didn’t want to offend Janie, but he needed her to understand that her identity wasn’t an issue for him. “To me it doesn’t matter if you were born as Janie or... not. Okay?” He looked at her, hoping she understood what he was trying to tell her. “I mean... it’s none of my business what’s under your clothes. In this house, you’re safe and will always be respected.”
Janie’s eyes widened to the point that Ben feared they would pop out of her head. Her hands shook as she got up from the bales and stood before him. “You... you think I’m...” She groaned and placed her hands over her face.
“Hey.” Ben carefully took her in his arms and rocked her from side to side. He’d thought his words would help Janie, but she seemed even more distressed.
Janie hid her face in the crook of his neck. “My name is Jamie,” he mumbled. “Well, James Spencer.”
Confused, Ben stroked her back. “Janie, you don’t have to—”
“No!” Janie pushed him away. “You’re incredibly sweet, Ben. From the moment we met, you’ve been nothing but nice and understanding. You’re so fucking perfect it’s unbelievable. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not who you think I am. I lied to you.”
Ben blinked. He sat down, perching on the edge of the hay bale. “Lied? I don’t understand.”
Janie brushed a hand through her long hair and sniffed. “I’m Jamie. A very unsuccessful ballet dancer who lost his last job as a cashier. My
dad found me dressed in one of my sister’s dresses and tossed me out. I crashed at my best friend’s place, looking for a job. But nobody was hiring. When Maria sent me your ad I...” Janie sank back down on the bale. She... no, he hung his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I was desperate. You were looking for a female nanny, so Maria suggested I should... I shouldn’t have done that.” Janie... no, Jamie... let out a choking sound and started crying.
Ben sat dumbfounded and watched the beautiful person before him fall apart. He supposed he should be at least a little offended, but did he have the right to be? Jamie was perfect for the job, and if Ben hadn’t explicitly—dumbly—searched for a female, Jamie wouldn’t have been forced to hide his true identity. Ben had made the wrong conclusion about Janie and had not had the balls to just ask. Hell, he’d kissed Jamie without permission, which had led to Jamie’s revelation.
Ben leaned in and enfolded Jamie in a tight embrace. “Shhh. Don’t cry, sweets. It’s okay.”
Jamie shook in his arms. “I’ll pack my stuff.”
“No, you won’t.”
“But—”
“Do you have any idea what Charlie would do to me if I let you leave?” Ben winked. He cupped Jamie’s cheek. “And do you have any idea how confused I was because of you?”
Jamie blinked. “What?”
“You had me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. I cursed myself for wanting you so badly.”
“Oh. Oh my!” Jamie’s eyes widened. “And you thought I was a woman.” He laughed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to turn your life upside down.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. And to Charlie.” Ben placed his forehead against Jamie’s. “If it were up to me, I’d never let you go.”
Delilah mooed softly, making them both chuckle.
Jamie slid his fingers through Ben’s hair. “We’ve only known each other a week, Mr. Franklin. Are all cowboys that fast?”
“When it comes to roping what we want, yes.” Ben grinned when he saw the same excitement he felt reflected in Jamie’s brown eyes. “Charlie says with a little Christmas magic, anything is possible.”
