by Nikki Sloane
It was the first time he’d heard his name in my voice, and while his eyes softened, his hold on me tightened. Had he done it to prevent himself from pulling me deeper into his embrace?
He opened his mouth to say something, but a woman in a matching uniform appeared at his side and gave us a curious look. He let go of me and straightened, and even though it was hot in the sun, it was instantly cold when his touch was gone.
The woman didn’t have a stethoscope around her shoulders like he did, and her name badge only had her first name on it, so she was probably a vet tech like me. Her tone was light and friendly. “You two know each other?”
Yes.
But also, no.
“Yeah.” Travis lifted a hand my direction as if he were going to introduce me, and paused, realizing he still didn’t know my name. His gaze dropped to my silver nametag and he studied the print there. “Lilith and I . . . have a mutual friend.”
His face contorted with displeasure at the inadequate statement.
Well, at least it was true, wasn’t it? I pressed my lips together.
The woman was oblivious to the tension between us. She nodded and glanced impatiently toward the clinic, wanting to do the job they’d come here for. So, I plastered on a smile and hoped he couldn’t hear how affected he’d made me. “Welcome. Let me show you where the MRI is, Doctor.”
As I suspected, by the time we made it into the room, there was barely any space left. The team from the zoo was assisted by some of our staff as the pad beneath the tiger was used to lift him onto the table.
I squeezed in beside Cassidy, and as Travis spoke with Dr. Johnston, my focus was drawn to the big cat. God, he was beautiful. A brilliant orange with vivid black stripes and a distinguished ruff that looked like a beard. It was amazing to be so close.
The tiger’s name was Harta, and for the last few months he’d been experiencing sporadic seizures. His episode on Tuesday wasn’t any different than the others, but he shared an enclosure with his sister Eka. She’d been so concerned, staff worried the female tiger might accidentally hurt him while trying to help or protect her brother.
My gaze drifted from the sedated animal to the group of doctors discussing symptoms and what they’d look for on the scan. Travis listened thoughtfully as Dr. Johnston spoke, but I couldn’t focus on what she was saying.
He’d cancelled our Tuesday session because he had a work emergency. Had he told Clay what that emergency was? Because tiger seizures would not have been my first guess. But—oh, God—this new information was almost too much to bear. It felt like, at least on paper, Clay had unknowingly picked the perfect guy for me.
Or maybe he’d done it knowingly. It added another layer as to why he’d been reluctant to tell me anything about Travis.
During the MRI, he glanced my direction, and when he caught me looking, I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor. Two months ago, I would have simply smiled back at him. It wasn’t that my confidence was gone now. Taking my gaze off him was a safety measure. If I looked at him long enough and saw how good his scrubs fit around his toned frame, it was possible I’d be pushing people out of my way in my struggle to plant my lips on his.
Thankfully, Harta’s scan was clear. There were no tumors or lesions, and after consulting with the other doctors, Travis announced they’d manage the seizures with medication.
It was the best possible outcome, and I felt the same relief he did, judging by his expression. As the team prepared Harta for his return trip to the zoo, I slowly worked my way toward the man I’d broken rules with last night.
He thanked everyone at the clinic for their time and help, and when his attention settled on me, I subtly ticked my head toward the door.
“Can we talk?” I wordlessly asked.
He turned to the vet tech beside him. “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
My pulse moved much quicker than my feet as he followed me out of the MRI room and into a nearby consultation one. Luckily, it had already been cleaned for the night. He ignored everything else in the room, including the wallpaper border of cartoon cats chasing balls of yarn, and turned to face me as I shut the door behind us, closing us in together.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted. “Being with you wasn’t a mistake. I still feel your kiss, and it’s burning me up inside.”
His eyes went wide with shock.
The dam had been broken and now that it was out, the rest poured from me. “I like Clay, but I like you too, and I love what we have. The problem is I don’t know if I’m allowed to like you, and I know I’m not supposed to like him, so it’s just really confusing.” I frowned. “I’m not like this. Usually I know what I want, and I say what I mean, but with this arrangement, everything’s different.”
He pulled his shoulders back like the information had been overwhelming and confusion washed over his face. “Wait. You’re not supposed to like him?”
I swallowed a breath. “I’m not supposed to, like romantically. We agreed no love or feelings. It’s only supposed to be a sexual relationship, and he promised to teach me about, well, all the stuff we’ve been doing.”
Something flitted through his eyes like a glimmer of hope, but it was gone too quickly for me to be sure. “But you like him romantically,” he said. “And you’re saying it’s the same for me?”
He’d asked his question as if he suspected the answer, and I was too distracted to pick up on his subtle approach until his hand gently cuffed my wrist. His touch was disarming, and I spoke more to myself than to him. “I don’t know if it’s allowed.”
My voice had been feather-soft, but his was solid and confident. “Then we should find out.”
His statement seared deep inside, filling up the space around the kiss he’d given me last night, and as soon as it did, I had to make even more room because he tugged me toward him and lowered his lips to mine. His mouth stifled the gasp I made, which shifted into a content sigh, because this kiss?
It was blistering.
Everything else ignited and burned away in the fire of it.
“Clay’s house,” he said as he came up for air. “Eight-thirty. We can talk to him then.”
It was more of a request than a question, but that was fine with me. I’d fallen so deeply under his spell, I didn’t care that I was at work or what I looked like. All I wanted was his kiss. “Okay.”
His tongue slid into my mouth, caressing mine, and pleasure rushed between my legs. For a brief moment, I was angry with how he’d been kept from me, but his hand was on my waist, and he tilted the angle of our kiss, increasing the intensity of it, and all was forgotten.
“Dr. Eckhart?” a female voice called from behind the door.
It was like a needle dragging across a record and instantly his lips were gone, severing our kiss. He stepped away, pulled open the door, and cast a glance back at me. “See you tonight, Lilith.”
My face was warm and my lips still tingling as I watched him go, and I didn’t move until the hallway drained of people. But Cassidy was there, lying in wait for me, and one quick look told her something had gone down while Travis and I had been alone.
Her tone was hushed but playful. “What was that about?” Her mouth curled into a smile. “I swear, that’s got to be some kind of record.”
“What?” We trailed behind the rest of the team, and it was highly unlikely they could hear us over the rattling wheels of the cart.
“You always get hit on and that guy got you alone in, like, ten seconds.” She shook her head in amused disbelief. “Not that I blame you. He’s a hot and a doctor.”
“And we all know how much you like those,” I teased, then sobered. “I know him. His name’s Travis and . . . he’s the other guy I’m sleeping with.”
“Oh, wow.” She pulled to a stop just inside the doors, while the rest of the group continued down the walkway to the truck. “Wait. Sleeping with? You did it more than once?”
My gaze followed Travis as he s
upervised the cage being loaded and shook hands with the clinic staff. I took in a shallow breath. “Only one time,” I said, “when Clay wasn’t watching us.”
Her head swiveled to me and her jaw dropped, but she didn’t produce a sound. My admission hung awkwardly until she closed her mouth with an audible snap.
“You weren’t fucking kidding,” she gave me wide-eyed look, “when you said it was complicated.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
And I was beginning to think what I had with Clay and Travis was exactly the right kind of complicated.
At eight-fifteen, I went down the stone pathway in front of my house and out the gate, heading toward Clay’s with a new pair of red strappy sandals on and a head full of worry. Travis had said to meet him at eight thirty, but I planned to use the time before to play with Noir while I rehearsed what I was going to say.
But when I unlocked the front door and pushed it open, the alarm didn’t chirp as it normally did. Oh, God. With what had happened with Travis yesterday, had I forgotten to set the security system before leaving?
No, wait—I had. I remembered doing it, plus Clay had his app on his phone. If I’d forgotten, he would have eventually noticed and armed it himself. I only made it a few steps through the entryway before seeing the light on in the kitchen.
Awareness prickled through me. Someone was in the house.
“Hello?” I called.
“I’m in here,” Clay answered back.
What the hell?
He was in the kitchen, wearing jeans and a fitted polo shirt, reminding me of the preppy guys I used to gravitate toward years ago in high school. But in contrast to his look, he was stooped down with a drill in one hand and appeared to be working on a sliding drawer inside one of his cabinets. When I entered, he set down the drill on top of the newly installed counter with a thud, rose, and turned to face me.
His expression was guarded and unreadable.
It was stunning to see him when it was the middle of the week, and he hadn’t mentioned yesterday he was coming back. My breath caught seeing him. Not just because he looked so good, but at the realization it meant we could talk truly face to face.
My throat was tight with anxiety. “What are you doing home?”
He gazed at me for a long moment and stood absolutely still, making awareness tingle in me once more.
Finally, he spoke. “I told my team I had an emergency and needed a couple days.”
Oh. No.
He knew.
SEVENTEEN
Guilt drove my gaze to the floor, and I stared intently at the drill Clay had abandoned there.
“A drawer’s not that urgent,” I attempted to joke, but my voice lost power as I went. “It probably could have waited.”
“Lilith.”
He said it in the same tone he used when he told me to look at him. I dragged my gaze up, dreading the hurt or anger I deserved to find in him, but it wasn’t there. His face remained an emotionless mask.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. Remorse was a thick lump in my throat, making it hard to swallow. “When did Travis tell you?”
He flinched at hearing Travis’s name come out of my mouth. “He didn’t.”
It was like it was suddenly too difficult to look at me and he turned slightly, blinking against the sensation.
“Then—” I started, confused.
“I saw you two on the cameras.”
I’d completely forgotten about them, and—oh, God—now I felt even worse. I flattened a hand to my chest as if I could smother the guilt raging through me. Hearing about what we’d done was bad enough. Witnessing it was extra cruel.
“I stopped watching,” he added quietly, “once it was clear what was going to happen.”
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated.
He shook his head and his gaze returned to me. His expression finally had an emotion, but it wasn’t anger or jealousy or sadness. It looked like shame.
“It wasn’t your fault, Lilith,” he said. “It was mine.”
His admission was jarringly the same as Travis’s had been, and kind of ridiculous. Why was it both men wanted to take complete responsibility for my actions? “What are you talking about?”
He took a tentative step my direction, closing some of the space between us. “I kept you siloed off from each other, and I tried to do the same with the way I felt about you, but I . . . got jealous.” He took another step, moving closer still. “So, then I overcorrected, and I pushed you toward him.”
My heart stumbled and beat faster. Was that true? Clay knew how curious I was, and Travis said he felt like we’d been set up to fail.
“I convinced myself I wanted it to happen,” he said. “Once I saw you two together, I thought it’d—I don’t know—cure me of the way I was feeling.” He made a face like he thought in hindsight the idea was stupid. “Or maybe I’d see how badly I was standing in the way.”
I licked my dry lips, unsure of what to say, but thankfully he wasn’t finished.
“In a way, it did both.” He lifted a hand, and I stood utterly still as he cupped the back of my neck and gently drew me toward him until I was only a breath away. “You like him,” he said softly, “and that’s okay.”
I let out a tight breath. “I like you too, though. And . . . I really like what we have.” My voice fell to a whisper. “I’m terrified of losing it and terrified these feelings won’t last.”
Rather than be surprised or disappointed, the corner of his mouth turned up into a pleased and sexy smile. “You’re worried you’re going to get bored?”
He’d said it like it wasn’t possible, but I knew myself. As much as I wanted it to, this feeling wouldn’t last. I’d get through the honeymoon stage of the relationship, and then feel like it’d run its course.
“It always happens,” I said.
His hold on me was stable and supportive and reassuring. “If your feelings are temporary, I’d like to remind you—so is my arrangement with him.”
I frowned. “Is that a threat?”
“What?” He softened. “No, no. I just meant it’s possible your feelings about Travis might go away before my project’s even finished. Or maybe we change our minds about our arrangement with him. It’s not exactly something I can plan.” His eyes deepened, filling with gravity. “I like what we have too, Lilith. Enough to fly home today and try to work this out so I don’t lose you.” His shoulders straightened abruptly because he hadn’t meant to phrase it that way. “So we don’t lose what we have,” he corrected.
Oh, wow. I swallowed a breath because his admission made excitement flutter inside me.
“I’m not Travis,” he continued. “There are things he can give you that I can’t, so if I’m standing in the way of you two—”
“You’re not,” I said in a rush.
Maybe it was true that Travis could offer me things Clay couldn’t, but it went both ways. Clay gave me an experience Travis didn’t seem capable of, at least not without Clay’s direction.
Relief scrubbed away Clay’s worry. “Okay. Good.”
When he leaned in and slanted his lips across mine, it momentarily voided all thoughts from my mind. His mouth was warm and his tongue lush, and even though this kiss was clearly scripted, I melted all the same.
His skilled mouth pressed to mine while his hands caressed the curves of my body, moving as if he had complete ownership over me. Didn’t he? Like Noir, I felt jointly owned. And Clay’s domination wasn’t what I expected it to be. Sometimes it was subtle persuasion, not force. Requests instead of demands.
It was fucking irresistible.
I’d been filled with trepidation coming over here and admitting what I’d done. The last place I expected to end up was in his arms, him kissing me and acting like there was nothing to forgive.
“You’re not mad us?” I asked.
“No, I’m not upset with you.”
His meaning nearly slipped past
me because his touch was so distracting, but I paused. “And Travis?”
He exhaled, reluctantly straightened, and gave me a pointed look. “I’m disappointed with him.”
I was compelled to defend him. “But why not me?”
“Because he’s supposed to have more self-control.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just tell me you wanted it to happen?”
“I did, but he’s a dominant and I trained him better than that. He shouldn’t have given in to what he wanted so quickly.”
I sucked in a surprised breath. Clay had trained Travis? The idea was . . .
Hot.
Oh, my God, it was so hot. What had that been like?
For once, Clay was oblivious to the effect he could have on me. “I’ll discuss it with him when he gets here.” His gaze traced over my lips as if considering kissing me again. “When I called to set a time with him tonight, he told me you ran into each other at work today.”
“We did.”
“Nashville’s a big city, but I knew there was a chance it’d happen since you’re both in the same field.”
“It was pretty surprising,” I said pointedly, “coming face-to-face with Dr. Eckhart.”
Clay matched my tone. “And it was pretty surprising when I asked last night if he’d left, and you said yes.”
I pressed my lips together. “I’m sorry about that.”
He turned serious. “I shouldn’t have withheld information from you, and I’m done doing that. We both need to be better about communicating.”
I was about to speak when the doorbell rang out, making my heart skip. Travis was early.
“Go downstairs,” Clay said calmly. “I’ll get the door.”
I hesitated. “We said we were going to talk to you together.”
His eyes stayed fixed on me, even as he began to move toward the doorway that led to the entryway. “It’s all right. I have a plan.”
Warmth spilled through my limbs. “Of course you do.”
I went down the steps slowly, trying to hear what was happening at the front door, but it was quiet. Had Travis been as surprised as I was to see Clay was home? Or had Clay already told him? Everything had happened so fast when I’d discovered him in the kitchen, we hadn’t gotten much of a chance to talk details.
