by T. R. Cupak
His name was Aaron Dutton, a third-year medical student and Dean’s list honoree. He had thrown away a promising life for what, to get off on fucking a limp body? All I can say is that Aaron got lucky the campus police got to him before Deacon and Kade. Both men had been out for blood and would have risked everything for me.
Once the trial was over, and Aaron was locked up, I felt like I could breathe again. Even so, Sydnee made sure I went to counseling. It was in group therapy that I learned some people don’t recover from something so heinous, but once I came to grip with my reality, I swore I wouldn’t act like a victim. There was no way I would become the woman who was afraid to leave her house, live her life, fall in love, or be frightened of her own shadow. My mind kicked into self-preservation mode, and learning to defend myself was my number one priority. Deacon was more than happy to train me even though I was at the opposite end of the state from him. He never wanted me to feel helpless ever again.
So, my brother geared me up with professional-grade pepper spray, a small taser, and took me to the gun range every day off he had. After I was comfortable with a gun, he surprised me with a 9mm CZ P-01Ω with magazine extensions that, at the time, only law enforcement officers can get. He also suggested I get my concealed carry weapon permit and outfitted my car and bedroom with hidden gun safes.
My brother taught me the best ways to fight off and escape an attacker if I couldn’t get to one of my forms of protection I now carry everywhere. Unfortunately, everything he taught me would only work if I was still conscious, not drugged, and passed out like I was in college. Nothing could have saved me then. But I don’t plan to be in a position for that to happen ever again.
“I’M SORRY, dear brother. That question was for me, and I’m more than capable of answering for myself.” And to drive the point home and piss Deacon off, I tell Kade that I would appreciate the escort out to my car.
Kade backs away from my desk and walks out into the hall while I gather my things. He’s still in my line of sight, and I can hear Deacon telling him to back off, but the look on Kade’s face clearly says he doesn’t give a fuck.
Does he look at me and see a woman, or does he see his best friend’s younger sister?
I’ve wanted to ask that question for years but never found the courage to get the words out. Someday, I will finally ask, just not today.
3
DEACON
“Bro, this weird game you’re playing needs to stop,” I tell Kade as he pulls into the police department’s gated underground parking garage. The ride between my family’s office at the vineyard and the station was awkwardly quiet. He knows damn well my sister is off-limits to him, yet he stares at her as if he wants her.
“D, we’re friends. She’s like a sister to me too.” His tone is defensive, and if I know my friend, that means he’s looking at Britney in a way he promised he never would. I need to nip whatever this is in the bud before I kick Kade’s ass.
“That’s just it. Brit isn’t your sister. She’s my baby sister, and your manwhore dick isn’t going anywhere near her. There is no exception to that rule.” When I glance over at Kade, I catch the eye roll, followed by a low growl. He’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to back down when it comes to Britney.
“First, Brit’s not a baby. She’s only a year and a half younger than us. Stop treating her like she’s still a child. You’re almost as bad as your dad.”
“Oh, I was going for worse than my dad. So, you’re saying there’s room for improvement?” We both open our doors and exit his car. Looking over the roof at Kade, I notice his jaw is clicking like it does when he’s pissed. It’s good to know that I can still get under his skin.
“Fuck off. And wipe that shit-eating grin off of your face. I have no problem leaving you here when our shift ends.”
“What?” That is one thing Kade cannot stand; someone who plays dumb when they are not.
Once inside the building, our mood shifts from bro-banter to work mode, leaving our shit outside. Although the city of Los Palomas may not be too far from where we grew up, it is nothing like our posh town. It’s hard to believe that thirty-five miles outside our city limit is what we refer to as Gangland. It’s like there’s an imaginary wall built around the multi-million-dollar estates, protecting them from Los Palomas’s gangsters, keeping them in the outer limits.
“Winslow. Beaumont. The chief wants to see you.”
“What in the fuck did we do now?” Kade’s short-fuse is still lit from earlier as he speaks before he thinks about who he’s talking to. Besides that, we work nights, and the chief is never here this time of the evening unless something is going down.
“Why do you assume you did something wrong?” Sergeant Black directs the question at Kade. “Did you do something you weren’t supposed to?” His left eyebrow rises toward his receding hairline as he waits for my partner’s answer.
“Nothing, Sarg.”
“Get changed out and meet me at the chief’s office.” We both nod and head to the locker room to change into our blues.
After we have dressed in our uniforms, we follow our sergeant’s instruction and make our way down the hall to the chief’s office. The door is open, and our sergeant waves us in and proceeds to tell me to close the door behind me.
“Chief,” Kade greets with a nod in his direction, and I follow suit.
“We received an anonymous tip that the three Norteño gang members that robbed the bank and liquor store last week are back in town. You had eyes on them before they disappeared. We need you two to get eyes on them again and apprehend with caution,” Chief Salazar informs us.
“Do we have any leads on where they might be hiding out?” I ask, even though I already know the answer to my question.
“No,” Chief deadpans.
“We have a CI we can contact. There’s a possibility that he’s seen them or heard where they might be,” I offer as a half-ass solution to the minimal information our superiors are giving us.
“Well, don’t just stand there. Get on it,” Sergeant Black barks out the order.
Kade and I head to briefing, but as soon as we arrive, our fellow midnight crew is filing out of the room and heading out to their patrol cars.
“Where were you guys?” our shift corporal asks.
“Chief’s office with Black,” Kade answers. Our corporal is a bit of a douche, but he always has our backs, so we don’t hold it against him, most days.
“Care to fill me in?”
“The chief wants us to get eyes on the Norteños from last week,” I answer.
“Why wasn’t I told?”
“Take that up with the chief or Black.” Kade’s mood isn’t improving, which only means we’re in for a long night.
“Go change out of your uniforms and put on your BDUs. I want you two partnered up in an unmarked vehicle. If they are back in town, we don’t want them to know we’re already looking for them.” That’s the smartest thing he’s said since the robberies last week. As directed, we hastily change out of our uniforms and into our BDUs.
“We’re going to talk to Lil Romeo to see if he knows anything,” Kade informs our corporal when we run into him outside of the locker room. In return, we receive a nod of understanding.
Before we disappear down the hall toward the garage, Corporal Duncan reminds us that we are not to act like heroes and try to take down the suspects on our own. He told us that if we find them, call for back-up, and wait, emphasis on the word “wait.” If we engage and lose them, it will be automatic administrative leave for insubordination.
The request doesn’t come from a place of distrust, but from a place that Corporal Duncan knows first hand. He’s well aware that Kade and I show no fear. Our approach to a potentially high-risk traffic stop or call can be considered reckless at times. We’ve been told to stand down and wait for back-up but have taken our chances if we felt the perpetrators would flee, entering dark alleys or warehouses without so much as our duty guns and tasers. Some of the ot
her officers we work with have nicknamed us the “Cowboys,” and they never once complain if we’re their back-up. They know they’ll go home safe.
We’ve been driving around for a couple of hours when our confidential informant, Lil Romeo, an ex-gang member who was shot in the back, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down, finally responds to Kade’s text message. He says he’d heard Abel Flores and Jesus and Chico Hernandez were back but doesn’t know where they are hiding out. Lil Romeo tells us he will text if he finds out anything further. Still, since he’s able to give us their names, we can run them through our database and cross-reference with the Drug Enforcement Administration and the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
After running their names, we find that these particular gang members are not only wanted in California but also Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and Mexico too. They are also known to be drug runners for one of the Mexican cartels, which means that this shit just got way more complicated.
“I don’t get it. Why would they chance getting caught robbing a bank and a liquor store?” Kade asks the question we’re both thinking as we stare at the computer screens displaying all three of their pictures with their rap sheets that go on for pages. “That’s petty bullshit that the cartel doesn’t bother with.”
“Fuck if I know.” I’m just as confused as my partner. These men are more dangerous and more connected than we anticipated. And why didn’t we learn this from our informant?
“Whatcha got, guys?” Sergeant Black asks as he shuffles toward the desks where we’re sitting.
“The CI gave us their names and said he would text if he finds out anything more.” I proceed to fill in our sergeant on what we’ve found out through our database search.
“Is Romeo a good informant? Do you trust what he’s telling you?”
Kade and I have been using Lil Romeo as a CI ever since he was discharged from the hospital after being shot by a rival gang member a couple of years back. We made him a deal that if he worked with us that he wouldn’t face jail time, and since agreeing, all intel he has provided to us has been legit. Romeo is not afraid to tell us when he is uncertain about the information disclosed.
“He hasn’t lied to us yet,” I answer Black’s question. “But he did fail to mention their cartel connection.”
“Is it possible he doesn’t know?”
“That is a possibility,” Kade responds. “I think he would clam up if he knew. No one wants to be in the crosshairs of the cartel, and even though Lil Romeo isn’t an active gang member, it doesn’t make him untouchable, especially if anyone finds out he’s a snitch.”
“Good work. That’s more information than we had when we began. Carry on,” Black says as he continues past us, disappearing down the corridor.
Kade and I go back out on the streets, driving around the shittier side of town, hoping we come across the men we are tasked to find. Having one of the Mexican cartels this close to home doesn’t sit well with either of us, and their random robberies aren’t helping the situation. Are the robberies intended as a distraction for the police department or the DEA and FBI?
4
BRITNEY
My mind hasn’t stopped thinking about Kade, and it’s becoming a distraction. I was honked at twice for sitting at green lights for too long, and I don’t even remember how I got home. It’s like my mind was on autopilot while I was daydreaming about what he would feel like pressed against my body, even if for the briefest moment.
“Earth to Brit,” Sydnee’s voice cuts through my Kade thoughts.
“What?” My tone is snippy, but I didn’t intend for it to come out in such a manner.
“What crawled up your ass?” she rightfully snaps back at me.
“Sorry, Syd. Nothing. What was it you were saying before I rudely zoned out?”
“Deacon or Kade?”
“Both.” The look she gives me lets me know she understands that if it involves both my brother and his too hot best friend, whatever is bothering me isn’t going to be resolved any time soon.
For a brief period of time, Syd and my brother hooked up. Although I still feel terrible for putting the wedge between her and Deacon, I was only trying to rationalize with my brother that he should have the same courtesy and step aside if I chose to date one of his friends. After he ended things with her, I repeatedly apologized, explaining that I never told him to break it off and that it was his own stupidity. She knew it wasn’t my doing.
“Here.” She holds out the bottle of merlot we opened with dinner, and I happily accept it, pouring myself another glass.
“Deacon is a pain in my ass. And don’t get me started on Kade. That man knows damn well what he does to me, and it’s like he enjoys taunting me. He’s the forbidden fruit, and dammit, I want to eat that fucking fruit.” I take a drink from my wine glass before setting it down on the coffee table.
“Then do it.”
It takes me a few seconds to register what my best friend just said. Then do it. I’m an adult, and my brother should not be dictating my love life or lack thereof. But what if I’m misreading the signals Kade has been sending since high school?
“Kade probably has a few women in rotation. There’s no way he’s single,” I reply defeatedly. Not only is Kade built like a god, but he’s charming and kind-hearted under that hard cop exterior. Any woman would be lucky to land him.
“Now you’re a wuss. You’ll never know how he feels unless you put yourself out there.” I love my best friend, and she’s saying everything I want to hear, but sometimes she needs to listen and not give her two-cents because every fiber in my body wants to go to Kade’s house and wait for him to get off work.
“I’m not a wuss. I just don’t think it would be smart to piss off my brother. They have to work together, and carrying family drama into their line of work is a distraction neither one can afford.”
“Fine, can I have him?” Without missing a beat, my left leg juts out, kicking Sydnee on the thigh, where she sits at the opposite end of the couch from me. “Ouch! That freaking hurt, Brit.” She rubs her leg where my foot kicked her, and I feel a little guilty for kicking her, but she deserved it. “And you know damn well I was kidding.” She’s right. I do know she’s joking, but when it comes to Kade, Sydnee knows better.
“That wasn’t funny.” If Sydnee had any doubt whether I would kick her ass if she ever tried anything with Kade, she knows now that I wouldn’t hesitate. Even if I can’t have him, the thought of her with him would be unbearable, and that thought alone makes my heart hurt.
A few minutes pass, and we’re both thoroughly invested in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy when my phone chimes alerting me of a text. Grabbing it from the end table, I touch the screen and see Deacon’s name. I don’t want to message him back, but I know if I don’t, he’ll keep texting until I finally respond.
Deacon: What are you and Syd doing after work tomorrow?
Me: Going home and relaxing. Why?
Deacon: I want you both to meet Kade and me at McShane’s Pub.
My hand freezes over the digital keyboard. Is my brother finally giving in and going to step aside so I can see if there is anything between Kade and me? Am I taking Syd for my brother? I scoot closer to Sydnee so she can see my screen, and the edges of her mouth curve up into a grin. My phone chimes and Sydnee elbows me to respond.
Deacon: Hello?
Me: What time?
Deacon: 1930
Me: You know I hate military time.
Deacon: 7:30 brat.
Me: Don’t call me a brat.
Deacon: Fine. 7:30 Your Majesty.
Me: UR a smartass. See you tomorrow.
Deacon: Better than being a dumbass.
Deacon is easily the most annoying person in my life, but he’s my older brother and best friend. I look up to him, and no matter how hard I try to be mad at him or ignore him, it’s not long before I forgive him, and we’re talking again. He’s my anchor, just as I am his. Yes, he has Kade and I have Sydnee, but we
’re family; we’re blood. No one can replace our bond.
Once the childish banter with Deacon is over, my thoughts scatter, and I can’t seem to focus on just one of them to articulate a coherent sentence to Sydnee. I know I’m getting my hopes up, but I can’t help it. I’ve waited far too long—sixteen years to be exact—to have my chance with Kade without my brother poking his nose in where it doesn’t belong.
From elementary school through high school, Kade Beaumont occupied my thoughts, my dreams—my life. When I graduated high school and left for southern California, I felt like a part of me was missing. At first, I thought, maybe I was homesick, so I would call my parents and FaceTime with Deacon regularly. Although my conversations with the family helped, it didn’t soothe my sense of longing. That’s when I realized it was Kade that I was missing.
Talk about torture. Try having an overprotective brother’s best friend as your forever crush. Knowing I will see him every day and there’s absolutely nothing I could do to show said crush that I’m interested. In the meantime, I’ve had to endure watching Kade with his girlfriends or whatever you want to call the women of his rotating harem.
Kade is a powerhouse, tall and muscular without being a meathead. His long lashes accent his dark eyes, making them both swoon-worthy and intimidating at the same time. The dusting of stubble across his jawline only adds to his sexiness. All that manliness wrapped in a police uniform makes for one sexy cop god.
“Thoughts about tomorrow? I hear those wheels spinning in your head from here.” Sydnee’s question brings my focus back to her.
“Too many possible scenarios. I don’t want to get my hopes up and then have them crushed. Deacon has a way of ruining my life.”
“He only ruins your sex life. Let’s hope for the best and not be so pessimistic.” Sydnee is right. I’ll give my brother the benefit of the doubt and hope he’s come to his senses.
