‘Of course!’ Jessica had said, surprised (and hoping that none of the details would reach her daughter’s ear at school). She’d started to tweet: Feeling great after … then stopped. No, this was just for her.
Last night in the car park, Dave had given her a quick peck on the cheek. ‘Well, that was eventful,’ he’d said.
She’d been filled with sudden remorse. If she really was engaged to this man, hinting that there might be someone else was a horrible thing to have done. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to pop back to mine for a coffee?’ she said, instantly regretting her choice of proffered beverage.
Why had coffee become a euphemism for sex? Should she have offered tea, just to be absolutely clear about her intentions.
Dave had raised his eyebrows. ‘Perhaps not right now,’ he said. ‘Let’s just say, I’m not really thirsty.’
Which had meant what? That he didn’t fancy her? That he was still annoyed after her exhibition? Or that he didn’t want a caffeinated drink at quarter to eleven in the evening?
She’d driven home, wondering what on earth she should be hoping for. Did she want to be engaged to Dave? She missed him, definitely. Loved him, maybe. But surely true love shouldn’t hinge on whether she was a size ten or a fourteen? Surely her tiny muffin top shouldn’t be a deal-breaker? And did she even want to marry someone who didn’t love her completely for who she really was?
She looked at the ring again, and this time it didn’t seem to glitter as brightly as it had before.
Whatever the answer, it seemed her life would be easier if she just went back to who she’d been before.
To:[email protected]
From:[email protected]
Re:Gym Membership
I’d like to book a fitness assessment with one of your personal trainers, please. I have a wedding coming up and it’s really important that I look my best. I was hoping you might be able to fit me in early next week?
Regards,
Jessica Bradley
CEO Star PR
To:[email protected]
From:[email protected]
Re:re: Gym Membership
Hi Jessica!
I’m Nelly, one of the trainers here at Go Figure! Stacey, the manager, passed this email to me as I have a suitable spot this evening, if you can make it at short notice? One of my clients has had a prolapse.
So – great news! There’s a free slot at 7! Let me know if you can make it.
Cheers,
Nelly
Tonight. That seemed almost ridiculously soon.
To:[email protected]
From:[email protected]
Re:re: re: Gym Membership
Hi Nelly,
That’s great. I’ll be there at 7.
Best wishes,
Jessica.
She drummed her fingers on the table, then pressed ‘send.’ She’d always resolved that she’d be her own woman in relationships, that she wouldn’t do anything to herself to please a man. Especially as a single mother bringing up a girl – it was her duty to set a good example, right?
But was it really Dave driving this change of heart on the exercise front? Going to the gym, eating healthily. They were all things she ought to be doing anyway. And surely if she tried to become the person she’d been at the start of her blogging journey, she’d no longer be lying.
And maybe, even if this engagement wasn’t the real deal, perhaps Dave would fall in love with her all over again; they could get back together. It might not be the stuff of dreams, but she’d at least have caught up with her own fiction.
Fit at 30
Second time lucky!
As I type this blog post, I’m looking at one of the most beautiful engagement rings I’ve ever seen. And it’s on my finger.
That’s right. Dave has finally popped the question. And I have to say the man has style. Not only did he surprise me in my office (where I was having a meeting with the gorgeous Tamzin Peters of Dagenham and Diamante) but he roped in some of the guys from the gym to perform a dance number in my honour.
It was the kind of surprise that many women dream of – the whole choreographed romantic proposal to the classic ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.’ Not many women could resist such a romantic gesture.
So, I’m about to become a blushing bride. And I think that means it’s time to step up the fitness routine! I’m going to be working with trainers at Go Figure! who’ve kindly agreed to get me in shape for the big day. And I’ll be hoping to feature some fabulous designer dresses in the weeks to come. Once I’ve toned up a little bit more.
I hope you’ll be coming with me on this amazing journey.
COMMENTS
KD
Congratulations! Saw the proposal on my Twitter feed. So lucky!
CR
Marriage is over-rated if you ask me.
D
Dave sounds like a great guy. Check him out! @MuscleDave
To:[email protected]
From:[email protected]
Re:You
Hi Bea
Hope you’re OK.
Thinking of you.
J x
Chapter Thirty-One
‘Feeling awful, can you come?’ The message came through just as Jessica was packing her bag for the gym. Bea.
It had been hard to get the appointment with Go Figure! And she’d blogged about it now. She picked up her phone to say that she could pop by on the way to her session, or maybe come around afterwards. Then stopped herself.
Would the world really end if she cancelled an arrangement (even one that felt overdue)?
‘On my way,’ she typed instead, leaving her gym bag half-packed on the bed.
In the car, she played a variety of scenarios through her head. Was Bea feeling depressed, desperate even? Was it something to do with Bea’s work? Had Bea and Mark had an argument?
She pulled up in a space a few doors down from her best friend’s house – the street was overrun with cars, parked haphazardly here and there where people had managed to fit them in. Bea lived on a new estate and it always amazed Jessica that builders were so keen to fit in that one extra property that they made constant compromises on the kind of space that was needed. Garages too small for cars. No driveways. Roads so thin people tipped their cars onto pavements to get them out of the way.
The door opened as she walked through the small gate on the front garden and Bea was there, tear-stained and wearing a dressing gown.
‘Oh Bea,’ Jessica said, leaning in for a hug.
‘I know,’ said her friend. ‘It’s just …’
‘I know. Where’s Mark and the boys?’
‘He’s taken them to football. He said just to have a bath and relax, but I sat there thinking about everything and just driving myself mad.’
‘Oh Bea.’
‘Hey, less of the “oh Bea’s”,’ her friend said, with a look that broke through her fragile exterior. ‘I didn’t invite you to placate me. I just thought we could have a cup of tea or something and put the world to rights.’
‘But you’re depress—’
‘I know. I’m depressed. But the last thing I want to do is wallow.’
‘But we could talk about it.’
‘Seriously,’ Bea said, as she flicked on the kettle. ‘I really feel as if I’m all talked out. There is no solution. And I’ve got a counsellor to help me with that, a bit. Your job is to cheer me up – tell me something good. Or regale me with stories of your chaotic life. Or tell me how Anna’s doing. Normal stuff.’
‘Normal stuff.’ Jessica repeated, wondering if there was anything in her life that could be considered normal.
‘Well, you know,’ Bea said, dropping teabags into enormous mugs. ‘Normal for you.’
‘Hey!’ but it was nice to be teased. Nice to see the real
Bea fighting back. ‘OK,’ Jessica continued as they both slipped into their places at the kitchen table. ‘Well, if it’s a laugh you want then I pimped myself out to half of the PTA at the school quiz for starters.’
‘What?’ Bea narrowly avoided spraying her with tea.
‘Yep,’ she said. ‘And, let’s see, if Liz is the gossip I think she is, then half the school now think I’ve got a terrible incontinence problem and wear nappies.’
‘You what?’
Jessica grinned. It was funny, viewed from the outside. ‘Oh, and what else? Oh yes, oh, and I have my first celebrity client.’
‘I read that on your blog – that Tamzin woman. What’s she like in real life – as vacuous as she seems on TV?’
‘Actually, I think she might be quite bright.’
‘Now you really have surprised me,’ Bea grinned. ‘Go on then, tell me everything.’
‘Thanks,’ Bea said a bit later, as Jessica scrambled in her bag for her car keys. ‘I really needed that.’
‘Me too.’ Jessica grinned. ‘It’s good to have a proper catch-up.’
Although she felt a bit guilty that she hadn’t mentioned her engagement worries, or anything about Robert and the kiss – things she’d have probably confided in Bea once.
‘No, but I really needed it,’ Bea said, all seriousness now. ‘And you came, didn’t you – straight away.’
‘Well, yes.’
‘And didn’t you have the gym booked?’
‘It’ll keep.’
‘Thank you,’ Bea said again, as she watched Jessica walk to her car. ‘See you soon.’
Chapter Thirty-Two
To:[email protected]
From:Mum
Re:Re: Re: Re: Re: FW: Hello
Jessica,
I was very shocked to receive this note from Wendy. Apparently there’s some sort of naked picture of you displayed in the gallery near the Town Hall! I know you like to be honest and revealing in your blog, but may I say there is a level of dignity a woman should stick to and you have gone too far this time, Jessica!
How I’m going to hold my head up at the club I’ll never know. I feel utterly ashamed!
Anyway, give my love to Anna!
Toodle-pip!
Mum
>>>>> Begin forwarded message
Dearest Jean,
I’m so sorry to do this to you, but I thought you ought to know what I’ve seen today in the gallery. Well, you know I like to visit all the new exhibitions of course, and when I found that there was some sort of competition going on for artists, I had to go and see what the entries were like.
I have to say I was rather shocked when I saw a painting by an artist called Hugo Henderson. It appears to feature your Jessica completely in the nude! At first I thought it must just be a girl with the same likeness (of face, you understand), but when I read the information on the painting she is actually NAMED!
It’s not that I object to nude modelling in art – in fact, I’m very open-minded when it comes to that sort of thing, despite what Sheila may have told you. But I think you’ll agree that the picture shows Jessica in a very undignified position.
I have attached a picture so you can see for yourself.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Wendy.
Attached was a close up of Jessica’s part in Hugo’s picture. Languishing on a sofa, legs akimbo, chatting on the phone.
‘Jessica!’ Candice said, walking over to her desk. ‘Visitor!’
Jessica hastily brought her email screen up to protect her dignity.
‘Who?’ she asked, her mind scrolling through possibilities: Dave? Mum? Roger the pig farmer?
‘That Dr Haydn chap. I’ve buzzed him up. Shall I show him to the meeting room?’
‘Yes, please,’ Jessica said, suddenly conscious that her hair was in complete and utter disarray thanks to the combination of light, misty rain outside and the fact that she’d forgotten a brush today. ‘I’ll, I’ll just pop to the loo first.’
‘Right.’
Inside the small cubicle, Jessica looked at herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to comb it, but it kinked and curled and seemed determined to resist any attempt to tame it. She ran some water over her fingers and patted it onto the ends, before pulling the top portion back into a half-ponytail. It wasn’t great, but at least it was in place.
Pulling a tinted lip balm from her bag and scraping off the crumbs and clay that had attached themselves to the tiny pot, she smeared a little onto her lips. Then she smoothed out the make-up that had settled into her under-eye creases and inspected the result. It would have to do.
Before she left the loos, she sent a quick ‘How are you?’ and heart emoji to Bea and received an almost immediate ‘OK’ and blowing-kiss emoji in response.
‘I’ve got him a coffee,’ Natalie said, as she passed her on the way to the meeting room. ‘Do you want me to get you a tea?’
‘Yes, please,’ Jess replied. ‘Um. Actually, no. I’ll have a coffee too, I think.’
‘Bean-free?’
‘No, real please.’
‘Oh!’ said Natalie, surprised. ‘I thought your limit was one a day? You mentioned in your blog—’
‘I know,’ Jessica said, trying to smile. ‘But it’s important to try to make clients feel at ease, don’t you think?’ Besides which, she needed coffee.
‘Great tip!’ winked Natalie. ‘Thanks, Jessica.’
When Jessica arrived at the small meeting room they shared with other start-ups in the building, Robert was sitting back in his chair and staring out of the window, lost in thought.
‘Hi, Robert,’ she said, sticking her hand out for a shake. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Um,’ he said. ‘Actually, I wanted to see if I could do something for you?’
‘For me?’ Was he asking her out?
‘Yes,’ he grinned. ‘I, well, the team at the publishers are so excited about the TV thing – did I tell you that sales tripled after that hashtag?’
She flushed – embarrassed that she’d assumed he was after a date. Surely turning up at her office and meeting her in the official meeting room should have given her a clue that this was a professional visit.
‘Even after the … doll incident?’ she said.
‘Yep. It didn’t matter, apparently. It got into people’s heads. People remember the name, you know? And then they’re in the bookshop, wondering what to buy …’ He pushed his glasses back up onto his nose self-consciously. ‘Anyway, suddenly the guys at MindHack publications are wondering whether they might have an … erm … bestseller on their hands.’ He flushed at the thought of himself as a bestselling author.
‘That’s brilliant!’ she replied, still not quite sure what he wanted from her.
‘Well,’ he said. ‘MindHack asked me for your details – I’d told them, of course, that I’d engaged outside PR at my own expense. And I think they’re going to give you a call about representing some of their other writers. Their PR department is very small, well, non-existent really …’
‘That’s wonderful.’
‘I just wanted to check that it’s OK with you for me to pass your details on?’
‘Of course.’ She was a bit confused by this; surely he should know that she was all over the internet? Her contact details weren’t exactly a secret. ‘Thank you,’ she added.
‘Sure!’ Then: ‘Oh!’ he said suddenly, on getting up – as if it was an afterthought. ‘I also wondered, well, if you’d mind me taking you out for a coffee, or smoothie or whatever, to, you know, celebrate the success?’
‘I’m not sure …’ Perhaps she’d been right after all?
‘No parks, I promise.’
She looked at him, his smiling face open and hopeful.
‘Don’t w
orry,’ he said. ‘I know you’re with someone. But I’d like to be your friend, if that’s OK? As well as a client?’
It was nice, his frank honesty. He wasn’t afraid to say what he thought; wasn’t obsessed with being liked or rejected.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘Why not?’
Chapter Thirty-Three
Hitting the gym @GoFigure! #FitforLife #Energy!
That evening, as she pulled into the car park and grabbed her gym bag out of the boot, she was flooded with fatigue. Tempted to jump back in and head for the sofa, she forced herself to climb the six concrete stairs that led to the innocuous metal door.
When she’d rung Nancy the previous evening before popping to Bea’s she’d been really understanding. ‘Don’t worry,’ she’d said. ‘It happens that I have another appointment free at seven tomorrow too!’
Which – while being very convenient – had made Jessica slightly suspicious that Nancy seemed to have so much free time.
She’d enjoyed her afternoon chatting with Robert – Dave or no Dave, there was nothing wrong with being friends. He’d told her about his children – Bobby and Alice – and how they’d struggled during the divorce. And how he’d tried the gym once but pulled a muscle in his groin. And how he’d tried to go on a writing retreat to finish his book, but thought the holiday cottage he’d booked might have been haunted.
“I had to sleep with the light on,” he admitted. “I’m practically 40, for God’s sake!”
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so much.
‘What shall I get you?’ he’d said, when she’d arrived. ‘Carrot cake? Cappuccino? Coke?’
‘I’ll just have a glass of water please,’ she’d replied, her stomach growling with longing at the array of cakes on display.
‘Really?’ he’d said. ‘Why not treat yourself?’
It seemed an alien concept. ‘Oh no,’ she’d said. ‘Too many calories – I’m at the gym later!’
‘Is it worth it?’ he’d asked her when her unappealing glass of water was plonked down by the waitress.
‘Is what worth it? The water?’
‘No, not the water. I mean, the diet. I know we probably shouldn’t eat cake – but seriously, do you really feel so great on your diet that you daren’t stray from it?’ he’d asked. ‘Not even, say, once a week?’
Everything is Fine: The funny, feel-good and uplifting page-turner you won't be able to put down! Page 19
