by Karin Dahan
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Survive for Me
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Prologue
Clare
I still can’t believe it has all gone so smoothly. Now we just need to make it out without being caught. And of course, there’s still the small detail of giving the document to Adira at the drop-off. But we’re almost there; the hard part is over.
I nervously glance down at the papers in the bottom of my purse as I quicken my steps. There it is, the one thing that can change the world.
My heels bang on the high glossy black floors and the noise echoes around the large lobby. This early in the afternoon it’s almost always empty, except for the one security guard behind his desk by the entrance. Most employees work until dinner time, if not longer. They’re not given the luxuries Alec and I have, to come and go as we please. But we have earned it because our work here has always been impeccable; up until now.
As we are getting closer to the exit, the adrenaline starts rushing through my body, making my own heartbeat pump loudly in my ears. Even though the air conditioning is on full blast in the office, I feel like
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I have just run a marathon. I hope the tiny sweat beads forming on my forehead are not visible to the security guard we will be passing on the way out.
“We can do this,” my husband whispers next to me as he gives my hand a gentle squeeze. The familiar touch of the man I love makes my heart beat slow to normal for a second.
The walls by the entrance are made up from tall floor-to-ceiling glass windows. It always gives me pause coming here after a day of work, seeing such a bright window to the outside world after being stuck in a lab all day. Today, the windows let in the bright summer rays that are mirrored on the glossy floor. The green scenery outside the office looks alive. I glance at the security officer we pass every day and nod my head. Mac reminds me of a bag of potatoes the way he lazily sits in his chair. Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I saw him standing. But I’m not complaining. A relaxed security guard only means our mission today will be easier to complete.
The automatic doors slide open when we are a few steps away and the fresh air rush towards us and helps calm my raising pulse. Almost there now. I can see our white Volvo in the distance. The car beams like a beacon of light today, because once we make it to the car,
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we have at least made it to stage three of the plan. And my plan only has five stages.
“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Jones!” Mac yells from behind his desk, straining his voice so we can hear him.
Alec and I stop dead in our tracks. A flash of fear appears in Alec’s eyes and it scares me more than Macs’ serious tone. My husband is the definition of calm. Whenever I'm stressed about work or situations with our teenage daughter, he's my rock.
“What are we going to do?” I whisper under my breath, turning my head to look as Mac makes his way towards us. He’s much faster than I expected and maneuvers his weight with a surprise ease.
“You go to the car and I will deal with this. If I give you a signal, you drive away.” He places the car keys in my hand and yells out to the guard, “Just a second Mac, my wife is not feeling so grand.”
“Alec, I can’t leave without you,” I say with despair in my voice, holding onto his arm, not willing to let him go. I need his strength and calm to get this done.
Alec takes a deep breath and looks me in the eyes, using the only words he knows will make me go. “You have to make sure Eddie is safe. And I’m sure this is nothing. Just wait for me in the car.”
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The first sentence is all I needed to hear. Eddie, my heart and soul, our one and only daughter. With a last glance back at Alec as he casually strides up towards Mac I head for the car, more determined and less nervous now than before. They couldn’t have found out about what we took. Even if they did, it wouldn’t have been this fast. We are safe, we must be.
The door to our old Volvo gives a familiar whine as I open the driver seat. I turn the keys in the ignition and the car comes to life. Just as I glance toward the office building, trying to see how far behind Alec is, I see the main entry door to the office open and my stomach drops as fear take hold of every cell of my body. A line of security guards marches out toward Mac and Alec. They all have their guns drawn. I lock eyes with Alec and for the first time in our twenty-year marriage I see true panic in his eyes. It’s as foreign as it is terrifying.
“GO!” Alec yells as the guards restrain him.
But I freeze, unable to put the car into drive and get to safety. Everything around me is suddenly moving in slow motion. I can only watch as Alec throws a well-aimed punch at the first guard that tries to grab him, and Mac screams to the other guards to stop the car. Simultaneously, as Alec throws a second punch, some of the guards
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start sprinting in my direction. I finally tear my eyes away from the scene unfolding by the glass doors and pull out of my trance. Everything springs into hyper speed as the energy rushes through my body, urging me to act.
Alec puts up a fight. The guards didn’t expect the nerdy science professor to be in such great physical shape. This gives him the advantage. His goal is not to beat his way out of the situation. He knows it’s impossible. But, whatever time he can give me, he knows it could mean the difference between life and death.
Tears cloud my vision as I punch the gas pedal and drive out through the gate. I look in the rearview mirror and see Alec still fighting, but I know from his mannerism he’s getting tired. I’m so sorry my love.
I don’t have the luxury of thinking about him right now. I wipe away the tears flowing down my cheeks as I pull myself together. Too much depends on this. There’s no turning back. I must get the documents out and get my daughter to safety; Eddie’s safety is everything. A sense of calm washes over me, my vision is clearer, as are my reflexes when I zigzag the car through the light traffic on the road. It must be the adrenaline; my science-loving mind can’t help but marvel at
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the amazing human body and how it functions in crises. Only when I gave birth had this survival mode kicked in before, and the memory of that is hazy. Fourteen years will do that.
“Eddie … Eddie, where are you?” I yell as soon as I open our front door.
I hurry through the first floor in search of my daughter. All the rooms are empty. Desperation claws at my senses as I race up the stairs. What if she isn’t here? She should be home from school around this time; she must be. There isn’t enough time for me to search for her elsewhere. And leaving without Eddie is not an option.
I open the door to her bedroom and find my beautiful daughter sitting on her bed with her headphones on, lost in the music and the book that’s opened in her lap. A memory of when Eddie was little and loved nothing more than jumping on her bed quickly flashes in my mind. It seems that no matter how many birthdays we celebrate, Eddie will always be a little girl to me. Just then Eddie looks up and when she sees my grim expression her smile quickly vanishes.
“What’s wrong mom? Shouldn’t you be at work?” She takes out one of her headphones. The music is so loud I can hear it from across
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the room.
“We need to go; I can’t explain everything right now sweetie. Come on.” I gesture with my hands, but she doesn’t seem to grasp the urgency in my voice.
“Mom, you are freaking me out. Where’s Dad?”
I walk up and sit down on the bed next to Eddie. I drum my finger anxiously on her comforter. Her bedsheets portray galaxies and star constellations. We gave it to her when she was little and it’s still her favorite. “Eddie, we’re in danger and I can’t answer all of your questions. People
are coming for me, and I need to get us to safety.”
Eddie simply stares at me before bursting out laughing. “Right, Mom, you got me; very funny. And I’m a secret spy who’s not really your daughter,” she says sarcastically as she puts her headphones on again, shaking her head and chuckling to herself.
My frustration bubbles over and I can’t stop myself from tearing the headphones from my daughter’s ears and throwing them across the room. Teenagers are hard to deal with on a regular day. This is too much to keep calm.
“Eddie Jamenson, you get out of bed and you come with me!”
Eddie’s smile slowly fades from her lips as she looks at me with
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confusion in her eyes. She doesn’t ask the questions that bubbles up in her mind but instead grabs her backpack from the floor and follows me out to the car.
As we slam the doors shut my shoulders relax slightly.
“Where are we going?”
“To the cabin, but we just have to stop at Uncle Edward’s first,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light.
I hold the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white, but at least it keeps my hands from shaking. Edward only lives down the street. On any other normal day, we would walk to his house, but every second counts now.
The drive takes a minute and when I pull up to the familiar teal colored house a false emotion of safety flickers in my mind. My brother’s house has always been like a harbor in a stormy sea, a safe haven where nothing bad could happen. Edward is ten years my senior and has been a father figure to me since my childhood after our father passed away during the terrible earthquake of 2056. When I was younger, I thought he had all the answers to the world’s questions. It was because of him I decided to become a scientist. When I married Alec, Edward was the obvious choice to give me away at the altar. I still
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remember that day as clear as yesterday; the way Alec beamed at me when I entered the botanical garden where we got married, my heart racing with nerves and excitement and Edward calmly guiding me down the path next to the giant exotic flowers. When we got to Alec, he gave me a warm embrace and whispered, “You did good with this one.” I couldn’t help but smile. He reminded me so much of our father. The daydream is suddenly interrupted by Eddie, “Mom where’s Dad?”
“Come on; let’s get going,” I abruptly open the door and let Eddie’s question go unanswered, but Eddie is more persistent than that, she follows me up the two stone steps towards the door. “Mom, stop and answer my question. I want to know where Dad is.”
“Not now,” I knock on the red door while holding onto Eddie with my other hand. No answer. The second knock is louder and more desperate.
Still nothing.
I pull up the heart-shaped keychain Eddie made from pearls as a child. I fumble getting the spare key into the lock. “Damn it!”
“Here, let me do it.” Eddie takes the keys from my shaking hands and quickly opens the door. Even though I know she doesn’t believe we’re in danger, I can tell she’s frightened.
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“Thanks honey,” I put my hand on her shoulders as I follow her inside to the hallway.
“You look for Edward upstairs and I will look down here.”
“No, first you need to tell me why Dad isn’t here,” Eddie protests.
I quickly sweep the area for any sign of Edward, hoping he can save me from answering my daughter’s question. But all the lights are off. The house looks sleepy and quiet. I know there’s no way to avoid the inevitable as I read fear and worry in Eddie’s eyes. I gently take her hand in mine, “I wish I could give you a better answer sweetie, but I don’t know. The security guards detained him at the office, and he made me promise to get you to safety. So, will you please listen to me, for Dad’s sake?” I don’t want to lie to Eddie about Alec but at the same time I don’t have the heart to tell her how bad the situation was when I left him. She is quiet for a few seconds. I can tell she’s pondering over whether to accept my explanation or not. She lets go of my hand and start up the stairs in the hallway. “I will look for him upstairs then.”
I sink down on the worn kitchen chair as the reality sinks in. We have failed. Edward isn’t home. The dinner table where countless family
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dinners have been enjoyed is now foreign and cold. It’s like Edward’s otherwise warm and homey house now has a cold draft. I shiver and try to collect my thoughts. I hear Eddie’s footsteps bouncing down the stairs. I don’t have to ask her. I know Eddie hasn’t found him upstairs either. If she had I would have heard his familiar husky voice by now. Edward would have known what to do; he always had the answers.
“Mom, Edward isn’t home.” Eddie walks up and takes a seat next to me, lightly touching my hand. “What is that on your wrist?”
I look to where she’s pointing and see a microscopic blinking light under my skin, I don’t know why but it instantly reminds me of a ticking bomb. My mind goes blank as I look at the foreign object in my body. What is this? When had it been placed there?
Sirens in the distance bring me back to the grim reality. Maybe it’s a tracking device of some sort. They must have put it in at the same time that they implanted the keycard chip, when I first started working for the government. I had no idea they did this. I mumble, more to myself than to Eddie. I run my finger over the yellow light that seems to illuminate my whole wrist now. My whole body is slowly starting to panic. I won’t be able to leave with Eddie.
“Mom, now you’re freaking me out.” Eddie nervously starts
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playing with a book that’s on Edward’s kitchen table, waiting for me to answer her. Just like our house, Edward’s is filled with books. Most of them are scientific publications about biology but Edward also loves history and antique bibliography. He often says the key to our future is knowing our past. The book on his kitchen table puzzles me for a split second; it’s a Bible. It’s both extremely out of place and out of date. People had long ago abandoned religion and its message. Sure, there were still some religious cults here and there, but it was not the norm. People didn’t have time for religion anymore and no one had the luxury of putting their hope in the hands of faith.
It started with the famine. No one had the time or energy to dedicate to beliefs. Now, it was all about surviving; spending all your energy and time gaining access to food and a safe place to live. That was the everyday struggle for most of the population after the global warming had caused irrevocable damages to our planet. I’m not even sure Eddie knows how the real-world struggles; she has been so sheltered growing up inside the gates of the community that houses the government workers. We always have food and clean water. But the government is meticulous at giving only enough for each family member to survive.
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There is never anything extra to be bartered or given away to help others.
I take Eddie’s hands in mine, making her drop the Bible on the ground.
“Eddie, you know I love you more than anything, and so does your father,” I swallow the lump in my throat. I must be strong for Eddie. The confusion shines in her forest green eyes as she’s trying to make sense of the situation.
Strands of her light brown hair fall in front of her face and I automatically put it behind her ear, even though it didn’t seem to bother her. Memories flutter through my mind as I try to decide what and how much to tell my daughter. How do you tell someone that you love them more than you love yourself? That your whole world came into focus once they came into this life? How do I convey that it breaks me apart having to leave her to fend for herself, that I can no longer do the one thing I swore when she was born, which was to protect her?
“I love you more than anything in this universe, Eddie, and I’m so proud of the person you’re becoming.” Tears roll down Eddie’s cheeks and she looks so vulnerable and little that I have to muster up all the energy and courage I have to be able to continue. “Your Dad and I
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&nbs
p; broke the law. Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten involved, but we’re the only ones for this mission and it could have changed the world, giving you and your future children a better world. I brush away her tears. “There is so much you don’t know. We wanted to give you a sheltered childhood, full of love and innocence. It’s so rare today.” I can’t help but think that being selfless and trying to save millions now seem like the wrong decision. Why have I been so unrealistic? Why was I so ignorant to think the government wasn’t guarding their biggest secret better? In hindsight our plan feels like it had been formed by a hopeful child. But at least I can still save Eddie and hopefully Edward can carry on when he gets back.
“There isn’t time for me to explain everything now honey. I was hoping we would go together, but you’ll have to do this on your own. I can’t risk your safety when they’re tracking me.”
Desperation sets in with Eddie as she clings to my hands, refusing to let go. “Mom, stop it. I can’t leave you. I won’t!”
I managed a small smile of encouragement, even though my heart is breaking into a million pieces. “You have always had a strong will, ever since you were born, you know that? Your Dad and I often joked about how you set the rules in the house and we had to follow
